8/10

Dear Diary,

It must sound silly. It's admittedly silly to write, especially now after everything that has happened over the last few months.

You don't know this, I did not have you until just last year, but-

At one point I was afraid of the dark.

What a naive fear, but one that I'm sure Ed and Em helped develop with their teasing.

Or was it them?

Ed and Em could be cruel, yes, but-

I am reminded of one night in particular tonight, and that is what I would like for you to hear.

It all started with a tiny abomination my father made for me- as training of course, so I could see how it was done… for the 100th time.

But instead of focus on the lesson, my young mind was at play. I chased them across the floor, as they snaked and slithered between furniture.

Then all at once the light was snatched away. The whole room fell dark and still. And I froze, hearing only the squishing sounds of that abomination as it still ran mindlessly. It was driven by something or someone in that dark.

Why in the dark does it seem like nothing is possible, that time stops without light?

Looking back, it seems silly to fear such a thing as the dark. At the time though I had not yet had a range for that emotion, or identified what caused me fear most of all-

"Mittens?~" Came the voice of my mother.

The dark seemed darker then. But when you are in the dark, always your eyes adjust, and you can still see.

Just a little.

And so I knew I needed something more-

"A light."

My mother's knowing voice came from behind me, and yet I saw no light from her presence. I knew somehow deep down she had been the one to plunge me into darkness to begin with, and would have me sit until-

"You are old enough, Little Mitten. A Blight can easily summon a light spell, even at this age."

I had opened my mouth to speak, but only a breath came and went from my lips.

A paradoxical feeling of wanting to show what I knew yet being completely frozen.

A huff came curtly from behind me, matching my own silence in a challenging way. But my mother would never be silent for long, "Alador, speak with your daughter." She had a resentful tone in her voice.

And my father?

"Amity." Another voice now came from the dark, the shadows of that old family home, it was soft yet imposing.

He never did say much, but maybe he didn't have to. After all, I took after him and perhaps always would. I had been told as much, over and over. I had been told what needed to be done, over and over. It made me numb to it, cold and sure. But somewhere deep down was a well of emotion, and it sprung to life in me in that dark.

The feeling was a desire, hard to explain even now-

Hope.

The feeling, it shook me enough to reach my hand out into that dark.

Even a child can master a light spell. I remember thinking, but also, I did not feel like much of a child back then. The children I knew seemed to be much different. Most were allowed to run and play without the expectation of the time being snatched away… or the light.

My palm turned upwards, as though cupping the dark, having it rest there- heavy in my hand.

Upward

Upward was where I was expected to go from that moment on.

It is always most difficult to begin. But there was no time to delay, to worry, or ponder. It would be decadent to question, and a moment's pause an unneeded luxury. There would be no rest for me in that dark, no progress

Did Ed and Em ever go through this too? Had their tricks secretly been preparing me for the dark? The thought came and went, and within my palm I felt something, an energy-

A Light

I closed my eyes tight, hoping that I could open them and only see the future. That everything would change, that the dark would change, and I could be met by-

TO BE CONTINUED