John Phoenix was aboard the S.S. Phoenix, a cruise ship named in honor of the best defense attorney of the 21st century. He leaned over the railing on the deck with a glass in hand when suddenly the beautiful sunny weather faded, the whole world turned dark and rain hit the deck.
And then lightning hit the deck too!
Everyone started screaming and running around with their arms in the air as the ship began to sink into the sea.
Fortunately for John Phoenix, he brought a lifeboat, but it was only big enough to fit him, so he was forced to leave everyone else to drown.
John Phoenix rowed his lifeboat across the sea until he eventually arrived at an island with a big house on it. It was nearly midnight, so John Phoenix decided to rest here for the night. He walked up to the front door and knocked on it firmly.
A guy in white with red hair opened the door.
"Who the heck're you?" said the guy.
"I am John Phoenix and I am stranded on your island. Let me in so I can sleep."
"Sure, there's plenty of room here," said the guy, and he welcomed John Phoenix in. "My name is Battler!"
"What kind of stupid name is that? Change it as soon as you get home!" John Phoenix commanded the boy.
"Sorry!" Battler started to cry.
John Phoenix went into the house and walked down the hall. On the way to the dining room, they passed by a big painting of a woman of golden hair.
"Oh, that's Beatrice, the witch," said Battler.
"Didn't ask," said John Phoenix. "And witches aren't real. Stop being incompetent."
John Phoenix made it to the dining room at 11:59 PM and met the rest of the family, the house belonged to the Ushiromiya family. In that room he entered with Battler he met the siblings Krauss, Eva, Rudolf and Rosa, and their father, Kinzo. He met the siblings' kids who were George, Jessica and Maria, and the siblings' kids' other parents, Natsuhi, Hideyoshi and Kyrie. With them were the servants, Genji, Shannon, Kanon and Kumasawa, and the family doctor Nanjo was with them too.
"We are happy to have you here for the night John Phoenix (but after that you've gotta start paying rent)," said Krauss.
"We'll let ya stay in Eva's room, she won't mind," said Rudolf.
"Hee hee hee I love my gun!" Hideyoshi clutched an assault rifle excitedly.
Just then Gohda the chef came in with a plate covered by those metal things that hide the food.
"Dinner is served!" he said.
Everyone ignored him because they were too interested in John Phoenix.
But then John Phoenix became alerted to something.
"GET DOWN!" shouted John Phoenix and he hit the floor, but the others weren't so quick.
There was a GUNSHOT and suddenly, Nanjo's face had a big hole in it!
"WHAT THE- WHO DID THAT?" shouted Battler.
"I know," said John Phoenix, but then the clock struck midnight and the island exploded and everyone died.
The End!