Elizabeth stood on her porch and stared off into the starless sky after Lucas had walked off. She was in a state of shock and wasn't ready to go back inside the house just yet. Lucas Bouchard had just broken up with her. Elizabeth couldn't believe it. Her emotions ranged from angry to sad to relieved. She thought about what Lucas had said and realized she was angry because he had hurt her ego by breaking up with her. Elizabeth was normally the one who liked to be in control of things and Lucas had just taken that control from her, just like he usually did.
As she stood there reflecting, she realized that Lucas had always been the one in control of their relationship. He was the type who liked to make things happen and he had tried really hard to make their relationship and a potential courtship happen. But something or someone kept holding Elizabeth back from fully committing herself to him.
She was also sad mostly because she considered Lucas to be a good friend and she did not want to lose him in that aspect. Lucas was an integral part of Hope Valley and he had been instrumental in getting Elizabeth's novel published. As she had told him a year ago in the street, she would forever be grateful to him for that. Elizabeth was also relieved. As she continued to reflect about her actions, she realized that she and Lucas would never have worked long term.
They may have had similar upbringings and shared interests but there just wasn't anything deeper there. And they were in very different places in their lives. Elizabeth was a widowed mom of a toddler and she was also a schoolteacher. Lucas was a successful entrepreneur and owned the saloon and the oil company. Elizabeth realized she didn't even know what other businesses Lucas might be involved with because they never discussed anything personal.
"What have I done?" Elizabeth wondered out loud.
Although Lucas was a great guy, he was not the right guy for her and never would be. She had started officially dating Lucas right after Nathan had told her he was in love with her. She now realized that she was dating Lucas to avoid dealing with the fact that she was also in love with Nathan. Even Lucas said as much when he spoke to her earlier. Elizabeth was realizing just how much her actions must have hurt both men over the past few months. Lucas because it must have seemed like she was using him to avoid Nathan and Nathan because he had opened himself up to her and she responded to his declaration by avoiding him like the plague. She had not even discussed his feelings with Nathan because she was so busy avoiding him. Elizabeth was now crying.
She finally went inside and locked up and then went upstairs to get ready for bed. She brought her journal to bed with her so she could write before going to sleep. Before she opened the journal, Elizabeth held up her left hand and looked at the beautiful rings Jack had given her. She slowly twisted them off her finger one at a time expecting to feel the emotions from them. Instead, she felt an overwhelming peace come over her and a desire to see Nathan as quickly as possible. Elizabeth kissed the rings and placed them in the small box inside her bedside table. She would save them for Little Jack. With that, she finally opened the journal and began to write.
It has taken me a long time to put my thoughts into words, many months in fact. But Lucas said some things to me tonight that finally made me realize the consequences of my recent actions. I've been very fortunate to have had a great love story with Jack, one that will always have a place in my heart. We will forever be bound by our many great memories and by our precious son.
But the one thing that this unique town and the past 2 years have taught me is that it is ok to open your heart and love again. A great love can come more than once in a lifetime and I'm finally realizing that I can have that with Nathan. Yes Nathan. It's always been Nathan. But somehow I just couldn't admit that to myself because I've been so afraid of losing him like I lost Jack.
In the process, I've caused a lot of pain to those I care most about. I've been avoiding Bill and basically have only spoken to him in passing or when I need something. I guess avoiding him keeps him from telling me something I don't want to hear. I know how close Bill and Nathan have become so I am certain he would have tried to help us connect. I've pushed Rosemary away simply because she tried to tell me the truth, as any real friend should. I am so embarrassed by my actions and can only hope that Rosemary and Bill can offer forgiveness in time. Right now, I'm not worthy of their friendship.
As for Lucas, it pains me to say this but he was absolutely right. There is something more between Nathan and I. While I'm sad that Lucas has noticed it all this time and this has undoubtedly caused him hurt, I'm also a bit puzzled that he has not questioned me about it sooner. And why would he continue to see me if he felt that I had stronger feelings for Nathan all this time? Perhaps that is something I need to speak with Lucas about, especially if we are to move forward as friends.
I know that I've hurt both Nathan and Allie beyond measure. Even though we are all on good terms at the moment, I need to ask their forgiveness for my actions. In retrospect, I am horrified about cancelling our family dinner all those months ago. I'm horrified at how I have treated Nathan all these months. I've allowed my fears to dictate my actions for too long now. I love them both so much and I want nothing more than for the 4 of us to find a way to move forward together. I will never not worry about Nathan being a Mountie but I also know that by letting fear dictate my actions, it's keeping me from experiencing what should be one of my greatest joys.
Elizabeth yawned and put her journal on the nightstand. She turned off the lamp and lay down and closed her eyes. It felt good to finally process what had been going on for the past few months. Now she could only hope that it wasn't too late to repair her relationships with all of her loved ones. The next morning Elizabeth stepped out of the house after getting Little Jack situated with Robert. She started to walk next door to the Coulter home but hesitated. Fortunately, Rosemary opened the door and Elizabeth got right to the point.
"I'm so sorry. I've behaved horribly. I don't know how I ever doubted your intentions or your friendship. Do you forgive me?" Elizabeth asked as she held out a basket of muffins as a peace offering.
Rosemary rushed down the steps and said "Of course I do!" and pulled Elizabeth into a hug.
A few minutes later, they were seated around the Coulter kitchen table for tea and baked goods. Elizabeth knew it would take some work to heal her friendship with Rosemary but they were off to a good start. She told her best friend about what had transpired with Lucas the night before and how he had suspected there was something more between her and Nathan.
Rosemary gave Elizabeth a knowing look before she spoke.
"People come into our lives, some for a reason, others for a season, and some for a lifetime. Jack was a season, and it was glorious. Now it's up to you to decide who might be here for a reason or perhaps even a lifetime. And once you've settled that in your heart, you'll be able to throw yourself into that person's arms with all of your being."
Elizabeth gave Rosemary a grateful look before continuing to sip her tea. She knew very well that Lucas was her reason and Nathan was her lifetime. Lucas was the reason because he had helped her get her book published and because he had helped her realize that she could open her heart to love again. But that love was only reserved for Nathan. Now it was time for Elizabeth to take some long overdue action on that.
A couple hours later, Nathan yawned as he rode back into town with Jesse at his side. He was uncharacteristically exhausted and the cut on his left hand was burning and he figured it was finally time to see Faith about it. His leather glove was not helping matters as it was irritating the cut even more. He had been hoping that it would simply heal on its own but that did not seem to be the case. When he and Jesse finally arrived in town, they were greeted by the crowd who had just watched the stagecoach carrying Carson leave town.
Nathan watched as Jesse quickly dismounted and reunited with Clara. Jesse explained to Clara that Spurlock and the 2 younger Pinkertons had run him off the road so he ran off on foot and got lost in the mountains since he didn't have a compass. He created a makeshift camp until Nathan finally found him. He figured that was safer than continuing to move and potentially running into the Pinkertons again. Clara seemed satisfied with that explanation for now and took Jesse home to get settled.
Elizabeth had also wandered over to hold the reins of Jesse's horse. As she handed them back to Nathan, she asked him if they could talk later. He gave her a small smile and a tip of the hat and rode off to the Mountie office. Nathan had learned to taper his expectations when it came to Elizabeth these days so he gave her a neutral reaction. After tying Newton to the post outside, he took the extra horse back to the livery and then planned to walk over to the Infirmary to see Faith. On his way, he noticed that Faith was waiting for him outside the Mountie office.
"Hi Nathan. I just came from checking on Jesse and he mentioned that you looked a little pale so I wanted to check on you."
Nathan chuckled. "It was an early morning so probably just a lack of sleep. Though I do seem to have an issue with this cut on my hand."
He removed his glove and showed Faith the cut on his outstretched hand. Faith quickly examined Nathan's hand and motioned for him to sit down next to her. Nathan complied as Faith started removing medical supplies from her black bag.
"How did you do this?" Faith asked.
"I cut it on barbed wire last week when I temporarily misplaced my gloves. I was on my rounds and I was trying to chase away a raccoon so he wouldn't spook Newton."
"Nathan, this looks pretty bad. I wish you had come to see me sooner. You have first aid training so you should know better."
"I'm sorry. It seemed minor to me and I've had a lot on my mind so I guess I didn't think much of it."
"Ok, well I'm going to clean it and treat it with some iodine and then wrap it. I want you to take it easy with the hand and then come and see me tomorrow so I can check it again. I'm concerned about infection since this went untreated for so long."
"Understood Doc. I'll come see you again tomorrow."
Nathan and Faith briefly exchanged pleasantries about Carson and then parted ways. Nathan went into his office to do some paperwork but found himself falling asleep in his chair. He was woken up by Elizabeth walking into the office.
"Hi"
"Hi," Nathan said as he stood up.
"I don't know where to begin," Elizabeth began but was quickly interrupted by the door opening again.
Bill came into the office in a hurry.
"Nathan, we have a problem with the Pinkertons. Spurlock and his 2 minions were the ones who ran Jesse off the road. I know you didn't chat much on the way home but I think you need to get a statement from him right away. This might be the information we need to find out who the Pinkertons are working for."
Elizabeth was frozen in place. "Bill, did you say Spurlock? As in Charles Spurlock?"
"No, this is Julius Spurlock. Not a coincidence I'm sure." Bill said as he gently placed his hand on Elizabeth's arm.
"Would somebody like to fill me in?" asked Nathan.
Elizabeth spoke. "Years ago, Charles Spurlock was a Pinkerton who worked for Gowen. He tried to set up Cat Montgomery when she wouldn't respond to his advances by blaming her for burning down the old church. I learned the truth and he tried to shoot me. Jack rescued me just in time thankfully and arrested Spurlock. As far as I know, he's still in jail."
"Yes, he is. I already checked with Mountie headquarters." added Bill.
Nathan was sick to his stomach at the thought of someone trying to shoot Elizabeth. But he hoped it wasn't obvious.
A now exasperated Bill looked at him. "Well? Are you going to get a statement from Jesse or not?"
"Yes, I'm going now." Nathan looked at Elizabeth. "Can we continue this later?"
"Sure. Maybe you can stop by on your way home?"
Nathan smiled and nodded and then headed out the door with Bill.
"When we are done with Jesse, I have an update on the adoption papers too." said Bill as he walked out with Nathan.
Elizabeth was left alone in the Mountie office. She walked over to Nathan's desk and ran her finger along the framed photo of Nathan and Allie. What had taken her so long to see that Nathan was the one for her? She silently chastised herself and hoped it wasn't too late for her and Nathan. As she turned to leave the office, Nathan's very full bookshelf caught her eye. She walked over and smiled as she saw some of the familiar fiction authors on the shelf along with a handful of Nathan's law books. Elizabeth could not wait for the chance to spend more time with Nathan. With that, she walked out and headed across the street to the Saloon.
After running into Lucas earlier in the day at Abigail's and then getting interrupted, Elizabeth wanted to finish the conversation once and for all. As she walked into the Saloon, she saw Lucas standing behind the bar organizing some glasses. He stopped as he noticed Elizabeth approaching.
"Hello Lucas"
"Elizabeth"
"Do you have a few minutes? I wanted to continue our conversation from earlier."
Lucas motioned to a nearby table so Elizabeth walked over to it and sat down. Lucas sat in a chair across from her, noticeably different from last time they had been in the Saloon together.
"Lucas, about what you said last night. You were right about what you said about love." Elizabeth took a deep breath. "And what you said about Nathan and I. There is something there between us. I've been trying so hard to fight it these past few months but I can no longer deny it. I'm really sorry Lucas. I care about you a great deal and it was never my intention to hurt you. I truly thought that I couldn't be with Nathan because it would hurt too much if I lost him like I lost Jack. I really was hoping that you and I could make things work but as time went on, I started to realize that wasn't going to be the case. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to admit it. Based on what you said last night, it sounds like you realized it as well. I'm ashamed of my actions and I hope that you can forgive me in time. I'd really like us to remain friends."
"Elizabeth, I'm not going to lie. I've suspected that there was something between you and Nathan for some time now. I feel like I've been on the outside looking in to a relationship between two other people. Every time I saw you with Allie or Nathan, it became more and more clear to me that your heart was with them and not me."
"Then why did you continue to pursue me?"
Now Lucas took a deep breath. "I guess because I don't like to lose? Don't get me wrong, Elizabeth. I care about you a great deal and I'm appreciative for all the time we've spent together. I've enjoyed it very much. It has made me a better person and also has helped me to be a better member of this community through my businesses and the Christmas Festival. For that, I'll be forever grateful to you. And you're right, I should have said something sooner about Nathan but maybe you weren't quite ready to hear it?"
Elizabeth slowly nodded as Lucas continued.
"Anyway, I truly wish you and Nathan the best. He's a very noble man and I know he will take great care of you and Little Jack, just as he does for Allie. As I said when I came back from New Orleans, I just want you to be happy. And the way you and Nathan look at one another, it's clear that you belong together. I'm done with being the red herring." Lucas said with a smile.
Elizabeth smiled back. "Lucas, can you ever forgive me?
"As long as you can forgive me?"
"Gladly!"
"Good, we are even. And I would love nothing more than to remain friends with you and hopefully in time with Nathan as well. You have my word that I will also continue to help with your book as long as you are comfortable with it."
"Thank you Lucas. I'd really like that too but I think I should talk to Nathan first."
"I understand. And you'll have my mom's support with the book regardless. Now if you'll excuse me, I actually need to meet with Fiona about becoming a partner in the oil business. I'm glad you took the time to stop by."
"Me too. Say hi to Fiona for me." Elizabeth silently wondered about whether Lucas and Fiona might make a nice couple as she stood up and walked out of the Saloon.
Elizabeth headed home feeling lighter than she had in months. She knew she still needed to have a talk with Bill but she would do that this week. She was looking forward to Nathan stopping by on his way home so that she could tell him how she really felt. Elizabeth got home and paid Robert and then cooked dinner for herself and Little Jack. She then spent some time with him before putting him to bed. Since it was the first week of school, there weren't any papers to grade yet so Elizabeth decided to take advantage of the time and read a book. After an hour, she was really surprised that Nathan still hadn't stopped by. Finally, there was a knock on the door.
She took a deep breath, straightened out her skirt, and went to open the door, Bill was standing there instead of Nathan. Elizabeth took one look at Bill's face and immediately knew something was wrong."
"What's happened?"
"It's Nathan. He came home earlier with a fever."
"That explains why he didn't stop by like he said he would."
"Yes. He apparently cut his hand somehow last week and didn't really treat it thinking it was a simple cut and would go away. The simple cut has turned into a bad infection. Nathan decided to lie down before dinner and when Allie went to wake him, his fever had spiked. She couldn't wake him so she called me and I came right away and brought Faith with me. Faith is over there now so I came to tell you."
Elizabeth already had her coat on. "Let me just get Lee or Rosie to watch Jack." she said as she ran over to the Coulter home. A few minutes later Elizabeth walked back with Rosemary and then she and Bill quickly walked over to the Grant home.
As they entered Nathan's house, Allie was sitting on the settee crying hysterically. Elizabeth took off her coat and quickly sat next to the young girl pulling her into a hug. Now crying too, Elizabeth just held Allie and rubbed her back. Bill looked on.
"Mrs. Thornton, I've never seen Uncle Nathan so unresponsive like that. What if he doesn't wake up? He's all I have."
There was a light knock at the door and Bill opened it to reveal Joseph Canfield. He entered and stood silently next to Bill.
"Allie, don't borrow trouble from tomorrow. Dr. Carter is going to do everything in her power to help your uncle. He's young and otherwise healthy so that should work in his favor too." said Elizabeth.
"And I'm going to lead a prayer vigil for him tonight as well. I just came by to see if you all needed anything before I head to the church." added Joseph.
"Thank you Joseph. I'm sure Nathan will appreciate that." said Bill.
Elizabeth looked at Joseph and nodded through her tears.
Faith came down the stairs and addressed the waiting group. "Nathan has a bad infection as a result of the cut on his hand. It was left untreated for too long unfortunately. The next 24-48 hours will be critical so we've got to work on getting his fever down. That's the most important thing right now so he can recover. Can we call the Saloon and send for some ice? I'll need to stay here tonight to monitor him."
"I'll call Lucas right now," said Bill as he walked over to the phone. "I remember how upset Nathan was when we installed this phone a few months ago so that people could reach him in an emergency. He thought it was disruptive. I bet he never thought he'd be the actual emergency."
"Can I see him, Dr. Carter?" asked Allie.
"You can. Why don't you place a cold cloth on his head as well? There's a full basin next to the bed now." said Faith.
"Mrs. Thornton, will you please come with me?"
Elizabeth looked at Faith who simply nodded. She then followed Allie upstairs to Nathan's room. All thoughts of any impropriety were gone by the wayside. This was a dire situation and Nathan needed her presence. When they entered Nathan's room, he was lying in bed covered in sweat from the high fever. Elizabeth had never seen Nathan so pale. She bit her lip to keep from crying again.
Allie immediately walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it next to Nathan. She took his right hand in hers and just watched him. Elizabeth wanted nothing more than to fix this for both of them. She couldn't stand seeing Nathan ailing this much and she was terrified of losing him before she had a chance to tell him that she loved him. Elizabeth walked over to the basin and picked up a cold cloth. She then went over to the bed and gently wiped the sweat off Nathan's face. She went back to the basin and wet the cloth again, rung it out, and then placed it on Nathan's forehead hoping it would suffice until the ice arrived. For now, Elizabeth stood behind Allie and placed her hands on the girl's shoulders as she silently prayed.
A short while later, Lucas arrived with several buckets full of ice. He and Bill then packed the ice around Nathan in the hopes that it would break his fever. Lucas agreed to come back in a few hours with fresh ice to replenish the current supply. It was almost 10pm and Allie was fighting sleep. Elizabeth noticed and gently helped her stand and walk to her bedroom. She had Allie change into her nightgown and then tucked her into bed.
"Mrs. Thornton, what if Uncle Nathan wakes up and needs something? I can't help him if I'm asleep."
"Don't you worry sweetheart. I will stay by his side in case he needs something. Dr. Carter is also here as is Judge Avery. None of us are leaving until your uncle is ok again. And he would want you to get some sleep as well. No need to cause him additional worry."
"But what about Mr. Bouchard? Won't he be angry?"
"No Allie. Mr. Bouchard and I are no longer seeing one another. We are just friends and will remain just friends."
"How come?"
"We both realized that my heart belongs elsewhere." Elizabeth said with a smile.
Allie understood the subtext immediately and hugged Elizabeth. They stayed that way for a while.
"I know this isn't the best time to discuss this but I am aware of how my recent behavior has hurt both you and your uncle. You both mean the world to me. And I'm truly sorry and hope that you can both forgive me."
"I forgive you, Mrs. Thornton. Thank you for saying that. I'm glad you're here tonight."
"I am too Allie. Now try to get some sleep and I'll come get you if he wakes up."
Allie laid down and Elizabeth kissed her forehead before heading back to Nathan's room. For the next few hours, she alternated between wiping the sweat off his face, placing a cold cloth on his forehead, and simply talking to him while she held his good hand. Elizabeth would do everything in her power to help Nathan heal. She had wasted enough time not being honest about her feelings for him.
Faith checked in periodically but there was no change. True to his word, Lucas returned around 3am with fresh ice. Once again, he and Bill packed Nathan in it. Lucas left with a promise to return again with more ice early in the morning.
As 7am approached and the sun slowly started to rise, Elizabeth found herself dozing off in her bedside chair. A sudden gasp quickly woke her. Nathan's unwrapped hand was moving over the ice as he started to shiver. Elizabeth quickly took his hand and held it to her heart.
"Nathan? Are you awake?"
He slowly opened his eyes and looked surprised to see Elizabeth at his bedside.
"Elizabeth? What happened?" Nathan asked as he continued to shiver.
"Your hand got badly infected and you've had a spiked fever for the past few hours. Faith had you packed in the ice to try to bring the fever down."
Nathan closed his eyes and laughed. "I think it's working."
Elizabeth reached over and felt his forehead. "And I think you're right! Let me go get Faith so we can see if we can get you out of this ice."
"Wait a minute. Were you here all night?"
Elizabeth now had tears in her eyes. "Yes Nathan, I was. I wanted to take care of you and make sure you were all right. A lot of people in this town need you as do a lot of people in this house right now."
Nathan now had tears in his eyes even though he was still shivering. "Elizabeth, does this mean what I think it means? What about Lucas?"
"Yes Nathan, it does. I love you. And I'm in love with you and have been for some time now. You were right all those months ago when you said that you knew I felt the same way. I did feel the same way but I was too scared of losing you to admit it. It was always you, Nathan. Only you. Lucas knew that as well so we broke up amicably last night. He's actually the one who brought the ice over and he helped Bill pack you in it.
I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you and Allie. I know I've hurt a lot of people over the past few months and I am trying to rectify all of that now. Hurting you was never my intention and I hope you can forgive me. I love you so much and I love Allie and I hope to spend the rest of my life showing you both just how much."
Nathan smiled. "I forgive you Elizabeth. And just in case you need to hear it again, I love you and I'm in love with you. And I love your son."
With that Nathan let go of the hand Elizabeth was holding and reached both arms up to the back of her neck. Elizabeth realized what was happening and placed her hands behind Nathan's head. She leaned down towards him as he lifted his head slightly with her support and their lips eventually met. Their first kiss was sweet and full of love.
"Well, it's about time!" quipped Bill.
Elizabeth and Nathan quickly pulled apart and turned to see Bill, Faith and Allie standing in the doorway of Nathan's room.
"Yes, it's about time to get rid of this ice!" laughed Nathan as he shivered again.
"I think that's a good possibility as it looks like the ice has done its job." added Faith as she approached Nathan's bed to examine him.
An hour later, Allie had gone back to sleep and Bill had removed all traces of the ice from Nathan's room. Nathan still had a cold cloth on his forehead. Elizabeth came back in to sit with Nathan while Faith napped in the living room. As Bill got ready to head back downstairs, he remembered the conversation from the day before.
"Nathan, when you're feeling better, we need to continue that discussion about the adoption issue."
"What issue?" asked Elizabeth.
Bill looked at Nathan for approval to continue and Nathan nodded.
"The County has concerns about Nathan being a single Mountie. Nathan already has a guardian for Allie should anything happen to him but the County is still concerned about Allie's welfare. So, we need to write them an appeal letter when Nathan is feeling better. Nathan always puts Allie first and he isn't the type to put himself into unnecessary risk so we will explain that in the letter."
"Bill, do you think the letter will help? I'll quit the Mounties if I have to."
"I hope so. I've done some research and there are cases where the appeal letter made the difference at getting the adoption approved. If it doesn't work, we will figure something else out. I know how important this is to you and Allie. Let's hold off on the quitting talk for now."
Elizabeth had been silent throughout this exchange and finally spoke.
"What if you don't need a letter to get the adoption approved?"
"Elizabeth, you're not making any sense. We have to have a letter." said Bill.
Elizabeth turned to look at Nathan. "I know I've wasted a lot of time since that Founders Day Dance 2 years ago and I don't want to waste any more time. Jack and I thought we had all the time in the world and then we suddenly didn't. I love you and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So, why wait any longer?"
"What are you saying, Elizabeth?" asked Nathan.
"I guess I'm asking you to marry me Nathan. I'm ready to start our life together now. Look at Florence and Ned. They fell in love without any grand gestures or formal courtship and now they're happily married. Love came softly for them and that's the same way we fell in love. So, I think they've set a good precedent for a happy marriage with a blended family."
Nathan closed his eyes briefly and smiled. He then opened them and looked at Elizabeth. "How can I say no to that? Yes, I will marry you Elizabeth!"
He then pulled the cold cloth off his head and slowly sat up. Nathan cupped his hands around Elizabeth's face before pulling her into another kiss. This time Nathan and Elizabeth were at eye level when they kissed. Bill just stood by the door and smiled as he watched two of his favorite people finally come together.
One month later, Nathan was fully recovered from his health scare. On a warm Saturday afternoon in October, Bill married Nathan and Elizabeth in his office with Allie and Little Jack at their side while Lee, Rosemary, Constable Gabriel Kinslow, and his fiancee Lillian Walsh served as witnesses. Elizabeth wore the dress she had worn to Florence and Ned's wedding and the hairstyle she had worn to Little Jack's christening while Nathan wore his dress Serge. Little Jack wore a tan suit while Allie wore the same dress from her adoption ceremony. Immediately after their first married kiss, Nathan and Elizabeth Grant signed the final adoption papers making them legally Allie's parents. With tears in her eyes, Allie hugged her now Mom and Dad as Nathan picked up Little Jack. It was the perfect circle of love.