Hello, my lovely readers! It's been a while. I had the idea for this a couple of months ago and now I finally am putting it to fruition. as you can tell, i based it off of parachute. it's one of my favorite songs from a&a altogether and it's very special to me. It has a very different vibe altogether from Two in a Million (my first work, for those that don't know); I will warn you this three-shot is not uplifting in any means (I definitely teared up writing this, if that's any consolation). Which brings me to my next point about two in a million: if you haven't read it, don't read this three-shot. It won't make sense (plus it contains spoilers). Go read two in a million, and then come back to this one! I like to think that this mini fanfic will give us an idea of what happened during the parts of the story we didn't get to see. For this chapter, it corresponds with 16 and 17. If you haven't read those in a while, I'd advise going back and rereading them, just to refresh your memory.

Again, this first part corresponds with 16 and 17. I also wanted to put a content warning out there: this chapter contains references to food/not eating, loss, depression, and anxiety. I say this because I don't want it to be a surprise to anyone, and I don't want to make anybody upset. I felt it was important to put out there.

Alright... that's all for now, I guess. Thanks for all your guys' support on two in a million. I'll talk to you guys at the end.

(Kayla, please don't kill me for this :'))

-Ej

**not edited

one: far away dreams

october 17th, 2021

around 2 a.m.

"Austin?" Austin's eyes snapped open and he rolled over on his other side to face Ally. She scooted closer to him, letting out a slight whimper at the sound of his voice.

"Ally?" he asked. "Everything okay?"

"Austin," Ally said with a shaky voice. That's when he remembered.

"Hey," he whispered. Austin sat up in the bed, propping himself up with one arm as Ally leaned into him, her tears soaking his shirt. Her sobs, though muffled, seemed to echo throughout the empty house. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her, rubbing her back with one hand. "Shhh, it's okay." Austin kissed the top of her forehead lightly. "It's okay, Als. I'm here." Though the sound of her crying absolutely destroyed him inside, he fought back the urge to start crying himself and instead pulled his wife closer to his body.

"I...I..." she stuttered, before bursting into tears again.

"It's okay. You don't need to...to say anything," Austin choked. A stray tear made its way down his face. He quickly wiped it away, sniffling, and focused back on Ally.

"I h-had a... I... had a b-bad dream..."

"Shhh..." Austin whispered.

"The... the baby..." she paused, squeezing her eyes shut. Ally's heart was beating so loudly that she was sure Austin could hear it. "It... it survived." Austin nodded. "But then... then they took it away from me." She exhaled shakily, then inhaled.

Ally hiccupped, then threw her head back, letting out a small groan. "They t-took away the baby and wouldn't...wouldn't tell us why..." Tears started to form in her eyes again. "And then... I woke up and I realized..." her voice trailed off, disappearing into sobs.

Austin stared through the darkness down at Ally, his stomach churning itself into knots. He felt like he was going to be sick. He'd never seen Ally like this, and he wasn't sure what to do.

Austin flipped the bedside lamp on and squinted as his eyes adjusted to the dim light. Ally leaned into him, still whimpering a bit. Her head was resting in the crook of his neck and her arms were wrapped tightly around his stomach. Austin reached down and kissed her hairline again. Another tear slid down Ally's cheek.

"I love you," Austin whispered. When she didn't respond, he continued, "It'll be alright. We're going to get through this."

How are you so sure about that? Ally thought.

five minutes later

"Ally," Austin whispered. When there was no response, he looked down to see that she was sleeping. He reached down, planted a light kiss on her forehead, and gently lay her back down on her pillow. He pulled the covers over the top of her, up to her shoulders, reached over to turn the lamp off again and lay down on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Until now, Austin had never experienced something so painful, so gut-wrenching, so utterly devastating. He lay there, eyes open, staring into the darkness, until his eyes forced themselves to shut, and he finally drifted off to sleep again.

6:45 a.m.

Austin rolled over in bed, squinting at the time displayed on the alarm clock next to him. 6:45? he thought. Groaning, he rolled out of bed, being careful not to wake Ally, grabbed a random shirt and shorts, and stumbled into the bathroom. He ran a comb through his hair once, deciding that was enough, and went downstairs. Upon realizing that their cupboards weren't yet filled with cups, he went over to the living room to dig through the boxes labeled 'kitchen.' Austin picked up the one with Ally's smiling face on it—the one that was a part of the 'Ally' merchandise Trish had made— and brought it over to the coffee maker. He opened the cupboard above it, groaning again when that one was empty, too. He remembered his conversation with Ally the previous night, before they'd gone to the hospital, and wondered if he should leave Ally alone to go shopping or wait until she felt better. The morning would be the best time to go grocery shopping— the store would be dead and he definitely wouldn't have to deal with the paparazzi or fans. Ally wouldn't be up for a few more hours, anyway, he decided, grabbing his keys from the kitchen table and heading out to the garage.

Austin drove to the store in silence— he usually put music on but today he wasn't in the mood for it. At one point, his eyes threatened to close while he was at a stop sign but he shook himself awake, deciding that he needed to turn on the radio if he was going to avoid getting into a crash.

As he drove, Austin listened to the two morning announcers on the radio make small talk. It might not have been that entertaining, but at least it kept him awake.

Now, John, I don't know about you, but I'm in the mood for something... soft and slow this morning, he said.

Oh, yeah, definitely, John replied. It's just one of those mornings— the temperature is still pretty cool outside and we're right smack dab in the middle of the fall season here in Miami. Austin rubbed his eyes and yawned, squinting at the sun that was peeking over the horizon.

The first announcer chuckled. Definitely agree with you on that one. I don't know what I'm in the mood for, though.

Well, Tim, to be honest, we haven't played one of Ally Dawson's songs in a while. Austin's eyes widened. No, he silently begged, please no, not today.

Ahhh, right. Songwriting sensation and partner—in more ways than one— to Austin Moon, she made her singing debut with him onstage at the Jungle Café in 2013. What a year that was, huh, John?

It was indeed, Tim. Anyway, enough of this small talk. Let's play a song, shall we?

That is what we're getting paid to do, isn't it? Tim joked. Austin didn't laugh. The one I had in mind is one of my wife's favorites by her, so I'd like to dedicate this one to her—Heather, this is for you. This is Parachute by Ally Dawson.

Austin's eyes widened. When the heard the first gentle notes of the piano, he immediately reached over and turned the radio down. He had a feeling he wouldn't be able to listen to that song for a while, after what happened just hours earlier.

When Austin finally reached the store, he swung into one of the many vacant parking spots and put the car into park. He walked into the store, grabbed a cart, and exhaled, not even sure where to start. She just had to insist that we throw everything away, huh? he thought as he made his way down the first aisle.

ten minutes later

Austin stood at the end of the aisle, staring at the containers of pickles. He hadn't realized how hard it would be to pick out something so simple. There was kosher or non-kosher, baby or regular-sized, sandwich slices or spears. If he was being honest, Austin had no idea what Ally liked. She was very particular about her pickles, and she always insisted on picking them out herself.

So, he got a bit of everything. One jar of baby pickles, one jar of regular-sized, one jar of bread & butter, and lastly, one jar of the sandwich slices. He nodded, putting the four jars into the cart along with the items he'd already gotten: one loaf of bread, one package of hamburger buns, and a container of peanut butter and jelly, along with some condiments; ketchup, mustard, and barbecue sauce. All the essentials.

When he got to the next aisle, Austin piled as many snack foods into the cart as he could. Goldfish, Cheez-Its, fruit snacks, pretzels— you name it, he probably bought it. The entire time, all he thought about was how to make Ally feel better. When the cart was about halfway full, he decided it was probably time to move onto the "healthy" stuff.

an hour and a half later

around 8:30 a.m.

With an overflowing cart and a growling stomach, Austin headed to checkout. He'd managed to singlehandedly rack up the bill to about $400, double checking everything on the list to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. He wanted to make sure that Ally didn't have to lift a finger, even when she felt well enough to do so.

When he finally got back home, Austin unloaded all of the groceries into the fridge and pantry, putting everything where he thought Ally would want it to go. When he got back downstairs from checking on Ally, he started mixing the pancake ingredients together. He stared down at the bowl, listening to the sound of the whisk scraping against the side of it. After he had poured the batter onto the griddle, he looked out toward the living room, where there were boxes upon boxes piled up, taking up almost every inch of the room. Austin sighed.

How in the world am I going to unpack all of this by myself?

After the pancakes had finished cooking, Austin scraped them off the griddle and stacked the two small, perfectly round pancakes on his paper plate. He grabbed the syrup he'd just bought that morning and dumped it on top. He stared at them for about ten seconds, his stomach making obnoxious growling noises. He was so hungry— why wasn't he eating?

Then, it dawned on him. Nobody knows what happened last night except me and Ally. Austin sighed, realizing what he needed to do.

five minutes later

Austin fought to hold back more tears as he stared at the sentimental messages coming through in the group chat. He sniffed, scratched his nose, and leaned back, groaning. He thought that sympathy texts would make him feel better but they were just doing the opposite. The sadness turned into anger as he pounded the card table with his fist. The fork sitting next to his plate flew about a half inch into the air. Why us? he thought. Why now?

Austin was interrupted from his thoughts as his phone started to buzz next to him. He looked down to see that his mom was calling him. He groaned, reached down to pick it up and pressed 'answer' with a shaky hand.

"He-hello?" he said with a shaky voice.

"Hey, sweetie," Mimi answered. Her voice was low and sympathetic, like he'd expected. "I just wanted to call and see if you guys needed anything. I'm so sorry about what happened."

"Th-thanks," he choked. Austin tried to hold back his tears but evidently failed. He sobbed into his hands as Mimi listened on the other end, getting emotional herself.

"How's Ally doing?" she asked.

"Not... not well," Austin answered, trying to pull himself together. "She's st-still in bed."

"Do you need help unpacking?" Mimi asked. "It's gonna be pretty hard to unpack everything by yourse—"

"Mom, I'm fine!" Austin yelled. His eyes widened. "Um... I mean... Um..." he stuttered. He'd only yelled at his parents a few times in his life, and he usually got in trouble every time. Austin's eyes welled up with tears again. "I'm sorry mom..."

"Austin, sweetie, don't worry about it, alright? You're going through a lot right now." She paused. "I think I'm just gonna let you go, okay? Give you a little space."

"Um, yeah," Austin replied. "I think that'd be... good." There was another awkward moment of silence before Mimi bade him goodbye. Austin hung up the phone, set it down on the table, and puffed out his cheeks, slowly letting the air seep out of them. He leaned back in his chair and tilted his head back, staring up at the ceiling. A few seconds later, he sat up again, remembering that he still had to figure out how to clean the car seat off. Groaning, he stood up, grabbed his plate of pancakes and scraped them into the garbage. He grabbed his phone and his car keys and went out to the garage.

five minutes later

Austin stood in front of the passenger seat, holding the door open with one hand and scrolling through Google with the other. Surely there had to be a WikiHow page telling people how to remove stains from leather car seats, right?

He sighed, clicking on one link and scrolling down. One cup of vinegar, a few drops of dish soap, and a gallon of hot water. Austin shrugged. Seemed easy enough. He closed the car door and headed back inside to grab the materials.

Once Austin had mixed all the ingredients together in the bucket, he lugged it out to the garage and set it down, exhaling deeply. He reached out to open the car door, grabbed the rag out of the bucket, then started scrubbing.

fifteen minutes later

Austin ran a hand through his hair, throwing down the rag in defeat. He stared down at the seat. The stains were still there, just fainter now. Austin was determined to remove any evidence of the previous night, for Ally's sake, knowing it would help her heal if she didn't have to be reminded of it every day. When he bent down to scrub the seat again and looked to the left, Austin gulped. There it was, still sitting on the floor of the backseat where he'd thrown it the night before.

The towel.

Just when he thought he had taken care of every single sign that would point back to the miscarriage— running both his and Ally's clothes from the day before through the washer and dumping a ton of stain remover in with it, scrubbing the floor and the car seat, starting to slowly unpack the plethora of boxes in their living room— along came the towel. Austin reached back and grabbed it with a shaky hand, leaving the wet rag sitting on the seat as he went back inside and made a mental note to wash the towel later. He put it on top of the washer and was about to go back outside when his cell phone rang again. This time, the contact picture wasn't of his mom, but of his redheaded best friend.

Austin gulped, then pressed answer. He wasn't about to send Dez to voicemail, even though at the moment he kind of wanted to.

"Hey, Dez," he answered. "What... what's up?"

"Hey, buddy," Dez replied. "Just wanted to call and see how you were doing. I'm so sorry about what happened, man."

"Thanks, Dez." A tear slipped down his cheek. "That means a lot." He sniffed and wiped it away.

On the other end of the line, Dez nodded as he paced the length of his kitchen. He never knew what to say with things like this. "So, um... do you need any help unpacking or anything?" he asked awkwardly. "I, uh, have some free time today."

"That's okay, Dez. Thanks for offering, but I think I'd rather just be here alone. With Ally, of course." Dez nodded again.

"How's Ally doing?" he asked.

"Not good. I hate seeing her like this, it just... it just sucks, Dez." He paused. "I should get going. I need to start working on that new song for our EP."

"Good luck. Call if you need anything."

"Thanks, Dez."

"Any time, golden toes."

half an hour later

9:30 a.m.

Austin sat on the bench by the keyboard he'd just set up in the living room, staring down at the songbook that Ally had gotten him all those years ago. There still wasn't a single word written in it, and he was determined to change that. He just wished he was capable of writing songs by himself. For now, Austin just imagined what the conversation would be like if she were down there with him.

"So," he mumbled to himself, "first, I would say, 'how about this chord'?" he reached out and played a C major chord. "And then, she would say, 'that's good, but this one is better.'" He played an E major chord and sighed, smiling a little. "And then I would say 'you're right. You're right about everything.' and then, if I'm lucky our hands would touch, and we'd look at each other..." His smile faded. Austin swore he could feel his heart drop into his stomach. "And then..." a tear slipped out of his eye. He wiped it away. "My heart would start beating so hard, I would be worried that it would beat right out of my chest. Because that's how she makes me feel..." His words were cut off when he felt more tears come on. Setting his book down, he bowed his head and cried into his hands. He didn't care if she heard him— he didn't care if anybody heard him.

half an hour later

10:00 a.m.

Austin readjusted the positioning of his body on the cold linoleum bathroom floor so his legs were out in front of him instead of off to the side. He cradled Ally in his arms, listening to the sound of her soft breathing as she leaned into him further. Her head was nestled in the crook of his neck and her legs were curled up so they sat on top of his. Austin sighed as he looked down at her, planting a kiss on her forehead. He heard her stomach grumbling, and she opened her eyes at the sound but didn't move a muscle.

"When's the last time you've eaten something?" he whispered. No answer. "Ally..." She stayed silent. "You have to eat, baby." Austin thought he heard her whimper, but he couldn't tell what she was trying to say.

"Ally..." he said again.

"Not hungry," she croaked.

"You have to be. You haven't eaten since last night," he argued. "Let me make something for you. Anything you want." He paused. "I got groceries this morning." Ally just shook her head. After a few seconds passed, she shivered suddenly, and Austin wrapped his arms around her. "Let's get you back into bed where it's warm then, huh?" Ally nodded. Slowly but surely, she crawled off of his lap and onto the floor, her whole body visibly shaking. Austin helped her up to her feet and when she stumbled forward, he picked her up bridal-style and carried her out of the bathroom, into the bedroom, and over to her side of the bed. He set her down on the bed and covered her up with the blankets. After a minute she stopped shivering. Austin reached over, cupped her cheek, and stroked it with his thumb.

"It'll get better, Als. I promise." After giving her one last kiss on the forehead, he pulled the blankets up even more and tucked them in at her sides. Austin left the room, shutting one of the double doors all the way and leaving the other halfway open.

the next morning

october 18th

around 11:15 a.m.

Austin stood in the living room, staring at the cardboard boxes stacked on top of each other like building blocks. He didn't know how much longer he could go on like this. The night before he had been racking his brain trying to think of ways to cheer her up a little bit, but he couldn't think of anything. Exhausted and fed up, he'd fallen asleep not long after 9:00. He'd decided that he probably wasn't capable of cheering Ally up when he wasn't in the best mood himself.

When he woke up the next morning, Austin had changed his mind. He'd promised to stick by Ally's side until the very end, and that meant through the ups and downs of life. Austin was certain that this was just one of the downs, and while it may take both of them a while to recover, she would eventually return to being her normal, perky, adorable, nerdy self. He decided that he shouldn't rush her grieving process, but he could at least try to make her feel a little bit better. After doing some research on the internet, Austin grabbed his car keys and headed out to the garage. He started his car and backed out of the driveway. He knew what he needed to do.

twenty five minutes later

When Austin arrived at the store, he went straight to the beauty/ self-care section of the store and paused for several minutes in front of the bath bombs display. There were many different types of bath bombs that he knew Ally would probably like— but he was indecisive, so he ended up getting three different kinds. He set them in the cart and headed over to the candy aisle, then threw in some specialty chocolate and moved Austin then swung over to the tea aisle to get some tea for Ally, and then over to the greeting cards. On the post he'd read online, it had said to get a card for someone when they're feeling down. The only problem was he didn't know what type of card would make her feel better. Would she want a funny one? A serious one? A sympathetic one?

In the end, Austin decided to get a blank card and write his own message in it. It would feel more sincere if it came from his heart, anyway.

Austin rounded out the shopping trip by getting Ally some multivitamins and ibuproufen—something he'd forgotten to get when he'd been here the day before. He also grabbed a large bouquet of flowers before heading to checkout. After paying for his items, he took the bag of goodies out to his car and set it in the passenger seat.

When Austin got home and pulled into the garage, he grabbed the bag of goodies and headed inside. Here goes nothing, he thought.

Ally jumped at the sound of Austin coming in through the garage door. She'd been in the bathroom because she felt sick to her stomach but being that she hadn't eaten in over a day, nothing came out. She crawled on her hands and knees back out of the bathroom and over to the bed, hoisting herself up and pulling the covers up to her shoulders again.

When Austin got into the house, he searched through the boxes for a glass vase and filled it with water for the flowers. He thought that he had remembered hearing her say that it was her favorite vase— something about it being in the family for several years. Shrugging, Austin put the flowers inside the vase and grabbed a pen, sitting down at the table with the card that said "Thinking of You" in front of him. He opened it and stared at the blank inside for a solid fifteen seconds.

What am I supposed to write in something like this? Sighing, he finally picked up the pen.

Ally,

I know that you can't talk right now, maybe not for a few days even, but you like reading so I got you this. I've been unpacking downstairs and I got groceries (plus some fun snacks). I'm not really sure what else to write. We're both shocked and scared and hurting so we need to lean on each other. Remember that I'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on. Anything you need, that's what I'll be. You can always come to me. I love you so much. Remember that.

Love,

Austin 💙

By the time Austin had finished writing the letter, five minutes had passed and he was tearing up himself. He set the pen down and shoved the letter inside the envelope, then wrote for my love on the front. Was it cheesy? Yes. Did Austin care? Not one bit.

When Austin looked up and to the right at all of the cardboard boxes in the living room, he noticed a familiar face sticking out of the loose flap of one of the bigger ones. Furrowing his brow, Austin stood up and went over to the box, lifting the flap. He couldn't help but smile as he pulled Dougie the Dolphin out of the box.

"Dougie," he whispered, holding it close to his body, "It's good to see you, old friend." Austin grinned slightly as he brought the dolphin, along with the other items, upstairs with him.

"Hey, Ally-gator," Austin whispered as he pushed the door open ever-so-slightly. She was right where he expected her to be— lying under the covers, her facial expression unreadable and her eyes threatening to close. "I brought you something." He held the stuffed dolphin up in front of his face. "Remember this guy?" He peeked out from behind the stuffed animal, frowning. "It's Dougie..." But Ally was already asleep.

Austin groaned. It seemed like every time he came into the room, she was sleeping. Would this ever end?

Sighing, he set the dolphin down on the bed next to her. He figured that she'd realize it was there eventually as he took one look back at her and left the room, shutting the door behind him.

fifteen minutes later

around noon

When Ally woke up, she stared down at the stuffed animal, her vision a bit blurry. She sat up, but her head spun at the sudden movement and she sank back down into her pillow. To tell the truth, all that Ally wanted to do was sink into her bed so far that she disappeared altogether.

When her vision went back to normal after a few seconds, she realized that Austin had brought Dougie upstairs and her jaw dropped. Reaching her hand out, Ally pulled the stuffed dolphin close to her body and brought her legs up close to her stomach, already getting emotional again. She let the tears seep out of her eyes and onto the dolphin's faux fur, holding back as much as she could. When she looked over at the dresser and saw the flowers, chocolate, and card, though, Ally completely lost it.

Ally knew that her husband would hear her— there was no doubt about that. And she knew that he would come running and hold her in his arms and assure her that everything would be okay. That was all he'd been doing for the past couple of days. But part of her didn't want him to hear. Part of her wanted him to just... let her cry— to get it all out. Which is why, when she heard his soft, light footsteps approaching from outside the bedroom, Ally completely froze.

"Ally?" Austin whispered. He pushed open the double doors and frowned as he stepped inside the bedroom, coming toward her cautiously. He glanced from the items on the dresser, to Ally, then to Dougie, and back. Austin cleared his throat. "Uhm, I thought I heard something and I wanted to make sure you were okay." Ally said nothing. "Uh," he said, scratching the back of his head, "I got you a card. I didn't know if you... if you've read it or not, but..." he cleared his throat again. "There's uh... there's a chance that you may not be able to remember everything I'm about to say, but I just... I just need to say it. I wanted to before, but you were asleep, so..." Austin paused.

"I just need to you know that..." Another pause. Austin felt a lump form in his throat. Please no, not now... He grabbed a folding chair from the other side of the room and dragged it over to Ally's bedside. "Do you remember when I said that everything's better with you? My singing, my dancing, my... my everything..." He sniffed, blinking back the tears that were stinging his eyes. "I'm not myself when you're not around, Ally. And to be honest, I..." He paused again, attempting to pull himself together. "I just don't know what to do..." Austin reached for her hand, which was laying by her side. She blinked slowly as she looked up at him. He gave it one big squeeze and looked deep into her eyes. "I know you might not be able to say it back, but... I love you. So much. Just know that." Austin reached forward and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. Ally's eyes closed at the sensation and slowly opened again.

"I..." she croaked, her voice cracking after not having spoken for the past several hours, "I love... you too." Austin's eyes filled with tears as he reached forward and kissed Ally on the lips, cupping her cheek with his hand. Ally kissed him back with all she had— which wasn't much, given that she hadn't eaten in almost two days. When Austin pulled back, Ally was on the brink of tears again. So he jumped up from the chair, climbed into bed from his side, and held her while she let it all out.

the next day

october 19th

around 1:30 p.m.

Austin kept himself busy by setting up the equipment in the studio while Ally showered. He set the keyboard on the right side of the room facing the wall, put a music stand behind it and set up his guitar next to that. Once he found the seat for the keyboard, he set it in front and grabbed a folding chair for himself. He stood there for a few minutes, just admiring the setup. It wasn't much— sure he'd set it up within about three minutes, and compared to the size of the room, it seemed small— but as he'd learned the past few days, you have to take baby steps before you try to jump over hurdles.

Austin pulled out his phone, remembering that Trish was supposed to come over at seven, and dialed her number. He waited patiently as it rang, a small smile creeping onto his face as he thought about how proud he was of Ally. After about three rings, Trish picked up.

"Hello?" she answered, almost hesitantly.

"Hey, Trish," Austin said.

"What's up, Austin? Everything okay there? If you want me to come earlier, I can— I mean I'm sure this meeting could probably be rescheduled, especially if this is an emergency—"

"Trish," he interrupted, "Everything's good here. I wanted to let you know that Ally's out of bed and we're about to start working on a song. So, you probably don't even have to come over now." There was a pause on the other end of the line.

"Are... are you sure?" she asked, in almost a whisper. Austin grinned.

"Positive. I can tell she's still hurting, but..." he paused. "A good friend once told me that music has healing powers. So I think this will help." Trish frowned.

"Which friend was that?" she asked. "Dez? He's not that wise."

"No," Austin replied, "It was Ally." He shook his head, stifling a laugh. "Well, anyway, I've gotta go. Ally will be down in a minute. Talk to you later?"

"Yeah. Bye, Austin." Trish hung up the phone, a smile spreading across her face. She went back to working on her computer, suddenly in a much better mood.

When Ally came downstairs a few minutes later, Austin stood up and went over to her, pulling her into a hug and planting a light kiss on her forehead.

"You smell nice," he muttered. Ally grinned.

"Thanks. Now, are we doing this, or what?"

Austin nodded. "Let's do it." He grabbed her hand and they walked over to the piano together, Ally sitting down on the bench and Austin planting himself right next to her. Ally sighed, looking up at him.

"I hope this," she gestured to her clothes, a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants, "is okay attire for our songwriting session. I'm not usually this lazy, but I'm still having some cramps and—"

"Ally," he interrupted, putting his hand on top of hers, "you look beautiful, as always." Ally looked down at her lap, blushing. "It doesn't matter what you wear."

"Thanks." He nodded.

"Any time. Now, what do you say we get started on this song?" Ally nodded.

"Yeah. Sounds good." She pulled out her notebook and set it on top of the music stand. She sighed again, pausing for a second before speaking up. "So, what kind of song do we want this to be? Happy? Sad? Emotional?"

"I dunno." Austin shrugged. "Whatever you want it to be."

Ally rolled her eyes. "Well, that doesn't help me at all."

"What?" he frowned. "I usually let you pick the mood. You're the songwriter."

"Yes, but this is a partnership, which means both of us have an equal part in writing the song. That won't happen if you let me do everything. We've been over this before."

"Okay, ummm..." he paused. "What about a happy one, then?" Ally hesitated.

"I... I don't know, Austin. After these past few days..." She looked up at him, already feeling the tears prick at her eyes. "You know what, you're right. Let's just do that. I— this is so stupid..." she bowed her head as the drops landed on her sweatpants. Austin frowned.

"Hey..." he scooted onto the bench beside her, rubbing her back with one hand. "If you're not ready, we can wait a little longer." He pulled her in closer. "These past few days have been... a lot." Ally sniffed.

"You mean it?" she asked.

Austin nodded. "Yeah. Whatever you want to do. Take your time." Ally nodded. After thinking for a few seconds, she looked back up at him.

"You know what?" she said, "I think I'm ready." A small grin grew on Austin's face.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I think so." She paused, as if she wasn't quite certain. "I once heard someone say that music has healing powers." Austin grinned.

"Y'know, I think that I've heard that saying, too." Ally punched him lightly in the shoulder. "Really? Who?"

"Eh, nobody important." The grin turned into a smirk and Ally rolled her eyes.

"Typical." Austin gaped, suddenly offended.

"What was that for?"

Ally smiled. "For being a dork."

"Two can play at that game." He punched her back, earning a little whimper from her.

"Owwww, that actually hurt!"

"Hey, you asked for it!"

Ally rolled her eyes again, shaking her head a little. "We're getting sidetracked. We're supposed to be working on the song."

"Right. That." Austin turned his attention back toward the piano, where he played around with some chords until he found one that both he and Ally liked. From there, they worked on the lyrics and ended up making more progress than either of them thought was possible.

The rest of the day was spent unpacking and discussing the upcoming EP (and a little bit of messing around). Both of their moms had even called them at different points throughout the day to check in on Ally and ask if they needed anything. It made Austin really happy to see Ally laughing and smiling — he decided he'd do anything if it meant he'd never have to see her cry again.

one day later

After another day and a half of working on the song, unpacking, and browsing for equipment they could put in the studio, the two of them sat down to eat their dinner at about 5:00. By then, Austin was starving, and he'd insisted on ordering out from a nice restaurant so Ally wouldn't have to cook. Every time he asked, she always said that she was fine, but he still wasn't convinced. He didn't want her to take on more than she could handle, especially now. Plus, this was the first song they'd written in a while, and that called for celebration, in Austin's opinion.

He came back in the door, carrying a giant takeout bag and set it on the makeshift dining room table. He let out a sigh and looked around for Ally, confused when he didn't see her.

"Als?" he asked, heading toward the staircase. "Where are you?"

"Up here," Ally called from upstairs. Austin ascended the stairs and found her in one of the spare bedrooms, unpacking some boxes. He leaned against the doorframe, grinning.

"Hey. Dinner's ready."

"Great, just give me a sec and I'll be down."

"Sweet." Instead of heading back downstairs, though, Austin stayed in the doorway, watching her unpack. She looked back at him after a few seconds, a little annoyed.

"Why are you still here?"

"Waiting for you. I want to make sure that you actually come downstairs and eat." Ally rolled her eyes.

"Austin..."

"Don't 'Austin' me." he stepped inside the room, glancing around. "You've made good progress in here. Come downstairs, or the food's gonna get cold."

"I dunno if you've heard, but there's this magical thing called the microwave," Ally muttered as she opened another box with the boxcutter knife, "it allows you to heat up cold food. A great invention, really."

"Ally."

"What?" she snapped, looking up at him again. Austin's eyes widened, a little caught off guard by her tone of voice.

Austin cleared his throat, taking a tiny step back. "Um, not gonna lie, that scared me a bit, but... you know what scares me more?" Ally shrugged. "The thought of losing you." She looked up at that, her cheeks suddenly turning pink. She set the boxcutter down and stepped towards him.

"Austin, you're never gonna lose me."

"That's not true," he whispered. "One day..." he cut himself off, shaking his head. "I'm worried about you, Ally. You've barely eaten anything the past few days and we haven't been able to have a real conversation about... the thing, because you keep avoiding the subject."

"Can you blame me?" Ally's eyes were starting to water now. "I spent three days in bed, sulking about it. It makes sense that I'd want to move on."

"I'm pretty sure it takes more than three days for someone to recover from something like this," he said, reaching for her hand. He gave it a squeeze. "It's not healthy to keep avoiding it like this." There was a moment of silence between them. "Now, come downstairs with me. The food's getting cold," Austin repeated.

"I'm not even hungry," Ally shot back.

Austin raised an eyebrow. "Not even a little bit?"

"Well, maybe a little," Ally admitted. Austin dragged her out of the bedroom and down the stairs to the blue card table, which was currently serving as their makeshift dining table. "Wow, that... smells good," she commented. "What all did you get?"

"I'm glad you asked," Austin replied, smirking. "There's this really nice place down the street." he paused as he pulled the containers out of the bag, "that supposedly has really great mac n' cheese." Ally mustered a smile and shrugged.

"What?" he asked, beaming from ear to ear. "I got extra of it so we'll have leftovers."

"I'm not that hungry."

"I know that's not true." Austin reached down and put his hand underneath Ally's chin, gently bringing it upwards so that she couldn't avoid his gaze. "Ally, I've been worried sick about you these past couple of days. You know that, right?" She shrugged.

"You may have mentioned it once or twice." she paused. "that's not why, though— I was in the mood to unpack, but you dragged me down here just to tell me that you got something we could have picked up at the store for ninety-nine cents a box. And since I'm not hungry and there's still packing to do, I'm going to go back upstairs."

"Ally..."

"Don't 'Ally' me. I'm an adult; I can take care of myself—" She wriggled out of his grasp and started grumpily toward the staircase.

"Would you just please listen to me?" Ally stopped in her tracks and turned around slowly, biting her lip. She blinked in what seemed like slow motion until she was finally staring him in the eyes.

"Okay. Sure." Austin ran a hand through his hair.

"To be honest... I don't know where I was going with this. But I know that you're blaming yourself and you're avoiding the subject." He sighed. "Ally, I know these past few days have been rough on you. And they've been rough on me, too. But we need to learn to communicate what we're feeling. Isn't that what your mom said?" Ally nodded slowly. "Yeah. That's that I thought." She stared at her feet for a minute. "So... come sit down at the table with me, eat dinner and let's talk about it." Another nod. When she finally looked back up at him, her eyes were brimming with tears.

"Hey..." Austin pulled her in, wrapping her in a tight hug. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell."

"No, you're... you're fine..." Ally managed to get out as she buried her head in Austin's chest. He rubbed the small of her back for a few minutes, feeling her tears soak his shirt, until she had calmed down a bit. When she came back up, her eyes were red and puffy from exhaustion and emotion. Austin slowly reached out and wiped the tear that had just started crawling down her cheek. She sniffed and looked down again. "It's just... it's so hard..." Ally wiped the tears from her cheeks. "N-not... blaming myself..." Austin stood there as she collapsed into tears again.

"Ally, listen to me. It wasn't your fault." She sniffed and hiccupped, feeling another lump in her throat. At this point, she wasn't sure if it was the grief talking or Austin being as gentle and understanding as he was that made it come again. She couldn't tell the difference. "These things happen, and there's not always a reason for it." He kissed the top of her forehead. "And don't let anybody tell you otherwise, okay?" Ally leaned into him a little more and he felt her grip on him get a little tighter.

"Okay."

one week later

around 9:30p.m.

"We should do something fun," Austin stated from what felt like out of nowhere as he and Ally were sitting next to each other in bed one night; Ally reading, Austin scrolling on the laptop. Ally raised an eyebrow.

"It's, like, 10:00 p.m."

"No," Austin argued. "It's 9:37." Ally rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. It's still too late, and I'm tired."

"I didn't mean today." he paused. "What if we were to get together with the gang again?" Trish, Dez, Carrie, Chuck?" Ally shrugged. "We could host thanksgiving at our place."

Ally sighed, putting her book down. "Austin, have you looked around the house recently? We don't even have a functional kitchen table yet. And since we moved all of the boxes into the basement, it's a complete mess down there." Austin shrugged.

"So? Thanksgiving is still three weeks away. There's time."

"We still have to order equipment for the studio, too."

"Easy peasy."

"Austin, why do you want to have people over so bad?" Ally asked. "Our house is a mess, we're a week away from our EP release deadline and on top of it all—" She paused, squeezing her eyes shut. "We're still..."

"Grieving," Austin finished. "Yeah. I know." He scratched his forehead. "But we've never been the kind of people to back away from doing something just because it's hard. And doing this might be hard, but Ally..." Austin paused, biting his lip. "I think this will give us something to celebrate and to keep us busy. We should at least try." Ally glanced up at him from her lap, her hands fiddling with one another.

"I don't know, Austin..." her voice trailed off and she stared into space for a few seconds. "I think I'd rather it just be the two of us."

Austin shook his head. "You're a terrible liar." Ally furrowed her brow.

"Whhaaaaaat?"

He stifled a laugh. "I know that you want to agree with me. You're just saying that because you don't think we should."

"Well—" Austin grabbed her hand and squeezed it once.

"I promise you, Ally, this will be good for us. Let's spend Thanksgiving with our friends, and we can celebrate your birthday while we're at it, too. How's that sound?"

Ally was quiet for a moment. She held onto Austin's hand loosely and stared down at the bedsheets. "How am I supposed to be able to celebrate my birthday if our baby didn't even get to have one?" She sniffed, feeling another lump come to her throat.

"Ally, that's not what I—" Austin sighed as he pulled her closer to him, rubbing her back. She cried softly into his t-shirt, but not like she had a week ago— this was lighter and a little quieter compared to when she'd been sobbing in his arms on the cold bathroom floor. "Shhh," he whispered. Over this past week, he'd learned that after a few minutes the crying usually stopped and he could go back to trying to make her feel better again. But if he was honest, Austin was running out of ideas on how to do that.

He felt like he'd tried everything at this point. He gave her Dougie the Dolphin, brought flowers, chocolate, and a card, gotten takeout, and made countless other attempts to cheer her up with the help of the internet. But just when he thought she might be okay, she was crying in his arms again.

If Austin had learned anything from this, it was patience. In his teen years, he wasn't a patient person— at all. But as he'd reminded himself multiple times within the past week, he needed to learn to be patient with Ally. They were both dealing with the aftermath of the miscarriage in completely different ways, and when she told him she needed space, he respected her boundaries. He just thought she would have been more open to this idea— being around their friends always made her happy.

A few minutes later, she had calmed down again, just like Austin had predicted. She got out of bed and grabbed her pajamas from the drawer, disappearing into the bathroom without another word. Austin sighed, laying back in the bed and staring up at the ceiling. When she came back out, she threw her clothes from that day in the hamper and got into bed next to him, saying nothing. Finally, she looked over at him.

"I'm tired of crying," was all she said as she and Austin stared into each other's eyes. Austin just nodded. "I'm tired of moping around the house, doing busywork, trying to pretend like I'm okay." He nodded again.

"Do you... want to talk about it?" he asked. Ally shook her head no, her eyelids nearly drooping shut.

"No. Not today."

"That's what you've been saying every day."

"I know. Because I'm not ready, quite yet." Austin reached for her hand, something that had become habit during the past week.

"Whenever you're ready, I'll be here." Ally nodded. "Okay?"

She mustered a smile. "Okay."

Austin flipped the lamp on the bedside table off and laced his fingers in with hers. She snuggled in close to him, breathing in his scent. and within minutes they were both fast asleep.

First off... I'm sorry. Also, though, I'm not. I felt that every part of those ten years we didn't get to see needed to be told, including the not-so-pleasant ones. This was meant to be kind of an insight into how Austin was handling everything following the events of chapter 16. Let me know what you all thought— I want to hear your honest opinions about this. There will be two more parts; update schedule TBD as I'm back in school now. It's gonna be a hard semester but I'll try to come back to writing this if i can :') No promises, though— it might be a few weeks. I have a busy schedule. Thanks everybody, have a great rest of your day/ night :)