Amanda hurried through the apartment trying to remember the breathing exercises Dr. Lindstrom had taught her. There were usually several pacifiers scattered throughout the apartment, but in her panic she couldn't find one. She picked up her cell phone and ran to her room. She crawled up on the bed and curled up fetal, clutching Erica in her arms. She typed out a frantic text message and hit 'send' as she began to sob, praying that help would be on the way soon. She tried rubbing her own belly the way Mama did, and when it did nothing to soothe her, she put her thumb in her mouth despite knowing it was against the rules.
Olivia sat at her desk working on her computer and listening to Fin and Carisi arguing the believability of their most recent case when her cell phone alerted her that she had a text message. She immediately went on alert when she read Amanda's words.
Mama help.
That she was being called 'Mama' was concerning. It was Amanda's day off, and she had been perfectly fine in her 'big girl' form when Olivia left for work that morning. Something must have scared her to make her retreat into 'little' space when Olivia wasn't even home.
"Fin, I have to take care of something, I'm clocking out early. Hold down the fort." Olivia instructed as she stood from her desk and gathered her things.
"Copy that, Captain." Fin replied, and then the boys returned to their arguing as Olivia hurried out of her office.
Olivia drove home as fast as she safely could. When she stepped foot in the apartment, she could hear Little Mandy sobbing hysterically and her heart shattered, wondering how long her precious angel had been crying alone without her Mama to comfort her. Olivia quickly kicked off her shoes and tossed aside her jacket and car keys.
"I'm coming, baby, I hear you!" Olivia called out.
She hurried to the kitchen where she located Little Mandy's green Tinkerbell sippy cup and filled it with juice. She placed the sippy cup and a pacifier next to Little Mandy's rocker, quickly swapped her work clothes for something more comfortable and casual, and hurried to Little Mandy's room to tend to her distraught baby girl. Little Mandy immediately reached her arms out for Mama to hold her.
"Oh, my sweet little one. Mama's here. Mama's right here. There, there, that's my good girl. You go right ahead and cry it all out, Mama's here. You and Mama are just going to cuddle for as long as you want, and when you're ready Mama has juice for you." Olivia cooed lovingly as she gently scooped Little Mandy into her arms and carried her down the hall and sat down on the rocker to cuddle Little Mandy on her lap.
Little Mandy threw her arms around Mama and held on for dear life, sobbing on Mama's shoulder while Mama rocked and cuddled her. Olivia reached underneath Little Mandy's t-shirt and gently rubbed her back to soothe her.
"M-M-Mama!" Little Mandy sobbed.
"Yes, angel, Mama came home early for you. Mama's so proud of you for texting me right away when you needed help. That was exactly the right thing to do, you can always text or call me when you need me. Good girl." Olivia praised lovingly.
Safe in Mama's arms, Little Mandy slowly calmed until she was calm enough to drink her juice. Olivia shifted her position in her arms so she was lying in a comfortable, slightly reclined position. With a few stray tears still slowly rolling down her sweet face, Little Mandy obediently opened her mouth when Mama held the sippy cup to her lips. Little Mandy gazed up at Mama while she drank her juice and listened to Mama's gentle voice showering her with tender words of love and gentle praise. When her sippy cup was empty, Mama gave her the pacifier and continued to cuddle her, reaching underneath Little Mandy's t-shirt to lightly rub her belly to provide further soothing. Little Mandy silently handed Mama 'big girl' Amanda's cell phone. Olivia glanced at the phone and saw that there was a new recorded message. Still rubbing Little Mandy's belly to soothe her and keep her calm, Olivia listened to the message. She sighed sadly as she listened to the cruel ranting of an obviously very drunk Jim Rollins and Amanda trying to defend herself. The conversation quickly reached an ear-splitting climax as both sides screamed and cursed. Halfway through the message, Olivia turned it off. She didn't need to hear anymore, it was obvious that her darling had endured a traumatic conversation with her father and Amanda's sudden retreat into 'little' space made complete sense.
"Magic board, please?" Little Mandy took the pacifier out of her mouth to ask her question and then popped it right back in.
"You want to use the magic board? Here you go." Olivia picked up Little Mandy's dry-erase board and a marker. Little Mandy sometimes liked to use the dry-erase board to communicate.
Are you going to give me soap? Little Mandy wrote on the board and looked up at Mama sadly. The recorded message was chock full of naughty words that Little Mandy was not allowed to say.
"No, sweetie, not this time. I think this once you can be forgiven without a soaping. But I don't want you to make a habit of using naughty words, okay? You are intelligent and beautiful and you know lots of words, you don't need to stoop to his level to get your point across."
Little Mandy nodded her understanding, erased the board, and began to write again.
Bath and diaper please?
"Yes, lovey, you can have a bath and a diaper. Since Mama is home early, we can go to the playground today if you like." Olivia offered. Little Mandy smiled happily at this news.
Olivia drew a warm, soothing bath with Little Mandy's favorite strawberry-scented bubble bath. She gently stripped Little Mandy out of her clothes and guided her into the tub. Little Mandy splashed happily in the water and played with her bath toys while Mama gently washed her hair and body. She giggled when the soft cloth tickled her belly and her feet.
"Mama, it tickles!" Little Mandy giggled.
"Sorry, baby, I have to wash your feet. We can't have the rest of you be all squeaky clean and let you walk around with dirty feet, that just doesn't make good sense. Give me the other one, I'll be super quick." Olivia smiled.
When Little Mandy was clean, Mama let her play in the water for a few extra minutes, then she drained the water and guided Little Mandy out of the tub, wrapping her in a soft, fluffy towel. She picked her up and carried Little Mandy to her bedroom where she gently laid her on the bed, thoroughly dried her off, and changed her into a diaper.
"Okay, time for clothes. Do you want to wear your blue Cinderella t-shirt or your pink Minnie Mouse t-shirt?"
"Can I wear the yellow one with the big sunflower?"
"That one is in the laundry, baby. Remember, you got paint all over it." Olivia reminded her.
"Oh, yeah. I'll wear Minnie Mouse." Little Mandy decided.
"Good girl. Arms up." Olivia instructed, popping the t-shirt over Little Mandy's head.
"Can we go to the playground now?" Little Mandy asked hopefully when she was dressed.
"Almost. You can't go to the playground with wet hair, so let's go dry your hair." Olivia picked Little Mandy up and carried her back to the bathroom in search of the hair dryer.
"But it'll hurt!" Little Mandy pouted. She didn't like having her hair brushed to get the tangles out.
"I'll be super gentle, baby, I promise." Olivia kissed Little Mandy's temple and, true to her word, brushed her hair as gently as she could.
Little Mandy chattered innocently about all the things little girls love to talk about as Mama loaded her in the car and drove to the playground. Mama sat down on a park bench and gently smoothed sunscreen on Little Mandy's delicate skin, then sent her off to play with an affectionate spank to her bottom. Since it was the middle of the week, there were only a few other little ones running about.
"Which one is yours?" A woman who had just sent her own little one off to play joined Olivia sitting on the bench.
"The blonde in the sandbox." Olivia pointed.
"Oh, it looks like my Timmy has taken a liking to her."
They watched as a little boy climbed into the sandbox with Little Mandy. Olivia smiled proudly as Little Mandy offered him a few of the sandbox toys and the two little ones played together happily for a while. When Timmy got bored with the sandbox, he wandered off to find something else to amuse himself with. Little Mandy got out of the sandbox and ran over to the bench where Mama was sitting.
"Mama, I made a new friend and I shared the sandbox!" Little Mandy smiled proudly. She had gotten in trouble recently for not sharing the playground equipment with the other little ones.
"That's my good girl!" Olivia praised with a smile and gently kissed Little Mandy's forehead.
"Will you push me on the swing please?" Little Mandy asked hopefully.
"Sure, baby. Come here, you've got sand all over you." Olivia gently brushed the sand off of Little Mandy's diaper-covered bottom and took her over to the swings.
"Higher, Mama, higher!" Little Mandy giggled happily as Mama pushed her on the swing until she thought she was flying.
A little while later, Olivia was again sitting on a bench chatting with the other 'parents' when suddenly a loud wail rang out and everyone looked up to see whose little one was crying.
"She's one of mine." a man said.
"And mine." Olivia said, getting up from the bench.
"What happened, baby girl?" the man asked, scooping his little girl into his arms while Olivia scooped Little Mandy into her arms.
"She called me a bad word!" the little girl wailed, pointing at Little Mandy.
"She called me a bad word too!" Little Mandy wailed.
The two 'parents' made their little ones apologize to each other and then took them off in their separate directions to question them about exactly what had happened. Olivia sat down on a separate bench away from the small gathering of people, known fearfully by all the little ones in the community as 'the spanking bench', and settled Little Mandy on her lap to cuddle her.
"No, Mama, please! Please don't spank me in front of all the people!" Little Mandy sobbed.
"I'm not going to spank you in front of everyone, baby. I just want us to have a minute away from everyone to calm down and talk. Can you tell Mama what happened?" Olivia spoke kindly.
Little Mandy explained that the other little girl had wandered over to her and tried to take a toy out of her hand, which had made her angry and she called the other little girl a bad word, which in turn had made the other little girl angry and she called Little Mandy a bad word too.
"I'm sorry, Mama. I didn't mean it, I was just mad at her."
"I know, little one, but do you remember earlier today when Mama talked to you about using naughty words?"
"You said I'm smart and I don't need to use naughty words." Little Mandy said, thinking about what Mama had said. A thought suddenly occurred to her and she looked at Mama with fresh tears in her deep blue eyes.
"Please don't give me soap, Mama!" Little Mandy pleaded fearfully.
"I'm sorry, sweetie, but I'm afraid when we get home you are going to get a spanking and a soaping. I let you off earlier today because you were very upset, but you need to learn to mind your tongue even when someone upsets you." Olivia explained.
"But I told her I'm sorry!" Little Mandy's lower lip trembled.
"I know you did, baby, and I'm very proud of you for apologizing to her like a good girl, but I would be a very bad Mama if I let you off for the same naughty behavior twice in one day. Let's go home, we'll get your punishment over with as fast as we can and then I think Mama just might have a special surprise for you."
"Do I still get the surprise even if I cry?" Little Mandy sniffled, wiping her eyes.
"Of course you do, little one. It's okay to cry and be sad about being punished, it isn't any fun, and Mama doesn't like it any more than you do."
"If I take my spanking like a big girl, do I have to have soap? I'll even take Mr. Spoon." Little Mandy tried to bargain.
"No, baby, you're going to get a spanking and a soaping." Olivia said as they walked to the car.
"Oh. Do we have to wake up Mr. Spoon?" Little Mandy asked, suddenly wondering if she had just talked her way into a spanking with the spoon.
"No, not this time." Olivia told her.
"Maybe I could just have a time-out instead?" Little Mandy asked hopefully.
"No, baby."
"Maybe we could-"
"Mandy, no more arguing with Mama or the surprise goes away." Olivia warned as she buckled Little Mandy into the car.
"I'm sorry, Mama. I just don't like it." Little Mandy hung her head sadly.
"I know you don't like it, sweetheart. I don't expect you to like it, but you know that Mama loves you very much and I won't hurt you, I just need you to be my brave girl." Olivia said kindly, gently kissing Little Mandy's forehead.
Little Mandy wasn't feeling particularly brave as she sat on her bed with Erica clutched in her arms while she waited for Mama to come into her room. The door opened and Mama walked in, and Little Mandy breathed a sigh of relief she didn't even realize she'd been holding when she saw that Mama was indeed empty-handed, there would be no wooden spoon punishing her poor bottom today.
"I will never understand how you manage to get so much sand in your shoes every single time we go to the playground." Mama teased, sitting down next to Little Mandy on the bed.
"I'm a sand magnet, that's what you always say." Little Mandy giggled.
"That's right. Do you understand why you're being punished, lovey?"
"Yes, Mama. Because I was saying bad words again after you already told me not to."
Olivia pulled down Little Mandy's pants and diaper and guided the already whimpering little one over her lap. Little Mandy laid over Mama's lap and squeezed her eyes closed in anticipation of the familiar sting she knew was coming.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Owwwwwwwww!" Little Mandy whimpered as Mama's right hand punished her naughty bottom.
It seemed to go on forever and before long, Little Mandy was lying limp over Mama's lap sobbing, trying with all her might to keep herself from reaching back to cover her poor bottom and assuring Mama that she would never, ever use another naughty word again. She didn't even realize it was over. Being as feather gentle as possible, Olivia rubbed arnica on Little Mandy's cherry red bottom and Little Mandy finally realized she was no longer being spanked.
"M-Mama… p-pleeeeeeeeeeeease… I-I'm so s-s-so-sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyy! I-I n-not do i-it a-again! I-I p-pro-promise! I s-s-sorry! I-I b-be g-good g-girl!" Little Mandy sobbed.
"There, there. You are a good girl, little one. Mama's so proud of you for being so brave for your spanking." Olivia cooed lovingly, still rubbing Little Mandy's bottom to soothe the pain.
When Little Mandy had calmed a little, Olivia picked her up and held Little Mandy in her arms as she carried her into the bathroom. Little Mandy started to cry harder again.
"Mama, p-pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease…" Little Mandy choked on a sob.
"I promise we're almost done, sweetie. Can you be my brave girl for just a few more minutes? As soon as we're done, I promise you can rinse your mouth. Only two little minutes, then you can rinse."
"Will you hold my hand?" Little Mandy whimpered sadly.
"Of course I will, angel." Olivia promised.
Little Mandy squeezed her tear-filled eyes closed and squealed in disgust as Mama swiped the soapy cloth across her tongue several times. As promised, Mama held her hand and comforted her for the entire two minutes she held the soap on her tongue, then Mama filled a cup and let her rinse her mouth with water several times. Little Mandy burst into fresh tears and reached her arms out for Mama to hold her.
"Mama, I be good girl!" Little Mandy wailed sadly as Mama immediately picked her up.
"Oh, precious, you're a very good girl. Mama loves you so much and I'm so proud of you. You took your punishment like a big girl and it's all forgiven now. There, there, that's my good girl." Olivia cooed lovingly as she carried Little Mandy to the big, comfy rocker and sat down to cuddle the crying little one on her lap.
Little Mandy sobbed for a while until her sobs finally died down to steady crying, then to mere sniffles and whimpers. Mama held her and soothed her the whole time, rocking slowly and gently rubbing her spanked bottom. Little Mandy snuggled deeper into Mama's loving arms and laid her head on Mama's shoulder, knowing full well just how much she was loved and that Mama would be there to cuddle and comfort her for as long as she wanted to be held. When she was completely calm, she still stayed cuddled in Mama's arms for a long while and ended up giggling happily as Mama tickled her belly.
"Uh-oh, I think Mama found a belly button." Olivia teased.
"Do I still get my surprise, Mama?" Little Mandy asked through her giggles.
"Of course you do, baby. Just as soon as the Mama monster is done tickling you." Olivia teased.
"Mama, no more tickles!" Little Mandy squealed after a while, panting slightly.
"Okay, time to calm down. Good girl." Olivia smiled, gently rubbing Little Mandy's belly rather than tickling it.
Her sore bottom pretty much forgotten, Little Mandy smiled happily as Mama carried her into the kitchen and put her down on her feet.
"Hop up here, baby." Olivia placed a chair by the kitchen counter and Little Mandy climbed up to kneel on the chair, bursting with excitement wondering what Mama's surprise was as she watched Mama bring a variety of ingredients to the counter, including ice cream and bananas.
"Banana splits!" Little Mandy beamed.
"That's right. Are we using three different kinds of ice cream or just one kind?" Olivia gave Little Mandy the choice.
"Three kinds! And we need chocolate syrup! Do we have cherries and nuts?" Little Mandy asked excitedly.
"Yes, we have all of that. We're having backwards dinner tonight, so we'll have banana splits first and then we're having chicken stir-fry."
"Yay!" Little Mandy cheered happily. She loved it when they had backwards dinner.
As usual, Little Mandy pouted at the vegetables on her plate, but her bottom was still a little tender so she ate them without making a fuss, especially since Mama had been nice enough to let her eat her dessert first.
"Liv?" Amanda looked up at Olivia while they cuddled on the couch after dinner, speaking in her 'big girl' form.
"Hi, baby." Olivia smiled, kissing Amanda's lips.
"Thanks for coming home early today."
"I will always be here for you when you need me, baby. I love you."
"I love you too."