What if the bomb and their first kiss were just the end of one thing and the beginning of another? Two separate events with major life alternating consequences. Would this, disbelief, unfounded circumstance allow, Sarah to heal, forgive and would she fight to remember him at all costs. Would her memories be enough to continue and listen to her heart and not the pages of a CIA manual? Will she give up or fight for the truth, she knows is still out there. Will she be ready to except the answers for why it ended this way?

Never giving up on a good thing

Chapter 1

4-3-2- Sarah pressed her lips to his and when she felt his press against hers, she figured that it wouldn't be a bad way to die. Words that were meant to be humorous didn't sit well when reality hit. But she wasn't listening to her head she was tired of the tug ol' war it was playing with her heart, and it always seemed to win. His lips were exactly like she remembered them to be even though their 'kisses' were just 'mission kisses' and nothing else, but who was she fooling? She was under his spell, hooked, depended and was nothing without him.

Chuck felt her lips and when it finally registered he took her in his arms and knew that in seconds this could be over and sometime after they died, he hoped that they would be together in some other world free from Fulcrum and free to express how they really feel about each other. Time stood still as they kissed and held each other, but even when they felt the heat of the blast and its force separating them apart, they seemed at peace, that they were able to share one last kiss, a kiss that would stand the end of time. A kiss that would be enough till they saw each other again.

Chuck was thrown back hitting the far wall hard, landing on his stomach, Sarah was swooped backwards by another flash and its force threw her in the other direction as the warehouse crumbled and covered her, only leaving her hand and face visible. Casey ran into the fiery ruins of what was a large warehouse. "Major you can't go in there?" As one of the NSA Agents tired to stop him.

"Try and stop me." As Casey pushed his way in covering his face with his sleeve. The room was full of smoke and embers and the structure burned and creaked. Casey pushed his way through the rumble and called out for any sign of life. "Walker! Bartowski!"

Casey walked back and forth and finally came to the center of the blast where he saw the devastation and feared the worse, till a quick glance over his shoulder as the smoke settled, he saw a hand. He ran over ripping his jeans and cutting his leg as he lifted the burning structure off Sarah. He fell to the ground and checked for a pulse. It was faint but she was alive. "Need help over here." As his voice rang through the warehouse. Casey waited till a stretcher came and took her. She didn't look to good and feared the worse. They ran with her as Casey had to find Chuck. "Major its not safe, we need to get you out of here?" A firefighter calmly spoke despite seeing the look on the Major's face. Casey didn't like leaving a man down and it was getting harder to breath and as the flames were rising. Casey looked up. "I can't, I need to find him."

"Major, we were lucky to find Agent Walker but…"

Casey grabbed the firefighter by his gear. "You don't understand, he's an Agent, he's one of us." Casey finally stormed out and waited till the fire was under control. Paramedics bandaged his leg and his hands and when he got the ok to go back in, he couldn't find him. He walked towards the center of the blast and walking through wet soot and broken glass. He saw where he had found Sarah and looked around at where Chuck could have been thrown. He knew that finding Chuck alive was slim, but he had to make sure. When the skies outside became brighter, it killed him to give up in defeat.

He walked the halls of the hospital and reached surgery as the doctor came out. "Major."

"Doctor. How is she?"

"She was lucky to be found when she did. The blast along with the smoke would have eventually crushed her. We had to go in and do some exploratory surgery, she had a bruised spleen and a few broken ribs that we had to fuse together and leg that we had to put a pin in it. It could have been worse. Any word on where Agent Carmichael ended up?"

Casey looked at the Doctor. "He didn't make it."

Those words killed him to say. "I'm so sorry. (a slight pause) I will be in touch, Agent Walker will be out of recovery in a few hours." The Doctor walked away. Casey sat down looking at his hands and the bandages covering his hands. His hands that failed to find Chuck quick enough. He reached into his pocket and scrolled his contacts and stopped at Beckman's. He pressed her number and dreaded the next few words.

DC

Beckman sat back and tried to keep her emotions from fogging the decisions that she had to make. With out a body they had to some up with a way to explain his death to his family. This was nothing for the CIA but this time it was someone she knew, someone who she had started to admire and someone who was an asset in more ways than one. The Intersect didn't cross her mind, it was the least of her worries it was Sarah and what to tell his family.

LA Hospital

'Sarah! Chuck! Sarah could hear Casey calling her name, his name, but the ringing was blaring and creating a morbid haunting sound that she knew wasn't a normal sound. Sarah tried to scream but the sounds drowned her voice and she seemed to fade further and further away. She tried to stand up but couldn't, she saw Casey and another firefighter pull the debris off of her. "Chuck!' Where are you?' Where minutes before she was just kissing him. Casey dusted her off as Sarah tried to focus. Her ears still ringing, still hearing that haunting sound. Her head pounding. Sarah touched her forehead as she could feel something roll down her face, as she swiped her forehead seeing her hand covered with blood, she knew that it was a lot worse. 'He's not here.' She heard someone say. 'There's no way anyone could survive this…' but she did so where was Chuck.'

Sarah woke up to tubes and wires and the haunting sound she heard was the machine beside her and ringing was the phone at the nurse's desk. Sarah tried to move when she saw an Agent walk into her room followed by a nurse. Sarah tried to fight the nurse. As the nurse went to grab a sedative Casey walked in.

Sarah looked at him and she knew.

Interstate heading north Undisclosed location

The van squealed to a stop leaving no trace, that was their orders. It had to look like any other explosion well at least to them, but as the events unfolded and the doors of the van opened, and a lone doctor and a few nurses anticipated a long night. They had to make it possible for him to leave, to keep him alive. To continue to keep her secret and that started with him.

The driver who was female about Chuck's age approached the another woman staring at the doctors rushing Chuck into a quarantined room. "Sorry we didn't get there in time. But there is one more thing."

The older woman looked at the younger woman. "He wasn't alone."

She turned to face the driver. "And?"

"Rushed into surgery, an Agent Walker."

The older woman felt for the Agent that she knew was a part of this but she didn't expect her to be there nor expected him to be there either but when she found out she had to get there before they did, but at least he was with her and not them. At least for now this was the safest place for him.

LA

The nurse removed the tube and the wires then her and the other Agent stepped out of the room saving Sarah from being sedated. Sarah looked at Casey. She looked at his slight limp when he walked then his bandaged hands. "No, don't say it."

"We scoured the warehouse."

Casey continued to explain but she stopped listening. "Promise me that you will not leave the hospital." Those last words were the final nails that sealed her coffin.

She refused any visitors, even though she heard Beckman and Casey talking. It had been a few days and she knew that they had to make the call. They had to tell Chuck's family, they had to tell them something, other than he was a spy. Casey accepted Beckman's solution, but it didn't sit well with him and it killed Sarah to lie to Ellie about her brother. She wanted to be the one to tell her, but she was in no condition to do that. Casey promised to come by after he told Ellie and see how she was doing.

Echo Park

Casey tore off his bandages and opted for regular bandages instead of the white mittens he had been wearing. He knocked on the door and when Devon answered he was glad that Ellie wasn't going to be alone. Casey stepped inside and saw Ellie come out of the kitchen. "Hi Casey, Chuck's not here actually I haven't seen him for a few days as we have been working."

"I'm not here to see Chuck. I got some bad news, you two might want to sit down."

Ellie didn't like his tone as she had found him to be very stoic and military, but he neither of them. Ellie sat down on the couch next to Devon. "Chuck took Sarah on one of his installs and they were on the interstate heading home when a truck jackknifed and flipped over causing an instant domino effect and we figured that Chuck and Sarah were in the middle of it when he lost control of the car and rolled." Casey had to stick with his story and a bit of irony was on their side, there happened to be a terrible car pile up on the interstate heading into Burbank hours before. So, he could bounce off that horrific turn of events to verify his story.

"I'm so sorry he didn't make it."

Devon looked up in disbelief. "And Sarah?"

"She was rushed into surgery."

Ellie fell into Devon's arms wailing at the words she had just heard. Chuck was her world, other than Devon. Devon held her close trying to make sense of this. Casey nodded and stepped back leaving the two of them to grieve.

Sarah stared out the window, it had been three days since the blast and her ears still rang and the haunting sound still played its own tune with her heart. '56, 56 days I knew I had feelings for him, and it was maybe sooner than that but why would I be that lucky to have found love the first day I saw him. He was just doing his job and I came in doing mine, he was a mark that had intel that the Government needed, he had secrets that he didn't even know he had, I had secrets that he couldn't know about me, we made a perfect pair. We were perfect.'

Funeral for Chuck Irvine Bartowski

Devon had stopped by Sarah's hospital room on his way home from his last shift before the funeral and explained that it was too hard right now for Ellie to come and see her, Sarah understood. Devon told her that they all had lost a great guy, a very important guy and with the funeral that surprisingly Casey had taken care of all the arrangements, Devon was glad that it was one less thing to worry about. Devon still found it hard to look Sarah in the face as he continued to talk. He finally got up and walked to the door. "Will we see you in the morning?"

Sarah looked at him fighting not to cry. "I don't know, not sure if they will let me leave."

Devon nodded then raised his hand in a mournful wave.

The next morning Sarah had pushed her tray away for the third consecutive morning when she saw Casey walk in wearing a dark suit. He wanted to wear his military uniform, but he had to stay in his role as friend and fellow employee. He brought Sarah a garment bag. "Not sure what you want to wear, I grabbed a few items from your mission locker and before you say your not going, you're going. You were his boyfriend even if it was for show, it was real to everyone else so you can not not go."

Eventually a nurse came in and helped Sarah get dressed. The nurse rolled Sarah out of her room wearing one Chuck's favourite. Her purple blouse and black skirt, along with her black suit jacket, it was both tasteful and acceptable funeral attire.

Casey drove up to the doors of the Church. He had seen this place once driving with Chuck and felt that it was perfect place for a funeral. Sarah slid into the wheelchair as Casey raised the leg support keeping Sarah's leg elevated. They both saw that many of the guests were CIA Agents and amongst the crowd sat Beckman. She raised her head slightly then lowered in reverence. Casey rolled Sarah to the side and sat down. Ellie walked in and motioned for Sarah to move closer. Casey got up and rolled Sarah closer to Ellie and Devon. The casket was closed, and the church filled up quickly. The pastor started by welcoming everyone, and that Chuck's family appreciated each and everyone that took time to come out and how each one of them had touched Chuck's life in one way or another, and that his memory, his life would not be forgotten.

Ellie finally got up with Devon by her side after Morgan spoke and unfolded what looked like a hand written note that would help her talk about her brother. Ellie looked up and her face said it all, her eyes were blood shot and though she was tired, she put up a good front. Her words were touching and there was not one dry eye in the church. She thanked everyone and spoke honestly about her younger brother, sharing stories and memories then finally looked at Sarah. "Sarah, you were his jam to his peanut butter. It was something we said to each other when things were going good for us. You coming into his life was a blessing, a prayer that he had prayed for a long time. You changed him and he had purpose, he had goals beyond his five-year plan. He loved you, even if he didn't want to define what you two had, he didn't want to label it either. But if he could tell the world that he was dating Sarah Walker he would have in a heartbeat. I know that your mourning him as much as we are and in your own way you have to deal with his lost but I want you, we want to let you know that your family and you will always be family. You were important to Chuck, so you are important to us."

Week ago

Chuck opened his eyes and seeing flames, smoke and Sarah's lifeless body meters away from him. He tried to get up but couldn't, he felt a sharp pain in his side and a large bar sticking out of his ribs and the worse feeling he couldn't feel his legs. He tried to slither towards her, but the metal slivers and burning debris prevented him from getting close to her. He inhaled the smoky air and painfully dragged himself causing his shirt to drip more with blood. He started to pull at the shards that kept getting dragged as he slid towards her and as he pulled the first few out he decided to go for the larger one, but realized that it was a mistake. Chuck swore as held his side as he continued to drag himself over to her. He knew that he was in reach and he tried to extend his free hand. He was able to touch her briefly, when he saw two black boots facing him. Through the smoke he looked up and saw a face that he swore he had not seen in years. The woman looked down, then crouched down to look at him. "You want her to live!"

Chuck painfully tried to answer, then as he nodded, he lowered his head and was finally able to touch her hand as two men carefully carried him away. He tried to see her, but he had nothing left, his strength was gone. His lungs craved the fresh air he now was able to inhale as he was carried outside but in seconds of breathing in the fresh air, everything went black.