Title: Snow White and the zombie apocalypse

Series: Twisted fairy tales

Author's note: This is also featured on Tumblr and my AO3 account.

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Snow White's stepmother killed the King by actually ripping his heart of his chest. Then she tried to eat Snow White as well, biting at the maid-in-waiting when she tried to protect Snow White, and then a hunter and the footman as well. Snow White took one last look at her father, his eyes wider than the hole in his chest, and she ran, even as the hunter tried to rip out her heart, her maid-in-waiting grabbed for her leg, and a footman had lunged at her throat. Their eyes were rabid, blood red with angry swirls of black through them, and they were hungry. Luckily, one of the other hunters hadn't been bitten yet; he moved into the dining hall and chopped off their heads, yelling at Snow White to run. She nodded and ran, thinking that she might just survive this if she had a hunter to protect her. She looked back only once, just in time to see her stepmother take a giant bite out of her saviour, who went down screaming. Well, there went that idea.

Snow White ran into the forest as far as she could, certain she could still hear those terrible moaning sounds behind her. She realised far too late that she was lost, but figured it was a good thing; maybe the undead cannibal people could get lost too. Still, she didn't want to make it too easy for them, lying on the ground like a buffet, so she climbed up a tree to sleep. While her cloak made a good rope to hold her up, Snow White wished her crown was made out of food instead of priceless metals and jewels. Exhausted, she slept fitfully, waking at every groan of the trees in the wind and startling awake whenever she felt like she'd fall off her branch.

The next morning, Snow White woke to the unmistakable sounds of an undead cannibalistic person. It definitely wasn't the trees this time. She looked down from her perch and saw the thing sniffing between its moans and dripping... something. Snow White was kind of trapped. She couldn't get down without alerting the thing to her presence - though she suspected it already knew where she was - and besides, she didn't have anywhere to go. Looking around the treetops desperately, Snow White blinked in surprise when she saw a cottage further into the forest, resting on its own little hill with a stream running past. It looked so quaint and picturesque, so out of place considering the last 24 hours, that Snow White was sure she was dreaming. She rubbed her eyes, pinched herself, and looked again. It was still there and she was definitely awake. There could be survivors there, or perhaps some food, at the very least.

Snow White untied her cloak from the branch, trying not to make too much noise. She tied it around her crown, then swung it a bit to test it. This could be either a very good or very bad decision, she thought, carefully climbing down to the lower branches. Leaning along the branch to fully support her weight, Snow White slowly lowered her makeshift weapon. She swung it back and forth, then lowered it further and smashed her crown straight into the undead person's head. Their skull crumpled, and their body collapsed to the ground as well. Snow White felt sure that her heart was going to beat out of her chest. She'd just killed someone! With her crown! She'd told her father it was too heavy, honestly.

Making her way down the trunk to the forest floor was not an act of grace or subtlety. Snow White spent a few minutes brushing bark and muddy stains off her clothes the best she could, then headed towards the cottage. The bridge across the stream was sturdy, and Snow White stopped to drink some water, realising how thirsty she was. Arriving at the cottage, she hoped she looked presentable and wouldn't be mistaken for an undead cannibal. She knocked on the door and heard some scuffling inside, a soft whispered argument that she couldn't quite hear.

Zombies don't knock, ijits!

The door opened and Snow White looked down to see an angry dwarf armed with an axe. It still had blood on it. Her voice trembled a little as she introduced herself and asked for help. The dwarf looked behind Snow White, then pulled her inside without answering.

You can stay, but you ain't freeloading, understood?

Snow White nodded firmly. She was soon surrounded by all seven of the dwarves, eager to introduce themselves. They were brothers, lived together to save on rent, and worked in a mine deeper in the forest. But since their boss had turned into a zombie and was unlikely to pay them, they refused to go back. They were immune to zombie bites, which was good for Avo the youngest dwarf, who'd been bitten by their late boss. Snow White told them her story, and showed them her cloak and crown weapon. The grumpy one who'd opened the door scoffed, talking about weights and trajectory and how a zombie needed to be far too close for her weapon to be practical. Snow White still felt like a guest; she didn't want to be rude and point out the fact he had an axe. Avo didn't have her problem though and hit his brother on the head.

Axe is a secondary weapon. Crossbow's first.

They all showed her their weapons, cast from iron forged steel as all dwarf weapons were. They all had crossbows as their primary weapons, and her attention was directed to the various piles of arrows sitting in each room. Failing that, the forest had enough twigs and branches to use in a hurry. Secondary weapons varied, pick axes were popular with three brothers, a dagger for another, a large hammer for the eldest, the grumpy one's axe, and Avo had a pair of nun-chucks. Snow White complimented their weapons and skill.

The eldest, introduced as Tor, asked to look at her crown and cape. Wary, Snow White handed it over. Tor tested the weight, then told his brothers and Snow White to stand back. He swung the weapon high above his head, the crown swinging past Snow White's head and going around, around until Tor slowly lowered it back down to a stop.

It's a good weapon if you know the best way to use it. The thread is good quality and strong enough to last a while yet. Do you know how to use any other weapons?

I can use a bow. I was top of my archery class, she added when the grumpy one didn't look impressed.

Tor nodded, had a brief discussion with his brothers, then looked up at Snow White. You can stay. We'll make you a bow to help protect yourself. We have to find food in the forest before winter or the zombies come upon us, so we won't be here all the time. Can you cook and clean?

She was a Princess who had others to do those things, but Snow White promised she was a fast learner. Tor and Grumpy seemed a little skeptical but Avo pulled her to the kitchen and proudly handed her three heavy recipe books.

Snow White slept properly that night, not even bothered by the sound of several dwarves snoring.

Over the course of a week, she'd discovery that she actually wasn't too bad at cooking and cleaning. Her hands, arms, legs, everything were sore in the first few days but Snow White became used to the labour.

Tor and his brothers presented her with a bow after a week, and Snow White spent a few days practising to get her skill back to its usual standard. Grumpy actually seemed impressed at her ability to hit the bullseye on the targets he placed.

The animals of the forest hated the zombies more than the dwarves and remaining humans. They recognised the wrongness of the zombies and soon took to attacking them, tearing them to pieces even if they were small herbivore creatures. It was the main reason the dwarves allowed their diet to become vegetarian, since the animals were doing their part, and besides, not even Tor knew if the animals could pass on infection. The dwarves spent time protecting their cottage, sharpening tree branches into spikes, using meat (usually from other zombies) to lure the zombies into traps and kill them easier. Avo spent most of his time collecting for winter: wood, berries, and as many edible plants as he could find.

Snow White was alone when one of the zombies made it through the forest's barriers, natural, animal, and dwarf-made alike. She recognised her stepmother straight away, despite the decomposing face and torn clothes. The ex-Queen didn't make it to the bridge. Snow White pulled back her bow and fired an arrow straight into her heart. Another went between her eyes, and her stepmother dropped, really dead this time. Snow White went back inside, washed her hands, and continued to cook, whistling as she worked.

Grumpy seemed less grumpy after that, but he still didn't give a name, and his brothers had started to call him Grumpy anyway. Snow White made him his favourite meal to make up for it.

Time passed, winter came, and they spent most of it huddled in the cottage and trying not to imagine the wind's howls and moans coming from zombies instead. When there came a winter day that was clear, the air cool but no chance of snow or sleet, the dwarves took Snow White to go hunting. The zombies didn't have the sense to hide from snow blizzards or remember how to test the ice. There were tens of zombies caught in snowdrifts and several caught in a pond on the outskirts of the forest, all of them stuck and unable to move. The dwarves taught Snow White the best way to swing an axe to take the head clean off, and they spent the rest of the day chopping off heads.

Spring began, and Snow White realised that a lot of the zombies were dead. Or they'd moved on, perhaps. Either way, there were only one or two a week, not an hour or day as it had been before. She spent that day singing as she did laundry, no longer afraid that the noise would lure a zombie out. She sang a song her mother had sung to her when she was a child, about a Princess waiting for a Prince to rescue her. Her singing stopped when she heard a noise in the woods, and she turned to face it, her bow in her hands immediately.

A person wearing armour walked out of the tree line, surprisingly quiet for armour, but not decomposing or moaning. Snow White hadn't seen another human for so long that the person looked ridiculously tall compared to the dwarves. She kept her bow trained on the person; thieves were just as numerous as zombies these days. The person raised their hands and waited a moment to take off their helmet. Snow White stared at the woman for a moment. She had expected a Prince, considering the armour, but it was a stupid assumption to make.

Who are you?

The woman tried to curtsy, but failed in the armour, and bowed instead. My name is Rose, Your Majesty.

Snow White, not Your Majesty. We don't exactly have a monarchy anymore. The admittance didn't upset her as it might have once. How did you survive? How did you get here?

I worked in the castle, Your... Snow White. I... I saw the Queen try to eat you, and I got so scared I ran. I ended up locked in the armoury. Eventually, I got so hungry I had to leave, so I put on a suit of armour hoping it would protect me, and thankfully it did. It took a while to get used to walking around in it though. The noise drew out nearly every creature possible, so I had to learn how to use a sword very damn fast. I spent winter in the castle, and taught myself how to oil this damn suit so I wouldn't bring out every creature known to man.

Rose took a deep breath, looked at the stream longingly, but straightened and continued with her tale.

The food stores in the castle didn't last long since I don't know how to preserve food, so I've been living on rotting fruit for the past week. I thought there might be something edible in the forest, but all of the game has managed to avoid me. Then I heard you singing and... I thought I was dreaming or dead; I never expected you to survive, honestly.

Neither did I. And don't eat the animals, they attack the zombies, so they're probably not good to eat anyway. How much is in the stores in the castle?

Quite a lot, but I'm not sure how much is still edible.

I can work that out myself. Do you know how to get back there?

Rose nodded adamantly. Before anything could happen, the dwarves came out of the forest and surrounded her, armed and glaring.

She's not a zombie. Rose has been living in the castle. She says there's food there. We're running out ourselves, so I say we go have a look. Agreed?

They agreed reluctantly, but Grumpy refused to let Rose get out of her armour, and pushed at her legs to make her start walking. Snow White grabbed her quiver of arrows and went after them. Rose had obviously been lonely over the winter months because she spent most of the walk talking, her gaze flicking back to Snow White every so often.

Rose had failed to mention that along with food, there were still quite a lot of zombies at the castle as well. Grumpy threatened to cut her armour in half and feed her to the zombies himself. Rose ignored him. She put her helmet back on and walked into the horde, using her sword to kill as many as she could. She hadn't had the dwarves' guidance as Snow White had, and the sword was much too big for her, but at least five went down. Grumpy muttered under his breath and fired off several arrows from his crossbow, four more zombies dropping around Rose. Snow White and the dwarves all started firing arrows until there were no live zombies left. Rose stomped on one's head, and the low moans stopped completely.

The food stores were enough to last the rest of the year, and there were vegetable gardens and orchards that would survive and thrive with some love, care, and hard work. Snow White knew how to preserve food thanks to Avo's recipe books, and even the food that was past the point of ripeness could still be used. Snow White kissed Rose in thanks, who blushed bright red in response. She smiled and thought of her mother's song; it was still a pretty song, but Snow White thought that the Princess was kind of stupid for waiting around for someone when she was capable of going out to find him herself. Or find her.

They decided to move into the castle, and though Grumpy complained about drafts in the winter months, they were all happy there. Other survivors made their way to the castle, filling the empty rooms and bringing their own stories of survival and newfound skills. For their one year anniversary, Snow White presented Rose with a new sword, better suited for her height. Rose smiled shyly and led her to the old throne room, where a large mirror was sitting on the wall, newly polished and sparkling. The mirror had been a cherished family heirloom that her mother had loved, and her stepmother had as well. Now it belonged to its rightful owner once more. Snow White kissed Rose thoroughly until she blushed bright red.

Later when the night was mostly quiet, only filled with snores from dwarves and some humans alike, Snow White slipped into the throne room. She stroked a hand down the mirror's reflective surface, the glass shimmering in response.

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who is the fairest of all?

You are fairest, dearest, loveliest Snow White,
Now that the Queen's succumbed to the bite.

Snow White pulled a brick from the wall, removing a vial filled with a blood red liquid. It swirled fiercely, black wisps angry and forever hungry. Snow White threw the vial into the fireplace and watched as it burned away, light from the flickering flames causing shadows to flicker on her face. When she was younger, her mother had taught her far more than silly songs about Princesses waiting for their Prince. Snow White had only resorted to using that knowledge when pleading, begging, and outright refusing had failed all attempts to sway her father's idea at selling her off to a neighbouring kingdom in exchange for more land and more soldiers. Snow White was beautiful, but that didn't mean she wasn't smart, nor willing to sacrifice others to get what she wanted.

When the last of the flames died away, and the potion with it, Snow White returned to bed, where Rose was sleeping peacefully. Curling herself around Red, feeling her snuggle in closer, Snow White fell asleep with a smile; when she had first decided to poison her stepmother's drink, she never dreamed that her life would end up like this. It was more than she ever could have wished for.

...

The end.

Thanks for reading; I hope you liked it!