Author's Note: Based on the requests for some holiday episodes, I'm playing with my publishing order again. We left off in August of 1999, and I still have several stories to tell as they head back to school for their final year in undergrad, celebrate a couple of birthdays, and continue to settle into their roles as a married couple and members of two very different families, but I'm skipping ahead for a taste of the holidays. This episode will be published in several chapters, but it will include their first Christmas as a married couple and usher them into the year 2000. Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing. Your kind words are greatly appreciated. That really does inspire me to write (and actually bother to publish) more. Happy holidays!

One cold, December morning, Laura and Steve were still in bed, cuddled close. "We have to get out of bed eventually, Steve," Laura complained, not moving an inch away from him.

"It's Saturday," he reminded her. "We don't have to go anywhere."

"We haven't finished our Christmas shopping," she noted. "I have to go to the mall."

"No, you don't," he said.

"Steve, Christmas is less than a week away," she said, lifting her head up to look at him. "I haven't even found anything for you, yet," she frowned apologetically.

"You don't have to get me anything," he said sincerely. "Being your husband is gift enough."

Laura rolled her eyes. "That's not how this works, Steve."

"Could be," he argued.

"Did you buy anything for me yet?" she asked.

"Yes," he admitted with a sly smile.

Laura giggled at his expression. "Then I'm buying you something," she insisted. "I just don't know what. It's our first Christmas together. I want it to be special."

"It's our second Christmas together," he corrected.

"No, it's our second Christmas as a couple, but we weren't together last year. You were in Houston," she complained.

"It still counts!" he argued. "Face it, Baby. You're two Christmases into being in love with an Urkel!"

Laura smiled. "I don't know about that. I had some pretty strong feelings for you the year before that, too."

"Oh, really?" he purred.

"Yes, really. I wish you had broken out the mistletoe that year and given me an excuse to lay one on those big, soft lips," she purred.

"Me, too, now that you mention it!" he cried in frustration.

Laura smiled. "Well, you're more than making up for it this year," she laughed, pointing at the mistletoe above their heads.

Steve looked up at it and smiled. He rolled her off of him and climbed on top of her again. "You're sure doing more than kissing me under it," he teased. He began to kiss her neck, and her arms wrapped around his strong back.

"Steve," she warned, "we've already made love twice this morning. Are you sure you're up for Round 3?"

He grabbed her hand and moved it down to his member. "What do you think?" he growled as her hand wrapped around it.

"Oooooo," she purred. "I guess you are." She stroked up and down as they began to kiss more passionately.

.Knock.

Laura pulled her hand away from him and pushed him up a few inches. "Who's that?" she asked.

"I don't know," he admitted, "and, Baby, right now, I just don't care."

Laura smiled at him sympathetically. "We have to get the door, Steve," she pressed.

"You always say that, and it's always something that postpones our… alone time," he complained.

"Because it's always important!" she argued.

He took a deep breath and sighed. He rolled off of her and stood. He slipped his boxers on. Laura moved to climb out of bed, and he pressed a hand firmly to her stomach. "Uh-uh. You're staying right here," he ordered. "I'll take care of it, and then I'll start breakfast."

"No," she whined, "come right back here. You got me all excited again."

. .

Steve glared toward their front door and turned back to Laura. He smiled down at her. "Ok, my sweet. I'll come right back here and take care of all those tingles in your tummy," he promised.

"Yes, please," she pouted.

He leaned down and kissed her. "I'll be right back, my love," he whispered. He turned from the bed, and she pinched his butt. "OooooOOOooooOOOoooo!" he jumped excitedly.

"Hurry up," she teased.

"Yes, Ma'am!" he said, grabbing his robe. He tied it as he walked out toward the door. Just before he opened it, he realized that his member was trying to greet their guest first. He tucked it in his waistband, forgetting to look through the peephole, and opened the door. His eyes widened, and he immediately tried to slam it, but a strong hand came up to grab it, pushing back forcefully and knocking Steve completely out of the way.

"Hey, Cuz," OGD grinned as he walked in. He looked around the apartment and was immediately impressed. "Damn, Boy, you doin' ok, ain't you?"

"How'd you find me?" Steve asked, without even so much as a greeting.

"I went to the Winslows' crib, and 3J told me you moved out. He gave me your address, but he did not tell me you livin' like this."

"It's a tiny apartment in downtown Chicago," Steve said dismissively. "I'm not exactly rollin' in dough, and frankly, I've got better uses for it now than helping you out of every little snafu, so if you're here for money, you can just head on back to Detroit."

OGD grinned. "I ain't here for money. The last time your man, Carl, got me out of a jam with Fresh Squeeze was the last time I went to a loan shark."

"Oh," Steve said flatly. "Well, you can still just go," he said, pointing at the door.

OGD sat on the couch and put his feet up on the table. Steve pulled the coffee table a foot further away, causing his feet to land hard on the ground. OGD rolled his eyes. "Look, man, I'm just lookin' for a place to crash for the holidays. I hooked up with this girl, and then I hooked up with her sister, and now… they're both tryna kill me," he explained.

Steve cringed. "Sounds like you deserve it. Go home!"

"Hey there, stranger!" Laura said, coming out of the bedroom and rounding the corner. "I thought I heard a familiar voice!"

Steve turned to assure she was at least clothed now. She was, though Steve was disappointed to see that she looked incredibly sexy. Her jeans were tight, as was her low-cut sweater. She had somehow found time to do her makeup, and her hair looked just the appropriate amount of messy. That girl worked fast.

OGD stood. "Mm… Mm… Mmmmm… Laura Winslow," he grinned. "Girl, you look finer every time I see you." He opened his arms. "Do I get a welcome back to Chi-Town hug?" he purred.

Laura moved closer to him, but Steve grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her back into his arms. "NO!" he barked.

Laura turned to glare at him. "Steve Urkel, that really isn't up to you," she reminded him.

He frowned gently at her and released her. He stared daggers at his cousin as he opened his arms again. Laura hugged him in a quick, friendly, and familial way, but to Steve, it looked like she was giving him a lap dance. Laura smiled as she pulled away. "So what are you doin' in town?" she asked. They sat beside each other on the couch while Steve continued to stand and snarl.

"Dodgin' some honeys," he admitted.

Laura rolled her eyes. "That does not surprise me, and I'm sure you've got it comin'," she glared.

"I do," he agreed. He grinned at her, "So, Baby, what are you doin' at Steve Urkel's apartment on a Saturday afternoon? Aren't their men lined up around the block waitin' to take you out?"

Laura's brow furrowed. Steve's eyes widened as he realized he was about to be busted. He went immediately to the kitchen to start brunch. "What do you mean 'Steve's apartment'? I live here," she said in confusion.

"Fo' real?" he asked. "You're Steve's roomie? Damn, the brother I split the rent with back in Detroit doesn't look anything like you. He's like 38 and looks like God left the iron on his face for too long."

Laura was just getting more confused. "Well, um… Hopefully, your wife won't look like that."

"My wife?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow at her. "Baby Girl, you sexy as hell, but you know I'm not ready to settle down yet. A playa's gotta play. You know what I'm sayin'?"

As much as Laura would have normally been annoyed by that comment, she was having too much trouble following the conversation to react to it. "I'm sorry. Do you not know Steve and I are married?"

OGD's jaw dropped, then his face froze, and finally, he started to laugh. "Good one," he laughed harder. "You almost had me there for a minute."

"I'm serious," Laura said, showing him her left hand.

OGD grabbed her hand and brought it closer to his face. "You married Steve Urkel?" he asked in horror.

Laura leaned behind her and grabbed a wedding picture sitting on the end table. She handed it to him. He looked down at the picture of Laura in her beautiful, white gown, wrapped in Steve's arms, smiling brightly as he kissed her cheek.

"You married Steve Urkel," he repeated in shock.

"Did you not get your invitation?" she asked.

OGD looked up at her. "Nah," he said. "Pretty sure I would've remembered that."

"We must've had the wrong address, Sweetums," Steve suggested a little too loudly from the kitchen. Laura stood and walked into the office. She pulled out her wedding planning binder and brought it back to the living room. Steve recognized the binder and nearly had a heart attack. She still had that? Why was his wife so organized?!

Laura flipped to the addresses. "Is this right?" she asked, showing it to him.

"Yeah," he said, "but you didn't have to call me Cornelius."

Laura smiled slyly at him, and then turned back to Steve. "Oh, my God. That is so weird, isn't it?" she asked.

"Yup. Super weird. Très weird. Weird. Weird. Weird," he said, whisking eggs at such an alarming rate that half of the yolk was now on the ground.

Laura noticed his nervousness and ran her tongue over her teeth. She pursed her lips. Maybe it wasn't so weird. "Must've gotten lost in the mail, huh?" she proposed, standing and walking toward Steve menacingly.

"Must've," he squeaked.

"Because you were in charge of dropping the invites off at the post office, which I'm sure you did very carefully."

"Yes. Very, very carefully," he agreed, still whisking maniacally.

"And since all the rest of our guests RSVPed, we know that you did your job perfectly. It must've been the post office who misplaced that one invitation that you and I argued about for weeks beforehand."

"Can't trust the post office," he nodded. "Dogs don't like mailmen, and dogs always know, so… Heh."

"Steve, just a little reminder…" she warned. "I'm your wife, and you don't lie to your wife, right?"

"Right," he squeaked.

"So, if you have something you want to tell me, you better do it now before I have to call you out on it. Believe me, you don't want to see what happens when you get caught in a lie with me."

"What happens?" he asked nervously.

"Well, the first of many punishments would be that mistletoe comin' down," she threatened.

"I threw out his invitation!" he yelled immediately.

"I knew it!" Laura shouted, pointing at him accusingly. "He's your cousin, Steve! And you agreed to invite him! How could you lie to me like that?" she demanded.

"I didn't want to invite him, Laura!" Steve yelled.

"He's a good guy! He's a little rough around the edges, but he's a good guy!"

"He hit on you!"

"Everybody hits on me!" she cried.

"Yo, Laura," OGD said, standing from the couch. "Don't worry about it, Baby. It's no big deal."

"Don't call her 'Baby'!" Steve barked, pointing his whisk at him as he approached the kitchen. "She's not your baby! She's my baby!"

OGD wiped the egg that splattered on his face. "Relax, Cuz," he said, putting his hands up. "You put a ring on it. Game over. I get it."

"Oh, like you have any respect for anyone being faithful to anybody!" Steve growled. "Why don't you tell Laura why you're 'dodgin' those honeys'?" he suggested.

Laura looked at him suspiciously. "Yeah, what did you do?"

"I slept with her sister," he admitted, looking away from her.

"Ew, OGD… C'mon," she cringed, folding her arms over her chest.

"Anyway, Laura," Steve said pointedly. "This cad can't be trusted. That's why I didn't want to invite him to the wedding, and that's why I don't want him staying here now! Get out," Steve barked, proud of the fact that he finally had a little ownership of something, even if they were just renting an apartment, he didn't have to have anybody in his home that he didn't welcome.

Except, it wasn't just his home. "Steve," Laura said in exasperation, "he's family, and he's not goin' anywhere."

He looked back at her. "Laura, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to put my foot down."

OGD cringed and stepped back. This was not going to go well for his cousin, and he was amazed Steve couldn't see the cliff he'd just walked off of.

Laura turned her head to the side for a moment and scoffed. She looked back up at him and raised her eyebrows, puckering her lips into a position that was clearly not meant for a kiss. "You're puttin' your foot down?" she repeated.

"Yes," Steve said, feigning confidence as he began to read her threatening reaction. "I'm your husband, and I-I know that this is your apartment, too, but in order for it to be your apartment, too, it has to be my apartment first," he stammered.

"Oh, boy," OGD grumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"That's not what I meant," he corrected quickly.

"It better not be!"

"I just mean that I get a say here, too, and I don't want him here."

"Well, I do!"

"Well, too bad!" Steve yelled.

"Honestly, Steve, I'm one more line like that away from kicking you out of the apartment."

"Fine," he said. "You don't have to!" He finally put down his bowl and his whisk. "Laura Lee," he said as he walked back toward the bedroom. Laura remained in the kitchen, glaring in his general direction. "You have a choice to make. As long as he's here," Steve said, coming out of the bedroom fully dressed, "I won't be." He put on his shoes and turned to her. She stared at him silently, challengingly. Steve melted slightly. Why wasn't this working? Why wasn't she groveling at his feet? He would have been by now. "Fine," he said flatly, grabbing his coat. He turned and walked out of the door.

Laura, still fuming, emptied the bowl full of eggs he had wasted and placed it aggressively into the dishwasher, leaving the whisk in the sink. She began to walk back toward the bedroom when she heard OGD's voice and remembered why they were fighting in the first place.

"So you married Steve, huh?"

She paused in her tracks. She went to respond, but realized quickly that she was in no mood for him. "I'm gonna go take a bath," she said.

"Ooo, yes, Baby. I could really use one right about now," he smiled.

"Shut up," she growled, walking away. She slammed and locked the bathroom door.