Author's Note: I wrote this back in 2016 or 2017... then forgot about it. Found it on my computer not too long ago. Way, way late to the party... but I like it well enough to share it anyway. Not slash!
Making Leaving Easier
Gibbs steeled himself when he heard Tony's footsteps approaching the basement steps. He hadn't been looking forward to it, although he knew he'd have been disappointed if Tony hadn't shown up. He busied himself with putting tools away, not quite ready to look his former second in the eye.
Tony paused on the last step, making Gibbs glance over at him. The younger man was looking around as though he were committing the place to memory. His wandering gaze finally rested on Gibbs; his shoulders straightened, and he took the last few steps bringing him near his former boss. He leaned back on the workbench, arms loosely folded over his chest, and shot Gibbs a smile with no warmth in it.
"So… I'm a dad. Guess that made leaving easier."
Gibbs forced himself to relax his jaw muscles. "Guess so."
Tony let his head drop back slightly. He studied the ceiling for a moment, then shook his head. "Wanna tell me why you were pushing me out?"
"The hell, DiNozzo?"
Tony turned to face him, arms dropping to his side. He studied Gibbs' face seriously, taking his time. Gibbs returned the gaze, his expression impassive as always, not matching his churning gut.
Tony finally smiled. "Nice try, Gibbs." His head tilted to one side. "I think you owe me an explanation."
"How about letting me know exactly what you're talking about?"
Tony rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine. I let you get shot. I was sent after your would-be killer. I killed your would-be killer. I came back. You treated me like dirt, not like your SFA… and certainly not like your friend. I decided months ago that I wasn't staying much longer, and I might have waited to leave until after we had this little talk. But then along came Tali. So now, before I go, I'd like to know why you decided to trash rule five. 'Cause I know for a fact that I'm still the same agent I was back when you respected me. Or was, until Tali came along."
Gibbs shook his head. "You didn't let me get shot, Tony. That was Budd's fault. He messed with Luke's head."
"I should have had your six. You blame me, and I get it. I blame me. But I thought we had enough of a history to get past it. So - is that all it was, or is there more I don't get?"
Tony stared stonily at Gibbs. Gibbs stared back.
Eventually Tony shook his head, a small smile on his lips. "Okay, then." He held out his hand; Gibbs automatically reached out to clasp it. The handshake was brief; Tony pulled away. "Watch your six, Jethro, since I won't be there to do it for you."
Tony was halfway up the stairs before Gibbs said quietly, "You weren't there."
Tony froze, then turned and came back down the stairs. Returning to where he'd been standing a moment before, he said, "Come again?"
Gibbs felt all the tension drain out of his body; he steadied himself against the workbench, then turned and grabbed two jars and the bottle of bourbon off the shelf. He poured bourbon into each jar, handing one to Tony. He downed his drink in a single swallow and set the jar back down.
Tony sipped his drink, watching Gibbs.
Gibbs turned and hoisted himself up onto the workbench, resting his elbows on his legs, letting his hands hang loosely. "Before I went into surgery," he said, "I asked for you. You weren't there."
Tony blinked. "Vance called. Sent me after Budd." His brow furrowed. "You know I'd have stayed if I could."
Gibbs nodded. "Yeah. Ducky explained it all to me later."
"So… I still don't get it."
Gibbs reached up, rubbing his hand over his face. "I was messed up, Tony. Still am, I guess. Getting shot by Luke… kids being terrorists… everything was all wrong. You weren't there… also wrong." He raised his head, looking at the boat. "Rehab sucked. Damn panic attacks… first time in my life, Tony, I felt old. Like I couldn't do the job anymore. Thought about retirement, realized I didn't know what I was without the job. Wasn't ready to face it… felt like I was letting all of you down."
"And alienating me was supposed to make it better?"
"No… I don't know. I think… I think somehow Luke and you got all twisted together in my head. I couldn't separate the good from the bad."
Tony stared at him for a long time. "Can't say I really understand it… but I kinda see why it makes sense. To you, anyway."
Gibbs nodded, then looked at him. "Been selfish, Tony. Kept you with me long past the time you should have had your own team. Was angry with myself for that, too."
"Which made it all that much worse."
"Yeah." Gibbs glanced at the bottle of bourbon, but decided against it. "Should've just talked to you. Couldn't."
"Next best thing was to get me to decide to leave."
Gibbs shrugged.
Tony stared at him, then raised his hand and head-slapped the man. Hard.
Gibbs reached up and rubbed his head. "Ow." He shot Tony a small smile. "I guess I deserved that."
"Yeah."
They fell silent for a while. Eventually, Gibbs asked, "Where ya headed with Tali?"
Tony cocked his head, thinking. "Israel first. Want to get some things straight in my own head. Then we'll see… maybe Paris. Ziva liked Paris." He looked at Gibbs thoughtfully. "Have a favor to ask."
"Yeah?"
Tony reached into his back pocket, pulling out some folded sheets of paper. "If something happens to me… I'd like you to be Tali's guardian."
Gibbs stared at him. "Tony… after the way I've treated you?"
Tony made a rude noise. "What does that have to do with anything? Seriously, Jethro, who the hell else would I trust with her? Senior? Please."
"What about her relatives in Israel?"
Tony shook his head. "No way. Not letting anyone send her down the same path they sent Ziva."
"Tony, I –"
"Look, Jethro, you are the one person I know who would move heaven and earth to protect a child. I trust you with my daughter more than I'd trust anyone else." He paused, then smiled softly. "I get it," he said quietly, "after losing Kelly, the idea of having another little girl in your life, it's not easy. But my little girl deserves the best, and you're it." He cocked his head, grinning at Gibbs. "You do realize I intend to do everything in my power to stay alive, right?"
Gibbs shot him a look. "You'd better, DiNozzo. That little girl needs you." He held out his hand.
Tony gave him the papers. "Had my lawyer draw them up. He consulted with lawyers in Israel. Orli's signing off too. Whole thing's iron-clad. Filing the paperwork before I leave the States, and faxing it to her before I set foot on Israeli soil." He watched Gibbs flip through the sheets. "Just needs your signature."
Gibbs stared at the paper, then held out a hand. "Pen."
Tony grinned and pulled a pen from his pocket. Gibbs signed his name, then handed it all back to Tony.
"Thanks, Jethro."
Gibbs leaned back and looked at him thoughtfully. "What were you gonna do if you'd left earlier… if I hadn't said anything?"
Tony grinned. "Give them to Ducky and have him guilt you into signing."
Gibbs smiled. "Atta boy." The smile faded as he looked at Tony. "Gonna miss my Saint Bernard."
Tony shook his head. "You don't have to." He held out his hand. "Phone."
Gibbs hesitated, then pulled his phone from his pocket and gave it to him.
Tony began hitting buttons. "This is my new number. I'm putting it on speed dial 9… you need 1 for work stuff." He handed the phone back. "You're family now, Gibbs. You've got to have Tali's six. Means you have to get to know her. You don't have to miss me… all you have to do is call."
Gibbs put the phone down on the bench, and shifted off it onto his feet. Tony cleared his throat. "Guess I should go. Abby's with Tali, but she said she has a thing, so –"
Gibbs pulled Tony into a hug. "Gonna break another rule, Tony. I'm sorry. I never should have let things get so bad between us."
Tony returned the hug fiercely. They stood there for a moment, all those years of work and friendship wrapped up between them.
They backed away from each other. Tony cleared his throat again, heading for the stairs; Gibbs watched him leave.
Tony was in his car, starting it up, when his phone rang. He answered it without looking, thinking it was Abby. "Hey."
"Hey."
"Gibbs?"
"What happened to Jethro?"
"Nothing, I mean, why –"
"I've got a lot of leave built up. Let me know when you've settled somewhere for a while; I'll come visit."
Tony grinned. "You got it, Jethro."
"Take care of yourself, Tony." The phone clicked off.
Tony smiled the whole way back to Abby's place.
Back in the basement, Gibbs started sanding the boat, trying to remember what little French he'd learned over the years.
The End