"…and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil: for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen."(1)
Dr. Jekyll kept his eyes screwed shut, all through and after his prayer. With them closed, he could not see, could simply pretend that the outside world did not exist. But the doctor knew he could only deceive himself for so long.
When he, at long last, opened his eyes and rose from his knees, all he saw was his laboratory. Everything was normal, if a bit untidy, and he was alone.
"Of course I'm alone," He chuckled quietly to himself. He knew it wasn't true- he could feel it.
He sat at his desk, opening his bible with the intent to read a few passages- God knew his soul could use it. He flipped through the pages, coming to the first chapter of the first book of John.
"If we confess our sins," it read. "He is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."(2)
What a passage to come to, at a time like this. He had confessed, he had prayed, he had done all he could, and yet his very soul still felt heavy. Surely, though, he could still be forgiven? Surely, even after everything-
A crumpled, broken man, bloodied and battered. Half a cane, dripping red, laying beside him. A sick, overwhelming glee.
Dr. Jekyll heaved, shutting his eyes once more, bracing his sitting form against his desk until his retching subsided. He took slow, deep breaths, trying to return his heart rate to normal.
Surely, even after that, God's infinite mercy still extended to him?
What a fool you are, a cruel voice sneered, and Dr. Jekyll shut his eyes tighter, praying for it all to go away.
Stupid old man. Do you really believe God would listen to the pleas of someone like you?
He kept silent, both too afraid to answer and unsure, in the depths of his soul, what he believed.
Sharp, tapping footsteps made their way closer to the doctor's desk. It occurred to him, vaguely, that the creature should not, at present, have audible footfalls.
It's so you know, the voice said into his ear. I am here. I am close.
Dr. Jekyll flung his head up, eyes shooting open, hands clenched into fists.
Before him stood a man who did not exist. He was short and small, dressed in dark colors, a pointed viciousness on his youthful face. And he was not real.
Not real? Your guilt-ridden heart certainly says otherwise, Doctor.
He was just an alter ego, just a disguise for the doctor to wear for freedom! He-
Killed someone. Unless, of course, you'd like to take responsibility for that.
A wordless growl of rage wormed its way from between Dr. Jekyll's clenched teeth. Vile wretch! It was him who was the murderer, and yet he could not be real!
"You're like- a bacteria sample," He ground out. "In a Petri dish. Hardly there at first, unnoticeable, but you grew like a tumor!"(3)
You let me free, Doctor. That was the agar; regardless of my actuality, Sir Carew's murder was, utterly and entirely, your fault.
"Silence," Dr. Jekyll ordered, voice dripping with loathing. "Your sins are your own."
Is that so? Just a moment ago you seemed so certain that I was not even real, he snickered, sitting on the doctor's desk. He leaned forward, his face twisted into such a sadistic expression that the doctor recoiled. I am just your wickedness, aren't I? Perhaps if you didn't feel such murderous intent, Sir Carew would still be alive.
"I said silence!" Dr. Jekyll yelled, standing so quickly that his chair fell back. "I may not be a perfect man, but never would I murder someone! That was your doing, fiend."
Don't you claim to be smart, Doctor? You know how it goes: if a man will lie, he will cheat. If he will cheat, he will steal. If he will steal, he will kill. (4) Wickedness grows, Doctor, just like you said. You must have seen that this is how it would go when you chose to let me out. Or do you already know this, and simply want to blame someone other than yourself?
"I blame you because you are the criminal," He said, pointing a shaky finger at the specter. "Can you blame a father for the actions of his son? Can you blame a strychnine tree for the poison it creates?"
That depends, he sneered. Does the tree willingly make poison for its own self-serving reasons? Does the father teach his son to steal for the father's own gain?
"I did not tell you to be wicked!" The doctor cried passionately.
You reveled in your wickedness! You slaved for months for the ability to be cruel and malicious under a disguise! I am but the natural offspring of such a selfish act.
"I did not choose to let you free," Dr. Jekyll insisted, He tried to back up but tripped over his fallen chair, sprawling onto his back with a wince.
I suppose you didn't. The foul creature hopped off the desk and strolled over to where Dr. Jekyll had pulled himself into a sitting position. You just left the door open after handing me an invite. How does the saying go? Give the devil an inch and he'll take a mile. (5)
He leaned down, leering, a smirk twisting his thin, dark lips. Or maybe he'll just go ahead and take your whole damn soul, Jekyll.
"NO!" He screamed, standing and hurling the chair at the figure in a single, lightning-fast motion. It crashed into the far wall of his laboratory, clattering in pieces to the floor.
There was no sound other than his wheezing, labored breaths. There was no one else in the lab.
He was alone- of course.
1- This is an outdated form of The Lord's Prayer, but from what I could find, it was the version used in England during the time period Jekyll & Hyde takes place in.
2- It never says what religion Jekyll is(I think), but given that he lives in England, I assumed that he is some denomination of Christianity that uses the King James Bible. The verse is 1 John 1:9.
3- A precursor to Petri dishes was invented a few years before the story was published, but the actual Petri dish was invented one year after its publication. So we'll just pretend it's set a few years later. I'm also not sure what kind of doctor Jekyll even was, but presumably, he was some sort of pharmacist due to his knowledge on chemicals (he also had an operating theatre though, so I don't know), so I don't know why he'd default to using a Petri dish for an argument, but I liked the analogy so I kept it anyway.
4- This is almost directly stolen from a quote from Clarence Thomas. He is an associate justice of the U.S. Supreme Court.
5- England uses the metric system, but interestingly, also uses some imperial measurements such as inches and miles, so to the best of my non-British knowledge, this line is correct.
Happy Halloween!