Sir, we found her! We found Ms. Trinket…
Those probably were the happiest words he ever heard in a while. It's been months since he last saw her and their last meeting was not very pleasant. He had hurt her. He had to keep her safe but he was wrong. He didn't keep her safe. He put her in danger and she paid the price for his actions. She was not as blind as everyone thought of her. She knew he was up to something during the Quarter Quell and when it was time for him to go, she begged him to take her but he thought she would be safer in the Capitol so he said horrible things to her just to get her to stay. It was the most painful thing he had to do but he thought he was doing the right thing. It only took a few hours before he realized that he just made a mistake when Plutarch told him Effie was captured by the Peacekeepers.
He spent months trying to rescue her but managing a rebellion, Katniss, and politics had been hard. Many people died and after long agonizing months, they managed to find her.
He ran like his life depends on it to where they have taken her. They said she's alive so that's a good thing but he's already bracing himself to what his eyes will see. When he finally arrived outside of the room, Plutarch stopped him before he was able to get inside.
"Let go, Plutarch. I need to see her", he snarled.
"No, you don't want to see her right now", the former head gamemaker said.
"Don't make me hurt you. I said let go!" he yelled and pushed the man aside only to be slammed by Johanna to the side.
He turned to the girl and it took all he could not to retaliate. Her eyes are shining like she had been crying. What's going on? They said she's alive.
"Why won't you let me in? Didn't she want to see me? I know she hates me but I just want to see her. She can kick me out of the room later", his voice is already pleading.
He's desperate to see her.
"She's not the same", Johanna cleared her throat, "Whatever they did to Peeta, they screwed her up pretty badly", she said.
Plutarch lowered his head and dread sets in Haymitch.
Peeta was injected with tracker jacker venom which altered his memory of Katniss. Johanna said they Effie worse…how? How worse?
"Tell me", he urges.
"She doesn't recognize anyone, not even me and I spent months being her roommate in prison. It's like…it's like she's not Trinket anymore", she explained.
He cannot take it anymore. He has to see it for himself. He pushed Johanna aside and opened the door.
There she is. Effie Trinket lying on the bed. She looked so small in such huge bed. He noticed her injuries, her cuts and bruises, her significant amount of weight loss. They also had cut her hair. She seemed…normal aside from the things he observed that's until she turned her head to the side and her eyes caught sight of him.
He's not prepared on what happens next.
"You…" Effie suddenly bolted out of the bed and launched at him, "You killed them! You murdered them! You monster! How could you?! How could you kill them?!" she exclaimed frantically.
Her nails caught his cheek, his arms, before he tripped over and he landed back first with Effie on top of him trying to pounce on him but she's not yet strong enough to cause him damage. However, she's causing herself some damage. Her arm is already bleeding from her veins that was ruptured by the IV needle.
"Effie! Stop it! It's me!" he yelled back but she's just gone.
He grabbed her wrists to stop her from moving like that and further hurting her injured shoulder. Johanna burst into the room and yanked Effie away from him and Plutarch helped in getting her back to bed.
"He killed them…monster…he…" the doctor came and injected her some sedative, "…my family. He killed my family. He…a monster", her eyes closed and she went unconscious.
All of them were left stunned in the room. She failed to recognize everyone except for Haymitch but it's not the kind he was hoping for. He rubbed his face with his palm to compose himself.
"What the hell happened, Plutarch? Why does she think I murdered her family?" he asked.
He never liked her family and how they treated her but he's not going out of his way to kill them.
"Beetee found a video recording from the cameras installed inside the prison. Effie's mother, father, and sister were executed and they made her watch", Plutarch answered.
Images of his own family dying flashed in his brain. His throat ran dry and he's yearning for that burn that only a hard liquor can provide.
"So, she saw who killed them…I don't understand—"
"Maybe she just blames you. You did leave her to take the fall, right? She did and her family paid the price because of you. It's only natural for her to put the blame on you. I will be disappointed if she doesn't", Johanna cut him off.
He knows that. He knows he's to blame for the torture Effie endured but it doesn't sit right with him.
"I know that, Jo, but if that's the case she would have told me that because of me her family died. Didn't you hear her earlier? She said that I killed them. Effie is not one to get confused with her words. She believes that I did it", he argued.
The doctor cleared his throat to get their attention.
"Mr. Abernathy, if I may, you were right when you said Ms. Trinket believed that you killed her family. That's because of the amount of the tracker jacker venom in her body. It's way higher than what Mr. Mellark had in his body. I believe that the Peacekeepers had altered her memory of seeing her family died. Instead of seeing the Peacekeepers did it, they implanted you to take their place",
"Is that possible, doctor? I mean, I know memory alteration but what they did with Peeta Mellark was more of brainwashing. You're talking about replacing a figure in someone's memory with another figure", Plutarch asked.
"It's very critical, Mr. Heavensbee, and it takes a lot of time, but it is possible, yes. Given that Ms. Trinket has been a captive for months, they had an ample amount of time to go ahead with that procedure but not enough to completely reorganize her brain. That would explain why she couldn't recognize other people aside from Mr. Abernathy. They ran out of time", the doctor answered.
Memory alteration? Haymitch almost wants to throw up. He can't even picture it in his head the way they experimented on Effie's brain.
"…but it's reversible, right? Peeta is doing better. He stopped trying to kill Katniss. Trinket can get better too, right? She can snap out of whatever it is they did to her and go back to being annoying?" Johanna asked.
"I have high hopes since Mr. Mellark did remarkably well. We already started in draining her body with the venom. Of course, her memory has been damaged so she will need your help in restarting her brain. I don't think her entire memories have been wiped out…more like clouded due to the venom. She will need time but I think we can get her back", the doctor answered.
Time…Haymitch finds himself agreeing to anything the doctor says as long as he can get Effie back.
Each time he tries to talk to her, she goes ballistic. The doctor said it will be hard since he's the only one she can recognize and her memory of him has been altered. Haymitch kept his patience long. He endured all of her hurtful words, her deadly glares, her silence. After a week, she stopped trying to claw his eyes out. She accepted that she's not strong enough to match him.
Johanna and Annie helped in stirring up her memories. The doctor said they have extracted every bit of the venom from her system so it should be easier to help her remember. Haymitch watched from a far because Effie seemed to close off in herself whenever he's around. The girls told him she remembers a little bit about her life as an escort but she closed off each time they mentioned his name.
Unable to sit still, he poured his attention to Katniss and Coin's madness. They voted and then Katniss killed Coin. It all happened pretty fast. Chaos broke in the Capitol and everyone is on edge.
It was dead of night when he snuck in Effie's room. He's not expecting her to be awake. He just needs her, to be close to her without her looking at him with so much hate. He needs the calm she used to bring to him. Everything feels so out of control for him and he needs her to put him back to center.
"Why are you crying?" her voice snapped him out of his trance.
He hadn't realized he's been crying. She's looking at him curiously and for a moment, he waited for her to yell at him to get out of her room but she didn't. She's studying him carefully with those blue eyes he always adored.
"…just got something in my eyes, princess. Go back to sleep", he answered and carelessly wiped the tears from his face.
"I think…I think I saw you cry once before but I'm not sure", he stared at her, watching as she forced herself to remember, "I'm not sure about anything these days. Johanna and Annie said you didn't kill my family. They said the Peacekeepers did something to my brain to make me believe it was you", she said.
She's calm which is good. They can finally talk.
"That's true. I mean, I never liked them. That's no secret to you, sweetheart but I will never hurt them because that would be hurting you and I don't…I don't want to hurt you", he responded.
"…but you did hurt me", he stiffened, "You left. I remember that night. It was crystal clear. I knew you were leaving and I didn't want to be left behind because I knew something bad was going to happen but you told me…you said I meant nothing to you. You said, I was nothing more than just a good fuck for you. You told me you can never care for someone like me",
Each word felt like a knife being stabbed in his heart. He did say those words. He said them to keep her safe but he was wrong.
"I thought you will be safe in the Capitol. You're Capitol. You should be safe in your own city but I was wrong. I wanted to keep you safe and bringing you with me…the mission was unpredictable. We could get blown up in the sky and I couldn't risk you dying like that so I left. I didn't mean any of those things. I'm sorry, sweetheart. You're more than that to me. You know that, princess, deep down…I hope", he explained or at least tried to.
He can never take back those words. Perhaps, it's why it's so easy for the Peacekeepers to alter her memories. It's because of that night. He already had hurt her. He planted the seeds and the Peacekeepers only watered it and allowed it to bloom.
"Johanna told me that too, well, in her own way. Plutarch explained the rest. I want to believe that I meant more but I couldn't be so sure. Every time I look at you, I can see you shooting a gun on my mother's head and my father's and sister's. They showed me the video and it was not you but I can't erase it from my head", she said.
That's good news, right? He thought. She's trying and he can be more patient.
"That's alright, princess. No one's rushing you. Take your time and everything will come back to you", he replied.
For the first time since she woke up, she gave him a smile. It's only for a few seconds but it managed to make him feel better. It took everything he has to fight the tears from falling from his eyes. He's been longing to see that smile for so long. He almost thought he would never see that again.
"Will you tell me what you're doing here in the middle of the night then?" she suddenly asked.
He wants to jump in glee. She's trying to have a conversation with him!
"A lot of things have happened, sweetheart. Everything is out of control and…well, when things used to be so chaotic around me, you're always there to calm me down. I thought…well, I didn't mean to wake you up. I just want to be close to you", he answered.
He's not used to admitting his feelings out loud but they've both suffered from suppressing everything down due to the danger of their surroundings. He wasted so much time already.
"That's alright. It gets lonely in here when it's dark. I don't mind if you'll come here…just, don't get mad when I don't react well. It's just for a few seconds but it'll pass", she said.
"I don't think I can get mad at you, princess, even if I try", he replied.