FRIDAY 9:00 PM What a downer. Of course the crap game that was going on at Joey Biltmore's garage was nothing of the excitement Sky Masterson has expected, because practically everybody in the world was broke.
Sky only stood around watching the play, and talking with other guys who were also standing around and watching, and many of these guys were very high shots during the post-WWII boom, although most of them were now as clean as a surgeon's scalpel, and maybe cleaner.
The only guy spirited enough to want the game to continue was the Chicago mobster Big Jule, wagging his thick bankroll and challenging everybody to play on credit.
At once alert, Nathan Detroit got up and demanded everybody's attention, "All right, Gentlemen, let's see some action here." And addressing the mobster, "Big Jule, your own gun for your bankroll last night." Nathan drew out the gun from his pocket and aimed it at its owner. "Have we got a bet?"
Big Jule instinctively patted his left side and suddenly remembered he didn't have his gun with him. He lost it last night when Sky Masterson knocked him down with a one-two and Angie the Ox threw a raincoat over his face. Masterson quickly divested him of it and thrown the gun to Detroit for safekeeping. Blood drained off Big Jule's face now that his own gun was pointing at him. Every guy in the room was stunned.
It was Harry the Horse who broke the silence. "Let me get this straight," addressing Nathan. "You want Big Jule to bet all his winnings from last night for his own gun?"
"Correct," Nathan said, moving forward, quickly glancing from face to face, but holding steady the gun at Big Jule. "If I win, everybody gets back what Big Jule stole from him last night. If Jule wins, he gets to keep both the money and the gun."
When Big Julie remained stunned, Nathan continued, "All right, let's sweeten the pot. Big Jule will get back his gun, win or lose. But he will lay last night's bankroll on the line. And I will have the honor of being the shooter, fair enough?"
Rusty Charlie asked, "If you win, we get all our money back, but Big Jule gets back his gun, just the same?"
"Win or lose, Big Jule gets back his gun," answered Nathan. "But the money, he's got to lay on the line. Have we got a bet?"
"Bet," Big Jule finally answered.
Sky, stunned like all the rest, wondered what Nathan was up to.
Nathan continued, "I hereby appoint Harry the Horse as the escrow who will temporarily hold the money until all markers are made good, that is, if Jule loses. Or give it all back to Jule, if he wins.
"And because Big Jule was incapable of writing his own marker, as you've witnessed last night, each of you write a marker for him to sign. Put down your name and the amount that he stole from you last night. Then get in line and make him sign all his markers with his signature X.
"Gotta have my gun back," Big Jule mumbled. Reluctantly, he handed the wad he was previously brandishing over to Harry the Horse.
Nathan continued, "And I'm appointing Sky Masterson as security." Nathan said, and threw the gun at Sky which the latter was quick to catch. "Sky will see to it that every marker is signed and Horse holds up the money for all to see."
Sky did as ordered, pointing the gun at Big Jule while keeping an eye on Horse and the money. The guys wrote out markers and got his Big Jule's X on all 40 of them.
After a long while, Nathan approached Big Jule, "I will use your own dice, Big Jule. The same dice you used on us last night. Sky will see to it we follow your own rule-of-the-gun, the rules that you imposed on us last night, fair enough?"
Sheepishly, Jule fished out the two blank dice from his pocket and handed them to Nathan.
Maintaining the tough stance, Nathan got ready to roll. He blew on the dice and shaking them, threw them bouncing on the floor and against the wall, amidst a resounding cry of "Huh!"
"Lucky us, eleven!" Nathan announced.
The crowd roared.
Nathan ordered Harry the Horse to pay off all markers while Sky continued to hold the gun, pointing at Horse, this time, and keeping an eye on Big Jule. When all markers were made good, Nathan nodded at Sky.
"Gun's empty," Sky said nonchalantly as he threw the gun over to Big Jule, "Nathan has unloaded all the bullets."
The Chicago mobster caught the gun, fell on his knees and elbows and cried like a baby. The din of the crowd got louder, but abruptly fell as Nathan once more addressed the crowd.
"Gentlemen, I will be suspending the Oldest Established Permanent Floating Crap Game for a cycle or two. We will leave you know when and where it will float again," Nathan paused. "I'm happy to tell you, it's not Brannigan. It's Adelaide."
Once again, the crowd chattered, "It's ever-lovin' Adelaide?" Then silence.
"I will marry Adelaide tomorrow afternoon at six. All of you are invited to the wedding. It will be an open-air wedding, in Times Square. Please tell everybody and your brother. And don't be late!"
In a heartbeat, the guys encircled Nathan with profuse congratulations. Sky held back, still unbelieving, when suddenly Nathan pulled him and Benny out the door. "Hurry up, guys, call a cab; I've got to propose to her."
"She's not at work. She's at home. The Hot Box was raided tonight." Sky said. "How were you able to pull this off?"
"Brannigan owes us an apology, remember?" Nathan said excitedly, "In turn he said he'll take care of the street arrangements and the getaway car for tomorrow. He'll block off all the traffic on Broadway, and have the entire force man the crowd. He also wants to give away the bride.
SKY AND BENNY STAYED IN THE TAXI as they watched Nathan ring Adelaide's doorbell. In an instant she opened the door and Nathan fell on his knees right there and then. Nathan blurted out, "Adelaide, Darling, will you marry me?"
"Nathan, Oh, Nathan, Darling!" Adelaide gushed, "Why, of course, I'll marry you, unconditionally," and with her voice rising up a decibel, "Nathan, Darling, How could I think you wouldn't!"
Sky and Benny rolled their eyes.
"My ever-loving Adelaide, you have bravely held on for 14 years. It's time we got our reward," Nathan said tenderly.
Then he stood up, held and kissed her, "Times Square, tomorrow afternoon at six. Lt. Brannigan will pick you up with the entire vice squad at 5:15. And don't be late."
"Don't worry, Nathan, Darling, I'm starting to get used to being picked up by the police," she said. "Oh, Darling, I'm so happy. Won't you come in?"
"No time, Dear, we're off to the Mission to set it up with Brother Arvide." They kissed goodbye and Nathan excitedly jumped back into the cab.
FRIDAY, 11:00 PM. Sky pushed open the Mission door and let Nathan and Benny in. They found Brother Arvide with two mission workers and Nicely having a conversation.
"Good evening. Sorry to come in this late, Uncle Arvide, but Nathan has something urgent to consult with you." Sky took off his hat, wondering where Sarah is, as the two mission workers excused themselves. "What are you doing staying up so late, Nicely?"
"I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd keep Brother Arvide company," Nicely said, "Long time no see, Benny!"
"Good to be here, watching history unfold," Benny said.
"Come in Brothers, the Mission is open at all hours, day and night," Brother Arvide said, offering them seats. "Now, what can I do for you, Brother Nathan?"
"Brother Arvide, Adelaide and I would like to get married tomorrow afternoon and we would like for you to do the honors," Nathan said.
"But of course, what an honor!" Brother Arvide exclaimed, delighted. "Where and when is the great event going to be?"
"It will be an open air nuptial on Broadway at six o'clock. The police is making the grounds arrangement." Nathan said.
"What you ought to do first thing in the morning is pick up Miss Adelaide, go to the City Clerk's Office for your marriage license and get your blood tests. Pull some strings with Brannigan, if you have to. But assured they can be done on time for the wedding. It's a very short time to prepare for a wedding but you have friends who can help."
"I'll have Sky for my best man, and Benny and Nicely as seconds," Nathan said, nodding toward Benny and Nicely, who were both smiling and nodding.
Sky replied, "I'd be so honored, Nathan, but I'm sorry, I can't. I'm taking Sarah out to early dinner tomorrow at Mindy's. Then I'm off to Havana for a citizens' convention."
"So why don't you take Sarah to the wedding and after that, take her to Havana for dinner?" suggested Arvide.
Sky, almost embarrassed, replied, "I know what you're saying, Uncle Arvide. And I've taken her there before, but that was different. That was just a bet."
"Well, how different would it be now?"
"I'm in love with your niece and I want to protect her reputation," Sky said, keeping his head down.
"Son, you wouldn't want to miss Nathan's wedding, would you?" Arvide paused, "And you wouldn't want to miss your own, either."
Nicely and Benny who have been following the conversation, were amazed that Sky did not flinch at the suggestion.
"As a matter of fact, Uncle Arvide, Nathan, Benny, Nicely," Sky addressed each thoughtfully, "I have been thinking. But two things have perplexed me. Whereas Nathan and Adelaide have been engaged for 14 years; Sarah and I have known each other only for four days, going on five. How would I know we'd be doing the right thing?"
"Why, Sky, I never knew you to be so discerning," Nathan said. "You've always been a reckless risk-taker who never seems to run out of luck."
"With Sarah, it's like I'm playing a new set of rules." Sky replied, "She even called me a chump, like I was underestimating her; in fact, she said, I made her feel like a dishonest horse race. That floored me. I guess she's a bigger risk-taker than me."
Brother Arvide changed the course of the conversation, "Sarah is staying with General Cartwright and her Sister assistants at their hotel tonight and tomorrow. They're discussing the planned expansion of the mission and some other future projects. Later in the afternoon, they'll go straight to the hospital to visit the sick."
"So, when then can I propose?" Sky was suddenly enthusiastic.
"You don't have to. You can ask for her hand in marriage right now."
"Huh? But how would I know if she'd accept my proposal?"
"My dear Son, you should have seen her last Thursday, deeply grieving silently, after you walked away. She was all broken up inside, but without tears." Brother Arvide said quietly. "She still did her duties in the Mission, but there was no way she could hide her grief."
"Sky listened intently, and after a long silence said, "I was suffering myself and scared that I might have lost her."
"After her mother, my sister, died of cancer 10 years ago, and later, after her father remarried, Sarah thought she'd give her Dad the chance to build a new life with his new wife. Sarah, just 16 then, travelled all by herself from Boston to join me here and the staff at the Mission. She has always been a brave girl. She said all she wanted was to serve the Lord. And I'd like to think she has found her home here.
"Until last Thursday. I never saw how much in love with you she was. Yet she was very stoic about your breakup. I tried to advise her, to help assuage her heartache, but she kept saying, 'I'd get over it, I'd get over it.'
"Why would anyone want to get over the one thing one hopes for from the minute one is born and remembers till the day one dies? Why, because it's the greatest reward that a man and woman can have on this earth? To love and be loved? Being her only parent left, I wish I could give her everything in this world, but I told her she'd have to find her true love on her own.
"So, Sky," Brother Arvide now smiling, said, "Marry her now; you can propose to her later, after the wedding."
"It will also save time and resources to have a double wedding instead of two separate ones," Nathan said, "I'll have then Benny as best man and you can have Nicely, considering he's already in uniform."
"We'll be delighted," said Benny and Nicely.
"Mindy's will have all day to bake two fresh, new wedding cakes - not the ones already on display at the front counter - but freshly baked ones," said Nicely.
"And we'll get the bakery van to deliver two fresh, new grooms to the wedding site," added Benny.
"Not grooms, Benny - bridegrooms!" corrected Nicely. "Grooms are for horses; bridegrooms have other chores."
"I stand corrected," said Benny," and we shouldn't even think of horses at this time."
"Brannigan also promises a getaway car, but I'm sure he can easily double the order," said Nathan, nodding to Sky.
"All right then," Sky stood up and with a slight bow to Arvide solemnly said, "Uncle Arvide, I would like to thank you for all your help and advice. I cherish Sarah with all my heart and soul and would like spend the rest of my life with her and devote myself to caring for her. I would like, therefore, to ask for her hand in marriage," he paused, "I mean, not just her hand, but her whole person; so that what God may join together, no man can put asunder."
"I give you my blessing, Son," Brother Arvide said, "No more can I wish you."
After a while, Brother Arvide continued, "Are you sure you boys have no impediments going into marriage? Or should the band announce the bans?"
"Band bans?" Benny asked.
"It's that thing that says, 'Should anyone present know of any reason that these two couples should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace'."
"With all the high rollers around?" Nicely laughed, "They'll be maimed if they tried."
The two bridegrooms-to-be laughed. "Those bans have been announcing for 14 years now," said Nathan.
"No, no impediments," said Sky plainly.
"Okay, then, get some rest and hit the ground running tomorrow," Arvide stood up to say goodnight. "Sky, do whatever you need to do tomorrow, take the blood test, get your plane tickets, whatever. And I'll have Sister Agatha pack up a small suitcase for Sarah.
"But be sure you're all dressed up and ready, and at the City Clerk Office by 4:30. I will pick Sarah up from the hospital and meet you there to apply for your license and get her blood test. Both parties have to be present to fill out the license form. Don't forget your identification card. "
SATURDAY, 4 PM. Brother Arvide has two taxicabs reserved in the hospital parking lot as he skipped into the lobby to pick up Sarah, General Cartwright, and her two Sister assistants.
"Uncle Arvide, why are you here?" Sarah greeted him, surprised.
"Good afternoon, General; good afternoon, Sisters," Arvide said gleefully. "I've got good news for you. You can't go back to Boston just yet. Sarah is getting married at 6 o'clock this afternoon.
"What!?" Sarah was astounded, but laughing, thinking her uncle was joking. The General and the two Sisters were surprised, as well, and joined Sarah laughing.
"I am not joking, Sarah." Arvide said. "Sky and Nathan dropped by at the mission last night. First, to discuss Nathan's wedding with Miss Adelaide today. After a while, we all decided we might as well economize in time and energy and make it into a double wedding. So I'm here to tell you that your dinner date at Mindy's tonight has been canceled."
"But, Uncle Arvide," Sarah said breathlessly, "Sky has never mentioned marriage. I mean, he has not proposed yet - I mean, he has not. I mean, why am I the last to know of my own wedding?" Sarah said joyfully.
"Well, he can propose all he wants, but I've given him your hand, so there. I know you'd be thrilled." Arvid said.
"What a remarkable young man!" General Cartwright exclaimed, hugging Sarah, "Who would have known the two of you were engaged! Congratulations, my dear." The two Sisters, too, hugged and kissed her, "Congratulations, Sarah. Our best wishes are with you and your beloved."
"I didn't know I had gotten engaged, either," smiled Sarah, "But I guess two hours is a long enough engagement."
"Well, then, what preparations shall we make?" asked the General.
"I suggest you could go back to your hotel or to the Mission, but be in Times Square, on Broadway in an hour. Brother Nicely and Benny Southstreet will be there to make sure you don't get crushed by the crowd." Brother Arvide said, "Meanwhile, I'm taking Sarah to city hall right now for her blood test and license with Sky."
Sarah hugged her uncle and gave him kisses on both cheeks. "Oh, Uncle Arvide, I'm so happy. I am so happy! But why do I feel like you are trying to get rid of me?"
"No, I'm not getting rid of you, Child; I'm gaining a nephew!" Brother Arvide laughed.
"That smooth gambler knew all along he'd win this roll," Sarah complained with a smile. "He didn't even give me the chance to get into a wedding dress!"
"I must say, Sarah, General Cartwright cut in. "You're a sergeant in the Save-A-Soul Army of Christ. Army officers wear their uniforms when they get married."
"I've heard of come-as-you-are parties," Sarah said beaming, "But I've never heard of a come-as-you-are wedding. I guess mine will be the first."
SATURDAY, 4:30 PM, CITY CLERK'S OFFICE. As soon as Sky saw Sarah and her uncle enter the room, he greeted them and approached her, with the license application form in hand, suppressing a mischievous smile. Sarah pursed her lips remembering where she'd seen that smile before.
Yes, of course. How could she forget? It was late Wednesday morning, at the Mission. After obtaining word that General Cartwright would stay for the prayer meeting, Sky, carried the "Thought for the Day" card with his marker for 12 genuine sinners on back of it, and cornered her with a naughty smile.
"What do you think, Sister Sarah? Do you honestly believe… that we could get married in less than two hours?" he said, showing her the application form.
"On your knees, Brother Sky," she replied with a modest giggle.
Sky formally genuflected, took off his pinky ring and said, "Sarah Brown, will you marry me?"
Sarah burst out laughing, "If the ring fits…"
"Would you like to bet? Not for money, but for my love and devotion?" he said as he slipped the ring on her finger and kissed the palm of her hand. "It fits?"
"It fits," Sarah continued laughing, holding up her hand, "It's beautiful! Lapis lazuli in solid gold?"
"See, never tangle with me when it comes to betting."
"For a couple getting married after less than a week of knowing each other..." Sarah said.
"Better than some royals of old who were engaged since they were born, but only got to meet for the first time on their wedding day." replied Sky. "Here, my darling bride, let's get working on the license."
He kissed her lightly on the nose, and they bent over the counter to fill out the application. Sky kept looking at Sarah as she signed the form and whispered, "Song of Solomon, 1:15."
"Save it for tonight, Mr. Masterson, or I'll be late for my blood test."
"All right, then, I'll wait." he said. "I've had my blood test and passed it with flying colors." He walked with her to the counter to submit the application. After obtaining the license, Sky took her back to where Brother Arvide was waiting and said, "See you at the wedding. And don't be late."
TIMES SQUARE, SATURDAY 5:30 PM. Two policemen approached Brother Arvide and Sarah's taxicab as it reached the back entrance to the closed Walgreens pharmacy. They opened the cab door and helped Brother Arvide and Sarah out and into the building. "I've never seen such a huge crowd before - throngs and throngs of people!" Sarah looked around, "It's like New Year's Eve! How did these people get to come here?"
"It's your wedding day, dear Child," replied her Uncle Arvide.
"Damon Runyon announced it in the late edition," said one of the policemen," It says, 'The Sky hits the limit; he's getting married!'"
"I'm nervous, Uncle Arvide," Sarah cried, "I've never seen such an enormous crowd before!"
"Don't be nervous, Child; just be brave and happy."
The closed storefront was full of people participating in the wedding march. Brother Arvide and Sarah acknowledged each congratulation and so much good wishes. Laverne Borg happily handed Adelaide and Sarah identical bouquets of little white roses and baby's breath, caught in looping white ribbons.
Soon Sarah took her uncle's arm and they got in line at the end of the march. At the sound of Frank Loesser's music, the wedding march started and dramatically exited the now open front doors that led to an aisle cleared of people, and across to the other side of the street.
A few steps ahead of them, in the arm of Lt. Brannigan, marched Adelaide, her cloud-like gown and short veil fluttering in the breeze, so lovely to look at, even from the back. Laverne, the maid of honor in a satin pink dress, walked ahead of Adelaide and behind two lines of perfectly matched chorus dolls in their beautiful pink and red gowns, flower hats and mink stoles. Far ahead were the gambling guys, marching two-by-two, like well-behaved overgrown boy scouts.
Sarah looked straight up front and saw with her 100 percent eyes in every respect, standing side by side just behind the podium, Sky and Nathan with Nicely and Benny on each side. She has never seen her bridegroom so debonaire, so elegant, so handsome a gambler than ever before! It was so beautiful, her wedding! Just beautiful!
First, Nathan stepped forward to receive his bride from Lt. Brannigan.
Then, as they approached the podium, Uncle Arvide released her to Sky, who came smiling, offering his arm.
As she and Sky exchanged vows, Sarah felt a rush go through her body, just waiting till the other couple finished their vows. She wanted not just one, but both of Sky's arms to hold her and to feel that at last she has come home, safe and sound.
IT WAS 6 O'CLOCK PM, SATURDAY when Brother Arvide proclaimed them men and wives. Suddenly the huge, huge throngs of people roared around them like an ocean.
Sky took Sarah into his arms and whispered, "May I kiss you now, Mrs. Masterson?"