A/N: This is my busy season at work, but while I've been editing new chapters of "In the Beginning," which I will be posting soon, I have been watching my favorite Heartland episodes: season 7, episodes 13 and 14. And this idea came to me. I'll warn you that this is a pretty long piece. Right now it's only one chapter but I could probably be persuaded to add another later if there is interest.
As Jack launched out of the truck, and took Lisa's phone from her hands, her eyes searched his, wondering what he was doing. Was he finally going to make a move? Was he finally going to cross the bridge that had long stood between them? "Just hear me out." Jack started, "Maybe it is enough..."
"What is?" Lisa asked, perplexed. She could hear her heart beating. She could barely dare to hope that he was finally making his move, after all this time.
"Earlier you said that loving each other wasn't enough, but you're wrong." Jack paused, his eyes searching hers, before continuing, "It is enough, Lis. I still love you, and I think you still love me. We just need to figure out how our lives fit together. And I don't know how that's gonna work. Only that I want it to. And I hope you do too. So, will you please just...stay." Jack's eyes had held her gaze for his whole speech. He didn't dare to look away. He willed her to see just how deeply he loved her.
Lisa let out a breath that she didn't realize she had been holding. The noise sounded frustrated to her ears, or resigned maybe. She'd been waiting for Jack to make a move for what seemed like years, and now that he had, she felt a bit at sixes and sevens. Was she really going to change all of her plans for him again? When he'd proposed all those years ago, she'd been so excited to marry him, then that had fallen through. Then he'd promised to come to France, and she'd been so happy that he was finally sharing his life with her. Then he'd found that song Lyndy had written, and he'd changed his mind about coming to France with her, and again Lisa's confidence in his commitment had faltered.
She'd finally left him after the debacle that ensued when he finally did follow her to France. Only to miss him so passionately that she'd written him a letter all but begging him for another chance. And then his heart attack had happened, and she'd dropped everything and gone to be with him. Her heart had soared when he'd asked her to go to Arizona with him and yet again she'd let herself believe that they had a future. And then that damned final fight happened, and Jack had pulled the rug out from under her feet again. And yet after all that she'd come back to Hudson to finalize the sale of Fairfield in hopes that she would see Jack and that he'd what? Bare his heart to her as he'd finally done? As Lisa stood there, she wondered if that was enough for her to uproot her whole life once again for this man she loved so dearly, but who had disappointed her hopes on more than one occasion.
Lisa stood there in the road, her eyes searching his, knowing that he was waiting for an answer, and she realized that she didn't know if it was enough anymore. This time ironically she was the one that didn't have an answer for, where do we go from here?
She opened her mouth to reply, found herself closing her mouth, her hands raising in defeat, and she turned, tearing her eyes from his. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say to that," she admitted.
Jack stood there silent, his eyes pleading with her. He could think of a million things she could say to that. And he knew what he wanted her to say.
Lisa gathered her thoughts for a moment as the silence stretched between them, her back turned to him. She turned around again abruptly. She took a deep breath, her voice shook when she spoke, "I have waited so long to hear you say that you still love me. That you see a future for us."
"But?" Jack ventured, his expression pained.
Lisa's expression matched his own, her expression pained. She blew out a breath, and forged ahead, "I need to think about it." She paused, "You were right about one thing." Her voice broke, "I do still love you. I never stopped, but, Jack, I can't just change my whole life for you again on a whim. I can't just throw away all my plans. Only to have you break my heart again. Jack, I don't want to make a decision I am going to regret."
He nodded, understanding her reasoning, his eyes still boring into hers. "I can see that." He said slowly. "But you will think about it?"
"I will," she said, her voice grave.
"And you won't make any decisions until we get back to town?"
Her eyes softened, and a half smile graced her lips, "No, I won't make any decisions until we're back to town. And I promise you'll be the first to know."
He nodded, relieved.
"May I have my phone back now?" She asked.
Jack chuckled lightly and handed her phone back to her, as their hands met he said, "No hasty decisions, you promise?"
She chuckled back, and said, "I promise," her fingers still wrapped around his hand. Her grip endeavored to show him she was serious. "Now how about taking me home?"
"Sure," he said, smiling at her. He remembered a time many years ago, when she'd been abandoned at Heartland and had asked him to drive her home in his truck. He had been so happy that day, secure in the knowledge that her relationship with Dan Hartfield was well and truly over, and that he had not misread her interest in him or her character. Today, his heart was burdened. He had laid his cards out on the table, but he still didn't know where they stood and now the ball was in her court.
Lisa and Jack took their respective seats in the truck. Silence filled the cab as they drove back to Hudson. Both too lost in their own thoughts to make conversation.
When they pulled into Fairfield, Jack turned to look at Lisa, "So," he started, "you'll let me know when you know?"
She smiled at him, taking pity on the nervousness she saw in his eyes, and nodded, "You'll be the first to know. Maybe by later tonight? I'll come by when I know for certain, if that's alright with you."
"It's alright with me," Jack said, nodding.
Her eyes searched his, "Well then," she said, and turned to get out of the truck.
As she came around the side of the truck, she saw Amy and Ty standing there, waiting to take Jack back to Heartland in their truck and trailer.
Lisa put on a brave face, setting her feelings for Jack aside, and smiled at them, "Thank you so much for coming to our rescue today!" Lisa pulled Amy into a tight hug.
"We're just glad you're okay." Ty said, as Jack joined them.
"Well, just know how very much I appreciate you both," Lisa said, clapping Ty on the shoulder before pulling him into a hug.
"I guess we'd better get you home," Amy said, turning to Jack and pulling him into a side hug.
Jack nodded, as Amy and Ty headed to the truck, he turned back to Lisa.
She too had stopped and turned to look at him.
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug, "Bye," she said, her eyes bright with pain.
"So long," he corrected, echoing an unhappy conversation from their not too distant past. His eyes held her gaze.
She nodded, swallowed, and turned, walking quickly away from him.
He turned and walked to the truck. "Let's go," he said to Amy and Ty once he was situated. Ty and Amy glanced at each other. Their eyes met in the rear view mirror. The confusion evident in their eyes clearly stated that it was never easy to tell what was going on with those two.
When Amy, Ty and Jack arrived back at Heartland, Ty left to get cleaned up before his date with Amy that night and Amy and Jack headed into the ranch house.
When they walked in, they ran into Tim, Jade and Georgie. Jack brushed off Tim's attempts at needling into his private affairs, begging off to take a shower. Tim had also struck out when he'd asked Amy how things stood with Jack and Lisa. Amy had told him that his guess was as good as hers, and headed off to change for her date.
Knowing Jack as he did, Tim knew he'd have to tread lightly, if he wanted to get any information out of him. So he made a pot of coffee, and sat at the kitchen table pretending to read the newspaper while he waited for Jack.
Jack came out of his bedroom, after changing into some clean clothes, and smelled the alluring aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Assuming that Amy had taken pity on him again, Jack headed toward the kitchen and made a beeline toward the coffee pot. He sighed when he caught sight of Tim. Of course, he thought to himself, rolling his eyes internally.
Tim grinned affably, "I made you a pot of coffee."
Jack nodded and grabbed a mug, turning his back to Tim, "I see that."
"So how about telling me that story?" Tim started, Jack stood there, back turned to Tim, willing the tension out of his shoulders, why did Tim always have that effect on him? "You know now that you've had a shower." Tim said by way of clarification.
Jack counted to three before turning around, coffee in hand. Trying to get his annoyance in check. He looked at Tim, Tim smiled at him winningly. Jack sighed, it was clear that he wasn't going to get out of this that easily.
"We ran out of gas and got stuck in the woods." Jack said, leaning against the counter, "What's there to tell?"
"Oh, come on, Jack," Tim said, "You and your ex-girlfriend get stuck in the woods overnight and you say there's nothing to tell?"
Jack sighed again, shrugging his shoulders, "We set up camp, made the best of a bad situation, and waited for Amy and Ty to come help us get Cinders to safety."
"And that's it?" Tim said, incredulous. "I can't imagine Lisa being much for camping."
Jack chuckled a bit, "I'll grant it's not her favorite thing, but she did real well."
Tim heard the approbation in Jack's voice and the way his usually gruff timbre softened. He had found a weak spot. He knew he was right that Jack still had feelings for Lisa. "So you two were just alone in the woods overnight and you had nothing to talk about?"
Jack shook his head, his eyes bugging out emphatically. Hoping to put Tim off the scent and to get him off of his back.
"I find that hard to believe," Tim said. "I spoke to you, I spoke to Lisa, and I got the impression that Lisa had a lot of things she wanted to say to you."
"We didn't get around to much talking…." Jack started. Tim grinned wickedly and elbowed Jack conspiratorially. "Nothing like that." Jack added hastily.
"Pity," Tim said. "So, you missed your chance? Just sat there stubbornly and let it all slip away."
"I didn't let anything slip away," Jack said angrily, rising to the bait. "She got an offer on Fairfield."
"Already?" Tim asked.
Jack nodded sadly.
"So, that's it? She's moving to France? You're just letting her go?" Tim asked.
"I don't know," Jack said honestly.
"What do you mean you don't know?" Tim asked.
Jack paused, wondering how much he should tell Tim, well, here goes nothing, he thought as he forged ahead, "I told her how I feel."
Tim furrowed his brow, "And how do you feel?" At Jack's incredulous stare, Tim continued, "You're not exactly an open book."
Jack conceded the point, and his voice got low and quiet, "I told her I don't want her to sell. That I want her to stay."
"And only that?" Tim probed.
Jack sighed, "I told her that I love her." He looked miserable as he said the words aloud and relived the memory.
Tim broke out in a huge smile. "There you go!" Tim said, clapping him on the shoulder, "What'd she say?"
Jack swallowed, "That she'd have to think about it."
"You told her you love her and she said she'd have to think about it?" Tim asked, incredulous.
Jack nodded.
"I don't think you did it right." Tim deadpanned.
Jack shot him a withering glance, "I think I know how to tell a woman I love her!" Then as memories of the many times when he had tried and failed to adequately express his feelings to Lisa, his ire deflated, "At least I think I do." He conceded.
Silence stretched out between them, filling the kitchen. Neither one quite sure what to say.
"Well," Tim said, "When's she planning on giving you an answer?"
"Tonight," Jack said.
"Tonight?" Tim repeated.
Jack nodded.
"Jade! Georgie!" Tim called loudly.
The girls grunted to let Tim know that they'd heard him.
"Come here!" He called.
They came into the kitchen, confused.
"Girls, go get your stuff! We're going into town for some pizza and a movie! Then we'll have a sleep over at Big River, how does that sound?"
"We had pizza last night." Georgie said, confused. Jade nodded.
"Well then we'll go to Maggie's!" Tim said brightly, "Now go get your stuff!"
The girls shrugged then headed off to pack their things.
"What'd you do that for?" Jack asked Tim. "And what is Jade doing here anyway?"
"That's a story for another day," Tim said, echoing Jack's sentiments from earlier, "And I'm trying to give you and Lisa some privacy." Tim said, elbowing Jack. "Amy and Ty will be out celebrating his birthday tonight, since you messed up their date yesterday. So you and Lisa will have the place all to yourselves."
Jack looked worried, his voice broke, letting Tim have a glance at his inner turmoil, "What if she decides to leave me?"
"Well, then you'll have a few hours to practice being a lonely, miserable, old man." Tim said with a laugh. Noticing the pained expression on Jack's face, Tim changed tactics, "Jack, you have nothing to worry about. Lisa loves you."
"I worry that too much water's gone under that bridge," Jack said.
Tim looked at Jack, "Lisa came back to Hudson to see you. To see if there's one last chance. Anyone can see it. She's not going to disappoint you."
"I just need to not disappoint her," Jack agreed.
Tim nodded and clapped Jack on the shoulder, he headed out of the room, but turned to give Jack one last piece of advice, "Just make sure she knows how much you love her. Before it's too late."
Jack sat on the porch of the ranch house, holding a cup of coffee in his hands. Amy and Ty were out on a date and Tim had taken the girls into town as planned. With Lou, Peter and Katie away on Lou's book tour, he had the whole house to himself. He'd taken special pains with his appearance, knowing that Lisa was likely to make an appearance that evening. He was nervous, knowing that when she arrived, she would either make him the happiest man in Hudson or crush his dreams of a life with her forever.
As he saw Lisa's grey Porsche coming down the driveway, he put his mug down, and stood, crossing over to the yard to greet her. He couldn't stand to be parted from her for one second longer. His measured coolness from their earlier meetings had evaporated.
She smiled at him as she got out of her truck, "Hi," she said, her glance was measured, and Jack found he was having trouble reading her.
"Hi," he responded, his voice hoarse both with emotion and lack of use.
She nodded, and he could tell she was nervous, "So, I thought I'd come by and tell you that, uh, I'm keeping Cinders, and, ah," she turned to look at him, taking a deep breath. It unnerved him to see her so unsure of herself, "I took Fairfield off the market." She paused, clearly waiting for a reaction from him, but his heart was in his throat, and he was immobilized by relief. "For now," she added. The fear of rejection shining in her eyes.
Finally coming to, he doffed his hat, and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. She laughed as he kissed her, relief washing over her. And she kissed him back with a fervor. They had been apart far too long. And despite their lengthy separation their bodies still knew what to do instinctively. They had the ease of a couple who had been kissing each other for years. Hands fell into place, heads tilted naturally. It felt like coming home.
When they broke apart, and Lisa pulled back, love shining in her eyes, Jack looked at her with all the love that he felt in his heart. "You won't regret it," he said. Making her a promise, he dearly meant to keep. He was not about to let her slip through his fingers again.
She beamed up at him with that thousand watt smile that he'd fallen in love with all those years ago. Her eyes sparkling up at him. He hadn't seen that smile on her face in far too long. And he hadn't felt this happy since the last time he'd held her properly in his arms.
They walked toward the ranch house, both laughing with relief and joy over their long-awaited reconciliation. Jack had his hand on her shoulder, and Lisa turned to look back at him, casting a radiant smile at him. He put his other hand on her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. How she had missed the feel of his hands on her shoulders, forming a connection between their bodies. He dropped one hand from her shoulder, as they climbed the stairs to the ranch house. His other hand still on her shoulder, guiding her, turning her toward him. Their bodies worked in tandem as if no time at all had elapsed.
"I have been waiting for this for days," he said, beaming down at her.
"For what?" She asked, as she stopped and turned to look up at him.
"For this ease to be back between us," he said, as he took a step toward her, and held her in his arms, cupping her face in his hand.
She smiled, knowing what he meant, "Relieved?" she asked with a chuckle.
He chuckled back, shaking his head, "Very." He said as he pulled her into a tight hug.
She relaxed into the hug, relishing the smell of him. "The past few days have been torturous. Wanting to run into your arms, but trying to keep my distance."
Jack smiled, kissing her hair, and knowing exactly how she felt, "Sleeping next to you and not being able to pull you into my arms." She pulled back, smiling up at him. He continued, "Even still, it was probably the best sleep I've had in months. Knowing you were there beside me."
She settled back into the hug, breathing in his scent, relishing his closeness. "I've missed this!" She said, pulling back and taking him by the shoulders.
"I've missed you," he said, and she leaned up and kissed him. He deepened the kiss, losing himself in the sensation of holding her against him again.
They pulled apart, beaming at each other. "I hope you can forgive me for being such an idiot," Jack said, taking her hand and bringing it up to his lips.
Lisa laughed, "I suppose you were a bit of an idiot."
"You weren't supposed to agree with me," Jack said laughing, playfully shoving his shoulder into hers.
"Well, I calls 'em like I sees 'em," she said, putting on a silly voice, and laughing along with him. Both of them giddy.
He smiled down at her, and took a hold of her face in his hand, "I do love you, Lisa."
"And I love you," she said. "I never stopped."
He kissed her passionately, pulling her tightly against him, "I've been miserable without you." He confided as they broke apart.
She smiled, slightly sadly, "That's good, because I've been miserable without you. I missed you so much." And she reached up and pulled him down for another kiss.
"I'm sorry I caused us so much pain," Jack said, "thank you for giving me another chance."
"I guess that's why I came back to Hudson," Lisa acknowledged, "I just had to know if there was still a chance that you still loved me."
"I never stopped loving you, Lis." Jack said, "I don't think I can."
She beamed, "That's a good thing, because I'm pretty well hooked on you, Cowboy."
At hearing her old nickname for him on her lips, Jack grinned and pulled her in for another kiss. When they broke apart Lisa looked around chuckling. Jack looked at her quizzically. So she answered his tacit query.
"Not that I'm complaining," she said, "but I can't believe we've been standing here 'fooling around' on the front porch in broad daylight and no one has interrupted us."
Jack laughed at her description of their 'fooling around.' He remembered when she had asked him if they were too old for such behavior. Well, they weren't then and they certainly weren't now. "That's because we're alone." He said, chuckling.
Her eyes sparkled at him, "Alone at Heartland? Is that even possible?" She joked.
"It's a rare occurrence, I'll grant you. Amy and Ty are celebrating his birthday, and Tim took Jade and Georgie out to dinner and a movie. He thought we might enjoy a little privacy." Jack said, his voice dropping.
"Oh," Lisa said, "well, that was uncharacteristically thoughtful of him," Jack laughed. "For once I am happy for his interference," she smiled up at Jack. "Now who is this Jade? Did you adopt another child while I was in France?"
Jack chuckled, remembering how Georgie had come into his life, when Lisa was still away in France, but he sobered when he remembered how it had hurt her that he had considered adopting a child without telling her. He shook his head to clear it, he would do better to include her in his future decisions. To show her how important her opinions were to him. How much he longed for her to be a permanent fixture in his life. He smiled, "No, nothing like that, she's Dr. Virani's daughter."
"Dr. Virani?" Lisa asked, she really had missed a lot.
"My doctor," Jack explained, "my old doctor retired and Tricia moved to town after a messy divorce and took his place."
Lisa looked at him, eyebrows raised. As if reading her mind, Jack assuaged her fears, "She's seeing Tim."
"Oh," Lisa said, feeling relieved, but knowing that she'd have no right to be jealous even if something had happened between this doctor and Jack.
"There's been no one but you," Jack said, "although the good doctor did once call me virile," he added with a chuckle.
Lisa smiled, "Virile, huh? Well, I'd have to agree with her there." Laughing and playfully bumping him with her hip as she had done all those years ago at the barbeque where they met.
He looked long and deep into her eyes, "Lisa, uh, it's been, you know, awhile, since…" he started, not quite knowing how to continue, "and then with my…"
"Heart attack?" she offered.
"Yeah that," he continued, "well, I'd very much like to invite you inside and show you just how much I've missed you," his voice was low and cracking with emotion, "but I don't want you to think less of me if I'm...out of practice…"
She smiled warmly, reaching up to stroke his face, "Well, if you're out of practice, then I'm out of practice," she said, her eyes searching his, willing him to understand her meaning.
"You mean?" he asked, surprise evident in his voice, he assumed she'd found someone when she was in France, she was so very beautiful and had always been interested in setting up matches as she had with Lou and Peter. He had just assumed she'd have gone on some dates, if for no other reason than to attempt to get over him. And there had been that whole ordeal with the online dating app that Mallory had signed him up for.
"Jack," she said, the tone in her voice reminding him of the time that she had patiently explained that Dan Hartfield was her ex-husband, capital E, capital X, "I was such a mess over you that it would have been unfair even to go out for coffee with someone else."
His worries assuaged, he smiled down at her, "What a pair we are. I'm sorry I caused us both such grief." His voice was low and heavy with emotion.
She smiled up at him and rubbed the back of her hand over his stubble. Pulling him lightly in the direction of the front door.
"Have I ever told you about the time Mallory made me a dating profile?" Jack asked, half-heartedly resisting her attempts to drag him toward the house. Now that it had come into his head the thought of that dating profile was niggling at him.
She shook her head no.
"Well, you were my perfect match," he said, looking down at her before turning to walk her into the house, placing a hand on the small of her back to guide her.
"What?" Lisa asked, incredulous, turning back toward him, as her laughter rung out. She leaned against him as her laughter abated, "My sister made me a dating profile," she explained. "To help me get over you, when we were first apart, before your heart attack."
"That's when this was," Jack said.
"She did it without my permission and then when the matches came in, she absolutely refused to let me see it. And now I know why." She dissolved into laughter again.
Jack joined her, leaning against her as he laughed, "Mallory did the same thing. Made me a profile without my consent then refused to let me see the match. When Tim finally handed me her tablet and I saw you smiling back at me, well, I admit I was heartbroken, because I'd thought you moved on."
She smiled, sadly, "I would have been miserable if I'd seen you there. I'd have thought the same thing. Not realizing that Mallory or Tim had put you up to it."
He smiled at her, "It never even occurred to me that someone might have done the same thing to you." Jack said.
"What a pair we are!" Lisa said softly, echoing his words from earlier.
Jack put his hands on her hips and pulled her towards him, "So, what do you say we go inside and talk this over properly?" Jack asked.
"That sounds really good to me," Lisa replied. Turning to head toward the house. "As long as there's not actually too much talking going on," she turned to grin at him wickedly.
Jack grinned back, before turning mock serious. "But be forewarned," He said, looking down at her, as they headed inside, his hand on her shoulder, "I don't intend to let you out of my sight for the foreseeable future."
"You'll have a hard time getting rid of me now, Jack Bartlett." She said, as they headed inside. His coffee long forgotten on the porch.