Written by deathroman13

Just Breath

Ichabod woke up with a startle in the guest room of the Van Tassel mansion bathed in sweat. It wasn't so much his dreams that were haunting him this time but the experiences of the previous day. Barely twelve hours ago, he was still convinced that Katrina was the one controlling the Headless Horseman. Even though his rational mind told him to act upon these allegations, he couldn't bring himself to arrest her. He already made up an excuse to explain the situation to the Burgomaster back in New York so that he could leave that dreaded town and never think back on it less his heart would completely shatter.

Shortly after boarding the carriage back to New York, Ichabod realised his huge mistake and returned as quickly as he could in order to prove his new theory and save the life of the woman he'd fallen in love with, something Ichabod never dared expect to happen when the Burgomaster gave him this forced assignment. The nightmare of last night was all too real for once. Ichabod barely managed to return the skull to its proper owner in time, a second later and Katrina would have been... The consequences were too disturbing for him to even think about.

The Horseman took lady Van Tassel back with him to hell but the sight of her still twitching arm sticking outside of the tree unsettled him so much that he blacked out. That was the last thing Ichabod remembered before waking up mere moments ago. He was sitting upright on the bed of the guest room assigned to him, now wondering where Katrina was and how she was feeling at the moment after losing both her father and stepmother. Slowly he got out of the bed, dressed himself appropriately and went searching for Katrina inside the house. He once caught her before in the middle of the night reading a book in the living area so that was the first place he went searching.

His instincts were correct. He saw the familiar glow of candle light shining through the edge of the door that was still partially open. Carefully he entered the room for he wished not to startle her. Unlike the previous time, Katrina wasn't sitting on the couch reading a book but he saw her kneeling in front of the fireplace while muttering softly, words that did reach his ears but refused to enter his mind. A familiar feeling of fear gripped his heart as Ichabod moved closer to the fireplace. His anxieties were confirmed when he saw her drawing symbols in the ashes. A quick flashback in his mind showed his mother making similar symbols in ashes. He'd almost lost his composure when he saw Katrina drawing these symbols in the abandoned ruins but now the fear felt somehow more intense than ever. His breathing became more shallow and his hands gripped the sofa in front of him, although he was not consciously aware of his actions.

Katrina however did pick up on these sensations as she turned her head and looked at him with concern in her eyes. Ichabod did not know how she was able to sense his presence in the room but there were more things he did not yet understand about her.

"Are you alright?" She asked gently with a hint of sadness in her voice.

Ichabod nodded quickly and replied with a slight uneven voice. "Yes I'm fine thank you, but I rather think that I'm supposed to ask you that very question."

Katrina stood up wiping some of the ash off her dress. She left the fireplace now covered with strange drawings of swirls and other symbols, and made her way towards the couch where Ichabod was standing behind. She scanned his figure carefully, noticing his hands slightly trembling on the edge of the sofa. Her eyes moved upwards to his face and in response he averted his eyes to another spot in the room. She halted in front of him, now only separated by the couch in between them when she continued speaking.
"I'm doing as fine as anyone can be in a situation like this. It's hard, very hard and difficult to deal with losing the ones I loved, I thought I almost lost you as well. I'm very fortunate that you returned in time before my...stepmother could finish what she started."

Ichabod smiled sadly at her while once more returning his gaze upon her. "I...yes..well." Why had she mentioned the words loss and love after making those familiar symbols in the ashes he thought by himself. His discomfort was rising with each shallow breath he took, which was something that did not go unnoticed by her. Katrina moved around the couch so that she was able to confront him directly without any objects in front of her. This heightened sense of intimacy only added to his increasing discomfort.

"The previous time I saw your reaction to my drawings I led it slide for I didn't wish to intrude so personally on what was such a beautiful moment. But I can't do that anymore Ichabod, not after all that's happened. You have to tell me what is going on." She grabbed his hands and turned it upwards, palms facing her. The small gesture made him feel warm inside, knowing that at least somebody cared enough to ask but answering the question was a daunting task.

"Does it have anything to do with the story you spoke of the night after the Horseman wounded you?" She asked gently while holding his hands and inspecting the curious scars with her fingertips. "You still haven't told me how you got these scars, is it related to the story of your mother as well?"

Ichabod swallowed, unable to answer her questions now that his past suddenly seemed to rush back into his head all at once. His eyes were now focussed on the hands that grabbed his, the scars terrifyingly visible before him, a reminder of his dark childhood. He felt himself become dizzy, the lightheadedness growing heavier with each passing second. "I...I believe I've told you about them already." The words hurriedly rolled out of his mouth with a voice that was almost unrecognizable to him.

Katrina squeezed his hands firmly in an attempt to snap his mind back to the present day.
"Ichabod, just breath with me."
His eyes moved back towards hers, those deep brown eyes provided the solace that he so desperately needed. He concentrated fiercely upon it and felt himself calming down again. His dizzy spell diminished and it felt as if he once more found some security in his life. Katrina noticed his breathing returning to normal and smiled. "There you go, just breath Ichabod."

Her hands tugged his as she moved backwards, guiding him towards the couch where they sat down next to each other. They remained seated in silence for several minutes still holding each other's hands. Ichabod was thankful for her quiet attention but he knew he had to finally speak up.
"These symbols you're making in the ashes, it's something my mother did while practicing her craft. I'm sorry Katrina but it's just the similarities which seem to haunt me so, my past has never ceased tormenting me. No, it has only increased tenfold since I ever came to this place and I'm not certain how I can deal with all these memories and emotions."

Katrina pulled him closer in a semi-hug with his head now resting on her shoulder. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the affections she was giving him.
"Don't worry, I will teach you their meaning if you let me. " She whispered softly into his ear. "Tell me, how did you get these scars on your hands. I might not be able to take them away but I can help you take away the pain."

Ichabod swallowed, he was having difficulties finding the right words but he knew he had to tell her. "The night after my father took her away...I found her inside a..." Katrina gently rubbed his back while softly urging him to continue. The intimate touch seem to give him more courage as he spoke with a bit more confidence. "I found her inside a torture chamber. It was such a ghastly room with an iron maiden in the middle. She...she was inside of this device all covered in blood with an empty gaze in her eyes. The sight of her made me jump so badly that I backed away, my hands pressing down on a chair full with spikes. That's, how I got these odd scars on my hands."

Katrina gasped at hearing this incredibly traumatizing story from him. She heard him speak about his murdered mother before but never could have guessed that his mother met such a violent end. Hearing how he found the body of his own dead mother at the age of seven almost broke her heart. She pulled him tighter against her own body in an attempt to offer some comfort. Her reaction surprised Ichabod who was now fighting back the tears forming in his eyes but that was a lost cause. He ended up sobbing in the arms of Katrina, feeling as if the weight of his trauma was falling off with every single sob. Never before in his life had he someone whom he could trust with his deepest traumas.

It took several minutes before he was finally able to regain some of his composure. He lifted up his head to look at her eyes once more. "I'm sorry, you recently lost your father and I'm just bawling in your arms." His eyes were glassy, still filled with tears as he spoke. "I have no rights to break down and cry like this in front of you."

Katrina placed a finger on his mouth. "Shhh. Don't apologize to me. You have all the rights in the world to express yourself with tears. This is truly an awful story that you've told me, one that no child should ever have to experience yet you did." She removed her finger from his mouth and replaced it with her lips. Ichabod's initial reaction was one of total shock but he quickly relaxed in her embrace closing his eyes as their first true kiss deepened. They explored each other's mouth until lack of air forced them to depart.

Ichabod opened his eyes again, the look of sadness now replaced with one of desire and hope. "Please come back with me to New York." The words rolled out of his mouth without thinking but he knew in his heart that he wanted nothing more in his life than to share it with her. Katrina smiled and pulled him once more close to her heart in a fierce embrace. "I'll gladly live with you in New York." She whispered in his ear. Tears were now forming in her eyes as well. "It's time for a clean slate for both of us together don't you think my love."

"Yes a clean slate indeed." Ichabod replied softly, his insides made a small summersault when Katrina accepted his proposal. Life for once didn't look so bleak anymore to him, his mind now full of hope and healing at the prospect of sharing it with her.

"Perhaps you can show me New York's theaters and operas to me." She replied slyly recalling a conversation that they had on the first evening of Ichabod's arrival. "Even though you don't know them yet but be assured we soon will!" Ichabod laughed at her remark clearly remembering how he badly embarassed himself in front of her during their first private conversation. "I'm positively sure that we shall." He replied before taking the initiative and reclaiming her mouth with his.