Hi, everyone! I wasn't planning on posting this yet, but given that I can't really participate in UsaMamo Week this year, and today is SilMil day, I figured what the hell. This fic was originally supposed to be a short one-shot from last year's MamoUsa Week First Kiss prompt, but it kept growing, so I've decided to split it into 2 parts (and maybe an epilogue).
As you'll see, it's a little bit experimental. It's kind of an AU of an AU that I established in another fic, Domino, so I feel like I'm taking a bit of a risk. It's explained within this text, but here's the context from Domino: "While contact between the citizens of the Earth and the Moon was forbidden, it was the Moon Kingdom's responsibility to guide, protect, and watch over the Golden Kingdom. To that end, the reigning monarchs of the two kingdoms met once a year. No one else was permitted to attend, and the conversations between the two were a tightly kept and Endymion had both grown up knowing this would one day be their responsibility. They were forbidden to meet before then, and the eventual relationship between the two was to be kept strictly political, the Lunar monarch providing counsel to the Terran one."
Thanks a million to my lovely beta Kasienda and to FloraOne for their feedback and encouragement. I've literally been working on this for over a year now, and I couldn't have done it without them. Also, thanks to Antigone2 for stepping up to host UsaMamo week this year!
I hope you enjoy, and please please let me know your thoughts!
5 Years
Part 1: Years 1-3
The first year, she met him.
Princess Serenity stood outside two massive, intricately carved golden doors, her jaw tight, fighting to keep her head held high despite the unfamiliar sensation that pulled on her and made her want to crumple her body to the ground.
She glanced to her left and was met with Sailor Venus' sad, but comforting, smile.
She was only eighteen. Eighteen, and thrust into the role of having to counsel an entire planet, because tradition dictated it so. Her mother's illness had shocked the Moon Kingdom. The all-powerful, untouchable Lunarian queen, felled by an expanding mass of cells in her chest that the Crystal couldn't heal.
It was a centuries-old tradition that the Lunar monarch visited the Terran one once a year to advise the leader of the people she watched over from afar. Contact between the two outside of these annual meetings was forbidden, and the relationship was to be kept strictly political.
Queen Serenity was too weak for her annual trip to Earth this year.
So the responsibility fell to the Princess. It fell to her to advise a young king she'd never met, one who had been relying on her mother's wisdom ever since his own father had died years ago.
It was daunting, filling that role.
Serenity closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and drew on her inner strength as the trumpets that heralded it was almost time for her to enter sounded.
She was suddenly intensely aware of the weight of the unfamiliar silver and sapphire crown that adorned her head. It was up to her to represent her kingdom and to live up to the reputation centuries of Lunar monarchs had cultivated:
Be firm, but kind.
Be strong, but gentle.
Be unyieldingly powerful, but unapologetically feminine.
The doors creaked open and, head held high, Princess Serenity entered the Golden Kingdom's bright, airy throne room.
She hadn't counted on the kindness that radiated from his midnight blue eyes as he knelt before her and kissed her signet ring, his gentle touch triggering a waterfall of goosebumps that traveled up her arms and down her back.
She hadn't counted on the strong sculpt of his jaw, how his sooty eyelashes contrasted with his smooth ivory skin, or the way his elegant fingers reached up to push his ebony hair out of his face.
She hadn't counted on this instant, undeniable, urgent attraction that flooded her body and made her want to press him up against the nearest wall and let her lips and hands roam over every inch of him.
But to admit any of this would have been to break the most important taboo. Princess Serenity steeled herself, trying to push down the feelings bubbling up within her.
"King Endymion." Her voice came out more harshly than she intended it to.
If it surprised him, he didn't show it, his countenance a paragon of respect and reverence.
Princess Serenity took a deep, steady breath. "Let's begin."
The second year, she counseled him.
King Endymion leaned over the yellowed map rolled out on the mahogany table before them, a lock of dark hair falling over his forehead. "There," he acknowledged, spreading his fingers over the Northeast quadrant. "My generals have reported stirrings of a rebel movement in the outer reaches of the kingdom."
His tone was businesslike, a man reporting the objective facts of a situation to a superior. But his midnight eyes swam with apprehension.
Serenity pursed her lips and scanned the map, taking in the information Endymion had presented. A former Terran noble had gained a small group of followers and fomented anti-Lunarian sentiment by espousing the idea that the Moon Kingdom sought to control the Earth through its relationship with the royal family.
"What about this...Lady Beryl?" Serenity began. Endymion looked up from the map and his eyes met hers. Serenity tried to ignore her heart hammering in her chest at the intensity of his gaze. She swallowed. "You say the rebels are loyal to her?"
Endymion nodded.
She didn't want to say it, didn't want to suggest it even for a second, but it did make practical sense. Serenity's fists unconsciously clenched at her sides as the words left her mouth, even as she was internally screaming for them not to. "Have you considered a marriage alliance?"
Endymion inhaled sharply, the color draining from his cheeks. "I don't think that would be… prudent."
Serenity tried to ignore the way it felt like her heart had risen back into its proper place within her chest at his response.
She didn't press the issue. She didn't want to press the issue.
Still, Endymion offered an explanation. "Years ago, Lady Beryl was a courtier at the palace. I rejected her romantic advances at the time because, even then, she did little to hide her disdain for my family. She pursued me purely out of desire for power for power's sake. I could never trust her with my people. And besides..." he trailed off.
Serenity nodded, too focused on trying to hide the unmerited relief she felt to notice how his eyes lingered on her for seconds longer than propriety and protocol allowed, the red tinge blooming on the tips of his ears.
A sudden movement from the large picture window next to them caught Serenity's attention. "Oh!" she gasped, rushing toward it in a flurry of silk and lace, the map behind her momentarily forgotten.
Snow had begun to fall-fat, feathery snowflakes that drifted lazily from the sky and coated the palace grounds in a pretty white dust. The Golden Kingdom's capital city of Elysion was enchanted to showcase the beauty and diversity of Earth's climate and terrain, allowing for snowflakes in summer or blooming flowers in winter.
Serenity pressed her nose and fingers to the glass, a wide grin spread across her face. "Snow!" she exclaimed breathlessly, the excitement taking over. "I've always wanted to see it! My mother would tell me stories about the snow when I was a little girl….it's beautiful!" She sighed. "Of course, Sailor Mercury can harness the power of snow, but she only ever uses it in training, and I'm not allowed to be in those sessions, which is quite stupid," she muttered.
Immediately, she clamped a hand over her mouth and whirled back to face Endymion, the embarrassment rising up in her in having let her true personality slip. Such a breach of decorum was unfitting for someone of her stature, especially on an occasion as serious as this.
But Endymion's rumbling laughter filled the throne room and he nodded his head toward the snow still falling outside the window. "Would you like me to show you?"
The third year, she was comforted by him.
"Your Majesty."
That's right. That was her title now.
The funeral had been weeks ago, the surrounding days a blur. What Serenity did remember floated back into her awareness during moments alone, when she was in the bath or drifting off to sleep. It was as if whenever her mind got some room to breathe, her grief greedily gulped up all the air and screamed at her not to forget what she'd seen. What she'd felt.
Sailor Mars' keening sob that pierced the otherwise silent palace hallway when the bells that signaled the Queen's death pealed throughout the city.
The soft swells of a traditional Lunarian mourning hymn as they slowly filed out of the chapel behind the Queen's casket, Serenity in the lead, head held high as the crowd looked to her for reassurance and comfort.
The finality of the sound when the stone tomb was closed and Serenity had to get on with running a kingdom.
Life didn't stop.
Serenity swallowed the lump in her throat, tried to ignore the wave of grief that threatened to engulf her. "What would you like us to discuss this year, King Endymion?" Her voice was steady, but only barely.
Gently, Endymion took her hand in his, his tender gaze boring into her. His eyes swirled with concern and compassion. "This year," he whispered. "I'd like to talk about you." He gestured to the gardens on the other side of the throne room's French doors. "Walk with me?"
Serenity breathed in deeply as Endymion led her through a maze of vibrant green shrubbery. In her few visits to Earth, she had always been amazed at how alive it was. The light breeze that tickled her skin. The rich, loamy scent of soil. The pops of color from flowers that dotted the landscape and birds that flew overhead.
The Moon, in contrast, was all silver and white and still, with its alabaster columns and marble hallways and soft, near-colorless pastel vegetation. Serenity had found comfort in the Moon before. It was home. But now, its near-sterility served only to remind her of death.
Endymion stopped when they reached a circular area partially closed off from the rest of the gardens. Plump, bright red roses in various states of bloom climbed up and around the craggy, rosebush-lined stone walls and the marble fountain that burbled in the center. He gave her a warm smile as he motioned for her to sit next to him on the fountain's edge.
"I was fourteen," Endymion began quietly. "Fourteen when my father died and I was to become king." He hesitated, wetting his lips. "I was angry. Resentful. Unforgivably rude to your mother when she first arrived. I didn't want to see her-didn't want to face what that meant." Endymion leaned forward, turning away from Serenity, his hands folded in between his knees, and squeezed his eyes shut.
"So I didn't. I purposefully avoided the throne room when she was due to arrive. Hid for hours in and around the palace. My generals were furious with me. And there is a part of me that is still furious with myself."
"I don't know what your mother did on her visit that day. But hours later, as the sun was setting, she found me here, in this garden. And she just...listened." His fists clenched, hands shaking. "She listened as I railed against my role, my kingdom, my people. I said...terrible things that day."
He took a deep breath, opening his eyes and turning to face Serenity fully. "Anyone else would have judged me for acting like a petulant child. Would have thought I was unfit to rule. But your mother recognized my anger for what it was. Grief."
Serenity's throat tightened, and she gripped the fountain's edge. She, too, had wanted to lash out in anger over the past weeks. Anger at having to become Queen far sooner than she had ever expected or wanted to be. Anger at the Crystal for not being able to heal her mother. Anger at having to suppress her own emotions when it was not at all in her nature to do so.
"That year, your mother comforted me in a way no one else could at the time. For seven years, I treasured her visits. Her wise counsel. Her boundless empathy. And, most of all, her kindness."
Serenity's vision swam, turning the garden into a wet blur of red and gray. Her breaths grew shallow as all the emotions she'd held in check for weeks bubbled up in her.
Endymion gently placed his palm on the loosely-folded hands in Serenity's lap, and reached up to cradle the side of her face with the other.
"When news of your mother's illness reached Earth, I was overcome with emotion. I only saw her once a year, but Queen Serenity was the only mother figure I've ever known. I know that must be only a shadow of what you feel," he murmured, brushing away a stray tear from Serenity's cheek with the pad of his thumb. "And...I want to be here for you the way your mother was there for me."
Serenity gave in.
She gave in to the violent, heaving sobs that wracked her body and left her choking for air, the salty tears that poured down her face and dripped down onto her dress and would not stop. She gave in to the waves of anguish that rose up in her and reminded her that she'd never see her mother again. She gave into the pressure that suffocated her with the expectation of having to follow in her mother's near-perfect footsteps.
Tentatively, Endymion curled his arm around her shoulders. But it wasn't enough. Adrift in a fervent whirlpool of her own emotions, Serenity was overwhelmed by the need to feel steadily anchored to something solid, and threw herself fully into his arms.
His muscles tensed momentarily, startled, before he cradled her to him, his arms wrapping around her and rubbing up and down her back as she still shook with sobs. His earthy, spicy scent mixed with the sweet, heady smell of roses as Serenity clung to him, her tears staining his tunic.
"I'm so, so sorry, Serenity," he whispered, after her sobs had subsided into small hiccups and soft sniffles.
She pulled back suddenly, her eyes flying to his.
"Your Majesty," Endymion corrected hastily, a blush staining his cheeks. "I apologize for my indiscre-" Serenity cut him off, pressing a finger to his lips.
It was electric, the feel of his delicate skin underneath her fingertips, and she nearly jolted back. Her eyes searched his. "Say it again."
"My informality was unconscionable, your Majesty," he began formally, his posture stiff.
Serenity shook her head. "My name," she breathed. "Say it".
The momentary shock on Endymion's face was quickly replaced by a soft smile as he relaxed. "Serenity," he whispered, almost shyly, each syllable a caress on his tongue. "Serenity."
Hope you liked it! I know this kind of experimental approach might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I'd love to hear from you in the reviews (or on Tumblr) if it was. Good luck to everyone participating in UsaMamo Week; I can't wait to catch up on everyone's stuff (once my dissertation stops trying to murder me). Look out for Part 2 soon :)