Today is my wedding day. I am neither nervous nor happy. The weight of tradition is on my shoulders.
I'm old enough to be married off to the Zhou household now that I was halfway through 12.
I have never met my soon to be husband. All I knew was his name, age, and he came from a prestigious family.
My father offered me to them as I was their only child and we were very poor. My parents recieved lots of expensive gifts from the Zhou's and hardly said a word to me during the wedding.
Although it was short it all felt overwhelming. Especially when I saw him for the first time.
I approached the table for the wedding tea ceremony clasped in my red dress and veil. I did my best to maintain a calm demeanor in spite of my hammering heart inside.
I looked up only once when I stood right next to him. Briefly taking in as much as his features as I could to judge his outward appearance.
He's fair looking but is he kind on the inside?
The ceremony lasted several hours, and I had to stand beside him the entire time. His family was now mine.
My mother did not shed a tear throughout it all she was too proud for that.
It was also because I had made a bargain with her. If I did not fall in love with my husband after being married for 6 months I could divorce him if I chose. And believe me I fully intend to.
I was not going to let an arranged marriage hold me back from acheiving my dreams.
My name was Lin Jay. Now it was Lin Zhou.
My husband's name is Mujin Zhou. He's 18 and set to inherit his father's business on his wedding day.
He was under pressure but I did not pity him at all.
After the wedding we were taken to our new house and left alone to perputually bond or seal our marriage.
But I was not going to tonight or ever. Awkward silence filled the room as we stood there in the dining room in our wedding attire.
I didn't know what to say to him or if I even wanted to talk to him. But I had no choice when he spoke.
"Lin?"
I looked up at him to see a guilty expression on his face. As if he had been hiding it the entire time.
I looked at his face to see he had a small mole on his right cheek.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry if all this is too overwhelming for you. I fully understand if you want nothing to do with me. You don't have to pretend to be my wife since were both practically strangers."
"My opinion does not matter with this. We are married and have to acknowledge it at least."
"I would not mind if you told me your honest opinion. I want us to be open to each other to some degree."
"I just want to sleep. I am drained after today's festivities. Excuse me."
I bowed slightly before I made my leave and headed down the hall to the nearest bath house. Once I shut the door behind me I heaved a heavy sigh.
"You're right Mujin. I do want nothing to do with you. But how will I put up with all this for six whole months?"
I took a deep breath to calm down and rushed to change out of my dress and slip into my night gown and robe.
I managed to remove my makeup and freshen up a bit before I headed back to try and find the bedroom.
After walking around the manor several times I found Mujin standing in the main bedroom balcony. I quietly shut the door and crawled into the bed with his back to me.
From where I laid I watched him pull something out of his robe and examined it. I could not tell what the object in his hand was but his somber expression left me bewildered.
Why did he look so sad? I did not nearly feel as somber as he and I hated this whole affair.
He stood there for quite a long time before he tucked the object back in his robe and headed towards the bed. I quickly turned around the other way under the sheets before I heard him slide into bed behind me.
He made no movements to touch me or attempts to talk to me. He just laid there a respectable distance away.
This wager was going to be easier than I thought. But six months was such a long time. Hopefully it won't be too bad.
I rested and after tossing for a while I eventually fell asleep.
~My eyes drifted open to see the morning sun pouring through the balcony doors that were wide open.
On my husband's side the bed was empty.
I looked at the clock to see it was 8am. How long ago did he wake up?
I quickly got out of bed and rushed to get dressed for the morning and make breakfast.
I actually knew how to cook. Ever since I was 6 years old. I learned how to run and clean after a household at 9.
Raising children was another story.
I tied up my hair as I walked into the kitchen and slipped on an apron.
I had started boiling the rice when I heard Mujin step into the kitchen wearing a brand new suit.
"Good morning."
He sat down at the table not seeming to have heard me.
"Mujin?"
He wasn't listening. He was too distracted by the paper in his hand.
I went back to making breakfast feeling like I shouldn't ask him what he prefered to eat.
In less than an hour everything was prepared and I expertly laid out our food across the table.
"Thank you for the food."
I looked up in surprise to hear Mujin speak. He didn't look directly at me but he was aware I was in the same room.
This all felt awkward.
I sat down across from him and started quietly eating my breakfast. A couple of minutes later Mujin set the papers down and started eating his food.
I nibbled on my breakfast nervously because nobody but my parents ate my food and they never complimented it and barely acknowledged it.
I wonder what he was thinking?
He took a couple of bites and froze with a surprised expression on his face.
"Do you like it?"
He took another bite as if he was disbelief.
"Mujin?"
"You made this? I'm startled by how delicious it is."
"I thought I put too much salt into it."
"No it tastes perfect. I'm impressed."
Mujin's expression went from cold to warm in seconds.
It surprised me.
He had the ghost of a smile on his face but at least he seemed happy. It strangely made me feel happy on the inside.