Supernatural: Fighting for You

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters. I just really love them. Also, I am a Dean girl, but I don't hate on Sam.

A/N: SPOILERS

So, I've watched all 15 seasons of Supernatural. I've thoroughly enjoyed all of them. But that last episode, man, it KILLED me. I think season 9 of Supernatural is where I really began to see how different Dean and Sam's perspectives were when it came to the value of their lives. Dean's priority was Sam living, Sam's priority was not putting his life or anyone's life above the lives of others. Sam also recognized that there was a lot in the world that he couldn't control and so I think he stopped trying to fight "fate". I think Dean recognized the same thing, but it only made him fight harder to fix and keep what he could.

I also think that Sam struggled with not meeting his own expectations, he couldn't get Dean out of hell, he didn't look for Dean when he was in purgatory, he couldn't close the gates of hell, and the one time when he did fight for Dean, i.e., to get the Mark of Cain off of Dean, he brought darkness back into the world (which, if we're being honest, wasn't as bad as Gadreel killing Kevin), and Sam's character is not one to live well with regret/guilt on his shoulders. Sam could never just accept that the consequences sucked, but that there was something worth more than the consequences.

I think that Dean struggled with not meeting Sam's expectations. Sam wanted Dean to let him die, to let Sam feel like he had made his penance and move on. It wasn't in Dean's character to let him do that. He would always put Sam first. That meant that Sam would get to live and not die bloody.

For Dean, it wasn't about penance, it was about knocking the bad guys down, saving the world, protecting his family, and living with the consequences. I think if Sam had been about fighting until he couldn't anymore, I would have liked his character more (personal opinion), but, for me, Sam was always so willing to go with the self-sacrifice first option, that it cheapened the seriousness of the sacrifice when that option became the only option left.

Whereas, I felt that Dean was more of a "we fight until we can't and then we go out together", or "I die for Sam" kind of character. The show kind of allowed us to see Dean struggle with Sam's perspective, while Sam adopted the "you don't get to die to save everyone" for a short while with the Michael possession. But I wish Sam would have embraced Dean's perspective more as Dean came back to that perspective.

This leads me to the final episode of the series. I would have loved if Sam would have finally understood Dean's perspective enough to disregard Dean's "wishes" and fight for Dean's life as Dean had fought for his. So, after that very long dissertation, please enjoy my AU version starting in the old barn with Dean dying in the last episode of the series.

"I need you to...to...to tell me...that it's okay. I need you to tell me that it's okay." Dean said, weakly, he could feel the blood running down his back and it hurt to breathe. The pain was fading though. Bad sign, he thought.

"No." Sam's voice was thick with emotion and Dean fought to move his attention from the situation to his brother.

Trying to take a breath, the agony of the attempt almost caused him to blackout. Taking a tentative breath, he tried to hide the pain from his brother.

Sam couldn't believe that Dean was asking him to let go. Dean never listened when Sam asked him, why did he think Sam would listen? Sam's mind flashed back to all the times he'd asked Dean to let him go before and Dean had refused. Dean had continuously risked everything to bring Sam back. When Dean had made a demon deal to restore Sam's life, Sam had been furious, but it was tempered by the knowledge that the deal only gave Dean a year to live. When Sam's soul had been trapped in the cage with Lucifer and Dean had made a deal with Death to bring it back, he'd been distraught that Dean had risked so much for him again.

When he had almost died after the trials and Dean let an angel possess him, Sam had been furious. Time and time again, Dean did crazy, stupid things to bring Sam back from the dead, often ignoring Sam's choice. Dean had even overdosed himself one time because he'd thought Sam was dead after an encounter with werewolves and wanted to make a deal with Billy. As all these thoughts flashed through his mind, Sam felt like a hypocrite for his instinct to ignore Dean's wishes and save his life anyway, as Dean had for him.

"Look at me." Sam wouldn't meet his eyes, so Dean tried again. He wasn't usually one to give up on life, but he was tired. Maybe this time the world would be okay without him. Sam would be okay without him. He would miss Sam, miss life, miss Miracle. He finally had a home, had his brother, had a dog, and now it was over. I guess every rose really does have its thorns, he thought sadly.

"Look at me." Taking a shuddering breath, Dean continued when Sam finally met his eyes, "I need...I need...I need you to tell me i-it's o-okay." His strength was fading fast, he was fighting it, but he knew this was it.

"I-I need you to tell me...tell me it's o-okay." Because if it isn't, I'll stay, Sammy. I'll find a way. But it hurts so much, Dean's thoughts were warring with the finality of the situation. He would fight, but he wasn't sure he could. It would be so much easier if Sam just let him go.

"Dean..." Sam took a deep breath, tears filling his eyes, the pain across Dean's face was too much. The blood covering his hands told his logical mind that Dean was already gone, he was only holding on through sheer willpower. How could he ask his brother to stay? How could he tell his brother that he wasn't okay with him leaving when there was nothing he could do to save him? His heart tore in two as he uttered the words Dean needed to hear, "it's okay. You can go now."

With a small smile, Dean nodded as much as he could, his forehead now resting against Sam's, the pain had become a numbness covering his whole body, "Goodbye, Sam."

I love you, Sammy. Dean closed his eyes. Breathing in Sam's scent, he let the darkness take him. We had a good run, Sammy.

Breathing in his brother's scent, Sam closed his eyes, his forehead against his brother's. When Dean's head came to rest on his shoulder, he realized the life had gone from Dean's body. It wasn't until he felt the moister from Dean's tears on his shoulder that he understood exactly what that meant.

He had just let his brother die. Dean! No, no, no. This can't be happening.

The wrongness of the situation settled with a heaviness on his chest and he found his mind swirling with memories.

"You did look for me, didn't you?"

"I'd sacrifice them all!"

"We're family, Sammy."

"There is no me without you."

"A hunter's life only ends one way, bloody."

Something inside of him finally snapped into place. No, Dean, our lives do not have to end bloody.

Holding on to Dean's body, tears streaming down his face, resolved to accept the consequences of being a hypocrite, Sam did the only thing he could.

"Castiel? Jack? I-I know w-we've asked a l-lot. And, and I k-know Dean's at p-peace, in h-heaven, but please, please, I... I need him back. It, it can't end like this. He deserves more. He... he is my family. Please... I.. he... you've gotta..." The pain of loss choked him up and his words tumbled to an end, his heart crying out in a way that his words never could.

A/N: The story is complete, but I am going to upload it in sections :) I made some adjustments to this chapter, I felt it needed a little more. Please let me know what you think! I'm not gonna lie, just reading the script from that scene made me almost cry. I had to breathe through it because I was at work, but man, they did a great job of getting to my heartstrings.