Naruto is owned by Kishimoto

The OC's are mine

A lot of stories start with once upon a time or in a land far far away. This story will start with pain and lots of blood.

Life began as normal. Wake up, shower, brush teeth, eat breakfast, sit and stare at a wall, ponder if my life has meaning, and look for a job. Already done with the other tasks I got dressed, pocketed my phone, and went outside, and began to walk to the grocery store because I heard they had a job opening.

It wasn't even 20 minutes later when a truck swerved and hit me quicker than a Hispanic mom hitting her kids with a chancla. I was sent flying and smashed into a tree which unluckily I was still alive. I was upset about still being alive because of the massive amount of pain I was in, so I slowly bleed out while the sounds of crashing cars and people screaming faded away. Then I was dead. Then I came back to "life".

I say "life" because I woke up in a black void without a body and damn was that a sight to see. A terrifying sight of an empty nothingness but also strangely peaceful. No loud sounds, no pain, and hey no bathroom breaks because I won't ever need to go again. Then the boredom quickly set in and I began to hate the afterlife

I was then saved by a god. I wanna say I was lucky to meet the guy who saved me from boredom, but then again the guy screwed me over big time, you will see what I mean soon enough. Now let's see how I was saved.

'Internal journal number 69... Ha nice. God, I'm so bored…. I wonder if I can go insane then become sane again. Then again I could also reach enlightenment if I meditate, maybe that's how I get out of here. End Internal jo-'

I was interrupted from my thoughts when I heard a voice

"Hey man sorry I'm late, I was kinda busy" I slowly turn to see a… blob?

Well, it's more like a white flame that sounds like a stoner for some reason. Please don't be a real stoner and be high and screw up my chance to a better place in the afterlife.

"Hey! I've only smoked a little bit today. Lotta those souls are grumpy and I do not vibe with that dude" Wow I think I'm meeting an actual stereotype. One that can read my mind as well it seems

"Bro you gotta chillax I'm here to help you pass on or reincarnate if you want"

'I wanna reincarnate!' I quickly thought out? I don't have a mouth anymore and he can read minds. Could I talk anymore? I haven't tried, I think.

"I might have been too late if he's monologuing to himself" the stoner voice muttered to himself "Alright man listen you've read reincarnation fanfics or stories before?"

'Yeah, I have, OH am I gonna get three wishes!'

"Yeah it's what I do for everybody, but since I'm about 2 years late you get an extra wish, sorry about that man."

'...I will ignore that you left me here for that long because I want out of here, but first I have a question: Is choosing where I reincarnate count as a wish?'

"Nope, that is a free choice along with a system if you want it because too many souls wasted a wish on that and it gets boring granting the same wish"

'Well, that knocks out two things I want. Is it a gamer system?'

"It's similar to the gamer system, let's continue with your choices. First things first, where do you wanna go, dude."

'Uhhhh it's either Marvel or Naruto that I want. While Marvel is cool and all, I honestly don't wanna deal with the big baddies in that world and fight in large battles, but the same could be said for Naruto.' I ponder on what has the better ups and downs between the two. Then just said screw it and choose Naruto.

'Alright, I choose Naruto mostly because I wanna romance Hinata and the Villains seem easier to deal with.'

"So you plan on ruining the plot in Boruto by getting Naruto's girl?"

'I mean he doesn't realize her feelings for him for quite a long time so I might as well swoop in, you know? And the fact Boruto sucks. they shouldn't have made that anime'

"Eh it's your decision and going to that world is a rather cliche choice but if it's where you want to go" the sound of paper was faintly being moved 'Okay anything specific about that world you want?"

"Well, I would like to be born a year before the Konoha 9 so I can make some moves before certain things happen."

"Noted, anything else…. Whoa"

'What?"

"Huh oh uh nothing to worry about little dude so anything else?"

'Okay? And make me male I don't want to be a chick'

"Okay make.." whispers under breath

'Also send me to a small village outside the hidden leaf. I don't want Danzo getting his grubby hands on me while I'm weak. I plan on self-training and going to the leaf at age three anyway'

"Outside leaf…" a pencil could be heard writing on paper "Wait, self-training? Do you want to be an orphan?"

'Yep, I already had time to grieve because I lost my family once and I don't want to deal with worrying about a second family where getting killed or taken hostage is a natural thing to happen. Now for my wishes right?'

"Damn dude you got some dark thoughts. Better make some good wishes if you want to be alone."

'I got some ideas for good wishes. So number one I want Naruto-sized chakra reserves, number two I want the system to have a store function so I can buy skill books and other stuff when I grind for money in ID dungeons, I will get dungeons right?'

"Yep dungeons are part of the system, the store wasn't so that's a good wish and large chakra reserves will be hard to control "

'I have a good reason for a large amount of chakra, now wish number three I want the Thousand Demon Daggers sword from scissor seven, and the last wish is a custom Kekkei Genkai'

"A custom Kekkei Genkai? That's a new one….damn"

'You good?'

"Yeah, I might be a bit higher than I thought."

'...really?'

"Don't worry I got everything written down"

'What about my Kekkei Genkai?'

"I can get your system to scan your mind for the Kekkei Genkai you wanted to make it for you before your reborn and all that"

'And everything else I wanted is getting in, right?'

"Yep I just put everything I wrote down into the system and it will give you a backstory about who you are and stuff based on your wishes and the certain things you wanted."

'Does it ever mess up? Because I don't want to trust my life based on randomization and luck.'

"Don't worry, pretty much all users were happy with what they were given."

'Fine, I didn't have any idea on what to do for a backstory anyway. So that's everything I wanted. Go ahead and send me off… Wow I never got your name kind of rude of me'

"Don't worry about it just call me SG"

'SG?...That's short for Stoner God, isn't it? Yeah I'm gonna ignore that, send me on my way please'

"Got it, see ya little dude, oops I mean dudette "

Wait, isn't dudette slang for a woman?

Then I blacked out only to reawaken what feels like seconds later with the system screen in front of me

Name: Not Chosen

Sex: Female

Title:?

Age: 2 months old

Level: 1

"You stupid god! You turned me into a girl!"

? POV.

"Why do I hear a baby crying?"

Hello anyone who so happens to stumble across this. Yes, this is my first actual fanfic so please criticize as hard as you want. I know I need It.

Ps. I have nothing against people who smoke weed, The way the god is set up just makes for a good start.