Awinita opened her dark brown eyes and looked at the man next to her in bed. After months of flirting and dancing around each other, her and Drew had finally stepped over the line last night. She was in his bed. A place where she wasn't supposed to be although she had no complaints.
"I'm gonna make you see stars, muffin. I crave to touch you. I need to taste you. Lay back and enjoy."
She smirked at the memory of him going down on her. He had a tongue that was out of this world, and that had only been the beginning. It had been one hot night to remember.
"Maybe later," he mumbled in his sleep.
He rolled over on his other side so his back was against her. She made her way out of bed as quietly as she could. She found her clothes on the floor and got dressed. If he had been a stranger, she would have snuck out and never looked back. This was different though. This was Drew. They worked together and would see each other again. And in all fairness, he deserved to know. She couldn't just run out on him. In the end he probably agreed with her. This was a one time thing that shouldn't be repeated. A mistake that never should have happened no matter how good it had been.
"It was pretty fucking good," she whispered.
She walked through his house and out to the bathroom first. She peed and washed her hands. She looked in the mirror and smirked again. Her black, short bob hair was a mess after a night of passion. She combed it with her fingers to make it look somewhat normal.
"You loved it, girl," she grinned at her mirror image. "That man is perfect."
Her grin faded and she sighed. He was everything she dreamed of but it couldn't happen. She left the bathroom and walked outside on his terrace. She sat down on the edge of a lounger chair and looked at his garden. Only ten minutes past when she suddenly heard him.
"Good morning, muffin," he said. "Or afternoon maybe. What time is it?"
He sat down behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. It felt so good and she hated that she had to ruin the moment soon.
"I don't know. I think maybe around 11," she said.
"We deserved to sleep in," he chuckled. "Last night was amazing."
"It sure was," she said.
"The tone of your voice indicates otherwise," he said.
She sighed. She needed to tell him this couldn't go any further.
"As good as last night was, it was a mistake," she said.
"I disagree but I respect it if you don't want us to take it any further. I do wish to know why though because I feel like we've been building up to this moment for so long, and I need to know if I misinterpreted your signals along the way," he said.
"I..." She choked on her words. "I'm sorry."
"Take a deep breath," he said.
She did as he said and took a deep breath. She nodded as she blew out her breath.
"I'm the oldest of eight siblings," she said.
"Damn, that's a lot," he said.
"I was 4 when my first sister arrived. 5 when my first brother arrived. 7 when the twin boys came. 9 when another sister arrived. And 11 when the twin girls were born," she said.
"Your house must have been very noisy," he said.
"You have no idea," she said. "As the oldest I was tasked to take care of them all. My parents just kept popping them out and expected me to cook, clean, help with homework, take them to school, pick them up, and babysit. I never got to do anything I wanted. I never got a choice."
He tightened his arms around her and sighed. Clearly he felt her pain.
"You were parentified," he said. "That's not okay."
"Yeah, I was," she said. "I somehow managed to keep up with school but I was exhausted. They wouldn't allow me to get a job so I couldn't save up any money. One day two of my friends came and told me they were gonna rent an apartment together. They asked me to move in with them. They knew my situation. They said I could live there the first three months for free so I had a chance to find a job and start earning some money."
"So did you?" He asked.
"Of course I did. I packed my shit and got out of my parents' home. They were so angry. Who's gonna take care of your siblings? I don't know. Maybe you since you're the fucking parents. I never asked for any of my siblings to be born, and it sure wasn't my duty to raise them. I didn't start living for real until I was out of there," she said.
It felt good getting all that off her chest. He leaned closer up against her.
"So what does all that have to do with us?" He asked.
"I feel like I've already done my part in raising children. I never want my own," she said.
He let out what sounded like a blissful sigh and kissed the back of her head.
"You get more and more perfect by the second," he said.
"Huh?" She asked.
"I never wanted children either," he said. "So many people have told me I'll end up alone since all women want children. Well, we know that's a fucking lie. And in the end, I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than bring a child into the world that I don't want and will not love just to keep a partner. That way of thinking is a fucking recipe for a disaster. You'll ruin three lives that way."
She moved around and sat on her knees between his legs so she could look at him. He had only put his briefs back on. He smiled at her and leaned in to place a soft kiss on her lips.
"I'm not perfect," she said.
"You're my type of perfect," he said. "I want you. Just you. And a couple of cats of course."
"Are you for real right now?" She asked.
"Oh, Awinita," he placed a hand on her cheek. "I'm as real as I can get. I want you, muffin. So make your choice right now. Do you wanna take a shot on some crazy, cat-loving Scotsman?"
She giggled and pressed her lips against his. He wrapped his arms around her again and pulled her up on his lap.
"What do you say I get you out of these clothes again and give you some much deserved attention? After that we can take a shower, drive to your place to get you into some fresh clothes, and then maybe go hunt for some breakfast," he said.
"How about we buy breakfast on our way to my place to we can eat it there and just hang out without anyone around us?" She asked.
"Even better," he grinned. "Although we might have to buy lunch instead seeing what time it is."
"I could go for a burrito right about now," she said.
"Burrito it is," he said. "Burrito is fucking perfect."