HER partnership began for Tonks—with a discovery. A discovery, and a knock of the sallow-faced man's door to his office, a place where, following her graduation from Hogwarts, she hoped never to set foot in again, but here she found herself, at Minister Shacklebolt's direct request, to work with the old bat on assignment, one of an admittedly heavier nature, involving children.
She and Kingsley required his expertise in Dark Magic. She'd have gone to her partner in the Order and alongside her in the Auror Office for this, Ollie, but the man was admittedly busy, caring for his newborn son, Rhys, Tonks's godson, alongside his wife, Norah.
Rhys was their first child, so naturally, his attention was rightfully fixated on his family.
She did not want to pull him away from his role as a new father.
And even if he wasn't busy tending to his wife and baby boy, Kingsley had expressly forbidden Ollie to join her on her latest assignment, which was to apprehend the man's own twin brother, Dominic, one of the few surviving Death Eaters.
And admittedly, one of the worst. The man was suspected of kidnapping children, babies, their bodies never found, presumed missing, but Tonks had a feeling she knew the truth. She recollected Ollie's screaming match with Shacklebolt in the man's office just last week, an argument that had very nearly cost the Legilimens and Auror his job when the wizards almost came to blows.
Tonks, as his best mate since their first year in Hogwarts, had been the one to calm the man down, by taking him to lunch and telling him that he had his family to look after now, and with Norah having at the time been due to give birth any day now, he could not leave her side.
Which, by default, left Tonks with no other alternatives but to seek out the only other Slytherin she knew and semi trusted to help.
The Potions Master. Her knock resounded, loud and impatient, within Professor Severus Snape's study—once, twice, three times.
Tonks rapped her knuckles on the old oak panel of the door until her knuckles nearly bled and her fingers had started to itch and burn, struggling to hold the reports Minister Shacklebolt had asked her to deliver in her arms, but he never came to open the door.
At first, the young twenty-six-year-old Auror was inclined to believe he was out, perhaps in a meeting with another professor, but then the door came open in her hand, sliding open with a loud, audible creak.
Tonks flinched, chewing on the wall of her mouth as grey eyes peered into the door and through the darkness, into his office.
Severus was not exactly a friendly bloke by nature, though ever since the truth came to light following Lord Voldemort's defeat, and how Severus had been Dumbledore man's from the moment Lily Potter's life was placed in jeopardy, the man's reputation was cleared.
Though his suspicions towards the rest of the wizarding community were well known.
Tonks highly doubted Snape was the type of chap to just…leave his door open unless he was inside his office, and he stayed there. She sighed.
And there he sat, looking not at all how Tonks had anticipated he would look.
She felt a twinge of something wrack her heartstrings, thinking that for a man only a few years older than her, around thirty-six or thirty-seven, around Remus's age, he looked…well, for lack of a better word: old.
Old, frail, and pale, hunched over his desk, nothing but bony shadows and shadow raven black hair in need of at least a bottle of shampoo, if not two, his pale skin as cold and bright as the full moon. She thought he needed sunlight. But he would argue that was the last thing he needed or wanted.
A quill sat perched in the man's slender fingers that shook slightly, delicate, spider-like, and dark, sliding across the parchment resting beneath his hand like spider silk.
The gesture made Tonks catch her breath for a moment, just a moment, a small, but humiliating slip up on her part. The man was every bit a greasy, slimy, and pitiful wanker.
A bastard, a git, any foul, awful name you could think of, he was supposed to be it, then. So why was it, she felt…pity for him?
Was it because of the man's feelings for Harry's mum? No. Tonks frowned, furrowing her brows, and shaking her head no at the ridiculous notion. No. Surely not.
Well, whatever the reason, Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin had little time to dwell on it as Severus continued writing, and Dora stayed silent. Tonks's frown deepened as she watched the man write, thinking Severus Snape was not a man to love.
Severus was meant for the rest of society to despise him, and perhaps the man preferred it that way. Snape was a snake, a worm, and every bit a Slytherin.
Though sometimes the rich blackness of the man's eyes would catch Tonks completely off guard.
The little sneer he would give her and bark at her to pay attention to whatever Shacklebolt was saying did strange things to her mind, now that she knew the truth about him.
But now, she was pissed. And rightfully so. The Potions Master was blatantly ignoring her now, and Tonks's anger welled in her chest, sending a spiraling heat through her blood and veins, hotter than any dragon fire.
Positively seething, the Auror tossed her shoulder-length dark pink tresses over her shoulder and clutched the stack of reports Kingsley had asked her to bring to him to her chest and called out to Snape, her voice shaking uncomfortably in the silence as shadows from the torches in the sconces on the wall cast odd shadows on the walls.
"Severus?" she breathed in a quiet voice, trying to be as polite as possible, though it was hard to control her anger.
It seemed as though Snape were blatantly ignoring her. He didn't even look up to acknowledge her presence.
Tonks half expected him to move to her like one of his students or even another teacher, telling her to just put the stack over there, without even looking at her or offering any modicum of respect.
But Snape, the wanker, couldn't even give her that much. Tonks gritted her teeth and narrowed her eyes in incense and anger.
Severus continued writing, ignoring the younger witch, with his hands, deft and nimble and expert, though Tonks was strangely drawn to the sad slope of his shoulders, sharp as folded wings beneath his black robes.
And then, Tonks was truly ticked, because he continued to ignore her like she was a student he hated. Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin was now the Head of the Auror Department to replace Shacklebolt when he took up the mantle of Minister of Magic.
By rights, he needed to look at her.
But he had eyes only for his bloody parchment and his precious quill that looked like a peacock feather.
And his eyes were only tuned in to the silence now. Her voice and his name on her lips made little difference.
In a rage, Tonks stalked up in front of his desk and threw the packet of manilla folders onto the man's mahogany desk, taking a sick, immense pleasure for a moment in the loud bang resonating in Snape's blessed silence.
Severus bolted in a panic at the loud disruption, stumbling to his feet with a hoarse cry, fumbling for his wand, his slender fingers curling around its handle tightly.
The man's reaction startled the Auror so badly as her presence seemed to have equally startled him, she too gasped back and raised her wand at the man's chest, eyeing Snape as though he were a dangerous basilisk.
For a moment, Severus hardly seemed to see Tonks standing in front of her, his black eyes glittering and dancing over her slender form with sharp, quick strokes, but when he realized who stood in front of him, his fear and paranoia began to slide off him like water falling over rocks, and the man drew his icy cold façade around him like a cloak, pursing his thin, wormy lips thinly.
"Mrs. Lupin," Severus spat angrily through tightly gritted teeth. "I'm given to understand that even among our own kind it's common courtesy to warn a man with a knock before a witch such as yourself enters his office unannounced and unwanted," he snapped, gnashing his teeth.
She thought the man to be insufferably rude and cold, then impossibly so, to speak to the Head of the Auror Department this way—to speak to her, to her, who'd gone out of her way to deliver something intended for him on Kingsley's behalf, as a favor.
Though admittedly, she'd balked upon learning Kingsley wanted them to collaborate. To work alongside one another to catch a Dark wizard growing notorious in his name for the man's crimes against little kids.
The thought made her shudder, bile rising in her throat. Though she wasn't sure which she hated the idea of the most: the fact that Ollie's own twin could be responsible for such disgusting, horrific crimes, or that she'd be working with Snape for weeks, maybe even months or years, however long it took the Auror Department to catch Brennan and bring him into the Ministry.
"I did," Tonks growled, hardening her expression as well as her voice to match Snape's aggression. She stepped towards him and glowered at him. "Very loudly. And then when I came inside, I called your name, but you ignored me, Severus, like you always do, so why am I not surprised this time is no different? Have you gone daft, Snape, huh, to miss me—me and my clumsy arse—entering your office? It's a bloody miracle I didn't trip! How in the hell could you not have heard that, Snape, huh? Are you deaf?"
She threw her arms up in the air around her, gesturing to no one in particular. Tonks furrowed her thin eyebrows as she continued to regard Severus curiously, wondering why the man was staring at her so intently.
First, Severus had been staring intently at her mouth, watching as her lips shaped the words that tumbled unchecked out of her mouth as she let her temper get the better of her; but at the last cruel phrase she'd spat out, the man had gone very pale, rendering him almost pallid looking.
Severus Snape was sickly, looking even sicker than usual, which was saying something, Tonks thought, with just a twinge of grey to his cheekbones, which were sunken in and emaciated.
He looked like death. He drew back as though Tonks had backhanded him. Severus was looking so stricken that for just a fraction of a second, Tonks thought she'd insulted him somehow, without even intending it, which was a Merlin bloody miracle in it itself.
But then, Tonks began to wonder… Tonks, just like everybody else within the Order of the Phoenix prior to the organization mostly disbanding, remained wary of Severus, even after the truth came to light, even after Harry Potter vouched for him.
These days, those in the Order who were left were maintained, and kept in line by none other than her husband, her Remus, as they assisted the Auror Department unofficially in whatever way they could in rounding up the last few stray Death Eaters that had managed to avoid prosecution and being arrested and brought into the Ministry for official questioning about their actions.
Severus, Tonks thought, was a strange bloke, with a strange bloodline, even for a half-blooded wizard, and even stranger behaviors, if the contents of his office were anything to go by, Tonks thought.
She took a pink curl in her thumb and forefinger to twirl as she made a habit of furrowing her brows as her gaze was briefly drawn towards the ceiling and shelves. Dozens if not hundreds of jars containing questionable-looking substances were lined along the wall or hung from the ceiling.
Tonks swallowed hard and tried not to look, instead, she focused her attention back towards Severus. The sallow-faced, dark-haired Potions Master had a stare so intense it made Tonks itch for the ability to be able to crawl out of her own skin quite literally, much like a snake would, and the man's dark eyes had a habit of lingering on her lips as if the git were imagining what it would be like to kiss her. Tonks's face paled at that unpleasant thought, her gaze drifting down to the simple gold band on her left ring finger, thinking she was a spoken woman now that she'd married her werewolf and had a son with Remus Lupin.
If Snape ever were to try something funny, she'd have no choice but to jinx him so hard he'd be lucky to remember his own name, and that was if she didn't wipe his memory.
There was a part of Tonks that was dreading working alongside the man, but the Dark wizard had to be found.
She cringed as Snape continued to eye her and study her lips in that intense way that unnerved her, thinking that the act of him just…staring like this, was starting to scare her.
And if Tonks was being honest, she had no real reason to be scared of him, but this was because this wasn't normal.
Even by their standards in wizarding society, he was different. It was no good to be 'different' in their world.
It was the raw and fresh memory of the man's eyes on her lips that caught Tonks's attention at that exact moment.
At first, she misinterpreted the man's meaning and his interest in her lips as a highly sexual sign, and totally inappropriate and was about to jinx him where he stood. This wasn't exactly the first time he'd looked at her like this, but now, standing in front of the man while the Potions Master cringed and gasped at just the mere mention of the concept of deafness, Tonks was horrorstricken to realize that this was something the bloke did to everyone. Yes, now that she thought about it…
The sharp and quick glances towards their mouth whenever someone spoke to him, his dark eyes narrowing a little, brows furrowed in intense concentration as he focused on the shapes their lips made.
He was… he was studying their mouths.
Oh, Merlin…
Tonks's eyes went wide and round with shock as she felt what little color was left in her face drain as she took a fumbling step back and clamped a hand over her mouth.
He'd never got it in his mind to kiss her at all. He was… He'd been reading her lips.
But that meant he was deaf.
The shock of what she had just figured out left Tonks standing speechless in front of Snape, the color rushing to her cheeks. She'd been so rude and awful to him at every opportunity during Order meetings, just as Sirius had always done, and to a lesser extent, Remus.
She had laughed about the man's quirks and oddities and complained about the Potions Master's sometimes annoying habit of ignoring particular words or phrases in a conversation, thinking Snape to be rude, but she realized in a flood of cold dread that those were only the phrases that he had not heard, or rather, read.
There was a part of the Auror that was impressed. She'd always known Snape was a cunning man, clever.
He could read mouths and facial expressions so well that no one ever noticed. That must have taken considerable skill. Tonks almost told Snape so, but a wave of guilt washed over her, heavy and suffocating.
"I—I h—had no idea…how long, Snape? How?" Tonks gasped out.
She almost covered her mouth out of embarrassment as hot shame painted her cheeks pink and flushed with color.
Tonks drew her hands away from her mouth immediately, tucking her wand back into her backmost black jeans pocket, not giving a damn about Mad-Eye's former lessons of 'elementary wand safety.'
Oh, Merlin, was she speaking too fast for him to be able to understand? Her eyes widened in abject horror.
"I—I'm sorry," she stuttered, fumbling over her words. Would it be better for Snape if she slowed down?
"I—I mean no offense, no one told me, Severus."
Not even Remus, she thought, chewing on her lip.
She wondered if her husband even knew the truth. A muscle in Severus's jaw twitched in irritation and tightened as he clenched his teeth, narrowing his eyes.
"Don't do that, Nymphadora," Snape spat, no small amount of utter contempt in his baritone voice.
Tonks froze, startled, all thoughts of her original intentions of speaking with Snape to discuss their assignment together having completely fled from her.
"I—I don't understand," Tonks stammered, digging her nails into the palms of her fists. "What am I doing wrong? What's the matter?" she demanded, upset.
"You're slowing down, witch, that's what's 'wrong," he snapped. "Don't slow your words when you speak," Snape snarled, the edges of his lips curling upward to reveal his gums, and Tonks was reminded of a rabid dog that had been backed into a corner, all bite. His fingers curled into a tight fist over his peacock quill. "I can read your mouth just fine at its usual pace, thank you very much. Contrary to what you believe, and don't bother trying to deny it, I can read your mind, I'm more than perfectly capable of managing fine on my own."
"Ah, o-of course you are," Tonks murmured, positively blushing scarlet now as she studied the cold cobblestone floor of his office in the dungeons of Hogwarts in a far too engrossed manner, trying to ignore the searing heat that was creeping to her cheeks. "I—I'm sorry, sir. I—I just…I only meant to try to help, Severus."
Much to Dora's surprise, Severus smiled bitterly, almost looking, dare she think it, amused, as he set the quill down and folded his fingers together.
"Help," he repeated, letting the word roll off his tongue as though the man had never tasted it before. "Help from the loud and obnoxious wife of werewolf Remus John Lupin. Help from the new Head of the Auror Department, the klutz that you are, and Merlin help your new department. What a shocking change," Severus snapped bitterly. "I should have known. Did you know, Mrs. Lupin, that even pity moves the cruelest of people to stay their hand from time to time? Much like you're doing right now," he pointed out bluntly, noticing Dora flinch. "I suppose you expect that I'm going to thank you for your so-called 'kindness,' but I have no use for pity—especially not yours, succubus, nor anyone else's, Nymphadora, so you can clear that notion out of your mind right this instant. If you're quite finished, Mrs. Lupin, you may leave the files on my desk as Shacklebolt ordered you to do and go. I don't need your help, Auror. I will find Dominic on my own and see him brought to justice. I have no further need of you. You'd be a liability to me, and you would only be in my way, witch. With as clumsy as you are, you would only succeed in getting me killed, Tonks." The words were like black poison on his tongue, and she could tell he thought they tasted bitter.
Tonks nearly choked on her own tongue as she visibly shirked back at the older man's words, stiffening angrily, as her gaze flitted from him, and then to the files.
"I don't doubt your capabilities, Professor," she said, glaring him down and folding her arms across her chest. "Nor am I giving you pity. Nobody ever told me, and I'm the one who should be sorry, Severus. I…I misjudged you. Is that what you want to hear, Snape? You've obviously managed quite well without my pity or my help." Tonks paused, furrowing her brows in a frown. "No one ever told me. Dumbledore and McGonagall…"
"No one else knows, save for the two of them. And your husband and of course, Black himself," Severus snarled, the edges of his lips curling up in a twisted sneer. "And I would prefer it to stay that way, though I can see I've just dealt you a rather harsh emotional blow." He clucked his tongue at her and shook his head, mocking. "Your wolf never said a word. He's been a bad dog, Tonks. A very. bad. dog," he snarled, grinding his teeth.
Tonks furrowed her brows, shaking her head, trying to understand and send the man's words away, though the knowledge that Remus knew of this and never once said a word to her refused to part from her mind. It left her chest feeling tight, tears welling in her eyes as she swallowed down past a lump in her throat.
"I—I don't understand. But why?" she asked. "It would surely change so much for you. They'd understand," she started to say, though Snape cut her off.
"Indeed, it would, Mrs. Lupin, you've no idea!" Snape spat through gritted teeth. His hands were curled into white-knuckled fists at his side as he strode out from behind the desk and moved to stand inches from her.
Tonks's first instinct was to bolt, but something within her told her he would react poorly to that move, and if Kingsley would have them work together on this case, to apprehend Dominic, she needed to learn to trust him.
But that didn't mean it was going to be an easy task.
His black eyes narrowed until they were mere slits in his pale face, reminding Nymphadora of a pit viper's slit-like pupils, and as he stood shaking, intimidatingly so, in front of her, he looked every bit a Slytherin.
"It would change everything for me, I suspect. Your cousin and husband would take advantage of it now, once the truth came out, just as they did back then! They would likely see it as an opportunity to maim me at least, attacking me, jinxing me when I can neither see nor hear them. Tell me, witch, do you truly hate me so much that you would wish to sentence me to death?"
"I…" Tonks stammered, though her voice trailed off as her breaths caught in her throat.
She opened her mouth to voice her protest and shake her head no, but she knew at once that it was futile, and more to the point beside that, it was naïve of her not to consider this now.
Despite the truth coming to light, Severus Snape was a man who had hundreds of enemies in Great Britain alone, Death Eaters loyal to their master to the end, Dominic Brennan one of them, Tonks knew this.
If any one of them were to ever catch wind of the former Death Eater's weakness, they'd exploit it, surely.
Tonks herself, even after Harry's testimony and witnessing the memories for herself in Albus's Pensieve, was still not entirely certain she trusted Snape so wholly. But she was not so cruel as to let something like that happen to him on her watch. Not her new partner. She shook her head slowly, biting her lip and staring guiltily at the floor.
"Dumbledore?" she asked, her voice very small. She had trouble meeting Snape's gaze.
Some of the anger went out of Snape upon hearing the former Headmaster of Hogwarts' name. He deflated a little bit and his shoulders slumped forward.
"He was aware. One of the first. It was Potter who did this to me. Potter and Black," he snarled, a dark, ugly shadow flitting across his pallid features, making the man look truly monstrous in the dimly lit room that was the man's office.
Tonks actually flinched away in fear.
If Severus noticed it, he paid it no mind as he continued. "He sent one of his better connections, a top Healer at St. Mungo's to my father in an effort to save my hearing. I was thirteen. The Healer tried everything, but there was nothing that could be done for me," he hissed, clenching his fists, and unclenching them repeatedly, as though unsure what to do with his hands.
This news hit her like a swift Knockback Jinx to the gut, causing her to stagger backward. So, Snape hadn't always been deaf then. This revelation just made her guilt even worse.
"Remus?" she whispered hoarsely.
He seemed to sense what she was thinking and sneered, shaking his head as though disappointed with her deduction, and that of her husband's actions, or in this case, she suspected back then, his lack of actions.
"Did nothing," he answered simply, confirming Tonks's worst fears. A violent shudder traveled up and down her spine and bile rose up in the back of her throat. "He wanted to put a stop to it, he tried to stop them, but Black, I think, I can't remember, one of them threatened to jinx him with a Tongue-Engorging Charm if he tried."
Tonks squeezed her eyes shut, gritting her teeth, and struggling to send the horrible images of the vivid picture of the assault on him her husband had a hand in, indirectly speaking, when they were teenagers, away.
But it did her little good. The haunting images her mind's eye created burned themselves into her retinas. "Wh—what happened?" she whispered, in spite of herself. Merlin, but she did not want to know, but neither could she remain in the dark about this any longer. If she was to find Dominic alongside him, she needed him, and they needed to trust one another now.
Severus smiled thinly, seemingly pleased, it would seem, by how uncomfortable she was becoming.
"Oh, nothing out of the ordinary, Mrs. Lupin. Just your husband's stupid friends beating me around the head until my ears started ringing and my vision blurred. Potter was primarily the one responsible for it. Boys will be boys, as they say," he growled resentfully.
Tonks drew in a sharp breath, horrified. "James. Sirius. Any of them, were they ever punished for it?"
At that, Snape did actually let himself smile and let out a bitter-sounding laugh that was more like a hiss.
"Come now, Mrs. Lupin, you're an Auror, you're not stupid, so please. Do me a favor and quit pretending as though you're simple. You're not so naïve as to truly believe that. Potter's parents and grandparents were on the school board. They threatened a lawsuit if their sweet, precious son was expelled. So, no, nothing outside of detentions for the rest of the year served as punishment," he snarled, his face paling in his utter rage.
Tonks was suddenly hit with something much more subdued and much sadder, as she tried to picture Severus Snape as a kid, thirteen years old, bloodied, bruised, crawling back to the Hospital Wing broken, bleeding, clutching his head to stop the ringing in his ears. Just the image alone made her shudder with disgust.
"I—I'm sorry, I—I h-had no idea. Remus never said," she whispered, which was the wrong thing to say.
Severus growled in the back of his throat and sharply turned his head away, refusing to look at Dora.
"Of course, your werewolf never said a word to you. Potter, Black, and the rest were sworn to secrecy. I would not expect him to share this information with you. Not when it would paint him in a bad light with his mate," he whisper hissed in a condescending manner, his words through his teeth. It was, Tonks realized, as he turned his back to her, his way of terminating a conversation he wished to end. If Snape couldn't hear what she had to say, then he wouldn't have to respond, and eventually, she'd leave and let him go. It was his only natural line of defense. She turned on her heels to go, her hand outstretched and hovering over the rusted door handle, when Snape's voice, much quieter this time, spoke up. "Why apologize for something you didn't do?" he asked. "As I said, I don't want your pity or anyone else's. I manage on just fine on my own. Now if you're quite finished, I have work to do. I will meet you in the morning outside of the Hog's Head if you're amenable. Eight o'clock. Don't you dare think of being late?"
Tonks parted her lips open to speak, though before she could turn around to face the reinstated Potions Master following his new reputation after Voldemort's death, the man, with alarming speed, raised his wand and pointed it towards the door, causing it to magically burst open, and Tonks felt her feet rapidly moving her backward seemingly not of their own accord, and the door was promptly slammed in her face.
Tonks turned, resting her back against the wood of Snape's office door, splinters digging into her back. She tried to swallow the anger of her visit with Snape, and the guilt of treating him so horribly, not knowing the truth, or that Remus had a hand in this…
Oh, he might not have partaken in the Muggle way of dueling, with their fists, but doing nothing was just as bad, if not worse. She wondered if he still lived with the guilt, after all this time, if it haunted him, still. Tonks did not know how long she rested against the Potions Master's office door in silence, her mind reeling and struggling to grasp what she had learned. How wrong she had been, to treat him that way. Bitter tears streamed down her cheeks. Visions of Remus's face flitted through the front of her mind, unable to fathom how her husband could have kept this knowledge a secret from her, or what to do about it now.
She thought there was no hatred in the world that existed stronger than what Tonks felt now for herself.
When she could stand the space inside her own skin no longer, when there were no more tears left within her to cry and the little drops were now spent, Tonks blew out a deep breath in the form of a long, slow exhale and stalked off down the dungeon hallway to prepare to head to the edge of the school's grounds, a safe distance enough away, near the Forbidden Forest, where the protective enchantments were lifted that would let her Disapparate and head back home to Wales.
Remus owed her the truth before she left in the morning to meet with Snape in Hogsmeade about Dom.
And he was going to tell her every last bit of it, she resolved, as she stormed her way out onto the bridge and towards the frontmost edge of the school's property.
As she turned on her heels to Disapparate, visions of her and Remus and baby Teddy's home in Wales flitting through her mind, determination burned and surged within her veins as she vowed to make her husband tell her the Merlin honest truth, or God help her, she would jinx him until he didn't remember his own name. He wouldn't be able to stand up for a week.
The last thing Tonks thought as her feet Apparated onto solid ground, in front of their simple one-story home in the countryside behind the woods in Wales was that she hoped Remus would tell the truth.
As she walked up the steps, she could feel the one thought permeating in the air from her mind.
Please don't hurt me again, was the only thought that she was exuding in the atmosphere around her as she quietly opened the front door of her home and slipped inside, gingerly closing the door behind her, prepared to do one of the hardest things she'd ever had to her in her life.
Confront him.