The fucker was on her for a while, and as much as their cat and bat game was fun, it was beginning to get in the middle of her business. There was this tiny small Brazilian island with her name on it, and unfortunately it was hard to steal whole islands than jewellery, so, of course, to steal some of the latter to get her island. She was calling it her retirement plan.

She was so close to her goal 12 million goal, only 10k to go, the job had been a god send, a rich collector had just acquired an Edwardian aquamarine and diamond brooch that have been on her client's list for ages, thank goodness it was not her style at all, so she wouldn't be tempted. It was easy enough, the security system was not what she expected from her research, but it had been fun to crack it, it was good to be surprised sometimes, she thought, kept her on her toes.

Her prize was already safely inside her bag, and Selina was ready to leave, when he appeared dark and broody, cape flowing behind him like a vampire on a silent era movie.

"Put it back."

"Oh for Bastet's sake!"

She ran, he went after her, and to be fair she was having fun taunting him, but there was something odd about that night, usually he gave her a little more of work, he seemed to be lagging. She even looked behind a few times to see if he was still following her, because there was nights in which would just leave to take care of an actual life threating crime. Selina thought that was the case and stopped to look, as much as the danger of him actually catching her and taking her prize back was not null, it almost felt like a let down when he'd just leave like that without a proper goodbye. He had no manners! Have no one taught him how to treat a lady?

Not that she was one.

She turned away and head back small rooftop apartment on East End, she had just entered her home, and pulled the cowl off her head when she felt a massive weight smash against her back throwing her on the floor. Fear struck her even harder, had the celling just fallen? She screamed for her cats to find safety before she managed to wiggle her body around enough to get an idea of the situation.

"What the actual fuck!"

The celling was intact and what was currently pressing her to the floor was the wall of meat known as the Batman.

"Put… it back."

And then his eyes closed. She had never been close enough to notice before, but they were blue.

oOo

It was embarrassing. She was tied up to a bomb. Heist gone wrong, well, it was good that he appeared since it was his fault that there was a heist at all. After leaving her flat while she napped after playing his personal Florence Nightingale all night, he repaid her by stealing her brooch!

Can you believe it?

The ingratitude?

The disrespect?

It was entirely his fault that she was obligated to break into that stupid warehouse to steal her new mark – an art deco diamond bracelet with an asscher cut, totally her style, she was already planning how to get it back, for free, of course. It was not her fault that the intel that got forgot to inform her that it was the same warehouse that had been used by Don Malone to hide drugs. And that when she broke in the place was no empty and Malone's goons thought she was working for Falcone. Of course, no one believed her when she told them that she didn't have anything to do with that.

You know, that's why Selina had no trouble lying, because the truth hardly matters when someone wants to fuck you up, they will just do it for good measure, for fun, because sometimes you bloody deserve it for being the fool that nursed the fucking Batman back to health and were robbed by him.

But then, just as was she was about to accept that was how she'd meet her maker, a little leprechaun fell from the roof and said in a squeaky voice that she'd be okay.

"Geez, freaks are getting younger every day!"

Until Batman appeared and started defusing the bomb she thought she had already died and was having a very weird afterlife.

"He's not a freak."

"Oh… he's with you!"

Maybe she was having a very weird afterlife. But why the hell her afterlife included the fucking Batman?

"He's my… hmm… son."

Wait, that was too weird for an afterlife.

"Your son? And his mother is okay with that? Jesus, isn't he afraid of falling down?"

The boy had climbed a rope hanging from the roof and was hanging upside down by his pixie booted feet.

"He doesn't have a mother," Batman muttered as he still worked on her bomb, well, not hers. She owned no bombs, your honour. He was awfully talkative that night, that Batman. "Robin, behave!"

Oh my god, he was the leprechaun's father! The information was just too good and at the same time she had no idea of what to do with it. It was the kind of prize she'd keep for herself.

"I'm behaving!" the high pitched boyish voice shouted back, but he did a flip and landed on the floor. She could say she was impressed. How old was that kid? Less than ten, she'd bet.

"Poor kitten, is she…"

"She died" he said so devoid of feeling that she raised an eyebrow. Of course Batman tended to be stoic, but, that was cold even for him.

"I'm sorry for your loss" she tried lamely.

He sighed. Batman actually sighed. What the hell was happening?

"I didn't know her. He's adopted."

That night was one shocking revelation after another, wasn't it?

"So… There isn't a Mrs. Batman, then?"

What kind of lame line was that? Urgh. But was he… Nah. She was imagining it. He had not, in fact, sniffed her neck.

Of course, she couldn't see, he was behind her, and although she could see Robin at the entrance very well because the light coming from outside reflected his little yellow cape as he amused himself by doing what looked like very dangerous acrobatics, where she was sitting, tied to a chair that was chained to a bomb, was completely dark. She could only hope he was really some sort of vampiric meta that could see in the dark otherwise letting him disarm the bomb was not the best of her decisions.

"It's done."

He released her. Selina rotated her wrists and stood up, relieved.

"Robin, let's go!"

She watched as the boy let out a happy yelp and ran ahead, they could use that one as a limitless energy source and end climate change.

"Wait" she said walking around the chair to meet him in the dark "let me say thank you first, you just saved my life."

"There's no n-"

He couldn't end the sentence when Selina blindly pressed her lips against his.

She meant to be a small playful peck, but Batman's gloved hand slid to the small of her back, pulling her close and before she could think clearly about what she was doing, her arms were around his neck, hoisting her body up to fix their huge height difference issue. He parted her lips and slid his hot tongue against the roof of her mouth, the hard pointy part of his mask that protected his nose biting into her cheek.

"Ewww," they broke the kiss to look at Robin's small face wrinkled with disgust, but still remained in each other's arms for a moment. And then, slowly, they turned their faces back forward.

Selina swallowed down, she still could taste him. And he was not letting her go, she had to be the one to pull her arms back, her heels touching the floor again.

She never thought she'd ever see Batman acting awkward but there was no other word to describe the way he grunted and stepped back before nodding to her and left, taking his little killjoy with him.

She stood there for a while.

She almost died.

She kissed the Batman.

Was cockblocked by Batman's son.

Batman's son?

What the fuck!

The rain made the power go out and I was looking through my WIPs. I really don't remember writing this story lmao. But now It is finished and you can read it!

Please tell me what you think of it.

Kisses, see ya.