A/N: This is very much a mix of book and musical, along with my own imagination. Several things to keep in mind here: in this version, the events of the final lair play out more or less as they do in the musical, but the opera house isn't significantly damaged, and performances have resumed by the time this story starts. Likewise, no angry mob descended on Erik's home, either. Also, Philippe both exists in this version and is still alive. And finally, Raoul does not come off well here, so any Raoul fans be warned.
Christine Daaé trudged along the streets of Paris, feeling the chill in the October air. She still had a long way to go before she reached her destination, and part of her wanted to simply give up, but she kept putting one foot in front of the other. The thought of the only remaining chance she had of giving the innocent life growing inside her a decent future was providing her the strength to go on. She just hoped when she finally reached the opera house, her angel would still be there.
In some ways it was hard to believe that only five months had passed since the fateful night Erik had forced her to leave with Raoul. So much had happened since then, Christine nearly felt like a completely different person. Why had she let Erik send her away? Why hadn't she been stronger? It had been such a confusing, emotional night. When she chose Erik and they finally kissed, it had all seemed so right. Then while she was still reeling from her emotional discovery, he had turned from her and demanded that she leave with Raoul. With the sense of shock that had been hanging over her that entire night, she had docilely let Raoul lead her from the house on the lake, instead of fighting to stay with the man she truly loved. She had realized her mistake long before now, but the events that transpired that night after they left Erik behind had had consequences that had prevented her from returning to him sooner.
When Raoul led her from the opera, he had taken her to his townhouse, but instead of taking her to a guest room that first night, he had brought her into his own bedroom. By the time they reached his home, Christine was in what she now realized was a state of shock. Although her memories of that part of the evening were much duller than the crystal clear ones she had of everything that had happened with Erik, she remembered enough.
By the time they reached his room, Raoul had begun to cry, and as soon as the door shut behind them he had grabbed her to him. Although Christine couldn't recall everything he had said, she knew he had started going on about the kiss she had given Erik, which she had only done in the first place to save Raoul anyway (at least as far as he knew.) He had cried that if she truly loved him, she would have to show him, or he would never be able to forget the sight of her kissing that monster. In her completely numb state, Christine had agreed and let Raoul bed her. Mercifully, her grief had dulled her memory of what happened next, although she remembered it being mostly uncomfortable but over fairly quickly.
The next morning, Raoul had been very repentant, apologizing for having given in to his baser urges and defiling her before they were married. As Christine had always considered herself a good girl, she was ashamed that they had anticipated the wedding night, but felt there probably wasn't too much harm in it since they were to be married. And if the thought of marrying Raoul left her feeling unmoved, she told herself it was because of all the turmoil she had been through with Erik. How silly it had been of her to think she wanted to marry Erik and not Raoul! Of course Raoul was the man she loved, had always loved.
Except over the next two months, she found herself thinking of Erik more and more. And it seemed like Raoul was having second thoughts about the wedding himself. His older brother was furious at him for wanting to marry a former opera singer. Philippe had threatened to cut Raoul off from the family (and therefore the family money) entirely, and that seemed to weigh on him. And the fact that she would definitely be a former opera singer was not lost on Christine - if she wanted to be a vicomtesse, her days of singing in public would certainly be over. As her head cleared as more time passed from that dreadful night, she started to realize a life without Erik and with very little music was not a life she wanted to lead.
Christine began trying to formulate a plan to reach Erik. Surely if he would talk to her, if she could explain that she had truly meant it when she had chosen him, they could try to put the past behind them and start a life together. Around this time, though, Christine came down with a strange illness. For a week, she found herself quite sick to her stomach in the morning, and then feeling much better by the afternoon and evening, only to be back to being sick the next morning, until her maid finally commented on it. Her matter-of-fact statement that Christine seemed to be expecting had thrown her entire world off course. How had she not noticed that in the two months since she had lain with Raoul, she hadn't had her monthly?
After her symptoms continued for another week, she finally told Raoul. He seemed happy when she told him, although not as overjoyed as she might have expected. And although it secretly broke her heart, Christine gave up any thoughts of trying to contact Erik. It wouldn't be right to take Raoul's child away from him, and no doubt Erik wouldn't want her now anyway. So she had to learn to put her dreams of love and music aside, but she told herself it would be easier when she had her baby to hold and love.
When she was nearing what would be the fourth month of her pregnancy (it was easy to know exactly how far along she was when they had only been intimate the one time), Christine found her world once again fundamentally changed, however. Although she had noticed Raoul seemed more and more distant, she felt that would improve once they were married and the baby was born, although she wasn't sure exactly why they hadn't yet set a date to be wed. Raoul never seemed to want to talk about it the few times she had brought it up, so she had quit mentioning it. When he returned home one afternoon and asked her to join him in his office for a discussion about their future, she felt sure he was finally going to set a date for the wedding. Trying not to think about her lack of excitement for the topic, she joined him, telling herself this was the right thing for them to do.
As it turned out, though, Raoul had quite a different discussion in mind. Without once fully looking her in the eye, he had informed her that after a conversation with Philippe, he had decided to end their engagement and their relationship. As Christine had tearfully begged him for an explanation, he had given her a cruel one. "Philippe pointed out that the timing of this pregnancy is quite suspect. Of course he doesn't know that you spent so much time unchaperoned in a strange man's house around the time you fell pregnant, but I do. And I'm not interested in raising the child of a deformed madman." Christine had pleaded with him to believe her that he was certainly the father, if only for the child's sake, but her pleas had fallen on deaf ears. And she found herself turned out of the de Chagny house with only the few belongings she had brought with her and some money Raoul had given her.
Instead of seeking out Erik, or anyone from the opera for help, Christine had first taken a room in a boarding house with the money Raoul had given her while she tried to decide what to do. She truly felt alone in the world. Mamma Valérius was gone, and Meg or the other dancers wouldn't have the means to help her. That only left her former teacher, but why would he want to help her when she was pregnant with the child of the man she had spurned him for? She decided to wait and see if Raoul would realize his mistake and ask her to forgive him. Although it was the last thing she wanted for herself, she knew it would be the best thing for the baby. She sent her address to his home in case he wanted to contact her, but she heard nothing from him.
Although she lived as frugally as she could, the money lasted only a month. With no word from Raoul and no money, Christine knew she was going to have to make some hard decisions. There were very few options available to a woman trying to raise a baby alone. She could try selling herself on the street, as abhorrent as that thought was. She could try to seek employment as a maid, but she had no experience and she thought it extremely unlikely that she would be able to find a domestic position now that her pregnancy was obvious. Or she could beg Erik for help, and maybe once the baby was born, she could regain a position with the opera and support her child that way. It would be hard, but she could make it work, if she could just find a way to survive until then.
So here it was that she was returning to the Palais Garnier, the place she longed to be, both on its stage and in the house far below it, but had never thought she would return to again. And when the magnificent building finally came into view ahead of her, she felt something she hadn't felt in months: hope.
xxxxx
Although she had worried it might be difficult, it had turned out to be surprisingly easy to enter the opera house and make her way to her old dressing room. Not many people seemed to be about at that time of the afternoon, and the ones she passed didn't seem to pay her any mind. When she knocked on the door and didn't receive an answer she cautiously opened it, only to find that the room looked to be unused. Christine hit the catch to release the mirror, and once she had stepped through and closed it again, she took a deep breath and turned, ready to start the journey toward her old teacher's home. She only prayed she would find him there.
Erik had once shown her a path that she could use that allowed access to his home without having to cross the lake, and that was the course she headed on now. Christine merely had to hope that he hadn't changed the location of any of the traps he had carefully shown her. Her trek was uneventful, though. No doubt Erik had thought there was no chance she would ever come this way again, and hadn't bothered to change anything. That is, if he's still even here, her worried mind reminded her.
When she reached Erik's house, she knocked on the door, even though it felt ridiculous after all the times she had come to visit or stay with him, back when she entered without knocking and he was always so pleased to see her. Christine was much less sure of her welcome this time, but when there was no answer, she tentatively pushed open the door. "Erik?"
There was no answer. Starting to feel a twinge of panic that maybe he had abandoned the house and moved on to somewhere she would never find him, she walked into the house. What she found inside relieved her, though. It certainly seemed like someone was still living there, although as she cautiously checked all the rooms she found them empty. When she entered the kitchen, Christine got a hint of where Erik might have gone: when she checked his food cabinets she found only a small part of a loaf of bread left. Although Erik ate ridiculously little, he still had to eat sometimes, so she thought maybe he was out for supplies.
Christine was quite hungry, as she had been able to purchase very little food these past weeks as she tried to make her meager funds stretch. She couldn't stop herself from eating the bread - hopefully Erik wouldn't begrudge her his food. Pensively, she reflected on the irony of her thoughts. Back in what seemed another life now, Erik had been thrilled to provide food for her and constantly reminded her that anything in his possession was at her full disposal. No doubt his feelings on that matter had changed.
After finishing her snack, Christine went to the only room she hadn't looked for Erik in - her bedroom. Or her former bedroom, she supposed it was now. It looked the same, and being back in this room started to bring all her emotions to the surface. Now fighting back tears, she looked in the wardrobe and gasped. All of the clothing Erik had provided her with still hung there. When she entered her bathroom, she found all the soaps and lotions he had bought for her were still there. Maybe there was hope! Although she felt certain Erik would no longer be interested in her romantically, especially once he found out she carried the child of the man he hated, maybe his keeping all her things indicated he still had a fondness for her. Maybe he would help her and her baby.
The temptation to have a hot bath was overwhelming, and Christine nearly gave in to it, but she decided not to. She didn't know when Erik would return, and she didn't care to be in the bathtub when he discovered she had invaded his house. Instead she moved back to the bedroom and laid down on her soft mattress. The emotions of being back in the only place she had ever truly felt she belonged since her father died were sweeping over her, and tears began to run down her cheeks. Between the tiredness she felt from both her pregnancy and the long journey she had taken that day, her emotional upheaval, and the fact that she had some food in her stomach, it wasn't long before she fell into a deep sleep. So deep, in fact, that she did not hear the door to the house open almost silently, or the nearly imperceptible footsteps of her former mentor entering his home.
A/N: This is my current work in progress, so at this point I'm not sure how long it will end up being. This is the most ambitious piece I have attempted to write so far, and I'm having a lot of fun working on it. Feel free to let me know what you think of this chapter, and thank you for reading!