Killua can admit he watches porn. He feels no shame in saying so. It helps him get off, it's a good stress reliever and its natural. He would argue anyone who says otherwise.
But he is not the type of person to pay for it. He is content with the free stuff–it doesn't take much to get him off. Watching two naked hot guys messing around is sufficient enough, and that's simple and easy to find.
The 'premium' and paid versions have always just seemed like a rip off to him. He thought for sure that only desperate, and quite honestly stupid people were the ones to fall for it. Those little clips that purposefully cut off just before the best part are enticing, sure, but given the amount of free porn available, why would he bother clicking on the link asking for payment? What was the point when he could find something equivalent without emptying his pockets and his pride? Killua really wants to reiterate. He is not the type of person to pay for porn.
So can someone please explain to him why he has his credit card out and is filling in the payment details, practically frantic, as he slides his fingers quickly across the keyboard? Why he is doing this when he's a broke college student? Why he's deciding to do this at midnight when he has an early shift tomorrow? He couldn't answer himself.
As he prepares himself to press the confirm payment button, affirming that he really is about to spend fifty dollars to watch one video of a dude moaning, he apologises to all those he called desperate for his hypocrisy.
Clicking with trembling fingers, the screen darkens to process the payment and for a moment he sees himself in the reflection. His eyes are slightly crazed, his under eyes are smudged with dark circles indicating his lack of sleep, and his white hair looks like a bird's nest, because it is past midnight and yes, he's watching porn instead of sleeping. Yeah, this feels like a pretty low moment in his life.
His pitiful sight is soon replaced by the confirmation screen and a wave of anticipation courses through him as he becomes suddenly aware of his body. More specifically how horny he is. He can feel a heat pulsing beneath his skin, and the strain of his cock in his pants begging to be touched. He's so pent up he feels like he could explode. Finally, he clicks on the full version of the video he just paid for, vibrating with excitement.
It started with reddit. He could blame it all on that. He got the account because everything nsfw got banned off Tumblr leaving his gay ass stranded. He liked porn, sure. But the mainstream sites were too fake for him. He could tell the guys weren't enjoying themselves as much as their obnoxious moans might say otherwise. Tumblr was a good alternative for that. It felt more real. But the change in regulations meant he had to migrate somewhere else. Twitter was an option, but he couldn't figure out how to use it, so he was left with reddit.
Immediately he discovered that it was a cesspool of weirdos and know-it-alls– the community almost made him leave before he even got his foot in the door, but its ample collection of explicit subreddits convinced him to stay.
His feed consisted mostly of various gay nudes and the occasional cute cat pic that he couldn't help but upvote. A lot of it was littered with men who, while perhaps justifiably so, thought they were the hottest shit ever. Killua found himself rolling his eyes at their narcissism–just because they had a big dick and abs didn't mean anything if they were such an ass about it.
Perhaps he was judging them too harshly, but he was starting to bore at how similar all the posts were. The same conceited smirk, the same downward angled selfie. It was all the same. Sure, they had that amateurish vibe that he liked, but he missed the more personable and unique nature of Tumblr.
Then he discovered the user FreakyHunter.
It was by pure chance. Killua wouldn't have found him at all, but as he was lying in bed, scrolling through post after post, falling deeper into the pits of the internet and trying to find a reason to sleep, something made him pause. He was on a random user's profile page and they had cross posted a gif of a boy. A very muscular boy. A boy that had a fantastic ass and was fucking into a fleshlight. He was just his type.
The sight instantly made his cock twitch.
With eager eyes, Killua watched as the boy jut his hips into the velvety black toy which contrasted pleasingly against his tanned skin. He didn't have an impressive size, quite average in fact, but it was the prettiest cock he's ever seen. Not overly veiny, straight and a sweet rosy shade of pink, Killua's mouth salivated just looking at it. But what really got to him was the boy's shy smile in the corner of the screen.
Unfortunately, the user had hidden most of his face, only letting Killua see his pink mouth which surprisingly had a bashful tilt to it. So innocent in contrast to what he was doing. Killua could describe it modest if not for the fact that the man had posted it himself, obviously not against flaunting his defined biceps, strong forearms and broad chest that tapered into a defined waste. The man obviously spent a lot of time working out. Killua was impressed. He went to the gym three times a week but didn't have nearly the same level of definition as him.
But it was that small smile, which was strangely endearing and charming, that really drew Killua to the man. And it lit him with a burning fire–cute boys with a rock-hard body were just is type.
As he watched the guy's dick entering the flesh light, Killua could imagine it were him being fucked instead. And his body thrummed with anticipation at the mere thought of it.
After watching the gif three times, each time disappointed there were not more, Killua decided he should check out FreakyHunter's profile. Sure, Killua should be sleeping. But what was the harm in just a quick browse? He could stop after a few minutes and head to bed. He could do that. There was no harm in just looking, right?
The harm was immediate and severe.
According to the profile, the boy's name was Hunter, and as Killua scrolled down he was bombarded with gifs, selfies, but more importantly videos of the cute boy. Most of them contained Hunter fucking into various objects–sometimes biting his lip, sometimes panting, sometimes wearing that bashful smile. And the more Killua devoured it all, face pressed close to the screen, the more he was becoming aware of how fucking hot Hunter was. He couldn't understand why he was so obsessed with the muscular boy's mouth or why he found him fucking into his bedsheets hot, but it was an inarguable fact that he did.
But why then did he not stop there? Why did Killua continue to click the link in Hunter's bio to access the full version? Why?
Because of his moans. They were fucking angelic. And Killua was pathetically horny.
As Hunter rutted into his bed sheets, staining them with the precum dribbling from his cock, Killua was blessed with hearing his voice for the first time. It was gravelly and deep. The kind of voice that sent pleasant shivers down his spine. The kind of voice Killua could imagine breathing hot into his ear as he was fucked hard from behind. Even more thrilling were the occasional whimpers the boy let out at a particularly good thrust, his hips stuttering and his thighs clenching. Those sounds went straight to Killua's cock.
As Killua watched more, absorbed in taking in every twitch and movement of Hunter's perfect body, he become overtaken with just how damn cute he was. He was used to thinking the men who did this sort of thing were hot, but he couldn't deny, as Hunter ground into his bed, letting out little pants and moans saying "uh uh uh, so good," he was adorable. And Killua vibrated with desire just looking at him.
But just as he was about to slide his hands down his pants, ready to relieve some of the aching pressure that had culminated, the video ended. Fifteen seconds. The video was only fifteen damn seconds. Killua needed way more than that. And there was only one way for that to happen.
Later, he would be ashamed at how quickly he made his decision, but at the time, tense and on edge, he couldn't have stopped himself if he tried. In a matter of seconds, he had clicked the link in the description of the video and had his credit card ready to go.
That brings us back to the present, where Killua is pathetically gripping his cock around the base and thrusting, desperate, so damn desperate to relieve the pressure in his gut as he fervently stares at his laptop screen. He is rock hard, lying on his back, and practically pulsating as he moves his hand over himself. The sound coming from the laptop only encourages him more. Watching the amazingly hot boy in the video, Killua can't find it within him to regret spending fifty dollars.
Hunter is fucking into his sheets at a demanding pace, low moans escaping his mouth and whimpering, and Killua tries fiercely to keep in time with him. He's so high strung and the build in his gut already threatens to push him off the edge at a moment's notice. At a particularly high moan from the humping boy on the screen, Killua has to grasp himself around the base hard to avoid coming on the spot.
Hunter is beautiful. Each urgent movement and flex of his of his muscles as he grinds down hard reveals his gorgeously toned body. Killua only laments on the fact that he has so expertly positioned his face out of the camera's gaze, for he is sure that the sight would be even more beautiful. Although blurry, Killua can imagine his clenched eyes and slack jaw as he overwhelms himself with pleasure.
Killua stares eagle eyed at the spot where Hunter's pretty cock and the bed meet, entranced by the smooth slide of it. Hunter seems to enjoy it too given his moans.
It doesn't take much long for Hunter's hips to start stuttering and Killua is right alongside him. He is too pent up to last much longer as the time it took to buy the damn video already denied him for too long. With a final thrust and a "oh my god, oh my god. Yes!" Hunter's body is trembling and then he's messing the sheets below him, moaning lowly as he rides out his pleasure.
The sight is too much for Killua and he's forced to close his eyes as he teeters off the edge as well. He's overwhelmed as his orgasm that hits him so hard he can only throw his head back in a silent scream, his toes curling and body shaking as he jerks himself through it. By the time his orgasm is finished, he feels like a live wire, so hypersensitive he has to stop touching himself. Holy shit. That was amazing.
As he slowly becomes aware of his surroundings again, buzzing with endorphins, Killua has the state of mind to realise the video's still going. With keen eyes, he sees Hunter roll over to face the camera, only his mouth in view. And once again Killua is surprised to see that shy smile upon his face. Almost sheepish to the fact that he just filmed himself coming for strangers on the internet to see. Killua can't help but be endeared by it.
He eyes Hunter's lips as the boy bids farewell, "Well that was fun guys. Hope you had as good of a time as I did. Be sure to come back for more." Killua can practically feel the wink Hunter gives them, and then, with another small quirk of his lips- only noticeable to someone staring as hard as Killua-the video ends.
The black screen brings him back to the frigid bite of reality and looking down at the mess in his pants, his flaccid cock, and the dark spot where his come is seeping coolly through his pyjama pants, a sense of regret fills him.
Killua should not have done that. He really really really shouldn't have done that. He doesn't have the type of money to just idly throw away fifty bucks whenever he feels the need to let off some steam. His gut twinges with remorse for how much he'll have to cut down on expenses for the week just because he got horny. He is not loaded. At least, not anymore.
His family is rich and he grew up with everything he could possibly need. but other than Alluka, he cut off his entire family because they're abusive assholes. He is glad to be rid of them. But in moments like these, when he realises he'll only be eating two-minute noodle and stale bread for a week, he mourns their wealth and financial security. That is behind him though, and he'd rather burn to death than beg his family for money. So he must face the consequences of his actions.
Filled with dread and the cold of the night chilling him to the bones, Killua just wants to fall asleep and forget everything. But disgusted by the drying come on his stomach, he braves the chilly floor to the bathroom to clean himself off. He glares at his right hand as he wipes away it away, as if that would somehow turn back time and give him his fifty dollars back. Of course, it doesn't, and Killua just glares at his hand harder, before drying it off and deciding that he's clean enough to face plant into his pillow and sleep.
This can all be tomorrow's problem.