I OWN NOTHING

I always wanted to write about a strong swordsman underdog, then I read Shuumatsu no Valkyrie/Record of Ragnarok and checked Yakuza: Like a Dragon.

-0-

"Let's see, what to write for old Mifune-sensei?" a 6-foot-tall young man asked himself. "I'm doing fine, but I could use more cash… Nah, maybe telling him I saved a princess from an icy kingdom but ran out of money could… He'd tell me to ask her. Um, a priestess in need of kindness… Hm, how to make that a good story to ask for a bigger allowance?"

Resting at a small diner in the middle of the woods, the rather unkept guy sat outside on a bench and enjoyed the sun. On his hands was a scroll, an inkbrush and his thoughts. During his scribbling, he paused by placing the brush down to grab his lunch. Beside him was a batch of rice balls freshly made by the owner of the establishment, and he grabbed one of the last two to munch away while reading his latest entry. A few costumers looked at him with quirked eyebrows, wondering why a man like him would be in such a place. Some felt slightly afraid to be near him due to the possibility of him being a hired goon.

Deep blue eyes stared at the paper while he devoured his meal with gusto. Possessing a lightly tanned and healthy complexion, a lean face and a slim body marked with dense muscle, he was oddly handsome. Six odd birthmarks resembling whiskers, three on each cheek, adorned his face. However, his wild blonde hair set in a spiky afro and the smell of soil coming off him confirmed he was a wanderer with no place to stay. Donning an orange kendo gi with thin red stripes, black hakama pants with the ankles cut off and the part below the knees tied to his legs, and no footwear made him look like a homeless drifter.

On his left hip he carried a simplistic katana held close with a green sash around his waist. The standard design of the sword came with a purple scabbard adorned with a white lace wrapped around the part next to the handguard to pull it out of the sash easier. Its hilt was completely black, its wrapping, handle, pummel, and circular handguard shared the same color. No carvings were added to the weapon, let alone any signature. Cheap swords were common among thugs and bandits, so it wouldn't be hard to say he may be one. Another reason to carry such a weapon is confidence in skill alone.

"Ahem…" a man coughed into his fist to get his attention but was ignored.

"Sorry, busy writing a good story..." the blond said once he finished his rice ball and went to grab the other. His hand only touched air, "Huh?"

"Alright, buddy, time to earn your keep," the owner of the diner told him coldly with the rice ball in hand. "You've been here for three days mooching off me and haven't moved a single muscle."

"Hey, old man, that's no way to treat a guard on their lunchbreak," the blond argued and swiftly grabbed the rice ball, intent on finishing it.

However, the owner was also fast and immediately took it back to watch the swordsman bite air, "And there hasn't been any problem so far! Seriously, had I known accepting your services would imply you eating all my food, I'd have kicked you out the instant I saw you! What good is a sword-for-hire if they don't have anyone to fight?"

"Grr, fine," the blond snarled, stealing back his meal. "I'll help with the chores once I finish this."

"No, do it now," the man exclaimed and attempted to take back the rice ball, but the blond quickly planted a foot on his chest and kept his food away by extending his arm. The owner practically saw red as he swiped at the air to grab it, but the youth was far stronger and faster, "Why you!"

"Done, hm!" the whiskered youth exclaimed after shoving the entire thing in his mouth.

"You, y-you..." the owner looked ready to kill but refrained himself from doing so. Instead, he shivered in anger and grabbed the blond by the lapels of his gi, "I've had it! Go do some proper work now, you bum! If I don't see the floors so clean that you'd let your mother drink from them, you're out!"

"Fine, I'll get to it," the ronin grumbled.

Of course, the life of a ronin wasn't glamorous but he had to pay the bills. Inside the diner one would see the barefoot man run around on all fours, his hands planted on the floor but sliding on the wooden surface. A simple cleaning cloth and his fast footwork made it easy to wipe the floor in seconds. During the cleaning, the owner returned to serving customers while ignoring the orange blur on the background.

"Hey..." the owner blinked at the sight in front of him.

"Tazuna-san, what are you doing here?" the other man asked worriedly.

His acquaintance was an old grey-haired, bespectacled man with a large beard and dark eyes donning a sleeveless shirt with an obi, pants and sandals. He also carried a towel around his neck and wore a straw hat for the occasional sunny day. Given his appearance and the way he stumbled with a red hue on his cheeks, he was drunk. Rushing to him, the owner was quick to make sure he wouldn't fall on the recently cleaned floor.

"I'm..." the bearded elder started and rubbed his tired face. "I'm so exhausted... Every day more people quit because of the threats, and no one can blame them..."

"What about that idea?" the owner asked. "You could always go and pay protection from the Leaf shinobi."

"Paying them with scraps?" the drunken man growled. "We can't afford what they're asking for this... Even if we all put our money together, we-"

"Hey," the two turned to the blond swordsman, whose job was done judging by the cloth he slung on his shoulder. "If it's a job about protection, I can get it done."

Looking at the ronin, the inebriated man groaned with a furrowed brow, "Bums can fight?"

"Do you have anything else to lose?" the blond asked, then crossed his arms with a smirk. "Just think of it, you'd get a former samurai working for you like a true one would for their master."

"Former samurai...?" Tazuna narrowed his eyes. "What? Are you telling me you quit that job?"

"Of course," the youth replied with a confident smile. "Otherwise, how can I fight strong shinobi if I have to obey the rules of a neutral country? No attachments, no reason to hold back."

Declarations like that didn't put the old man's mind at ease, "So... you're stupid enough to give up a wealthy life to get into fights."

"Come on!" the blond exclaimed, placing his face inches from the elder in a furious snarl. "Are you this rude to a guy doing you a favor?! Come on, all I ask is that you get this old fart to consider my debt repaid!"

Blinking with confusion, the spectacled man asked, "Wait, so you're not asking for money?"

Grunting, the blond pointed at the owner of the diner, "I'm asking to be set free from this slave driver! This guy's been forcing me to make this place sparkling clean during my stay here despite my good job guarding it! I've actually learnt all there is to toilets and other household chores because of him!"

"Damn right you did!" the other man snapped. "Honestly, did you expect me to keep feeding you after you nearly ate me out of business?! Also, that crap of you being a guard doesn't pay MY bills!"

"Wait a second!" Tazuna snapped at them, then looked at the blond. "You, kid... Are you strong?"

"Kid?" the whiskered youth echoed. "I'm twenty, you old fart."

"To me you're still a toddler," Tazuna retorted, waving dismissively. "Now, answer the damn question. Are you actually capable of backing up your words?"

"I was a samurai," the blond hooked a thumb to his face with a shit-eating grin. "Only one thing made me quit: being unable to fight shinobi and prove my swordplay is better than their jutsus."

"Hmph..." Tazuna looked at him sternly, seeing there was no doubt in the young man's eyes. "Your name?"

"Naruto," the blond replied.

"Fine, Naruto, you should do..." Tazuna started, then scoffed. "I can just run off while any assassin after me is busy killing you."

"Oi!" the ronin yelled.

"Are you sure, Tazuna?" the owner asked. "Why not have him take you to the Leaf? He'd be a good meat shield until you get proper help."

"Not a bad idea," the spectacled man chortled.

"Get ready to eat your words, old fart," Naruto told him with a snarl.

-0-

After their bumpy introduction, both men walked to the eldest's destination. Tazuna was honestly surprised by lack of escape attempts. During his meeting with the ronin, he expected Naruto to just run off right when the owner of the diner accepted the terms. Surprisingly, the freelance samurai even walked at the older man's pace. Chewing on a random piece of straw he found, the blond accompanied the elder patiently. He almost looked the part of a swordsman bound by duty to protect people.

"So, kid..." Tazuna started to break the silence. "Did you really quit the life of a samurai to fight shinobi?"

"How else am I supposed to meet and fight the people regarded as the strongest?" the blond retorted.

"Last I recall, samurai living at Iron Country can live pretty well once they obtain the rank," the man continued. "Just giving that up for that-"

"Oi, don't sell me short," the blond smirked at him, wiggling the piece of flora in his mouth while talking. Placing his hands on his hips, Naruto posed with his chest puffed up, "After all, protecting the weak from those who'd abuse their power for their gain is a good way to earn a name for myself. One step forward for a hero."

"Virtuous heroism isn't going to pay for your meals," Tazuna pointed out.

"Fine, what are you really doing this for, then?" the ronin asked the man.

"Nothing to concern yourself with," the elder waved him off and kept walking. "Once we arrive at the village, you can consider your debt repaid."

"Wait, you mean you don't want me as your bodyguard?!" Naruto asked offended by the man's dismissal of his skill.

"It's for the best," Tazuna told him, then sighed. "Listen… I am using you to stay safe until I can hire people who may actually protect me. Even a rookie team of ninja has a highly-ranked supervisor with them. Should I be lucky, I can even fool them to work for me and keep my hide safe from the people after me."

"Alright, who'd want you dead?" the ronin asked with a scowl. "Did you go to far too many bars and your tab's up your ass or what? Not enough love at home from the wife equaling debt to hostess clubs? What is it? At least give me that much if you-"

"Either do your job or leave," Tazuna coldly told him. "Your debt to my friend's been repaid, so you're free to go. I may as well take my chances."

"Fine, you stubborn old fool," Naruto growled and crossed his arms, placing his hands inside his sleeves. "Leaf village, right? I've actually been curious about the place."

"Really?" Tazuna asked with a questioning look. "Sticking with me even after I insulted you?"

"Didn't I tell you?" the ronin glared. "I'm with you to fight strong, evil shinobi, that's all there is to it."

"Understood, you won't talk about your past, so I won't share mine," Tazuna groaned before grabbing a bottle of cheap booze to drink from.

Upon reaching the large gates of a walled off village, the two men were greeted by uniformed soldiers. Ninja donning blue slacks and matching jackets with military green jackets on top. They also wore a headband, a staple for most shinobi with a symbol for their land. Given the leaf-shaped carving with a spiral pattern, it was easy to tell where they belonged to. However, the inspection didn't go as smoothly as expected.

"Stop, state your business and…" one of the shinobi glanced at Naruto, eyeing his face with wide-eyed awe.

Deciding to joke to break the tension, Naruto chortled, "I know I'm good-looking, but I'm into girls."

"Jackass, it's not like that!" the guard snapped, ready to go on a tirade.

His partner was more sensible, "Stop it, these two didn't cause trouble and you were staring."

"Yeah, it's not my fault being 6-foot of solidified handsome," Naruto quipped.

"Enough," the more responsible shinobi said. "Let's do this properly. Names and residence."

"Tazuna, Wave Country," the elder answered and handed them a passport.

"Naruto of Iron Country," the blond said and showed them his.

"Hm, the paperwork is solid, but…" the shinobi looked at the sword on Naruto's hip. "It says here you're a civilian despite being armed."

"It's no problem," Tazuna told them with a slight slur. "My nephew here's a blacksmith. That sword of his is his latest work and he wants to show it off in order to work here."

"You two are related?" the guard Naruto irked didn't buy it.

"Lucky me my dad was born with the good looks," Naruto followed the lie, briefly thanking Tazuna but not letting the chance to jab at him go to waste.

"Hmph, you wish you had half my good looks, boy," the elder growled and took another swig before producing an envelope from his shirt. "Anyway, we're also here to request a mission."

"Everything seems to be in order," the more polite ninja said upon reading the request. "You're free to enter, but do not do anything to disturb the peace."

"Aye-aye," Naruto said with a casual wave.

Once the pair was gone, the two ninjas looked at each other, "That guy with the sword… He's no blacksmith, is he?"

"Unfortunately, his papers didn't say so or otherwise," the other responded. "Also, he's nowhere in any wanted list. If he's a threat, he definitely doesn't attack without reason."

"I still can't believe how much he looks like…"

"Of course, I know, but it must be a coincidence."

-0-

"Don't do anything stupid while I go get a team," Tazuna told the ronin.

Crossing his arms and placing his hands inside the sleeves yet again, the blond sighed, "You don't have to nag, you know? I am looking for an actual challenge."

"Not in here," the elder growled at him. "I took responsibility for you pretending to be your uncle. Don't make me regret it, especially since I need the help and we depart early tomorrow."

"Fine, you made your point known plenty of times before," the whiskered man growled. "I'll wait for you at the entrance. Don't take too long."

"What?" gasping, the bespectacled elder looked at the youth in surprise.

"I am still employed by you until you're safe, old man," Naruto reminded him. "Besides, chances are if those shinobi get pissed at you, there'd be no one to face any dangerous ninja after you."

"Fair p-point…" Tazuna conceded, awed by the fact the young ronin would stand by his side. However, he saw it as selfishness, "Guess you really want a fight…"

Once the two parted ways, the ronin could only smirk and look at the sights of the large village and the faces carved on a mountain, "So, that's you, dad… Heh, I can see the resemblance, but I'm the best looking."

Roaming around the streets, he didn't pick a destination and decided to take in the sights and avoid anything that could involve money seeing how broke he was.

Until a boy, barely fifteen years old, in dirty clothes bumped into him, "Out of my way, dumbass!"

Grunting, Naruto turned to the rude villager, "How about an apology? I'm not the one running like a bull in a china store. Also, give me back my wallet."

"What're you-" the thief started to growl after being caught red-handed, but the blond easily grabbed him by the wrist before he could hide the stolen item.

"Do I look that dumb?" the blond snapped, retrieving his wallet before lecturing the thief. "Also, how shitty a pickpocket can you be? Can't you see I'm broke?"

"You are?" the criminal gaped in shock.

"Look, not a single bit of cash," Naruto snarled and opened the wallet, showing he was indeed penniless.

"Shit, I can't believe you're somehow doing worse than me…" the thief mused to himself, holding his chin with one hand in thought.

"You tell me," Naruto sighed. "Like, what part of me makes you think I'd have a single coin worth taking?"

"Um, well, you have that sword," the villager pointed at the blade.

"Oboro?" Naruto hooked a thumb toward his sheathed sword. "This baby's a decent katana, but even if you took it no sane person would pay much for it. Hell, no samurai wants to touch or even see her."

"It's a freaking katana!" the boy argued.

"Yeah, and I got her for free because she's cursed," the blond stated. "I mean it, no man who's ever held her actually wanted to get rid of this greedy bitch of a sword."

"Shit…" the boy stepped back. "If a guy like you is that unlucky and still here… I guess I've got no excuse to find a job, then. I mean, you're still here, alive. Cursed sword and all."

"That's the spirit!" Naruto cheered, pointing at the boy with a bright grin. "Why even pickpocket? You could nail an actual job if you put as much effort into stealing from me. If it was anyone else, I'm sure you could have taken their wallet and even a kidney."

"Wow, you mean it?" the thief felt embarrassed but happy at the praise, chuckling a bit.

"Of course," Naruto beamed and nodded; arms crossed. "Who knows? Polish that kind of technique anywhere and you could go places. Even chefs aren't that good with their fingers."

"You know, I wanted to be a cook, but then I had to drop that dream to take care of my sick mother…"

"Maybe if you cooked for others as you would for her, you'd be a great chef in no time," the ronin offered.

"Yeah… yeah! I like that! Thanks, pal! I really owe you one!"

"If you make it big, make sure to get me a meal for free," Naruto told him.

"I will!" the boy exclaimed with a large grin and pumped up a fist. "I'll get started by cooking my mother a delicious meal!"

Grinning proudly, Naruto nodded at the retreating teen, "That's how a man gets started in life… Heh, maybe I'm wiser than old fart Mifune gave me credit for."

-0-

Reaching a park, the blond considered using one of the benches for a quick nap. If anyone attempted to steal his sword, they'd be quite unlucky. Sawing logs already in his head, the ronin sat down and pondered how to arrange himself on the hard bench. First, lying flat on his back, a failure given the sun. Then, the fetal position, perfect once he found the right spot to nestle his head on his arm like a pillow. At last, he slept…

Five seconds later, a child shook him up, "Hey, what do you think you're doing?"

Picturing what trouble he'd be in should he argue with a kid, the blond sat up and didn't even stretch, "Sheesh, I just found the right spot… What is it, squirt?"

"Who are you calling squirt, mister?" asked an adorable girl.

Brown hair reached below her shoulders, revealing a pale face with a unique pair of eyes. Lavender orbs stared at him with a cute pout, but they lacked pupils. For a moment he thought she was blind, but upon closer inspection he could tell her eyes tracked his movements. Looking at her, the girl wasn't someone in need of special care. Garbs like her elegant yellow kimono were not cheap. If he had to guess, she was fourteen.

"Sorry, but I think I'm still older than you," he smirked lazily and ruffled his unruly hair. "Also, did you need to ruin my nap?"

"You're not the owner of the bench," she glared like an adorable kitten, failing completely at fazing him.

"Listen, how about you-" Naruto's line was cut off when he waved at her.

Raising his hand was enough to gather attention, "Stay away from Hanabi-sama!"

"Oh come on!" Naruto exclaimed, immediately hopping off the bench when two blades nearly cut him in two.

Everyone watched in awe when the colorful hobo leapt up into the air over the straight swords of his enemies. Ninjato carrying shinobi glared at him when he landed right behind them, two of them. The men weren't going to let him go easy, the blond knew that much after they nearly sliced him in half. Upon landing, Naruto leaned back and planted his back on the first attacker's back, keeping himself glued and following his body with every shift. The other was about to attack but doubted his own precision when his partner was in the way, fighting to get the homeless swordsman off.

"Damn you!" the two growled.

"You started it!" Naruto snapped. "Listen, I want no trouble, alright?!"

"Lies!" they snapped.

"Stop!" the girl – Hanabi by the sound of it – shouted.

But the two men found an opening, the one playing a bizarre game of tag with Naruto leant back while letting his partner tackle him. Due to the shift, Naruto landed face-first on the floor, leaving the two men a larger opening to attempt to apprehend him. However, just as their swords came down, something stupid happened when Naruto rolled around. As in something so ridiculous it couldn't be anything but a fool's idea. Both men were shocked a good five seconds, staring in awe at what the blond had done to stop their attacks: grab the blades of their swords with his toes!

Grunting, Naruto glared from his downed position while clenching the steel hard between the fingers of his feet, "You two are lucky I don't like making a girl cry…"

Rolling backwards, the blond nailed the swords on the floor and stood on them due to his sheer clenching power alone! Both men froze stiff at the sight of such bizarre control and strength. No one dared say a word. It was Naruto who moved first by grunting, getting off the blades and picking them up. Grumbling under his breath, he handed them to the two men. After an uncomfortable pause, they accepted their weapons back. During all that, Hanabi could only look and gape in awe until the blond finally left, still grumbling to himself about losing a good napping.

"What just happened?" the first guard asked his partner.

"I'm not even sure, but, uh, he really must be a non-threat if he returned us our swords," the other pointed out.

"Um, Hanabi-sama," the first started, kneeling in front of her. "Sorry for being so unprofessional and unprepared. Please, let us take you back to your father to inform him about this incident."

"Yes," she hastily said. "Before that, could we get my sister a present? Hinata's already a genin and an adult, so I want something nice for her."

Finally, at a good distance, Naruto decided to complain, "Ugh, I hope I didn't get too much attention. Although I could've really used that bench to sleep if that escort mission's happening tomorrow. Crap, and I didn't ask the old fart where he'd be staying tonight… or asked him to let me sleep with him."

Slumping his head in defeat, the ronin tried to think of a way to either sleep or get enough cash for a place to crash.

-0-

"Food, bed, roof…" Naruto grinned to himself as the sun slowly settled down and he leaned his back against a tree. "All are material desires and I do not need them! Ahahahaha!"

"Mom, that man's acting weird."

"Keep walking, honey, and don't point at the crazy hobo."

Grunting and letting his head rest against the bark, the blond shut his eyes tightly, "I don't need them, I don't… I don't…"

Rumbling from his stomach begged to differ, and it attracted someone's attention, "Hello, can I ask you for a favor?"

Looking up, Naruto gave off a goofy smile he couldn't contain. Blushing with an almost unnervingly wide smile, he looked at the one before him. One thing he found odd were the red triangular marks on her face, one under each slit-pupiled eye, but it didn't stop him. Brown hair set in a ponytail, a round but mature face, sharp eyes, and a body built with muscle yet lean and feminine got his attention. Under her clothes he could see she possessed womanly curves, plump breasts, and a meaty caboose. All around an athletic if stoic beauty.

"Yes, I'm single and available," he beamed, holding his chin with his most charming face.

"I was going to ask to move yourself from that tree," she said and motioned to three large dogs behind her. "They tend to use it."

"Use it…?" Naruto started, then bolted up straight with a yelp. "Ah, damn it! Don't tell me I've got-"

"You're clean," she cut him off with her eyes closed. "Also lucky. The tree's still clean."

"Oh thank goodness," he sighed in relief, slumping his head with a deep breath. With a sheepish smile, he composed himself and looked at her, "Alright, I get that I didn't look cool at all, but…"

"Not interested," she flatly told him.

"Sheesh, at least let me down easy!" he exclaimed.

"Forgive me, but I'm in no mood or position to consider dating," she told him stoically. "You're not the picture of an ideal partner either."

"Beating around the bush is out of the question with you, then," he declared with a weak chuckle, then put on a smile. "Then again, you haven't seen me do anything cool. I bet you I could awe you if given the chance. Not now, of course, it's too early and I've got work to do. What about next time I come to this village?"

Looking him up and down, the young woman could tell he was handsome and fit, but she was blunt, "You do look like a possible consideration for a mate physically. Other than that, everything that just happened… It leaves a lot to be desired on all other aspects."

"Goodness gracious alive, do you have to leave me feeling emasculated?!" he exclaimed, taking a step back from such brutal honesty.

"I am open to give the benefit of the doubt, though," she stated. "I'm Hana Inuzuka. And you?"

"Naruto of Iron Country," he answered with a shaky smile. "You've got one weird way to greet someone, Hana-chan."

"Please, refer to me using my family name and a better honorific," she told him dully.

"Whatever you say, Hana-chan!" he beamed, clasping his hands in glee.

Closing her eyes again, the brunette pulled out a handful of bills and handed them to him, "Here, for your laundry and a little extra as compensation…"

"Compensation for what?" he asked.

"I actually lied to you," she admitted and looked away. "Truth is, I pictured you as a deranged homeless man given your rambling earlier. After talking, I'd feel bad for not coming clean."

"Wait…" Naruto turned and grimaced upon seeing the stains on the bark. "Oh come on!"

"There's a laundry station nearby," Hana told him without showing much remorse. He had been dumb enough to not check if the tree was dirty, but he didn't deserve such misfortune, "It gives discounts to people who want to use the hot-springs next to it. You can bathe and wash your clothes at the same time."

Moments later, Naruto grumbled in a pair of black and orange striped boxers after placing his dirty clothes in the machine, then took a bucket to the hot spring. There he felt some worries melt while washing off dirt, salt from his dried off sweat and dust. For a moment, he relaxed, feeling at ease, and letting it all melt. Quite a couple of people didn't overlook the young man when he entered the place and bathed. On his body was quite a sight which made some of the more hardened men step back while the blond submerged on the hot water. Placing his towel on his head once he could finally sink in, he ignored them.

"Quite a bod you got there, buddy," chortled a woman.

Naruto's eyes snapped wide open and he sat up straight, composing himself and trying to think of the perfect pickup line, "Oh, I-"

"So, what are you?" she asked, letting him see the goods without a care.

Purple hair was tied up in a spiky ponytail, allowing everyone to see an impish round face with dark brown eyes and a wide smirk. Everything about her face screamed sadism. No inch of her smirk conveyed kindness, mercy or even sympathy. A man would be stupid aplenty to not notice that. In the case of Naruto, he was too drawn by her figure to care. Melons buoyed on the water, just edging on the surface, and hinting at the tip of her malleable mounds. Seated shamelessly, she opened her legs and he gulped when realizing the carpet matched the curtains.

Coughing into his fist, the blond put on a charming smile, "I'm a man who travels the world looking for the meaning of his life…"

"That your best pickup line?!" she guffawed, almost tearing up from the sudden burst of laughter she forced herself to swallow. "I came here looking for the guy who's been causing a ruckus, hoping to see a badass at the bathhouse, and you really had to use that cheesiness to try to woo me?!"

"What's with you Leaf ladies and not giving me a break or a chance?" he sighed and leaned back, resting his elbows on the edge of the spring. "So… What's that part about you looking for me?"

"Like you wouldn't know?" she told him, leaning forward, and making her tits sway in the water, parting to entice him. "I've been watching you and noticed you not only have good skills from catching a pickpocket the shinobi here had trouble with, but also pushing back two elite bodyguards trained here. You're not a regular blacksmith or just a colorfully dressed guy."

Naruto's mind was trying to follow, but his mind was busy attempting to picture how her boobs would look once out of the water, "Rosy? Maybe brown… Inverted, perhaps… Or could they be puffy…"

"Hah!" she snorted, then stood up to reveal her naked form to him, smirking as she walked off. "It seems you're not getting it here."

Despite his best attempts, Naruto could only stare at the curve of her hips and the roundness of her rear, "I get it… There's a good god out there, and mixed hot-springs are a divine creation."

"Please drop the idiot act," she told him just when two shadowy figures leapt at him out of the steam.

Immediately, everything changed. Bursting out of the water with a geyser, Naruto landed behind two men in the Leaf shinobi uniforms with their ninjato swords drawn. Naruto landed on a crouched position with his towel swiftly placed around his waist. Everyone in the hot spring got a good look at his back. Several of the customers stood up, getting into practiced battle stances. While some were women, Naruto got serious.

"My luck with ladies can't be this bad," halfway serious, but still serious.

"Look, we're here to ask questions about that ink on your back," the purple-haired woman told him.

True to her words, on the blond man's back was an intricate tattoo. It was a red dragonfish, a depiction of the folklore tale of a carp swimming upstream towards a mythical gate in order to become a dragon. Naruto's was such a fish in the middle of transforming. Its head was that of an eastern dragon with spiked fins instead of arms and one on its back. Those who got a look at the detail felt the power behind the ink. No amateur had done the job. They knew whoever placed such a symbol on the man's skin had seen greatness in him.

"I'm no yakuza if that's what you're asking, lady," he said and smiled softly, chuckling as he stood straight up with a hand on his towel.

"Believe me, I want that to be a lie," she told him with a smirk. "I enjoy getting the truth out of scum the hard way."

"Unlucky you, I'm a full-fledged civilian through and through," the whiskered man told her, rubbing his chin with his free hand. "Of course, you won't trust me. So… What can I do to convince you?"

"Attack!" the woman yelled.

Clouds of smoke erupted around the naked men and women and soon every person in the hot spring was fully clothed and rushed at him. Although the outfit his new acquaintance wore would've made not made much of a difference from going nude. Donning an opened khaki trench coat with a fishnet shirt, an orange miniskirt and a headband didn't make it hard to picture how she looked undressed. Naruto's thoughts about how there was some eroticism to half-nudity came to a halt. Every ninja drew out a weapon and had no intention of going easy on a possible yakuza.

Knowing that, Naruto grabbed his towel firmly and gave a tired sigh, "Fine, the truth, then."

Dashing forward, he flung his towel around and ran forward. In the blink of an eye, everyone had stopped their charge while the blond ran around and past them. Swinging the piece of cloth like a whip, he seemingly made random attacks while the shinobi felt the weight of their weapons leave their hands. Much to their shock, the blond was swatting their weapons out of their hands with a towel! Each lash made kunai fly off and soon he was met with the two swordsmen from before. Both men had a much better grip than the others and flanked Naruto on both sides.

"Wha…" so it was a surprise when the blond suddenly disappeared!

"Hi," he said, instantly appearing in front of the purple haired woman who put him in danger. "So, what do you think?"

Behind him, the two men watched their blades snap in half. Steel had been broken by a random piece of cloth the blond used like a makeshift weapon. Everyone immediately understood what the ronin was capable of. Most importantly, the one in charge of the operation got the full picture. Looking at him, she whistled in amusement while he slung the towel on his shoulder.

She did glimpse down with a salacious smile before turning her gaze on his with an impish grin, "Huh, so you're not all talk. Iron Country… So, a samurai walks here like a civilian?"

"Former samurai?" the blond corrected her. "Name's Naruto, and I don't want trouble."

"Don't lie," she said with an amused smirk before patting his six-pack abs. "If you wanted the civilian life, you'd not train to be this good-looking."

"I have to eat somehow," he stated with a sheepish grin.

"Fine, you're no threat to the village, then," she stated.

"What are you talking about?!" one of the shinobi fumed. "Anko, that guy is-"

"Listen, if he was he could've killed all of you with that towel or his bare hands if he so wanted," the woman, finally identified as Anko, told her peers. "Any enemy of ours would've run off, tried to kill us or even killed themselves if they had any information. Not only did he hold back, he isn't even fighting us."

"He also didn't try to talk or ask to see any authority," another ninja said.

"True, but we wouldn't have listened to him and just gone for answers straight away through good, old-fashioned interrogation," Anko reminded them with a wider smirk. Looking at Naruto, she snickered, "Shame you didn't fight back more. It would've been a blast getting the answers out of a real samurai."

"Ronin, but thank you," he replied with a smile. "Maybe you could get more in a date."

Every single shinobi in the room besides Anko gaped like a fish, "Is he for real? Can he be that stupid?"

"Dude, that's Anko Mitsarashi," a man told him. "Last guy who went out is a broken shell of his former self."

"Serves him right for double-timing me!" Anko snarled.

"I agree she's crazy," the naked blond stated while rubbing his chin in thought. "Still, she's pretty hot. I'm alright with it."

"Eh…" she started, then waved her hand. "I mean, you're not that bad looking and even have nice equipment between your legs, but the goofy act doesn't do it for me."

Naruto took a step back, looking at her in disbelief, "Sheesh, why does every woman in this village have to turn me down in a way that hurts my ego?"

"Maybe it's the happy-go-lucky face?" Anko guessed, she truly tried to guess the reason. "We girls like men who are cool without trying, also a bit of a bad guy but with a heart of gold."

"Gee, thanks for the difficulty," he growled and walked out.

-0-

Roaming the village during nighttime wasn't so bad for the drifting ronin. Being used to bad living conditions after leaving Iron Country, he made his living through hard work, determination and luck. Meaning he was looking for an empty spot like a regular hobo. He knew the village could have a homeless shelter, but he was a samurai at heart. Using such services felt like mooching, and the young man wanted to improve himself. That being said, he was also looking for Tazuna to get a roof to sleep under, so he could also be called a hypocrite.

"Back home, back home soon…" he heard the familiar slur, and smiled upon turning a corner.

"Old man, I've been looking for you!" he cheered and approached the elder who was walking forward with a bottle in hand. However, he noted the wobbling of his legs, "Hey, are you okay?"

"Never better…" Tazuna smiled with a beet red face… and slumped against a wall when turning made him too dizzy. "Oops! Hey, you… Um, sword boy… Yeah, I, uh, got good news…"

While slurring, Naruto could tell the man was forcing the joy, "Let's get you a seat, Gramps."

"Oh, right, I've got to get Inari something!" the man hiccuped at the end of his sentence, a silly grin plastered on his face. "I… I… ugh, I'm no good with presents… What do you kids like…?"

"Lean on me, old-timer," Naruto grabbed the man's arm, placing it over his shoulders and swiftly patted him down. Seconds later, he got a key with a label and a number, "Okay, this is your motel room. Let's get your old creaking hips there."

"Very much thankful…" Tazuna slurred happily, leaning on the ronin. "You know… I kinda like ya, boy… You stuck with a bastard like me through our journey… Heh… Even seem like a nice kid… But… I… I wasn't nice, or honest… Those Leaf shinobi, they are smart, too smart… Barely a second and… and…"

"They turned down your application, right?" he stated more than asked.

"Yup!" Tazuna giggled, but his laughter turned into sobbing. "I-I really wanted… any help… I can't go back now… Or I'll be… I'll b-"

"Drinking makes you stupid?" Naruto asked offended. "You've got me. Guaranteed to keep your wrinkly hide safe from anything and anyone. Stop with the tears and get ready for tomorrow."

"Naru… Naruto…" Tazuna felt sober for a moment, the young man's words stunning him. "Urp!"

Or it could be he was about to puke, "Oh no, not on me! Not on me!"

Quickly, Naruto jumped away and let the man drop to his knees, blowing chunks on the streets. Grimacing, the blond could only hold his face and sigh. It would be a long job, he could tell. Thus, he left Tazuna to sleep off his inebriation in his motel room. Choosing to not be subtle, the blond held the application Tazuna carried on him with a big, red stamp. On the other hand, he had the man's money. It didn't take him long to find a little opposition upon reaching the enormous tower where the Hokage lived, smiling at them.

"State your business," said the guards, getting into stances.

"I'd like to talk to your leader," Naruto said and held up the application. "I'd like to talk to him about this request for an escort."

"Do you plant to resubmit this mission with proper compensation?" one of the men asked in shock, then laughed as he pointed at the whiskered swordsman. "With what money?"

"None," Naruto smirked and walked up to the man, standing up on his face. It made the guard stand back, feeling the danger that the blond represented while the whiskered swordsman merely grinned innocently, "I am taking care of it. I just wanted to let you know that. After all, someone has to show what they're made of by not chickening out."

"What?!" the two men snarled, ready to fight.

"Just saying, pretty cowardly to outright reject a mission to protect someone," Naruto continued and gave them a sly smirk.

"He didn't have the money, so he should be grateful we didn't blacklist him for what he tried to pull!" one of the guards snapped.

"Leaving a man to his luck, abandoning him to die alone, because he couldn't pay up for it sounds beyond scummy," Naruto pressed on, not once losing his cool. "It just shows what kind of people you are, too greedy and afraid to even consider letting him pay his debt over time. Lucky for the old man, I'm willing to fight ninja as crooked as that."

"Cocky asshole, aren't you?" one of the men started, ready to attack…

"Enough!"

Turning to the source of the voice, all three men saw a small elder walk to them. Holding a cane in one hand and a pipe on the other, he looked almost frail. However, the white and red robes, the matching hat with a symbol indicating his status, and the wisdom in his eyes said it all. Despite his wrinkled face, gray hair and goatee, and small stature, the two shinobi with Naruto kneeled before him. The ronin stood up, though.

"Hokage-sama!" the guards saluted him with high respect, but the elder had his attention on the blond.

"Young man, what do you even gain from this?" he asked before lighting up his pipe with a match. "A drifting samurai like you must have a good reason for this confrontation."

"Isn't it obvious?" Naruto rhetorically asked while hooking a thumb to himself. "I get to be a hero!"

Everyone but the old man gaped at the answer, the elder's eyes taking in the boy's features, "Explain…"

Giving a large grin, Naruto placed his hands on his hips, "Evil people roam around the world, and they're usually strong, terrifyingly so. It's up to a hero to fight them off, to protect those who get bullied by bad guys. Samurai have to protect their land and people but are usually ignored and shinobi like you are highly favored. So, I'll just have to be the strongest hero around by fighting any evil shinobi."

"So, it's all just to return glory to samurai?" the Hokage asked calmly, throwing away the match once his pipe was ignited.

"Nope, I just like the idea of becoming the strongest hero ever!" the blond exclaimed. "You know, being a hero is the coolest thing ever. Doing the right thing because you choose to, helping others like it's no trouble, stopping bad things from happening. Villains just take from others and put the weak down to feel good for their own greedy whims… So, I want to fight them, too."

"Quite a childlike notion," the elder stated while taking a drag from his pipe. Chortling, he looked at the ronin with a bow of his head, "One I can respect. Very well, young man, you possess every right to take a mission we turned down. Criticizing us is also a right you are given in this country. Meaning, you can go."

"Heh, glad to know you're not the jerk I was picturing you as, old man," the blond smirked.

"One doesn't get to my age without learning when someone's talking big or not," the bearded man replied and blew a smoke ring.

"But Hokage-sama, this man-" one of the guards started, but his leader cut him off.

"Is a civilian, not someone you are allowed to fight just because of an argument," the robed man said dryly. Turning around, he passed by the ronin with a soft smile, "Take care… Naruto."

"Huh?" the blond gasped in surprise, but the elder was gone. Chuckling to himself, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "I guess if someone had to know me it'd be him."

Deciding not to dwell on it, the blond returned to the motel for a good night's sleep.

-TBC-

And that's my rap!

Pretty long for a prologue, huh? I didn't even get to show what Naruto can do in a fight or what his skills are.

Don't worry, though, after the Wave Arc there will be fully original stories here.

Regarding a few things, here's a heads up:

1. Naruto's 20 to make the Seinen aspect of this story more, well, Seinen than Shounen. Seinen is defined by pretty hardcore and ridiculous over-the-top manliness with an adult usually as the main lead. Several involve pretty adult themes with some depicting explicit scenes of violence and nudity. Think Hokuto no Ken, Kengan Ashura or Record of Ragnarok. All of them focus on super manly men fighting insane odds.

2. The rest of the first original batch of genin teams are 18, with Gai's team being 19 themselves. Their parents are also aged up, but that's like just 2 years more over their Shippuden ages, so not much of a difference. However, other already adult characters like Kakashi and Anko have their pre-Shippuden age. Other than that, Konohamaru, his friends, and, as you've seen, Hanabi are also aged up slightly.

3. If you've got suggestions and ideas of where Naruto could go as a freelance samurai trained by Mifune himself barely starting his legend, feel free to share them. Don't feel left out if I don't pick yours, since choosing too many will inevitably either divert me from my original path or end up as a mess. Thanks in advance for any suggestions and constructive criticism.

4. Oboro is only slightly cursed… You'll see next chapter what I mean.

Swordslinger out!