A scream tore through the night sending chills through the occupants witnessing the tragic scene. The loud shrill heart monitor flatlining rang through everyone's very cores.
The Central City, Star Labs; Medbay, was usually the scene for pain, injuries, anguish and fear but never before was it ever a place for tragedy.
Barry Allen's family stood around him solemnly as they watched him mourn and fall apart over the body of the woman he loved. Tears tracked down their anguished faces as they too mourned the loss of Team Flash's Heart.
Dr. Caitlin Snow was dead.
Cisco Ramon was at a loss of words for the first time in his life. His eyes were taking in the scene before him but his mind couldn't process anything; everything felt like a dream, like a Vibe vision. Slowly he turned away from the scene hoping that if he did so he would snap back into the present world were his best female friend would still be alive and he would have time to figure out how to prevent her tragedy.
But damning his luck he saw everyone else standing next to him wearing the same sorrow marring their features.
Harrison 'Harry' Wells stood by him face pinched but tears slipping slowly.
Next to Harry stood Joe West, Barry's foster father; who looked like he was doing everything in his power to reign in the sorrow as he was holding tightly to Cecile Horton. Cecile the teams Empath and Mother figure looked like she was barely holding herself together as she no doubt was receiving their pain loud and clear.
Next to them stood Barry's foster sister; Iris West as she cried for brother's loss.
As Cisco's eyes were about to land on Ralph Dibny's form he felt a current of static run through him. It took him a few seconds for his sluggish mind to process where it had come from. Swiftly he turned his head back to the tragic scene.
Lightning ran through Barry's now silent and still form, though his tears never faltered. Looking into his Best Friend's tearful but determined eyes Cisco knew what was going to happen. Cisco knew that Barry was going to run away from Caitlin's death and attempt to prevent it.
Cisco knew that there might be consequences from whatever actions Barry would more than likely take but for once he didn't care because Cisco knew he wouldn't be able to live in a world without his sister Caitlin Snow.
Barry ran and ran and ran and kept on running from his pain. He knew he was being selfish, he knew he had promised her he wouldn't do this for her, he knew that he swore to himself that he couldn't ever betray her wishes. But back then he didn't know that loosing her would hurt this much. He didn't know that loosing her would feel like he'd lost his heart and soul.
Looking ahead he saw the opening. He saw his way to salvation and with an extra burst of speed he dove into the time portal.
He'd run through this portal a few times before and he knew what to look for, he knew where he needed to exit through.
Barry saw his exit up ahead through glassy eyes and he smiled ready to see a vivacious Caitlin once again. As he drew near he was damn near sure he could smell her sweet scent before he felt something pull him back.
The force sent the speedster tumbling backwards and in the blink of an eye he saw his exit crumble out of existence along with whatever hope he had left.
He felt numb inside and out. His mind finally felt like it had slowed down. And he wasn't sure how to feel.
He should be happy to not be feeling like he was drowning in sorrow and anguish but at the same time he should be angry that he couldn't feel his love for Caitlin running through his blood. He should be relieved not to feel the impact of his body against the very real concrete floor beneath him but at the same time he feels hollow at his body not reacting to those familiar hands gently caressing his jaw. He should feel comforted not to hear her screams and subsequent last breathe but at the same time he feels distressed at not being able to hear his name fall softly from her lips.
And yet all at once reality came crashing down on him and he felt everything again. Instinctively Barry closed his eyes, attempting to shut out the failure of his new reality. But no matter what he did he still felt her hand on his face and her voice so close to him calling out his name.
"Cait." Barry whispered softly.
"Oh, Barry, my sweet Barry; you can open your eyes now, there's much we need to discuss." The sweet familiar voice whispered back.
Snapping his eyes open Barry saw the smile he thought he would never see aimed at him ever again.
"Cait, I found you, I didn't- I didn't fail you again. I saved you." He hated how his voice trembled with pain but he couldn't help it. She was with him again.
"I'm afraid, I couldn't allow you to mess with the timeline again Barry Allen. You may have made great strides as Central City's hero but in saving your beloved you have failed." Caitlin answered back, her face loosing the soft smile and her voice devoid of any emotion.
The once calm relief that had coursed through his body at seeing her smile and feeling her touch was replaced with pure ice cold dread. Reeling away from the phantom wearing his Cait's face he managed to jump off of the floor and make it a few steps before his speed began to give out. Barely managing to break his fall he stumbled onto the gurney that was placed at the center of the room.
Looking around him he took in his surroundings, doing everything in his powers to overlook the being, he found himself in the very room he had run away from in his grief. But everything looked spotless and missing the chaotic mess left behind in their haste to treat Caitlin.
"Why am I back here? How did you pull me out of the Speedforce? Who are you and why are you wearing her face? What gives you the right to defile her form to taunt me like this?" His confusion quickly turned to ire.
"We already told you Barry Allen we could not allow you to wreak havoc with time. We were asked to prevent you from crossing a line that would leave a trail of despair within your very being. And as to why we wear your lovers face; it is not up to us what we appear to you as, but up to you as to whom your heart longs for in the moment we appear to you."
"You're the Speedforce." He stated more than asked after making his brain ignore the detachment of emotion in the voice he was so used never holding back any of its owners own emotion. But it still didn't answer his question. "You've never cared before what I did whenever I ran through time. You never actively stopped me from it, only after I did it. So again why did you personally stop me yourself?"
It was eerie looking at the omnipresent being looking back at him but he couldn't remove his eyes from it no matter how much it hurt him. He couldn't look away because he was trapped in a replica of Caitlin's Med Lab within the speedforce standing a few feet from a clone of the woman he had recently lost and unable to access his speed.
"We stopped you because we were asked to. She didn't want you to bend the laws of time to save her. She came to us because she understood your sense of loss. She was the only one who was ever able to understand you and help you in making the right choices.
"But with her gone and everyone else in pain she concluded that you would make a rash choice and hurt yourself; in the long run when time decided to catch up to you. She didn't want that for you she needed you to remember, your promise to her, the promise you made to each other. That you wouldn't meddle with time to save her and that she wouldn't try to recreate a Lazurus Pit in the speed lab to save you in return. She said that you had both lost enough people in your short lives to comprehend that time lessens the pain." The Speedforce Caitlin said, although monotone, her voice still sounding so much like his Caitlin, that it hurt.
"But I don't want to live the pain of her loss. I know what I promised then but no matter what I could make myself imagine I couldn't- I couldn't imagine it would hurt this much. Every loss from when I became the Flash didn't hurt as much because I had her. Because she was my heart, she was my soul, she was my very essence.
"I was only ever as strong as The Flash because she helped shoulder the pain. I was only as good at being The Flash because she was MY Caitlin Snow. And I know that you can help me. Let me deal with the fallout after I've brought her back. But please- please help me." Barry begged. He knew that if the AF!Caitlin would ask him to give up his powers he would. He was willing to do anything for his heart to stop hurting.
The clicking of familiar heels brought him back from his thoughts. Focusing his vision on to the SF!Caitlin as it made its way next to him. Smoothing down the red pencil skirt that matched his suit in color, SF!Caitlin took a seat at the foot of the gurney.
"That's not how it works. We cannot bring back the dead permanently. Speedsters have the ability to travel through time and change events. They may even be able to prevent a death at the price of disrupting the lives of those they care about. And they may have some more time to enjoy with them but time has a habit of catching up to itself reclaiming what the speedster attempted to save.
"It may take anywhere from a few minutes, to hours, to possibly weeks or months but eventually the speedster will loose their loved one again. And that loss will have them repeat the cycle believing themselves clever enough to try to outwit time by creating cracks in the very fabric of reality and possibly the destruction of that earth. The only way to stop your pain Barry Allen is too keep your Caitlin Snow alive."
Barry felt all his fight leaving him as he listened to her words. Removing his cowl he rubbed his face in frustration. He understood the consequences being listed might not be something he would want Caitlin to shoulder with him if he went against SF!Caitlin's warnings and still tried to bring his Cait back. He was about to admit defeat when he caught on to SF!Caitlin's last sentence. And just like that defeat turned to incredulity.
"Keeping her alive? You want me to keep her alive? If I could do that don't you think I wouldn't be here but instead back at the real Star Labs sitting by her bedside until she made a full recovery? I failed to save her. I failed her and that's why I tried to change the timeline. That's why Caitlin had you stop me. If I was able to keep her alive then I wouldn't be in PAIN and we wouldn't be HERE!"
"Yes, we wouldn't be here otherwise if your Caitlin Snow hadn't perished. But there are other ways of keeping a lost loved one alive, even after death. The secret to that would be to keep their memory alive and for that to happen you have to talk about them instead of making it a taboo to do so. So Barry Allen do you want to talk about your Caitlin Snow?"
Eyes shining with unshed tears Barry looked at the SF!Caitlin for what felt like an eternity, and given that they were in the speedforce it as well might've been. He wanted to fight back and argue on how that couldn't possible work. He wanted to do so much before an old memory surfaced.
The memory of Caitlin and himself a few weeks after he had awoken from his coma; in his old speedlab sitting atop the reinforced treadmill Cisco had first built him as he talked about his mother and she talked about Ronnie. How for the first time it didn't hurt or feel like a chore to talk about Nora Allen because Caitlin truly understood his pain.
Closing his eyes a few tears escaped his eyes. Tilting his head back he used his tongue to wet his dry lips; his adam's apple bobbed as he tried to swallow past the knot in his throat. With a heavy sigh he straightened up his posture brought his head back down and slowly made his way to the gurney. Keeping a few feet of distance between himself and the SF!Caitlin he took a seat.
"For the first few weeks after I woke up from my lightning coma, everytime I introduced Caitlin to people she would proudly declare herself as my personal physician. It was like it didn't matter how many phd's or doctorates she had or how many discoveries she made, making sure my lack of impulse control with my new abilities, didn't kill me; was her biggest achievement. She confided in me about her fears of facing the room where Ronnie died. She was so brave, braver than I could ever be. She faced the world head on and that strength was infectious.
"For years after my mother died I stopped singing because it was something that I always thought I couldn't do without feeling her loss. But Caitlin broke through that barrier. Her enthusiasm and drunken bravado lit a spark in me. 'Summer Lovin' Happened So Fast, I Met a Girl Crazy For Me'…."