Chapter 1: Waking Up

Shepard, come on you have to get up now.

She opened her eyes and quickly sat up. Her skin burned and every bone in her body ached as she moved. A metallic taste filled her mouth and she grimaced, but disappointment of not seeing him stood there with her hurt more than any physical pain she was feeling. His voice had been so clear in her mind, almost as if he was right there whispering in her ear.

Carefully she moved her head to look around. Trying to remember what happened. Rubble everywhere. Where am I? she wondered.

The Crucible. Only her and Anderson had made it there alive. No… not just them. The Illusive Man. She had killed him. And then… And then… She sighed in frustration. She couldn't remember.

"A-Anderson," she managed to say. The metallic taste pooled in her mouth. "A-Anderson," she said again, almost pleading for a response. Memories flashed through her mind. Watching the reapers in the sky. Waiting for the Crucible to fire, waiting for the war to end. Anderson telling her he was proud of everything she had managed to do. And then… And then… No. She couldn't be alone. If she was alone that was it, she wasn't strong enough. "Please. I can't… can't do this alone."

Now that doesn't sound like my girl, she heard the voice again. My girl would fight to see another day, alone or not. My girl always finds a way back.

"You're not real. You can't be real. If it's really you I f-failed. I didn't get the evac intime. I shouldn't have taken you into the field this time." Shepard coughed, stopping her speaking. She felt the sticky warm liquid leave her mouth onto her lips. "If it's really you here I k-killed you… G-Garrus I'm sorry," she managed to get the last words out, tears forming in her eyes, even the thought of the voice being his spirit and not a hallucination broke her heart. I'm waiting for you Shepard. Believe that. I need you to believe that. There's no Vakarian without Shepard. Now please do something. Shepard knew what she needed to do. She needed to find medi-gel. If she didn't find some she was going to be dead in a matter of hours. Her hands instinctively went to her armour where she kept it but it was no longer there. Destroyed. She knew she needed to get to Anderson and just hope that he had medi-gel with him.

Slowly she tried to stand but the second she put weight on her right leg she fell back down. It was broken, too badly for even adrenalin to help her walk on it. Her arms were burnt too badly for her to army crawl, which would be hard enough across rubble even if her arms weren't burnt.

Biotics Shepard. Use your biotics. She looked down at her arms in doubt. How could her implant have survived? Garrus had far too much faith in her, if it even was Garrus, and not her losing her mind. Commander Shepard, you are a vanguard. Now pretend there's a Banshee trying to kill us over there and use your biotics to charge. You'll have to forgive the insubordination, again, but that is an order. Shepard nodded. Slowly she looked around trying to find Anderson's body. Once she locked eyes on him she focused all her energy into waking her implant, aiming just in front of where Anderson lay, hoping with everything she had that this would work. Her hands started to glow, there was hope. She could do this. That's my girl, she heard before flying through the air.

Everything went black.

###

"Get yourselves in the trap door now. There's someone breaking in, and if they're alien I can't protect you both."

Sleepily Shepard listened to her father shouting as she was pulled from her bed. "We stayed on Earth to avoid this," Her mum shouted back, waking her fully from her sleep.

"Mama," she said groggily.

"Hush now sweetie, it's going to be okay."

"There's a war going on. We don't know if those damn Turians would bother coming here or sticking to those colonies up in space. And I'm not risking your lives, get in the damned trap door now."

"Mama," Shepard whined. Her mother stroked her hair in an attempt to sooth her. She ran down the stairs as quickly as possible. She put her daughter down on the kitchen floor as she pulled back the rug. Quickly she threw open the trapdoor before going back to scoop up Shepard.

"Baby, you need to wait in here and keep quiet. No matter what happens you need to stay quiet. Do you understand?" The fear in her mother's voice scared Shepard. Tears filled the eyes of the three-year-old, but she nodded. "Good, baby." Her mother dropped her in through the door and shut it behind her. The light from the cracks disappeared as her mother covered it back over with the rug.

She walked along the bottom of the house, following the sound of her mother's footsteps. She couldn't understand what her parents were saying to each other anymore, but she could see them through the cracks. She knew enough to know they were fighting. Tears fell onto her cheeks as she watched.

Eventually someone came into the house. They weren't alien like her father had said. They were human. They had guns and were pointing them at her parents. She held her breath, as best as a three-year-old could, trying to be a good girl and not make a sound. She listened.

"They're going to come here eventually, and everyone needs to prepare. It's going to be every man for himself, and we need somewhere to stay when they do come. We like it here so we're going to take it." Two gunshots went off and Shepard watched her parents fall to the ground. But she was a good girl, she wasn't going to make a sound.