1.
Azula adores her cousin Lu Ten, but she doesn't see him often.
One day, she hides in a secluded area of the gardens to practice her forms, away from the watchful eyes of her family. Fifteen minutes into her run-throughs, she hears a familiar voice she hasn't heard in months.
"General Azula, reporting for duty!"
Azula whirls around to find Lu Ten, clad in a crisp military uniform. "Cousin!" She throws herself at him without hesitation, tears brimming in both their eyes as he embraces her. When he pulls away, he explains that he's just graduated from the Academy, and that he's to be sent off on his first military tour in a week. Azula replies by regaling him with her recent adventures, from exploring the palace with Zuzu to the training she started just six months ago.
"Want to show me what you've been learning?" Azula nods eagerly and launches into the most recent basic form she's learned.
"Father says I have a lot of power, much more than Zuzu." Still preoccupied with her forms, she doesn't notice the dark look that briefly passes over her cousin's face. When she looks up, the expression is gone. "Are you powerful, Lu?" she asks with childish curiosity.
Her cousin laughs, the concern at her previous comment momentarily gone. "I like to think I am. Would you like to see a move I learned in training?"
Azula's eyes light up and she nods vigorously again.
The move is an advanced one, he tells her. The idea is to create a sphere of fire around the user and, if strong enough, should be capable of repelling multiple attacks. Lu Ten shows her the move; it's a brilliant display of light and power that leaves Azula breathless. When she tries it herself, the most she can manage is a curved wall in front of her that reaches the top of her head.
Nevertheless, Lu Ten claps, a broad smile on his face. "Very good, Azula! Keep it up and you'll do it better than me!" Azula beams at the praise, and her cousin bends down to look her in the eye, gold meeting gold.
"Remember, little cousin, if you use power for power's sake, you're no better than a criminal. But if you use it to protect your home, your family, and those you love, you can accomplish wonders."
Azula missed Lu Ten more than anyone else.
2.
When Azula spends time with Mai and Ty Lee, she thinks she knows everything there is about loyalty.
She meets the two at the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, and immediately brings them under her wing. Being the Princess, they can hardly say no to her company and besides, Azula's royal status makes them virtually untouchable, both to classmates and teachers. Soon enough, Azula invites them to spend time at the royal palace, visits that eventually become a regular occurrence. For both of them (Ty Lee especially) this is an extreme privilege - as neither of them are royalty - and she makes sure both of them know it.
Her father tells her that fear will always trump love when it comes to loyalty. Azula believes him. Although she never shows violence to her friends (she only gives the slightest implication) she establishes her superiority - over both them and others - in subtler ways. It comes all too easy to her.
One day, as they eat shumai under the garden's cherry blossoms, Ty Lee makes an offhand comment. "Azula, I love you and the palace is amazing," she says cheerfully. "But I want to see more of the city, make more friends!"
"What other friends do you need? You have me." She laughs, and Ty Lee laughs nervously with her.
Azula levels a look at Mai, challenging her to say something in response. A spark of defiance flashes through Mai's eyes, but it vanishes, and she yawns and asks about dessert.
Ty Lee never mentions meeting other friends again, and Azula believes it is because she truly does think of Azula as the only friend she needs. Of course, years later at the Boiling Rock, she realizes that was not the case.
When Mai lets Zuko go and Ty Lee blocks her chi and Azula spits orders to lock them in prison, she denies the possibility of this ever happening.
When her mother appears to her, Azula lashes out, all the grief and pain of betrayal coming to a head.
When she stands alone in a vast palace, a princess on the eve of her coronation, she realizes she - and her father - might have been wrong about loyalty after all.
The dust of war settles, and she writes letters to both Mai and Ty Lee from the hospital. They go unanswered.
Later, when she comes back into both of their lives, the reunion is as awkward as it is embarrassing.
"I know you don't want to talk." Azula tries to maintain the composure expected of a princess, but she finds herself avoiding eye contact more often than not. "I just want you to know that I've changed."
"That's for us to decide. And if you're expecting absolution, don't." Mai's glare is as sharp as the knives she wields.
Ty Lee's grey eyes shine with trepidation. "You set my circus on fire and made us hunt the Avatar across a continent."
Azula's heart falls. "I know. I'm trying to make up for it."
The acrobat offers a diminutive smile, and it is enough to get Azula's hopes up.
It takes a long time for Mai to forgive her, and an even longer time for Ty Lee to stop fearing her. But Azula weathers through it all, because more than anything, she wants her friends to love her.
3.
Azula expects Zuko to visit her in the hospital, and when he does, she tells him hateful, disgusting things.
Traitorous filth, Avatar's bitch, peasant bastard, she screams at him. Boy without honor.
She wants her words to hurt him, to claw at him from the inside and maybe even provoke him into attacking her. Despite it all, Zuko takes it without so much as a clenched fist. The insults and provocations wash over him like water on rock, and she's left wondering when exactly did he become so noble, so tolerant, so unlike her.
The weeks turn into months, yet Zuko, despite his numerous duties as Fire Lord and friend to the Avatar, visits her as often as he can. Sometimes he tells her about how he and his pathetic friends are patching up the world, or how the search for their mother is going. Sometimes he sits and listens to her scream.
Eventually, Azula runs out of insults altogether. She says nothing to him, so they sit in silence. She thinks Zuko enjoys it.
When he speaks, he encourages her to listen to her doctors, who, according to him, are the best and most experienced in the Fire Nation.
It takes several more weeks of futilely arguing with him before she decides to give it a try.
She hates it at first, even more so than yelling at Zuko and seeing it have no effect. They talk to her in calm, placid tones, and it is so very different from the scalding, insidious voice her father used on her for more than a decade. They are understanding, respectful even, to the point where they do not flinch when she hurls the occasional fireball at them.
Azula talks to the other patients (again, at Zuko's suggestion), lonely men and women who have gone through their own trials and troubles. At first, she is impatient, unwilling to sully herself with the company of peasants. But she's lonely too, so she commits herself to sitting down and listening.
She hears their stories. One man tried to drown himself when his two daughters never came back from the war - a reminder of the horror Azula and her family perpetuated for a century. Another woman speaks of the vile abuse and assault she received at the hands of her husband - a reminder of the privilege Azula grew up with.
She cries.
She shares her grief.
She stops hurling fireballs.
It's been two years since her admittance when the hospital notifies Zuko that she's ready to be discharged. Azula thanks the hospital staff and tells the patients she'll visit them once a year, wherever they are.
It's a promise she keeps when even her hair turns grey and her joints start to ache.
Zuko arrives in an airship and patiently waits for her. When she reaches him, he wraps her in a tentative hug that she fiercely returns.
He doesn't comment on the tears that stain his robes, and she likes that he doesn't. "I'm sorry I said all those horrible things to you."
"No worse than all those times you tried to kill me," he cheekily replies.
Azula can't help but laugh. "How - how can you not be angry at me? After everything?"
He shakes his head, a proud smile on his face. "I stopped being angry at you a long time ago. I'm just glad you found your way."
Zuko's been many things to her throughout the years, a rival, a disappointment, and a traitor among them. When she steps onto the airship side by side with him, she mentally adds one more to the list: a brother.
4.
Katara is the only person in the world to have bested her, and Azula remembers it each time she sees her.
It's been many years since that fateful duel under Sozin's Comet, years since she experienced the agonizing sensation of drowning and the humiliation of being chained to the floor. Although she's no longer an enemy of the Avatar's group, the disgrace of her defeat rings fresh in her mind every time they - or Katara rather - comes to visit.
This is one of those times. Aang and Katara, having seemingly found a break in their worldly duties, unexpectedly arrived a few hours ago. As always, Azula gave Zuko and Mai the flimsy pretense of practicing her bending as an excuse to leave.
It wasn't a total lie; as Azula flips and leaps through the Striking Viper kata in the training room, she thinks of how naturally the advanced set comes to her now after years of recovery.
Then she turns around to bow to an imaginary audience - customary for every kata - and sees the waterbender standing at the doorway, an amused expression on her face.
"Pe - Katara. What - what are you doing here?" Azula inwardly curses at the near-slip up.
If the waterbender notices, she doesn't say. "I was walking around, heard the sound of bending, and I wanted to see." She smiles kindly, a gesture Azula is surprised to receive no matter how long it's been since the war. "That was very impressive, I might add."
"Er...thank you." Azula is very confused as to why Katara is still there. Then she realizes it. "Did Zuko send you here?"
Katara blushes, but has the grace to be honest. "He did. He thought it was past time you stopped avoiding me." Before Azula can protest, she continues, "and I thought the same. Honestly...do you want to go a few rounds?"
Now Azula is truly taken aback, and more. She remembers drowning, panicking, screaming, the shame of defeat. But the woman standing in front of her is nothing like the vengeful girl she faced all those years ago, not to mention she's been itching for combat against someone other than a Fire National. As if noticing her discomfort, Katara reassures her.
"I won't hurt you. I promise. And I trust that you won't hurt me."
Her voice is sincere and unselfish, and it is enough for Azula to decide.
She instructs the servants to bring in multiple vessels of water. After the last containers are brought in, the two women bow to each other and begin their spar.
They test each other at first. A fireball to the feet to assess her footwork, a couple of ice shards here and there to probe her agility. A couple minutes of this continue, until Azula realizes that Katara is letting her decide the pace and intensity of the fight.
She decides to ramp it up. Azula follows through with stronger and faster blasts, and Katara evades them by sliding on ice ramps. She creates twin, low-strength fire whips to keep her at bay, but the Water Tribeswoman turns them to steam with circling water rings. The two trade blows for what feels like an hour, showcasing mastery over their respective elements, until finally Katara lands ice blocks on Azula's feet that force her to one knee. Azula attempts to push Katara back with a fire wall, but it's a moment too late - more ice blocks find their way around her hands, leaving her momentarily unable to bend.
Azula raises both hands in surrender, and Katara immediately withdraws the ice.
Both women pant, the exertion from the duel now catching up to them. Katara is the first to speak. "That was - that was awesome!"
Azula nervously grins, her chi still flowing with exhilaration. "It was. Much better than our last fight."
"Definitely." Katara extends a hand to help her up and she takes it. "You're the best I've ever fought, Azula. Then and now."
"I suppose you're not so bad for a waterbender yourself," she replies, all indignity from their previous duel forgotten. "I'm, uh, sorry I've avoided you all this time."
Katara smiles sympathetically. "There's nothing to apologize for." When Azula nods, she excitedly continues, "now, that fire wall move you were doing, you think I can do that with water?"
As Katara and her walk out of the room talking animatedly, Azula realizes that losing, perhaps, isn't so bad after all.
5.
Azula never cared much for children. Then Izumi came along.
She screamed endlessly when she was an infant. It set Azula's nerves on edge and more than once she threatened Zuko and Mai with building her own palace just to have some peace and quiet.
Then Izumi grew, and Azula thought she would conquer Ba Sing Se all over again just for this child.
The girl grows to be intrepid, loved, with a curious nature that rivals even the Avatar's. Azula sneaks her treats at night, tells her horror stories about Avatar Kyoshi, and shows her secret passages and nooks even the oldest servants don't know about.
Izumi slowly learns about the history of her family and her nation. They ask her to do right, to be brave and just and to protect the innocent, to choose good.
Azula knows the rest of the world sees her as a hallmark of peace, a future leader to continue the new era of prosperity for the Fire Nation, but for her, Izumi is a second chance to do things right. She doesn't always succeed in her mission, but she tries anyway.
When Izumi is seven, she asks Azula to show her lightning.
She'd been sitting on the balcony reading Roku's poetry when her niece runs in, babbling about the new things she learned in school. Despite her weight and growing size, she unhesitatingly climbs onto Azula's lap, just as she did when she was younger.
"So, what did my little scamp learn in school today?" She asks Izumi.
"We learned about lightning!"
It doesn't take much to surprise Azula, but this does. She knew Zuko, as part of his efforts to "demystify" the royal family, recently had the education - emphasis on education, not generation - of lightning integrated into the national curriculum, but it still surprised her that a once-rare skill was quickly becoming universal knowledge.
"And what did they teach you about it?" Azula inquires as she strokes her niece's hair.
Izumi's voice grows comically serious. "It's dangerous, and you should only use it on your worst enemies."
Azula remembers striking down a god in the caverns of Ba Sing Se.
She looks the child in the eye. "Not even that. But your teachers are right - lightning is not a toy. It is a sharp tool, Izumi, a terrible weapon."
Izumi looks more awed than frightened. "Can you show me? Just once?"
Azula remembers the first time Ozai showed her lightning, and the countless times he almost struck her with it as he taught her to generate it.
She shakes her head. "When you're older, and only when your parents say so." Azula indulges her niece in many things, but this is something she must take seriously.
Her niece pouts, but she doesn't argue the point. "Auntie, do you think lightning can be used for something nice? Something...not for fighting?"
Azula remembers the power of the Comet, almost killing her brother and Katara, the howling of Oh, I'll show you lightning she still hears in her dreams.
It is not a path she wants her niece to ever take.
"I don't know, darling. Maybe. And who knows, maybe you'll be the one to discover it."
Izumi grins, her expression full of youthful wonder. "I want to! It sounds cool!"
Azula hums as she rocks them back and forth in her chair. "If you ever do, promise you'll teach it to me."
"I promise," she murmurs as she buries her face in Azula's shoulder.
Azula thinks Izumi is the closest thing she'll ever have to a child, and vows to shape her into the woman and leader Azula could never be.
6.
Azula doesn't think of herself as an introspective person. Even when she sits in the gardens, she prefers to just be, rather than contemplate.
Just so, she hears the soft pacing of shoes on grass and turns around to see her brother approaching.
"Izumi wants to study in Republic City, rather than here in the Fire Nation." Zuko sighs and sits down next to her.
Azula pretends to be surprised. "Ah. Didn't realize our education system was failing under you."
She doesn't have to look to know that he's rolling his eyes. "You know what I mean. She still has much to learn here, and Mai and I don't want to see her go just yet."
"She's twelve. Almost the same age we were when I chased you and your friends around the world."
Zuko laughs, the lines around his eyes crinkling with mirth. "Can't argue with that. But we live in a peaceful world now."
"That we do." Azula lets the summer breeze wash over. She feels tranquil. "She's your heir - it's her right to travel the world. And even if she wasn't, I don't blame her for wanting to get away from the country for a bit. Let her explore, grow into herself. Let her see the 'world of peace' you created."
"We created."
"Ever the optimist, Zuzu."
Zuko doesn't reply. Azula can tell he's deep in thought, so she lets him be. She lets her thoughts drift as well, caressed by the serenity of the gardens.
"I miss him," Azula whispers after a while.
Zuko turns to her. "Who?"
"Cousin Lu Ten." Her eyes flick over to the spot in gardens where he once showed her how to make a fire sphere.
They don't talk about him much, even when they erected a soldier's memorial dedicated to him and the countless lives lost in the bloodshed. Azula visits the memorial from time to time, but she feels like it still isn't enough to honor the man - and men - who died far too young.
"I miss him too. Sometimes I think it should be him ruling, not me."
"Maybe." She smiles gently at him. "But you've been a good Fire Lord. Not the way I would've ruled...but good. I think he would've been proud of you, prouder than he would've been of me."
Zuko shakes his head. "You know that's not true. He would've been overjoyed to see how we turned out. How we're righting our family's wrongs."
He breathes in, then continues. "Izumi practically worships you, you know. And I couldn't have asked for a better daughter. Or sister."
"The honor is all mine," Azula replies, and they laugh - not as Fire Lord and Princess, but as brother and sister.
For a long time, Azula thought of herself as a broken woman, shattered by Ozai and burnt by war. But Zuko helps bind the pieces of her back together, and when the people she's grown to love and honor pick her up and keep her on her feet, she thinks she could be whole again.
NOTES
* The fire sphere Lu Ten shows Azula is the same move she uses in S02E08 ("The Chase") when she fights the Gaang and escapes. I thought it'd be nice for him to show her a defensive move to further his point about power and protection.
* I know neither Zuko nor Azula reflect much on Lu Ten in canon, but he was present in both their lives and I wanted to double down on the headcanon that he was loved by both of them. IRL, I do greatly love my older cousins, so there's also a little projection there :)
* Originally I was going to a put in a few lines in the Katara scene that foreshadows the two creating probending, but I couldn't really fit it in without it distracting from the main story. It's still one of my headcanons though!
* I wasn't sure if I wanted to write an Iroh scene because I don't think the two would have the best relationship, even with Azula being redeemed. I left it up to interpretation though, so whether or not they reconciled is up to you!
Reviews are appreciated!