A/N: This is my second writing exercise. I am still struggling to find my voice and flow. If you notice anything with my writing please feel free to share it with me. I have not written in over a decade and it's much harder to get back into than I initially thought. The words don't flow as easily as they did when I wrote everyday. But I'm hoping I'll get back there.
Note: This is my first ever Bleach and IchiHime fanfic. I am new to the fandom, I started watching it 2 months ago and fell deeply in love with it. I'm all about Ichigo and Orihime. When it comes to the characters, I'll be using the characteristics from the anime. So, for instance, Orihime's eyes are gray.
As for the style of stories I have an obsession for love triangles and possessive assertive characters as well. So you many notice that I alter things to incorporate them. There will many romantic triangles and jealousy. Because I like when characters get jealous. Jealous characters are so much fun. lol.
Only Ever Alone
Prologue
Her first time was not what she had expected.
She thought there'd be roses, candles, and soft music in the background, champagne, silk sheets, and romance. Instead there were black lights, booming music, and rotating colored lights projected across the room, alcohol shots, beer, and a crowd. She dreamed an intimate moment planned by the person in love with her. Instead it was a party, and an unexpected chance with the boy she loved.
It happened after the war. The summer of their senior year. She never considered it possible. He had never indicated any interest. It was true that he was concerned for her safety, but his sense of vigilance extended to all his friends and family; Karakua town as a whole. Therefore, his dedication to protect her did not suggest she was any more special than anyone else. In fact, there was only one soul he treated differently, literally. A small dark-haired Shinigami. And in truth, she believed whole-heartedly, that his true feelings were with that strong warrior.
Rukia was special to Ichigo. She changed his entire life, given him his Shinigami powers and the ability to protect all those he cared about. It was obvious they shared a unique bond. There were countless nights when she'd ruminate about Rukia's expertise in pulling Ichigo out of his insecurity and self-loathing. Something that she herself was incapable of. She had struggled with her feelings of inadequacy and jealousy at the beginning. But learned to accept it; she loved them both and wanted nothing more than their happiness.
After the war, when they returned to school, something about him had changed. But, in all honesty, she could not discern what. He looked exactly the same. He still wore the same scowl and used the same gruff words. But the way everyone reacted to him, was different. The same girls that had once said he had a scary face, now watched him under hooded eyes, giggling as he passed by; they stared seductively, biting their lips waiting to catch his gaze. She would tap her pencil on the desk and stare out the window. She had long since given up on the prospect of romance with Ichigo. She accepted her feelings were unrequited and was happy to simply love him from afar.
Parties were not something that she usually went to. It was also unusual for Ichigo. But after everything happened, they both thought it would be good to feel normal. Even Chad agreed to come, although Ishida refused. She looked forward to some teenage debauchery, Tatsuki even agreed that breaking the rules once in a while was a rite of passage in a normal teenage life. Being a rebel was not on her list of things she dreamed of becoming, but rebelling did sound like a fun experience. So she went to the party with the intent on breaking a rule or two (although Tatsuki pointed out that trying to be 'bad girl' is not the same as being a 'bad girl'), but losing her virginity to Ichigo was not the rebellious act she had planned on.
After that night she psychoanalyzed every word, every gesture, every movement he was making. She was anxious to know whether he remembered; desperate to know if it would happen again. After two weeks of over analyzing all their interactions she concluded the answer to both questions were "no". She had resigned that they had fallen into the stereotypical one-night stand troupe.
Paradoxically, he proved her wrong, again and again and again. It was a highly intoxicating and thrilling affair. However, it was only ever alone that he would touch her. When surrounded by others it was like nothing changed, like he wasn't pulling her into dark corners and ravaging her in empty rooms. It wasn't until a special requested mission from the Soul Society that things began to fall apart.
I hope it's clear, but in case it's not. This is Orihime's view. Anyway, I hope you found it somewhat enjoyable.