Author's note: My very first piece of fanfiction, Back Before Summer Starts, involved Wendy encountering an older Dipper and Mabel from a different world, a universe where Dipper's the older twin, the Northwests never lost their fortune, and a few other differences from the Gravity Falls we all know. This story is set in their reality, years before that encounter.
While it's not necessary, I'd definitely recommend reading Back Before Summer Starts before reading this story, even if it's only to refresh your memory. It's not my best but I'm still very proud of the ending.
PREQUEL TO SECOND SUMMER
The old witch gazed at his hand like a cartographer studying a map, taking in every detail with an experienced eye that took in more information than most could for a deeper meaning, her face so close to the palm that her long, crooked nose almost touched the skin.
"Yes," she murmured after a few minutes. "Yes, I see now. There's no denying it." She looked the hand's owner in the eye with a piercing gaze. "I'm afraid you're going to die."
Stanley Pines glared at her, not at all pleased with that answer. "What are you, my doctor? Geez, lady, I asked about the Big Game next week, not my health! You gonna tell me who'll win or am I going to have to guess?"
The Hand Witch scowled. "I thought you'd want to hear the more important bit first."
"Lady, I'll decide what's important," Stan growled. "I could be making some serious moolah if I bet on the right team here, especially if you got the details on the final score and who delivers it! Or is that too tricky for you?"
"I read palms, how am I supposed to get sports news from that?" she snapped. "Unless you're part of the team, I can't exactly check that, can I? Besides, impending death would be enough for most people," she muttered.
Stan rolled his eyes. "Oh, wow, what a shock, old people die. Alright, alright. If you can't give me the details of the game, can you at least give me a little more info on when I do croak?"
"Doesn't quite work like that," she said, taking his hand again. "However, I can tell you that it will be...soon."
"Soon," he repeated.
"Yes. Very soon."
"Is it going to be in five minutes when it hits me that I paid actual money for this and have a heart attack from the outrage and shame?"
"Not that soon."
"Whoopee," Stan grunted. "Okay then, what about the how? What finally does me in? Aneurysm? Troll? Disgruntled former-business partner?"
"Can't really make out anything that specific- wait." The Hand Witch frowned, peering at his palm. "I see something...important. Very important. According to this...you will die…"
"Of old age waiting for you to answer?" Stan guessed.
She threw him a look before loosening her talon-like grip and letting him take his hand back. "No. I can see...that you'll die a very happy man."
There was a heavy silence, the noises of activity and amusement muffled more than they should have been by the fabric of the tent.
"No refunds," the Hand Witch said before he'd even had a chance to open his mouth.
Stan's eyes bulged in fury. But after experiencing five hand-related curses from the old witch, even he'd finally learned not to try and scam his way out of paying her for anything. He did, however, slam the money down with obvious displeasure, muttering insults and magic-free curses under his breath as he stormed out, past the small que of people waiting to have their palms read.
The Hand Witch's tent was just one of many attractions at Mama Misfortune's Travelling Carnival and Freak Show. There were stands of cheap food, simple carnival games, and attractions of such poor quality that they made even the early days of the Mystery Shack look decent in comparison. Which was why they had come: Stan suggested it might be a good idea to check out the place to see if they might want to spend a day or two at the Shack and attract twice as many customers for a bit.
Well, that was the official reason. The real reason was that Angelina and Louise seemed a bit stressed-out lately and he thought it would be a good idea to take them out for a bit. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone, lest they think he cared.
He put his hand over his eyes and looked at the sky. The bright, sunny day was fading into night and it looked like some of the stalls and attractions were starting to close, with many people making their way to the car park.
He made a detour to one of the shooting galleries, taking longer than expected before heading there himself, his 'winnings' in a bag dangling from one hand. He saw the girls were standing outside their dad's jeep, talking and probably waiting on him so he sped up a little,
using his eight ball cane to keep himself steady. For most of the time he'd had it, it had been more for decoration and to assist with the showmanship. Now he couldn't make it to the front gate without its help.
Not that he minded, really. Just another part of growing old. Besides, as long as he didn't try too many steps, he could still point and twirl it, letting him keep some of that old roguish charm.
"Alright, figure I've got enough info to keep your dad happy," he said as he reached them. "You girls all set?"
"Uh-huh," Angelina Ramirez said, her younger sister, Louise, nodding beside her. "Pretty fun to check out other places once in a while. You get any new ideas from the place."
"One or two," Stan shrugged. "Not much there to be honest."
"Saw you in the queue for the fortune-teller," Louise said. "Was going to see her myself but didn't get around to it."
"Would've wasted your money," Stan grunted. "My Ma was a phony-psychic, only difference was Ma probably looks better, even in her grave."
"Grandpa Stan, that's mean!" Louise said, though both girls were laughing.
It was a title Stan had tried to ignore when it had first been bestowed on him by the oldest of Soos and Melody's children, figuring it would stop once the truth was explained and they grew up a little. Instead, it had been passed down and shared amongst them and none of them showed any interest in stopping. Which Stan was perfectly happy with, even if he'd never admit it.
"So what's in the bag?" Louise asked.
"Just some things," he answered evasively, pulling out a pair of stuffed toys. "Won them at a couple of games when I tried them out." In actual fact, he'd barely hit any targets, his cataracts were that bad these days. But the man at the gallery had been more than happy to hand over the prizes if you slipped him enough cash. "Figured you girls can look at them, test them out and decide if they're worth getting some for the Shack."
He passed Louise a brightly coloured creature with huge eyes, a cross between a rodent and...some other rodent. Whatever. He had no idea what it was and he thought the thing looked too weird to be cute, but it had those big anime eyes and the girl was even more nuts about that stuff than her dad was. Besides, he was sure he'd seen her wear a t-shirt with the little monster on it, or at least something similar.
"Uh-huh," said Angelina, taking her own, much more standard looking toy from Stan as Louise let out a delighted squeal. "And I suppose you also have enough for Bethany and Uncle Dipper's girls too?"
"Pure coincidence," Stan said, scratching his chin and looking away as the sisters smiled. "We heading out or what?"
The drive back to the Shack was uneventful, Angelina driving and Louise beside her so Stan could stretch out a little more in the back. The girls talked away about the different attractions and features of the carnival. Louise had tried out some of the small rides and met a few of her friends who were also there, but Angelina had the most detail about the prices, number of stalls, the layout, etcetera. Then again, she had always been the most business-savvy one and Stan was a little impressed to see how much she'd picked up after one afternoon. Most importantly, both of them seemed more relaxed than they had over the past couple of days.
Probably due to school. This was Angelina's last year and she wasn't sure if she should go to college and study something about business, or stick around for another year and try to get more first-hand experience managing the Shack. Louise on the other hand was heading into her last year and Melody had told him she still wasn't sure what she wanted to do with her life.
Don't need to worry about that, kid , Stan thought to himself as they approached their old Tourist Trap, now in much better condition than when Stan had run it. All the time in the world to sort out that crap when you've got parents like yours to support you.
"Hey, guys!" Bethany called out from the shop window, still wearing her green question mark t-shirt, despite the shop not being open today. "Looks like you just made it in time to avoid the rain. So, how was it? Did you manage to find Madam Misfortune?"
"Doubt there is one, kiddo," Stan grunted, getting out of the car with some effort as Bethany came rushing out to meet them. "Told Ford where we were going and he said this carnival has been around since we were in our thirties. Probably not a real person, or if there is then the title's probably passed on to whoever's in charge of the place at the time, keep the spirit alive and
"Like how you used to be Mister Mystery and now it's Dad!" Bethany said, brightly. Just short of fifteen, she was the youngest of the Ramirez sisters and while she was the spitting image of her mother on the outside, she was exactly like her father on the inside, thus making her Stan's favourite, though he tried not to show it. "That's still cool. Did you have fun?"
"Yeah!" Louise cried, squeezing her toy tightly. "Look what Grandpa Stan bought us! There's one for you too!"
"I did not buy it!" Stan snapped, "I won them! It's a business thing, nothing more!""
"I love it anyway," Bethany said, holding her leopard tight. "Thank you, Grandpa Stan."
Stan's lips tightened at their annoyingly grateful smiles. I used to be feared. Kids would take a look at my face and run screaming! Now look at what I've become.
He let out a resigned sigh and off-handedly held out the bag containing a pair of stuffed sheep. "Here. Hand these to Dipper next time he's around. For his girls. But it's purely so they can act as sample-testers! I'm expecting you to call him for updates on quality and appeal to that age-group!"
"Sure, Stan, whatever you say," Angelina said, smirking as she took them inside.
Stan rolled his eyes and looked around. "Where's my car? Mabel said it'd be here by now."
"It's round the back," Bethany told him, turning the stuffed leopard in her hands to look at it from every direction. "Dropped it off not long after you left."
Stan looked at his watch. "Great. Me and the boys are having a card game, got time to get there first, order a few drinks and make 'em less careful with their money. See you girls later."
"Bye, Grandpa Stan!" Louise and Bethany said, Angelina following shortly after from inside.
"What are you looking for?" Louise asked as Bethany continued to look at her toy from every angle.
"Checking to see if there's a note attached with some magic incantation that'll bring it to life."
Louise scoffed. "C'mon, Beth, what are the chances of that happening? Again. Nah, most you'll get from that cheap carnival is a toy that makes a sound if you squeeze its belly."
"Suppose you're right," Bethany shrugged, pressing her thumbs deep into its middle.
A scream rang out, loud enough that the birds in the trees took to the skies.
"Aw, no, I think I killed it," Bethany gasped, staring at the leopard in horror as Louise looked around in alarm.
"What the heck was that?" Angelina demanded, sticking her head out the shop window.
"Gonna kill her," Stan growled, marching towards the front door faster than he had in years. "This is the last straw, family be damned, gonna sick a lawyer on her if I have to-"
Angelina and Louise stared after their adopted grandfather before turning to Bethany, who looked puzzled. "Wonder if that's about the car?"
Angelina and Louise shared a look before Angelina came outside, all three making their way round the back to see what all the fuss was about.
"Woah!" Louise cried, staring at the vehicle.
"Aunt Mabel really outdid herself this time," Bethany agreed, admiring it.
"Must be one of her marketing stunts" Angelina said, stroking her chin thoughtfully. "Definitely more eye-grabbing than a billboard."
"How many people do you think saw this?" Louise asked as they went in for a closer look.
"Mabel said she drove it through the city," Bethaney told them. "Had an exhibition or something. Then all the way back here."
"Oh, man," Louise laughed. "Stan's going to freak when she tells him."
"Come on, number six!" Mabel yelled, shaking the dice in her hands. "Or five. Or nine. Whatever gets me sheep, I ain't picky." She blew on them for that little extra luck and let them go just as the phone rang. "Aw, nuts," she cursed softly as they came up short of any of her requested numbers, her husband handing her a resource card she didn't want.
"Your turn," he added as she took it.
"Shouldn't you get the phone, cheer me up from my losing streak?" she asked, frowning at her hand.
Tommy shrugged. "That would be the gentlemanly thing to do. Thankfully, I'm not a gentleman so I don't qualify. It's your fault really, you should have better taste in men."
"I'll try and do better next time," she said with a smile, getting up and going to the phone.
"Yello, this Mabel, how can-"
"You little monster!" A voice roared down the line, so loud she tore it away from her ear. "What the hell have you done to my car, you damn vandal!?"
Mabel blinked, hesitantly returning the phone to her ear. "Stan? Is that you?"
"Of course it's me!" he yelled back, though she was prepared for it this time. "Who else's car have you wrecked! Give me their names and I'll form a mob, pitchforks and all!"
Mabel frowned. "Okay, I know I might have gone a little overboard-"
"A little overboard?" Stan yelled, pacing up and down Soos' office, leaning heavily on his cane. "A little?" He stormed over to the window, glaring at his beloved Stanmobile. "You put lipstick on the damn thing! And eyelashes! All you need's the little umbrella and it'd be fit for Penelope Pittstop!"
"I don't know who that is. Is that an old person reference?"
"You even made it smell girly! What happened to my manly musk? Thing stinks of perfume!"
"That wasn't musk, Stan, that was sweat. Smelly, smelly, sweat. You should know that, we've been telling you for two decades."
"Took me years to get it to smell like that" Stan continued, not really listening. "And why in God's name did you have to put whiskers on it?"
"Yeah, I'll admit the whiskers might have been too much," Mabel relented. "Honestly, I wasn't going to add them but Pacifica knew one of hosts for the exhibition and apparently she's really into that sort of-"
"Wait, exhibition? What exhibition? Where? How many people were there?"
"The one in Portland. And there weren't that many? A couple of hundred, maybe about fifty photographers-"
"Photographers? They took pictures of my car looking like something from a Hanna-Barbera cartoon?"
"Oh, I actually get that reference! They're the ones responsible for Scooby Doo, right? Wait, is that where the Penelope lady's from? Sound familiar, now I think about it-"
"Never mind who she is! You should be explaining to me why you decided to ruin my car after I let you use it for a day!"
"I told you! It had the perfect body but we still needed some alterations-"
"I thought you meant paint a flower on it, not give it a freaking face!"
"If you didn't want me to do it, you should have told me that when I showed you the pictures!"
"You never showed me any damn pictures!"
"Oh, you lying liar! I sent the text with the designs myself!"
"You know I don't know how to work that thing, how was I supposed to check?"
"Oh, so it's my problem you're too insecure to ask anyone how to use your phone?"
"Don't try and blame this on me, you little menace! You should have gotten my consent instead of going ahead anyway!"
"It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission!"
"Who the hell taught you that?"
"You did, you idiot!"
"I'm a conman with a criminal record! You should know better than to listen to me!"
"Argh! You're impossible!"
"And you're a nuisance! I was going to see the guys tonight, how the hell am I meant to go anywhere with my boy looking like that! They'll laugh at him and, worse, me!"
"Then buy a cab, you cheapskate! And everyone knows cars are girls, so they should see how pretty she is!"
"How the hell can a car called the Stanmobile be a girl? That makes no sense! And even if it were a she, she'd definitely never be the kind of lady I'd like to be seen with!"
"Are you insulting my art?" Mabel growled, what little patience she had left evaporating.
"Art?" Stan laughed mockingly. "Is that what you call it? I've seen your nieces do better with crayons!"
"I don't know how to argue that without making it sound like I'm insulting my nieces! Just for that, you're uninvited to next weekend! We'll see how high and mighty you are when you find out we had steak without you!"
"Oh, don't worry about that! I'll get my own, sharpen it myself to go right through your heart!"
"Bite me!"
"Before or after I see you in hell?"
Mabel let out a furious yell, one that Stan matched, both screaming down the phone at the other until Mabel slammed the phone down, seething. Then she paused for a moment before hitting redial.
"WHAT?" Stan immediately barked.
"Hanging up on you once wasn't enough!" Mabel snarled. "And me and my hubby are going to spend all night trying to make a baby, so try and get that image out of your head! You stupid, miserable old man!"
She slammed the phone down again, storming into the living room and throwing herself down on the cushion, muttering insults all the while. They only stopped when she looked at the game on the table and suddenly remembered she had company. "Kind of regretting that second call," she admitted.
"You're not the only one," her mother sighed as her father pressed his fingers against his eyes, and her husband sheepishly handed her the dice.
"Think it's over?" Bethany asked.
"Shouting stopped so I guess so," Angelina shrugged.
"Grandpa Stan seemed pretty angry this time," Louise noted.
"Yeah, but he'll be fine. You know how he is."
The sisters made noises of consent, not thinking much more of it as they continued to check the inventory for tomorrow.
They all stopped when they heard a strange sound coming from outside, almost like a whisper. At first, they assumed it was the weather, which had been steadily worsening after their arrival. Then they noticed the strong sense of sulfur, and as they listened closer, the whisper became clearer and they could make out what sounded like a strange dialect, from a voice they knew well.
One of the windows rattled and shook as a cloud of purple smoke appeared outside, pushing at it hard until Bethany leaned over and opened it, letting the smoke in. It floated around the roam, as if searching, before hovering over the counter, gathering into a ball as the sisters waited.
The smoke slowly cleared as a figure appeared from inside, coughing. When enough of it had faded, they could see a small gnome standing in the centre, dressed in purple robes, a gold star stitched into his pointy hat. The gnome looked around the room, his beady eyes filled with malice as a sinister smirk spread across his face.
He stepped towards the edge of the counter, sparks flying from his fingertips as he threw his arms wide. "I! HAVE! RETURNED!"
"...What are we doing for dinner?" Angelina asked after a moment of silence. "I could cook the salmon from our fishing trip?"
"Nah, Mom said they'd bring us something back from Smokey Joe's."
"Okay, maybe we can have it tomorrow."
Biff looked at each of the human girls, his arms dropping slightly at their lack of fear. He shook his head, deciding that he wouldn't let a failed first attempt deter him. "I! Have! Returned!" he shouted again.
"So what should we watch tonight?" Bethany asked. "Movie? Show? Anything new?"
"There's this new anime I think you two would love, about the leader of this space colony who's trying to broker a peace between one of their neighbouring colonies to unite against this ancient enemy but she's-"
"Really not into anything political right now. What else?"
"I have returned!"
"I saw an advert for this totally, awesomely rad show, about a secret agent who goes undercover to stop an evil genius, but they find out and do experiments on him! So they give him dinosaur DNA, which gives him dino powers that he uses to fight them while searching for a cure, while trying to keep it all a secret from his wife and kids!"
"I - I have returned!"
"Why would they experiment on the guy who's fighting them if a side effect can give him superpowers? Just shoot him. And why would he want a cure for something that gives you superpowers?"
"I dunno, that's why I'm so excited to find out! Mystery!"
"I have returned?"
"Maybe we should watch more of one of the shows we've already started? At this rate we'll forget what happened or get spoilers if we don't catch up."
Biff looked between the sisters, his heart dropping as they continued to ignore him. He pulled out the magic tome he'd spent the last several months searching for, his eagerness to test the spells within ruined by their indifference. "I have returned," he sighed one last time, slipping the tome back into his robes and making his way towards the window. "You'll rue the day you crossed me," he added before he hopped out, though his heart wasn't in it, Bethany closing it behind him.
"Ugh, that image is gonna haunt me," Stan growled stepping into the shop.
"You okay, Grandpa Stan?" Louise asked as he leaned against the counter.
"Yep," Stan grunted, pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes. "Nothin' some bleach and a melon scoop wouldn't fix." He looked at his watch and let out a loud groan. "Great, now it's too late to buy a round before the game. That's it, test out those toys and tell your folk I'll see them later. And I'm taking the spare jeep! No way I'm going anywhere in my car," he growled, shaking his head in disgust.
"Hang on a second and I'll drive you," Angelina said, looking for her jacket.
"Nah, I'll be out late," Stan said, waving away her offer. "If you take me I'd have to grab a cab afterwards and you know those crooks overcharge! Anyway, your parents'll be home soon and you'll miss your dinner."
"You sure, Grandpa Stan?" Bethany asked, looking out the window. "Seems pretty bad out there."
"I'm sure," he said in a tone they were all familiar with. "I'm not blind yet and I've been driving the same road since before your Dad was born. Besides," he added, glaring out the window and thinking back to his fortune from that afternoon, "I'm too miserable to die."
They seemed a little puzzled by that but they knew better than to waste their time arguing with him so simply waved goodbye as he left, driving too fast as he always did.
The rain was heavy, giving only him only glimpses of the road ahead, even with the windshield wipers on full. Stan mumbled curses as he sped through the woods, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he thought of his car and the advantage he'd lost in the card game.
"All her fault," he grumbled bitterly as he tore round a corner, tyres skidding on the wet asphalt. "Nerve of that girl, ruining my car like that. Who knows who saw it? Going to be the laughing stock of the town. Geez, wait'll Wendy hears! Swear, if any of them say one word, I'll-"
Deer!
Stan wrestled with the wheel as the jeep went into a spin in his attempt to avoid it, his head and heart pounding as the world went round and round, the rain-soaked road offering no grip to stop it as he lost control, barely able to see through the rain, couldn't get control, couldn't-
Stan felt his stomach lurch as he heard a bump that vibrated through his body before gravity seemed to fail, everything inside floating through the air as the world slowed down, his eyes widening as he saw what he was heading towards.
And, as annoyingly, stupidly cliché as he would otherwise have found it, visions flashed before his eyes. Not every memory, thankfully, but the important ones. The faces of the people who'd mattered most, running through his mind as clearly as if they had been right in front of him, some more frequent than others.
Ford. Ma. Pa. Shermy. Ford. Carla. Ma. Ford. Shermy. Dipper. Mabel. Soos. Dipper. Mabel. Soos. Wendy. Dipper. Mabel. Ford. Mabel. Soos. Melody. Pacifica. Dipper. Wendy. Soos. Melody. Laura. Melanie. Angelina. Louise. Bethany. Mabel. Dipper. Pacifica. Olivia. Sylvia. Mabel. Tommy. Mabel.
Mabel.
"You stupid, miserable old man!"
Seeing her face flash last and longest in front of him, he had just enough time to smile before he hit the tree.
And Stanley Pines died a very happy man.