HORACE KNIGHTLEY ESCAPS FROM PRISONNNNNO… not
***WARNING this is what actually happens in ace attorney investigitions 2 the game doesnt tell u that but its true trust me. this is not a fanfic totally not inspired by ballstic dolphin at all if u think it is or if u copy I will send evil icr cream man to ur house and have him feed u delicious ice cream… and then kill u YUO HAVE BEEN WARNED***
Horace knightely sat in his jail cell all alone nd sad n shit bc he cant shoot anyone. he was very bored and deperssed. sudeonly, he had a clever idea
"haha i got it" knightley thought to himself "if i can distract guard and then kick his butt I can escap from this pris******n!" (censored for copyright reasons)
Then knightley got up and yelled at guard
"yo guard u wanna play som chess?"
"no i don't have time for that" said guard
"ok i see ur probably 2 dumb for chess anyways lmao"
"hey… you take that back YOU SON OF A BTICH" and the guard angrily walked into his cell "fine ill show you you fuckin bastard les play"
"ok ok dont sith a brick" siad knighley
then they began to play
"hey guard i dont think i can play properly" whined knighlye "can u untie these cuffs so my hands dont hurt"
"sure" said guard
and as the guard was finishing unlocking cuffs, knightley was about to attack, but then
out of nowhere
under the bed
it was
JAY ELBIIIIIIIRD
and he KNOCKED out guard
Knightlye was happy to see him "yo whatup my homie g"
"my name is j not g" said g
"more like gay lol"
and then gel bird knocked out knightley
"no u" he said and took off the guard's clothes to disguise
as he was about to walk out, an animal jumped him. it was his pet bear ROOOOOOCKYYYYY! (rocky theme plays)
"yo adrian!" said the bear
"wtf did u just talk" said jay
"rawr" roar
but then it only got worse because the gate to prison opened and it was PATRICIA ROLAND with her husband RICK ROLAND
"ok sweetie i need to go to work now" said pat
"but honey… im never gonna give you up" said rick (HAHA YOU JUST GOT RICK ROLLD GET REKT SRUB)
"stfu fuck off die"
then rick cried and said goobdye
"wtf" said elbrid "wait shit i cant escape just yet they'll see me! quick hide, rocky"
and then he hid rocky and the crime scene and took the clothes and pretended to be prisoner
for now
LATER
knightly woke up in his cell in head pain
"ow wtf happened man" said knightly
"so yuore finally awake" said a mysterious blurry man
"wtf is this elders roll skyrim?"
knightley opened and squinted his eyes to look and he recognized the guy it was his childhood friend SIMON (the keys simon not the emo one with the black quills)
"ay yo dawg simon g skillet what brings you here?"
"bro i came to give u this im very sorry youre in prison dude. also its keys not g" then keyes gave him a weird chess box
"ok bee gees lol" laughed lightning
"haha i could never be as clever and funy as u ever haha anyways i gtg now see you… in hell… mothe*fuck*r…" but keyes whispered the hell nd mf parts so knightely didnt hear (i dont like cussing so i had to censor motherfucker hope u understand)
"thanks homie talk to u later" said knightling "…man what a great guy" he thought to himself
later
"MR KNIGHTLEY THE WARDEN WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU" said thet guard
"uuhhhh ok then" said knighelyt and then he was escorted to the interragion room
inside the room was pat roll and she was ANGRY
"I KNOW YOU'RE WORKING FOR HIM" she siad
"who tf you talking about" saud knightley
"SIRIHAN DOGEN"
"who tf is that"
"yuo were PLAYING MAIL CHESS WITH HIM" and she showed him envelope
"ohhhh yeah lol"
knightley was confused "ok so im playing chess with him so what"
"then how do you explain this?!" and then pat pulled out a BLOODY CHISEL WITH BELL FROM THE CHESSBOARD
"idk how do i lol"
"you think im FUCK*N AROUND M*THEFUCK*R?!"
"u trippin dawg i aint know what dat is"
"did u say… DOG?" said pat and now she is going crazy because siri dogens name has dog in it and she hates dogs
And then
SHE
STABBED
KNIGHTLEY
WITH
THE FUCKIN CHISEL (i put cuss in this one because its serious)
AND
KNIGHTLEY
DIED
Patricira was now scared
"oh shit what i have done?!" she panicked for an hour but then "wait a minute i can use this to frame the circus joker guy since nobody likes clowns! ill even have that edgeworht guy prosecute him since hes so good!"
then she walked away to office to make phone call while bee gees stayin alive played in the background (great song btw)
MEANWHILE in the next door dogen heard this because hes blind like tpho from avater so his hearing super shar[
"oh shirt" said doge calmly "this is not good. anubis FETCH THAT CHISEL" (A/N he actually said shit but i edit it for family friendly)
"woof woof" barked the noob and he ran and stole the CHISLE
And then the next day, edgewedge arrived to begin his second ace attorney investigation
"im going to get to the botom of this" said edge and his heroic theme song started playing "no matter what it takes! i will find the TRUUUUUUUUUTH
THE END