Tomato Philosophy
By Bashfulglowfly
"Bye!"
"See you later!"
Sasuke closed and locked the door behind their departing friends and looked at his husband sprawled across their sofa.
It had been their weekly movie night with their friends and Naruto had gotten the bright idea to have a drinking game where people would draw a piece of paper that had a word or phrase on it and every time it came up during the movie, the person would have to take a drink.
Naruto drew the word "motherfucker."
It was a Samuel L. Jackson movie.
Sasuke thanked all the gods that they were at their own apartment, and he only had to steer his VERY drunk husband only a few feet to their bed. With the help of Sakura, he'd gotten Naruto to drink two glasses of water and take some aspirin. On the other hand, I just might leave his drunk ass here…
"Gotta pee!" came the grand yet slurred announcement.
Leaving the drunk on the sofa was now NOT an option. Even if the sofa was leather.
Sasuke pulled Naruto to his feet and steered him to the bathroom. Sasuke had hoped that if he was ever going to help someone pee, it would be his child. Not his husband.
"Tha' wa'a fun game!"
"And we're never playing it again."
"Meeeeannnn…"
"Whatever." Sasuke guided Naruto into the bedroom and made him stand relatively still as Sasuke pulled Naruto's shirt over his head.
"Tomatoes are fruit!"
"Yes, I'm well aware of that."
"But you can't put 'em ina fruit salads."
"No. You really shouldn't." Sasuke lightly pushed Naruto onto the bed and began removing Naruto's pants and underwear. Fortunately, neither of them wore their shoes in their apartment.
"Salsa's a 'mato-based fruit salads." Came the solemn and drunkenly enunciated pronouncement.
Sasuke rolled his eyes and shifted Naruto so that he was laying properly on the bed.
"An' ke'chup is a tomato smoothie!"
Sasuke froze. Then he growled "No. And you need to shut up now."
Sasuke pulled the pillow out from under Naruto's head and dropped it on his face.
"Meeeaaannn!"