He didn't make it… he didn't survive and I had every chance to come out winning. But it didn't happen that way.

The despair I had awaited wasn't even there. My hand trembled over the voting button as I watched my own face on the small screen, and the name surrounded by confetti:

Shuichi Saihara has been found guilty. Time for punishment.

I didn't dare raise my face, but I could hear the overwhelming silence from those who had been my friends… "been", because they definitely wouldn't be any longer. Who would want to be friends with someone as sick as me?

I held myself with such force, I could feel my nails through my clothes. It was what I'd wanted. It was what I told him I'd wanted. Yet I didn't feel that one emotion I had waited for. That glorified despair I'd seen so much in the original games. There were other, different feelings hugging me from behind my back and making me shiver uncontrollably:

Fear. Loneliness. Grief.

"It was an accident..."

My voice was too low, too tardy. My cheeks were wet from tears, yet also hurting from the tense smile that hadn't abandoned my face since the moment of my confession.

"I didn't intend for him to die..."

But what excuse could I give now? I did it. I did horrible things that not even I thought myself capable of doing. I had fallen under the pressure of discovering my "real self" and under a sense of responsibility that I now found totally illogical. I thought despair was something good! Something desirable! And I'm… I'm not even feeling it? Does that mean it was all in vain?

"Upupupu~ It's punishment time."

A thick metallic collar closed around my neck and I finally dared to raise my eyes to everyone present. Their looks of horror and disappointment weighed heavier than the chain yanking me by the neck.

"It was an accident! I didn't mean to kill Ouma-kUGH…!"

The harsh tug finally made me fall back, and I felt my body being dragged like a ragdoll. Everything moved so fast that vertigo forced me to close my eyes for a moment, but by the time I opened them again, I no longer saw anyone, only darkness.

Had it started already…? Yes, surely. I had a firm floor under my feet, so I was able to stand up. While my eyes grew accustomed to the darkness I approached what seemed to be a window, but as I saw someone imitating my movements from the other side I realized it was a mirror.

No… it couldn't be a mirror. That was me but at the same time it… wasn't. There was red paint on my face there, simulating Monokuma's red eye, my clothes weren't the usual and… most of all, I couldn't recognize my own expression. As I placed my hand on the glass surface, the other me quit "imitating" me and just walked away, into the strangely familiar room on that side. It was a bedroom full of figures and posters, but I had no time to examine it in detail, as "I" had begun drawing something on a piece of paper.

I leaned in so close that my forehead was pressed into the glass and I could peer at what he was drawing. Was it the draft of a comic? An explanatory diagram? It looked to be a very basic drawing of a stickman trapped in a box, while a bichromatic bear looked inside through a magnifying glass. Further down were doodled some bottles and lines I couldn't quite make out.

The light that suddenly shone from the ceiling blinded me and I had to cover my face with my hand. Between my fingers, I was able to see a giant Monokuma peering over the edge of the room. Terror froze my body and I was unable to do anything as he searched for me with a great magnifying glass, until my eyes met the eye augmented by the crystal and horror finally allowed me to move.

I ran, trying to flee but not having anywhere to go. I banged on the mirror, but the version of me on that side just imitated my gestures like a true reflection, though laughing mockingly. Did he enjoy seeing this? Would I have enjoyed it, at any point? I knew this was the punishment I deserved but I couldn't help trying to escape, trying to survive.

A great shadow covered me, so I dared to look up again. Monokuma was bringing an antique dropper over my head. His paw pressed the rubber pear-shaped container, letting one large drop fall towards me. I immediately ran, pulling away from the mirror in time to avoid the first impact, so disproportionate that when it hit the floor, it was like an entire bucket of water that splashed around and wet my shoes. The strong smell burned my throat and made my eyes water.

It wasn't water!

I ran to the other side, as far as the restricted space would let me go, but the next drop was following me along with the magnifying glass. Though I was able to dodge the attacks, the poison was accumulating in puddles that made me slip and the fumes weren't letting me breathe through my nose. I couldn't even open my eyes anymore, the burning and the tears wouldn't let me, as much as I tried to cover my mouth and breathe through the fabric of my sleeve.

Finally a drop hit me, soaking my head and falling over my face. I opened my mouth to scream, but a strong cough drowned out my voice and I fell on my hands and knees. The world was drifting away and the metallic taste of blood was filling my mouth.

The last thing I felt was my cheek falling against the wet, cold floor and the cheering of hundreds of people, who had been watching without my knowledge.