Chapter 1: New Kids on the block
Hey guys, I'm finally doing a South Park story. It's basically my version of The Stick of Truth with one major difference, there's two new kids (Hector and Emily).
Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or its characters, they are owned by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I only own Hector and Emily because they're my OCs. Anyways, enjoy.
Deep in the lands of Zaron, the humans of Kupa Keep struggle to stay alive as they are attacked by the wicked Drow Elves of Larnion. Darkness fails as the humans beg their king to save them.
A noble king, known only as the Grand Wizard.
For a thousand years the battle has been waged, with only the bravery of the Grand Wizard to protect his human followers. But even though the Grand Wizard is so undeniably cool, the Drow Elf armies continue their attacks.
They seek the human's most treasured relic… the Stick of Truth.
But the tides of war are soon to change, as news of some "new" kids spreads throughout the land.
In order to save the humans, the Grand Wizard must get to the new kids before the Drow Elves can manipulate them and use them to take the sacred relic from human hands.
For whoever controls the Stick… controls the universe.
It was a nice day in South Park, the sun was shining, the birds were… pooping on people's heads. Oh, and a new family just moved into town.
The MOOVIT men moved some boxes inside the house.
"Well I think that's everything," said a man with short black hair and brown eyes.
"We did it hun," said a woman with black curly hair and brown eyes, as she embraced her husband in joy. "We really moved in."
"It's a new beginning for us, things are finally going to be good!" said the man, as he ended the embrace.
"Do you really think it will be better for… them?" the woman said, looking up in worry.
"They won't look for them here." said the man in reassurance, "We just have to make sure they don't attract any attention. Come on, let's see how they're doing."
They walked upstairs to a green painted door on their right. Nailed to it was a sign that says "Hector's room" in blue letter stickers. The woman knocked on her son's door.
"Kids, are you all dressed?" she asked.
"Yes mom," said Hector, in his natural American accent.
The parents opened the door to see their son and his girlfriend, Emily, just standing in front of a Cars (the Pixar movie) themed bed.
"Hey Champ!" said Hector's dad, "How do you like your new room?"
Hector was wearing soft black pants, rocket soap shoes (that actually work) that he made with the help of his cousin, a white shirt with a big S in the front, green glasses, a brown jacket (because it's cold in Colorado), and a black beanie in the shape of a crown (like Jughead Jones). He also has black hair, but in a comb over (with the line on his right side).
"It's good, but it could use more of my stuff," said Hector.
"I know it's a big change for all of us, including Emily, but do you two remember why we moved to this quiet little mountain town?" asked Hector's dad. Hector and Emily both shook their heads no.
"They don't remember." said Hector's mother.
"They don't remember at all so that's good," Hector's father whispered back.
"Kids, we want you to have lots of fun here," said Hector's mom, "Why don't you two go out and make some friends?"
"Yeah, go out and play like normal kids," Hector's dad added.
"We have some money on the kitchen counter," noted Hector's mom, "just be back before it gets dark. And don't worry Emily, your parents said you can stay with us until they arrive."
Emily was wearing a white beanie, a purple tank top, black leggings, white sneakers, and a blue jacket (like I said, it's cold in Colorado). She also had tan skin and long, soft, black hair in a ponytail.
"Thanks Mr. and Mrs. Garcia," said Emily, in her natural Mexican accent.
"Please, call us Joe and Veronica," said Hector's mom- I mean Veronica. She and Joe went downstairs to continue unpacking.
"Well, I guess we should go and make some friends," suggested Hector.
"Okay, but I gotta use the bathroom," said Emily, causing Hector to face palm.
"Fine, I'll get the money my mom left for us and wait for you outside," said Hector, as Emily rushed to the restroom.
10 minutes later…
Hector was waiting outside when Emily finally opened the door.
"I'm back. You should've seen the size of my shit," joked Emily.
"I don't wanna see the size of your shit." said Hector. Suddenly, he saw two kids his age, fighting in medieval-like costumes.
"You shall die by my warhammer, drow elf!" said the blonde puffball-haired kid.
"Nuh uh!" said the "elf".
"I banish thee to the forest realm!"
"No way, I banished you first! HaHa, you can't hold out much longer!"
"Help, I can't hold out much longer! HELP!"
"Hey leave him alone," said Hector, as he punched the elf in the face, causing the elf's nose to bleed.
"Hey, no fair, that's cheating. I'm gonna tell my mom." said the elf, who ran to cry to his mom.
"Whatever, asshole," said Emily, who went to help the blonde kid. "Are you ok?"
"Yeah I'm ok. Thank you, I didn't realize he had a health potion." said the blonde kid, which confused Hector and Emily.
"Is this some kind of role playing game?" asked Hector.
"It sure is. My name is Butters the Merciful. I'm a paladin." said Butters, "I live right next door to you two! We should be friends!"
"It's nice to meet you, and with all due respect, why did your parents name you Butters," asked Emily.
"Actually, my real name is Leopold, but my friends call me Butters because I'm their little buddy," said Butters, ending his sentence with a smile.
"Well it's very nice to meet you Butters, I'm Hector and this is Emily," said Hector, "and before you say anything, Emily is my girlfriend not my sister. Got it?"
"Got it." said Butters, "Anyways, now that we're friends, you should speak with the Wizard King! He's been talking about your arrival! The wizard lives this way. In the green house over there."
"Ok. Come on Emily let's go." said Hector, as he and Emily followed Butters.
"So, where'd you two live before moving?" asked Butters.
"New York City." answered Emily.
"Do you like Colorado?"
"So far so good."
"Why do you wear hair like that?"
"Hector thinks it suits me."
"Well he's not wrong. Here we are." The kids were standing in front of a green house. Butters then knocked on the door. The door opened, revealing Cartman in his wizard costume. "All hail the grand wizard!"
So you are the new kids, your coming was foretold by coldwell banker." said Cartmam as he examined them. "I am the Wizard King. But the time for talk is not nigh. Let me show the two of you my kingdom."
The trio followed Cartman inside.
"Oh who are your new friends, Eric?" asked Mrs. Cartman.
"Shut up mom, not now," said Eric Cartman.
"Your name is Eric?" asked Emily.
"Yes, but I prefer to be called by either my last name or Grand Wizard," said Cartman. "Anyways, welcome to the Kingdom of Kupa Keep." He showed them the kingdom, which was just his backyard.
"Doesn't look like much," said Emily.
"You may be right, fair maiden, but not if you look at it with the eyes of a child," said Cartman.
Emily squinted and saw a good-looking castle.
"Ok, I see what you mean," said Emily.
"Anyways, our weapon shop here is tended by Clyde, a level 14 warrior," said Cartman, walking past Clyde. "Here you can see our massive stables. Overseen by the level 9 ranger, Scott Malkinson, who has the power of diabetes."
"Ok, I'm deeply offended," said Hector.
"Why is that?" asked Cartman.
"My mom has diabetes," answered Hector.
"Does she have a lisp?" asked Cartman.
"No."
"Then you shouldn't be offended." He walked to a boy in a parka dressed as a princess. "And here, of course, is the breathtaking and lovely Princess Kenny. The fairest maiden in all the kingdom." Hector and Emily wondered what Kenny was short for… until Cartman said this, "don't ask why Kenny wanted to be a chick, it's just how he seems to be rolling right now."
Sure enough, that's what Kenny was doing. Hector also gave Kenny a flower, resulting in a friend request for him and Emily.
"You have been sought out new kids, because humans everywhere are in great danger," said Cartman. "I need something from you two and, in return, I am prepared to allow both of you into my kingdom."
Hector and Emily smiled at that last part, mainly because it meant they get to make more friends.
"I know you're both very excited," said Cartman. "It's time for your first quest, but first- please tell us thy names."
"Thy names are Hector and Emily, we come from the distant land of New York," said Hector, who was enjoying this game so far.
"Very well, Hector and Emily," said Cartman. "You both will now choose a class: Fighter, Mage, Thief, or Jew." That last part made Hector chuckle, which Cartman noticed. "What's so funny?"
"One of the options is Jew," said Hector, as he managed to stop chuckling. "Sorry."
"It's ok," said Cartman, "besides, it helps with getting some perks and some of the Jew abilities involve magic." That last word made Hector pick Jew. "Now it is your turn Emily."
"I think I'll go with fighter, I always beat up kids who bully Hector," said Emily, slightly scaring Cartman in the process.
"Very well, here are the clothes for your respective classes," said Cartman, as he handed the duo their new outfits. Emily got a headband with a fight symbol and some yellow gloves, while Hector got a jewish hat, ring, and cape.
"Do I have to wear the Jew hat?" asked Hector.
"No, you can still wear your crown beanie, but only because it looks good on you," said Cartman.
1 costume change later…
"Welcome to the KKK, Hector the Jew and Emily the fighter!" said Cartman.
"Hooray!" said Butters.
"Now, please go and visit the weapons shop," said Cartman. "Procure yourselves weapons and we shall teach you two to fight."
Hector and Emily walked to Clyde.
"Would you like to see my wares, weary travelers?" asked Clyde. "Perhaps you would like to hear tips and rumors for two dollars?"
"No thanks, we just need weapons," said Hector.
"Very well, here you go," said Clyde, handing the duo their weapons. He gave Hector a Jewish Staff, and Emily a Warrior's Blade. "That'll be $4.68."
Hector counted his money, and gave Clyde the amount he asked for.
"Ah! You have procured weapons. Nice," said Cartman, as he walked towards Hector and Emily. "It is now time to teach you both how to fight. I want you to take your new weapons, and, with the bravery of noble knights- beat up Clyde."
"What?" said Clyde.
"Kick his ass, you two."
"What'd I do?"
"I'm the king, Clyde, and the King wishes to be amused! Go on, you two, kick his ass." He stepped out of their way, as the fight began.
"Sorry Clyde, no hard feelings," said Emily. She then punched Clyde in the guts.
"Take this," said Clyde, as he swung his sword. He missed Emily, but he managed to leave a scar on Hector's chin.
"You think that's tough? Watch this!" said Hector, as charged at Clyde. He then started to repeatedly hit Clyde, before finishing him off with the Sling of David.
"Ha ha haaa! Dude, that was awesome!" said Cartman, after the fight was over. "You were both like BRAMMGMG! And Clyde was all like AHGHG NOO! Ha ha haaaa!" Eventually, he stopped laughing. "Okay, okay. You've proved yourselves worthy, Hector and Emily. Now, come inside the war tent and I shall let you see the relic."
Hector and Emily followed Cartman into the "war tent".
"Well here it is," began Cartman. "The reason why humans and elves are locked in a never ending war. The relic for which humans and elves are willing to die… The Stick of Truth."
All Hector and Emily saw was an ordinary stick. Then again, they are playing pretend.
"Just two days ago, we took the Stick back from the elves," continued Cartman. "Our kingdom was dying, but now we thrive. For whoever controls the Stick, controls the universe."
"Cool," said Emily, who was impressed by the dedication Cartman had to this game.
"I know, but don't gaze at it too long!" continued Cartman. "For its power is too much for mere mortals to look at! Now that you both have seen The Stick of Truth, let's discuss your dues."
"Dude, if you want us to play the game then don't fucking charge us," said Hector.
"Ok fine, you two can join the kingdom for free," said Cartman.
"That's better," Hector.
"ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!" shouted Butters.
"What's going on?" asked Emily.
"Someone has sounded the alarm!" said Cartman.
"Alarm! Alarm! Alarm!" said Butters, as he ran into the war tent.
"What is it?"
"The elves are attacking!"
"Oh my God! Defensive positions!" The four kids ran out of the tent. "Man the gate! Don't let them through!"
"Give us the stick humans!" said a blonde elf.
"Fuck you, drow elves! Come and get it!" said Cartman. "CLYDE! GUARD THE STICK OF TRUTH WHILE WE DEFEND THE FORTRESS!"
"Aye, aye!" said Clyde.
"Aye, aye? We're not playing PIRATES Clyde!" said Cartman. "Hector and Emily, this is your chance to prove yourselves. HOLD OFF THE ASSHOLE ELVES AT ALL COST!"
"Got it!" said Hector and Emily, in unison.
Suddenly, Hector got an idea. He took his Jewish staff, started spinning, and swung his staff at the elves, knocking them all to the ground.
"DROW ELVES! FALL BACK! FALL BACK I SAY!" said the blonde elf, as all the elves ran away.
"YES! Awesome dude!" said Cartman. "TAKE THAT, YOU ASSHOLE ELVES! Better luck next time! NA NA NA NAAAA NA! WE STILL CONTROL THE UNIVERSE! HA HA HA HA HAAAA HA!"
But Cartman's celebration was cut short.
"It's gone." said Clyde, causing Cartman to stop celebrating.
"What?" said Cartman, Hector and Emily, in unison.
"The Stick of Truth. The elves got it." said Clyde.
"THAT WAS YOUR ONE GODDAMN JOB CLYDE!" snapped Cartman. "TO GUARD THE STICK OF FUCKING TRUTH!" When he managed to calm down. "Clyde… you are hereby BANISHED FROM SPACE AND TIME!"
"What?! No!" said Clyde. "You can't do that!"
"Actually Clyde, he can," said Emily, "now, you're lost in time and space."
"Yeah, go home and cry to your mommy!" said Hector, causing Clyde to burst into tears as he ran back home. "What's up his ass?"
"You insulted his dead mother," said Butters. Surprisingly, Hector didn't show any remorse.
"Well, at least she didn't die in stupid way," said Emily.
"If dying in a toilet is a stupid way to die, then hold in that laughter," said Cartman. "Anyways, you both fought bravely on the battlefield, Hector and Emily."
"Yeah, these two may be New Kids but they sure can fight!" said Scott Mallkinson.
"Shut up, Scott, nobody cares about what you think," said Cartman. "Anyways, we have a bigger problem now. The Stick of Truth has been stolen and we must assemble our ENTIRE army in order to get it back."
"But our three best warriors still haven't reported for duty my king!" said Butters.
"Our newest members can take care of that!" said Cartman. "Hector and Emily, I want you both to go out into the neighborhood and find my greatest warriors, Token, Tweek, and Craig. I am texting their pictures to your personal inventory devices now."
Hector and Emily got notifications on their iPhones, and sure enough, it was the information of the three warriors.
"But beware…" continued Cartman, "the lands outside are full of marauding drow elves, monsters and sixth graders. Be sure you are both well equipped. Now go! And send my warriors here! Butters, go with them."
Butters nodded, as he, Hector, and Emily set out to find the warriors.
So, what do you guys think so far? Sorry this chapter is a bit long, I was planning to make the entire first day you spend in The Stick of Truth the first chapter of this fanfic, but then I realized it would've taken longer to release this. PLEASE REVIEW!