Title: Haze
Summary: When Sakura attempts Suicide, it's up to her friends to be there for her in the future. InoSaku. Some Past NaruSaku/SasuSaku Content. Will include content such as Self-harm, Suicidal Thoughts and Actions, Eating Disorders, Sexual Assault, Trauma, and possible drinking, though no certainties. Everybody has issues going on in this. Takes Place After Chapter 699.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters.
…
Kakashi was a man who could be one of the most relaxed sometimes, but also one of the most serious when he needed to be. However, nothing could have possibly prepared him for the night medical ninja stepped in his office with news that threatened to turn part of his world upside down.
"Lord Sixth, we have bad news. It's about Sakura Haruno!" They announced, with concerned eyes.
"What's going on?" Kakashi asked, immediately alert.
"Her mother just brought her in with numerous lacerations on her wrists! We believe she tried to, um, kill herself, sir! She keeps slipping in and out of consciousness, and we're having trouble stabilizing her." One of them explained.
"We've had somebody else head out to called in Lady Fifth, but we thought you would want to know as well, since she was... your student..." The other added, obviously nervous.
Kakashi was having trouble processing the the news that was delivered to him, but once again forced himself to respond.
"I see. Thank you for letting me know. I'll be there shortly. You're both dismissed." He said.
"Sir." They responded and left.
Kakashi stood there for a moment, trying his best to steady his breathing and clear the fog in his mind, flashbacks of finding his father in a pile of his own blood and a gaping stab wound in his abdomen coming back full force and haunting him.
"Kakashi-sensei… Sometimes, I… Sometimes, I don't feel right. Like kind of depressed."
"Sakura, we just came out of a war, people died. It's no wonder-"
"No, you don't understand, everything feels wrong ! I can't take it anymore..."
"Again, what you're going through is completely normal. Just try to relax and take however much time you need."
"Y...Yeah, sorry, you're probably right… Haha, I shouldn't have bothered you about something so trivial. Just ignore me."
Kakashi felt a bit a of nausea rise in his stomach as he recalled a talk they had just a few weeks ago. The signs had been right in front of him, but he'd push them to the side, because he hadn't taken it seriously. How could he have just-? He had to hurry.
…
"Sakura… Oh god, no." Tsunade could hardly process the sight before her after she was called in by medics, but none the less, she approached Sakura's side where she was laying on the gurney, taking Sakura's hand in hers, and immediately starting to heal the wounds on her arms..
"Shis...shou…?" Sakura spoke weakly, tears welling up in her eyes as if she was ashamed. "'m... sorry, I-"
"No, don't apologize… We're going to fix this. Okay? Everything's going to be alright." Tsunade gave a small smile, wiping away her student's tears.
Sakura didn't say anything, but did look away.
Tsunade was barely able to keep her composure. Her skin was so pale, and littered with too many scars to count. Why hadn't she healed them?
"What's with the long sleeves, Sakura? You changed your whole look. I kind of like it."
"Yeah, well, short sleeves are nice, but I sort of thought it would be nice for a change, you know? It's actually more comfortable this way."
The realization dawned on her at that moment. It had been right there before her and she hadn't suspected a thing.
"I'm sorry, my daughter is always causing so much trouble for me." Tsunade looked up when she heard Mibuki's voice. "I don't even know what goes through her head half the time. She's such a handful."
At that moment, Kakashi walked in hear the discussion.
"I didn't do this to hurt you…" Sakura responded weakly.
"Well, you sure as hell achieved it, didn't you?!" Mibuki suddenly snapped back, stepping towards her, causing Sakura to flinch and look away. "Thanks to your actions, every person in here is having to deal with your drama when they could be tending to people who actually matter!"
"Oh boy…" Kakashi thought. Family arguments were the last thing he wanted to get involved in, but this… This was just impossible for him to ignore.
"Everything you do anymore is an attempt to punish me!" Mibuki shouted. "Whether it be losing all of our savings, or not listening to simple instructions, or… or this …!"
"Get out…" Tsunade muttered, not about to stand around and tolerate listening to Sakura being talked to like that, least of all by a woman who claimed to be her mother.
"Is the only person you care about yourself, Sakura?" Mibuki ignored her.
"I said leave!" Tsunade shouted, startling everybody in the room.
"Ma'm, I'm going to have to ask that you step out of the room." Kakashi decided to intervene before things got any further out of hand. Mibuki glanced between them, as if she wanted to say something more, but thankfully decided to comply, leaving the room. Sakura's father was no where to be seen.
"I didn't want to hurt anybody- I wanted- I just wanted it to stop..." more tears spilled from Sakura's eyes.
"I know," Tsunade squeezed Sakura's hand in a comforting manner. "You're okay, Sakura, she's not here anymore, so just try to relax, okay? Everything's alright…"
"Lady Fifth is right, Sakura." Kakashi offered in a small voice. "We're going to get through this. You just have to trust us."
Although the old scars were still there, all of Sakura's fresh injuries were healed now as if they never existed. Sakura was unable to keep her eyes open after that, her vision beginning to blur, her eyelids feeling far too heavy. It wasn't long before she let darkness consume her.
"She needs a blood transfusion, now. We can't waste any time!" Tsunade demanded, looking up at the near by nurses, who immediately responded and started to take action. She wasn't about to lose her. She couldn't. Not here. Not like this. You can't die on me . Just hang in there. Just a little longer. Please.
Kakashi was under a similar line of thought, only slightly more composed than Tsunade. Seeing his student lying in the stretcher, with scars covering her wrists, her skin pale, bags under her eyes, he felt a gut wrenching guilt for not having payed closer attention. He hadn't taken her seriously before and now this had happened.
He should have asked why. He should have tried to probe further, to really talk and listen to her. She had went to him because she trusted him, but he had just brushed her off.. And now she'd tried to kill herself. The gravity of the situation… It was just too much for him to process.
Tsunade reached up, gently brushing some of the teen's hair out of her face. Her lips tightened, but her eyes softened. The last time she'd seen her, Sakura had seemed absolutely fine! What could have possibly happened to have changed that? Or had she been depressed like this all along since the war?
If there was one thing she'd learned in her time training Sakura, it was that she rarely ever opened up to others about her own insecurities and struggles. Even so, she was supposed to be practically the best medic ninja out there. She should have recognized the signs without even a second glance. She should have seen such a thing happening before it happened and prevented it.
She swallowed.
"Kakashi, do you mind staying with her for a few minutes? I won't be long, I just need to fill out some paperwork." Tsunade said. Sakura would no doubt have to be on suicide watch after this. There wasn't any guarantee of how much it would really do for her, but it was protocol.
"Of course. Take your time." Kakashi nodded, before taking a seat next to Sakura and looking at her unconscious form with a saddened expression.
What had been on her mind when she had come to him for help that day? What had pushed her to this…?
The questions nagged at him, tearing him to pieces, gnawing at his conscience, eating away at his very existence.
He should have asked.
He should have asked.
Why did he just let her walk away?
He wanted to tell her sorry.
He wanted to embrace her, to tell her everything would be okay, apologize for not having been a better teacher to her.
He hated it. But, as it was, the only thing he could do was wait for her to wake back up.
"Thanks for watching over her, Kakashi…" Tsunade said as she finally returned to the hospital room Sakura was in. The nurses were gone and there was an IV attached to her arm, as well as several other cords, one of which was providing to her blood. Much to her relief, some of the color appeared to be returning to her skin.
"Don't mention it…" Kakashi dismissed it. "Is her mother still here…?"
"No, I think she left…" Tsunade sighed. "And she doesn't know how lucky she is that did , because if she hadn't , I don't know what I would have done. What kind of mother talks to their daughter that way? And right after she tried to commit suicide , no less!"
Tsunade was beside herself, and Kakashi could see it. In truth, he felt the same, but was simply better at staying calm than her.
"I can't begin to imagine why some parents think treating their children like that is acceptable… I've met her a few times now, but I had no clue that she was like that..." Kakashi murmured.
"…I've put her on Suicide watch. I can only hope that she'll comply with the doctors in the case that one of us aren't around and not endanger herself any further… But, given why she's here, she's more than likely to try again..." Tsunade said, sitting next to Sakura on the stretcher. It wasn't something she wanted to imagine, but, at this point, it was unwise to not count it as a potential risk.
"Right…" Kakashi mused.
"…Did she say anything to you before this…?" Tsunade asked, glancing to the side, trying to keep her eyes off the scars on Sakura's arms.
Kakashi knew there was no point in lying. If he did, it would just come back to haunt him later on.
"Well, a few weeks ago, she did seemed bothered by something, but she never specified what and I guess I didn't take it seriously enough. I'm realizing now just how much of a mistake that was… I really should have pressed the matter further." Kakashi said, horrible guilt radiating from his entire being.
"Don't, you can't blame yourself for this, Kakashi… Everybody reacts to these kind of situations differently." Tsunade pointed out, obviously frustrated. "The signs can be right in front of you, and you don't even think twice about it until after it's too late. If anybody should be held responsible, it's me… Aren't doctors supposed to save people…? I didn't notice a thing until I was called here..."
Kakashi wanted to tell her not to blame herself as well, that Sakura wouldn't want them too, but in the end, he merely let out a sigh. "This is definitely going to be stressful for all of us to get through… I'm just glad she didn't succeed…"
"Yeah..." Tsunade said in a low voice.
It was easy to say that, but they both knew that if she'd been found any later that wouldn't have been the case, and that was a truly terrifying thought.
"I'm kind of worried how Naruto's going to react when he finds out... " Kakashi said, with a solemn look. He knew of Naruto's feelings for Sakura and how much he cared about her. He didn't know if his romantic feelings still remained, but he would no doubt be devastated at hearing that she tried to take her own life.
"There's no doubt he'll be upset by this… but Naruto has been around Sakura longer than most of us… Knowing him, he'll probably come up here every single day to make sure she's okay… He might even refuse to leave her bedside." Tsunade pointed out, with a small smile.
"Well, that certainly does sound like him… Nobody in this world could beat him in persistence..." Kakashi admitted. "And Sakura thinks a great deal of Naruto, if there's anybody that she would listen to, he's one of them."
"Any word from Sasuke as of late…?" Tsunade asked.
"No I haven't seen or heard from him in months…" Kakashi said. "But I should probably send out a message for him tomorrow to stop by if he gets the chance..."
Although he wasn't mad at Sasuke per say, he wished that he would make an effort to come back and visit more. He understood that Sasuke felt massive guilt for the things he'd done and that by taking time away from the village, he was trying to find some peace with himself, but he failed to realize that he pushing everybody away again, trying to carry the burden by himself, the same thing he'd always done. It wasn't something he could have had to do alone, and Sakura needed all the support she could get right now.
"...I'm sure she's missed him…" Tsunade murmured.
At that moment, Ino suddenly popped into her head. Come to think of it, they'd been spending quite a bit of time together as of late. Not to mention they were childhood friends and Ino had known Sakura the longest… She didn't know all the details of their past, but from what she heard, Ino had inspired Sakura, and saved her from bullies when she was in the academy. Maybe she would but that would have to wait until tomorrow as well. Maybe Sakura would be awake then...
"Are you going to stay with her tonight…? Or should I …?" Kakashi asked.
"You're the Hokage now, Kakashi. You need your rest. So it's probably best if I do it…" Tsunade told him.
Kakashi didn't disagree. "Well, I can't argue with that… You are probably more qualified to deal with this than I am anyways…"
He of course meant that in more ways than one.
Tsunade shook her head. "Now don't go counting yourself too short, Kakashi…"
"I'll try, but I can't make any promises." Kakashi sighed as he stood up. "Well, I guess I'll take my leave now. I'm assuming it's gonna be a little while before she wakes back up... Call for me if something comes up..."
"Understood..."
…
A/N: Alright, I hope you all like this so far. Mibuki in this story is kinda based off my mom, so I'm kinda projecting? Cuz she basically did the exact same thing to me.