"Oof" Claire landed flat on her back.
In tears.
In pain.
Alone.
She was still a moment, staring at the back of her eyelids. Slowly she sat up, and promptly vomited. Claire wiped her mouth and closed her eyes as the dizziness overwhelmed her and she lay back down.
Somewhat later Claire stood up, wiping her mouth and looked around...definitely not where she came from, no Jamie, no sounds of war starting. She started walking down the hill and saw the road. An ugly blacktop that covered the ground. She made it out the road, picked her direction and started walking.
And crying.
Get it together Beauchamp. You're doing this for the baby. Focus on the plan to have this baby.
After what felt like miles and many reminders of why she was here instead of tending to the wounded at Culloden Moor she hears an automobile motor and freezes.
Slowly she turns and looks at the car, the driver of which stops, gets out and stares at her.
"What year is it?" Claire asks the driver.
"What?" He turns his head sideways and looks at her.
"What year is it?" Claire asks as loud as her painful head allows.
"1948. Are you okay?"
Claire sits on the road and starts crying. Thick heavy sobs that tug at the little energy she had left. Jamie is gone from her. She knew it of course by the road, but a confirmation is so harsh.
The driver managed to get her up and in the car. When his question of where he could take her went unanswered, he drove her to the hospital. Claire managed to thank him and got out of the car by herself. She thought about the tiny bit of Jamie and herself growing inside her and went into the hospital to get checked out.
"You're about 2 months pregnant." The doctor is telling her. "Did you know?"
Claire sighed with relief, the baby made it through the stones, thank God.
The Doctor was still talking. "How can I reach your husband?" She stares at him, then he nodded at the ring on her left hand. Claire thought that only Mrs. Graham would understand and gave the information to reach her at the manse. Nurse Drever leaves to contact Mrs. Graham.
"I want to keep you for a day or two." The Doctor is looking at her so Claire nods. That works out actually she needs time to get a plan together. This whole time she is thinking about life with Frank in this time and she doesn't want to be here. Her family is at Lallybroch- Jenny, Ian, their children. Our family she thinks as she put a hand to her middle. I'm going back. We're going back, I just have to get the details together. She smiled at the empty doorway after the Doctor left. She'd been advised to rest but she saw the paper and pen beside the bed and started getting a plan together.
-An hour later-
"Ye have a visitor." Nurse Drever led someone through the hospital room door. Claire saw Mrs. Graham smile at her.
"Ye need to stay put." The nurse got to her bed just as Claire was getting one foot to the floor.
"Okay, okay." Claire put her foot back under the blanket just as Mrs. Graham settled in the only chair. Nurse Drever smiled and left the room.
"Thank goodness you got the phone call from the doctor, I was worried the Reverend would get it and call Frank."
At this Mrs. Graham looked at the floor and seemed confused, "I'm sorry dear, the Reverend did get the call. Ye have but to wait a day and a half before your husband gets here."
Claire sat up straighter in the bed, "That's fine, let me tell you what happened and I will tell you my plan."
Mrs. Graham was an attentive audience and asked all the right questions while Claire told the story of what happened. How she fell through the stones, her adventures, and especially Jamie.
"Oh Claire, what are ye going to do?"
"Mrs. Graham,-"
"O dear, call me Violet."
"Thank you, that's such a nice name, Violet." Claire sighs and smiles looking directly at her, "I'm going back." Claire proceeds to tell Violet the plan she has so far.
Two hours later Mrs. Violet Graham left the hospital with a new to-do list smiling to herself at the energy of young people.
-1 week later-
"I can't believe you really want a divorce. I thought when things settled down you would come back to me." Frank didn't know what he felt...anger...relief?
Claire sat down and sighed, "Frank, whether you believe me or not about traveling through the stones I am pregnant and I do love another man. You deserve the freedom to find someone who loves you like I used too." Claire needed the divorce, scandal or not.
"But don't anymore?" Frank looked very angry.
"A part of me will always love you, just not like I used too and not like you deserve. All I ask is to have whatever money is left from Uncle Lamb."
Frank opened his wallet and tossed money at her. "Take what you want, but give me another chance. We have a marriage, we had a life together, and you are pregnant. Can you throw it out so simply?" He was pacing now.
"You don't understand, I lived with another man as husband and wife for 3 years Frank. I love him." It sounded cruel, but Claire had to make him see they were no longer suitable.
Frank stormed out yelling "Fine, break up our family!"
Claire was sorry for hurting him, but firmly believed it was in his best interest to get divorced. The scandal would die down, then Frank would have his freedom. Freedom to forget her and move on to someone else who would be better for him. Claire thought about the days before she went through the stones and how he was a good husband. He should have the chance to give that to someone who loved him.
After another week Frank did file for divorce. It took a lot of talking, a lot of Claire tapping down her nature to heal and protect him from physical harm. She had loved him and she still cared for him and respected Frank.
Two weeks later Claire is having their weekly tea with Mrs. Graham while the Reverend is out.
"I got the papers this morning, you are having tea with a woman who will be divorced soon." Claire smiles.
"I know dear, it was actually in the local paper. 'Mr. Frank Randall divorces the pregnant fairy woman' psh " Mrs. Graham shook her head at the title.
"I wish I could lose that name, fairy woman. I tried to leave the hotel but no one will rent to the fairy woman." Claire looks down, angry and embarrassed.
Roger runs into the kitchen and asks for a cookie which Claire gives him. "He is so sweet."
"Aye, when he wants something." Violet ruffles his hair and shoos him out of the kitchen.
"Will you reconsider moving in here?" As Claire starts to shake her head Violet rushes on, "Frank left again 3 days ago and is not planning to return anytime soon."
"The hotel is fine, really, it suits me." Claire reassured the older woman. "It's a block from the grocery store and 2 blocks from the hospital. I did get the job so I will be a part time nurse at the hospital and the walk does me good." Never mind that living in a hotel seems a little... unsavory. Claire put her cup down and looked at the clock.
"Speaking of which I need to go, I have a doctor's appointment."
"Please let me drive you."
Claire looked back at the clock then smiled at Violet and nodded. "Thank you, that would be helpful."
-That same day at the appointment-
"TWINS?!"
"Mrs. Randall please lower your voice. I suspect twins, this is why I requested ye bring your husband." The doctor was looking at her from across the desk like she was a child.
"It's Beauchamp thank you, I am getting divorced in case you didn't see today's paper."
"Yes, well…" The doctor mutters something then really looks at her, "Yes, Mrs. Beauchamp I strongly suspect twins. Ye are almost 3 months pregnant, we will need another month to be sure." He paused to let that sink in.
"I understand ye are working at the hospital?"
"Part time, yes" Claire's brain is starting to understand the word twins. Two of Jamie's babies instead of one. She smiles and hopes she really does have twins.
"I want ye to plan to stop work at 7 months. Everything looks perfectly fine but if I'm right and ye do have twins its a higher risk. Will ye stop working in four months?"
Thank you Uncle Lamb she thought, and not for the first time. "Yes, that won't be a problem. What about the miscarriage I had, will that make this birth dangerous?"
"No Mrs. Ran-Beauchamp, as long as you continue to take the supplements I prescribed." He shuffles his papers and stand up so she stands up and thanks him.
Claire walks slowly back to her hotel, stopping in the shops where she has become a regular. In the fabric and dress shop the clerk tells her of a new high quality wool they received and Claire purchased 32 yards. At the antique shop she was able to secure more 200 year old coins. She smiled to herself as the hotel came into view. She had time. She would be ready the next time she went through the stones. Claire got into her room and laid her bags on the table next to the sewing machine. She might have two babies. She smiled as she lay on the bed for a nap full of pleasant dreaming.
Claire finished reading the letter from Frank and put it down. A fresh start?! She would never go to Boston. She really shouldn't travel now anyway as she was 3 months pregnant and still had morning sickness that lasted till the afternoon. She couldn't imagine trying to get on a plane or even a boat as sick as she was now.
She knew what she was going to do, and leaving Scotland had no part in her plans. Claire wrote a nice letter back to Frank thanking him for being so nice but she hadn't changed her mind.
Claire was going to work for a while. Halloween was in about 5 months and that mean Samhain. It would be easier to go through the stones. She was going back. This time period just wasn't home. Lallybroch was her home, and Jenny and Ian were her family. Jamie's child -possibly children she corrected herself- would be raised in that time with their family. Claire had already bought many yards of wool and cotton, hundreds of seeds, and enough eighteen century money Jenny and Ian would be sure to take her in to live at Lallybroch. She had multiple books on order. Claire knew books were dangerous, the difference in how they looked would be obvious to anyone who saw them. She certainly didn't want to risk another witch trial, but the knowledge would be so helpful she was willing to take them.
Nurse Drever was ordering smallpox and DTP vaccines for her. Claire had told the other nurse she planned a trip to the remote Highlands and Claire's nurse status allowed her to administer these routine inoculations.
Claire had already amassed a leather satchel full of penicillin and aspirin. The other three would carry the vaccines, the books and money, the fabric, and food for the trip.
Four months passed quickly and quietly. Claire found out she did was pregnant with twins! She was ecstatic at the idea of two of Jamie's babies instead of one. Frank found out about her having twins and mailed her a nice card and a large check which she instantly thought to send back but reconsidered. She didn't need the money but thought it might help Frank to think he helped her. Claire wrote him a nice long thank you note and told him about working and seeing Violet. She told him his money would go toward clothes for the babies and thanked him. Claire bought much more material than originally planned.
The divorce came through which made Claire happy and sad at the same time. Jamie would be gone and she'd pushed Frank away. Claire didn't regret it but there was a loneliness that work couldn't fill.
Claire continued to work part time at the hospital and was very friendly with the other nurses and patients but kept to herself. She shopped often looking for those specific items she could take back with her. Claire sewed almost daily, always grateful for the used sewing machine she had purchased. She also learned to knit and managed a few small pairs of booties and a couple pairs of socks. Claire and Mrs. Graham had a weekly tea, but Claire tried to avoid the Reverend as Claire knew he didn't approve of her.
Claire got up and finished getting ready. Violet was picking her up today and taking a few pictures of her. She wanted to remember this time of waiting and planning and had already filled 2 journals. Should she bring a pen...hmm? Maybe.
Claire got up and like most days thought about Jamie, then food. She looked at the remainder of the cake she had brought home from the hospital yesterday. She'd been there such a short time but her co-workers were so nice to her giving her a small good luck and goodbye party.
Okay, only 1 piece.
Three pieces of cake and two glasses of milk later she settles down to sew more baby clothes and the hours run away from her.
Violet picks her up for their weekly tea date.
"What will you miss?" Violet is driving Claire back to the manse.
"Hot showers, flush toilets, restaurants" Claire is readjusting herself to try to get comfortable in the vehicle.
"Are you getting things done that you need to, or do you need help?"
Claire looked over at her and felt blessed to have a friend for about the hundredth time. "I'm doing okay. If I get any bigger I think I will burst." She pats her 7 month bulge that is 2 babies.
Violet unlocked the door of the manse and turned on the light. Claire followed her.
"Surprise!"
"Jesus H-oops, sorry" Claire blushed as she looked around the room at the group of women from infants to elderly and looked at Violet.
"These are my sister druids." She explained. Claire had given permission for Violet to share most everything with these women about her story but she had never met anyone.
One woman came forward and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Sarah, and we are very happy to celebrate with ye. Alice was in England last year," She nodded to another woman who smiled at her. " and went to a baby shower so we thought we would have one."
Alice took up the story. "Yours is special though, we have gifts for you but only things that would be around 200 years ago."
Claire looked around and saw the food, gifts, and happy women.
"Thank you, I appreciate this so-" But had to stop because of the tears forming in her eyes . Damn hormones!
"Dinna fash." Alice smiled and patted her on the back. Claire was so used to being around nurses that regular women were a novel and happy experience.
The party was fun and the other women were so kind. Claire cursed her hormones often because of tears welling up.
Claire said her goodbye to Alice and got hugged. She looked at Violet, "Everyone was so nice and the gifts are amazing." She held up a knitted blanket that was as tall as she was, "How long does it take to make something like this?"
Violet just smiled," It's better if you don't know dear."
Violet and little Roger helped her load the gifts into the car and then into her hotel room.
"Would you please get stamps, I don't have any left." Claire asked Violet as the older woman was looking around her hotel room in awe. She looked at the money Claire was trying to hand her and instead reached for her bag and rummaged in it.
"How many do ye need?"
"Enough for all those thank you cards I need to write." Claire smiled thinking of those kind women.
"Will ye really be able to take all these things?" Violet handed her the stamps and looked around.
"I think so," Claire hesitated looking at Roger
"It's okay dear, he is in his own little world." Violet motioned to Roger playing with his cars.
"I think it will be fine." Claire looked around the room also. "I made an extra leather bag to put everything in. After I go through I will stash the bags and walk to Inverness to buy a mule. The mule will carry everything."
Violet nodded, handing her the stamps.
The last few weeks pass quietly and quickly. Claire got thank you cards made and at the following week's tea gave them to Mrs. Graham with the stamps as Claire didn't have addresses. Claire has some more pictures printed and started packing her bags. Claire was seeing her doctor every week to be sure everything is fine. She also gets a lot of the supplement pills as it might help other women who had the same issue she did with Faith. She thought about anything else from this century that might benefit her children and starts accumulating paper, motion sickness pills (just in case), a few primary books, etc.
Claire spends most of her time sewing, and working on her knitting. She borrowed books from the hospital library to read and Claire returned them. The leather bags get packed and unpacked several times trying to find the best way to make sure nothing breaks and as it happened another bag was needed bringing her total to six. Claire is still shopping, picking up eighteenth century money and small pieces of plain silver that could be exchanged for money. Frank sends her all of her personal things which surprisingly fit in 2 medium boxes. She decides to take all the jewelry and asks Violet to keep a few small sentimental things.
Claire called Mrs Graham late the night before the day she is to travel back trough the stones to confirm the early time for pickup. That night Claire could hardly sleep, tomorrow she was going home! Finally, her 5 am alarm goes off and Claire gets up and gets ready. She takes a nice long shower to enjoy it for what was likely her last. She puts on one of the dresses she made for herself and eats a pastry she'd bought for her last 1948 breakfast.
"I'm so sorry dear," Violet pulls up as the sun is just peeking out and jumps out of the car. "Wee Roger was having a meltdown-"
Clair cuts her off, "It's fine, really." Claire smiles at the woman who was her friend. "Please help me load up these bags then I have to check out of the hotel."