"Hay Blaine. Can I grab you a sec?"
"Sure Finn. What's up?"
"So you know my mom's marrying Kurt's dad."
"Yeah. Burt mentioned it yesterday after we closed the garage, Gave us all our invitations"
"Basically, they want our Glee clubs to perform at the wedding"
"Which means Kurt and the Warblers will be around more"
"Yeah. I just wanted to warn you so that you weren't to surprised when Mr Schue announces it in Glee later"
"I'm surprised Kurt managed to keep it secret"
"Burt and mom only told us last night at dinner"
"That explains why he bailed from our usual call to talk to Wes"
"Yeah. It's pretty cool dude. You're basically dating my brother!"
"Not too loud Finn! If Rachel hears she'll get a high and mighty about stealing setlists."
"That's a good point. I'll see you in Glee man"
"See you later Finn"
Pulling out his phone, Blaine opens WhatsApp to send a message to his boyfriend.
'So what exactly do you have planned for meeting the New Directions?'
Almost instantly he gets a response.
'You'll find out this afternoon dear. Just be prepared to be pulled into the number'
'Uptown Girl?'
'Nope. Something that stakes our claim a little better. Love you ?'
'I'm worried now. But I trust David and Thad to be able to keep you and Wes inline. Love you Too ?'
Slipping his phone away, Blaine heads to the library thinking of what horrors the Warbler head councilman and his boyfriend could come up with together.
Knowing things were going to get interesting in Glee, Blaine shows up early, not wanting to miss anything. The others all file in, grouped together and discussing whatever was the latest Gossip, Mr Schue being the last to arrive.
"So, as most of you know. Finn's mom is getting married. Now her and Fiance Burt, have asked if the New Directions will perform at the wedding. However to make things fair to Burt's son, they have also asked his school Glee Club to perform. So for two rehearsals a week, up until two weeks before the wedding where it will be four rehearsals a week, the Dalton Academy Warblers will be joining us. Please join me in welcoming them!" As Mr Schue finishes his speech, Blaine spots Nick and Jeff entering the room, followed by Beatz, Thad, Trent, David, Wes, Kurt and some new faces he doesn't recognise.
As they all Fan out, Blaines' friends all wear an evil smirk. Nick points to him as Jeff opens his mouth.
"There Right There!
Look at that tan, well-tended skin
Look at the killer shape he's in
Look at that slightly stubbly chin
Oh, please, he's gay, totally gay!"
Bliane realises what his boyfriend meant when he said about staking a claim. "Wankers. You complete Wankers" He murmurs, getting a funny look from Puck and Sam, who are sitting near him.
Thad takes over,
"I'm not about to celebrate
Every trait could indicate
A totally straight expatriate
This guy's not gay, I say not gay"
"That is the elephant in the room
Well, is it relevant to assume
That a man who wears perfume
Is automatically, radically fey?
But look at his coiffed and crispy locks
Look at his silk translucent socks
There's the eternal paradox
Look what we're seein'
What are we seein'?
Is he gay? (Of course he's gay!)
Or European!" The group sing together, with the newbies taking the individual lines, Thad claiming the last one. Figuring out what his friends were playing at, Blaine groans slightly as they all seem to advance on him, staring at him critically.
"Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or European?
Well, hey, don't look at me!
You see, they bring their boys up different
In those charming foreign ports
They play peculiar sports
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks
They both say things like "ciao bella"
While they kiss you on both cheeks (Oh, please)
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray
Depending on the time of day
The French go either way
Is he gay or European, or-"
Playing along, Blaine affixes a smirk to his face, as he sees Beatz prepare to take the next section.
"There! Right there!
Look at that condescending smirk
Seen it on every guy at work
That is a metro, hetero jerk
That guy's not gay, I say no way"
"That is the elephant in the room
Well is it relevant to presume
That a hottie in that costume
Is automatically, radically
Ironically, chronically
Certainly, flirtingly
Genetically, medically
Gay, officially gay
Swishily gay, gay, gay, gay
Damn it!" On the last line, Blaine makes sure to blow a kiss to Mercedes.
Before the next verse could start, Wes and David move into the risers to drag Blaine down to the middle of the group, almost as if they want to investigate it more.
"Gay or European?
So stylish and relaxed
Is he gay or European?
I think his chest is waxed
But they bring their boys up different there
It's culturally diverse
It's not a fashion curse
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code
Yeah, his accent is hypnotic
But his shoes are pointy-toed (Huh)"
They point out each bit, conferring amongst themselves as if he couldn't see or hear them.
"Gay or European?
So many shades of gray
But if he turns out straight
I'm free at eight on Saturday
Is he gay or European?
Gay or European?
Gay or Euro-"
Trent interrupts them, taking the next section.
"Wait a minute
Give me a chance to crack this guy
I have an idea I'd like to try"
"The floor is yours" Wes intones
"So, Mr. Anderson
This alleged affair with Miss Berry has been going on for...?"
"Two Months"
"And your first name again is?"
"Blaine"
"And your boyfriend's name is?"
"Kurt
I-I, sorry!
I misunderstand!
You say "boyfriend", I thought you say "best friend"
Kurt is my best friend"
At that line, the man in question pushes his way to the front of the group, false anger on his face.
"You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That's it, I no cover for you no more!
Peoples, I have a big announcement
This man is gay and European (Whoa!)
And neither is disgrace (Oh)
You gotta stop your bein'
A completely closet case (D'oh)
It's me, not her he's seeing'
No matter what he say
I swear he never, ever, ever swing the other way
You are so gay, you big parfait
You flaming one-man cabaret"
"I'm straight!"
"You were not yesterday
So if I may, I'm proud to say
He's gay (And European!)
He's gay (And European!)
He's gay (And European, and gay!)" All of the Warblers join in on the last section, prancing around the room.
"Fine. Okay, I'm Gay"
"Hooray!" Kurt spins and dips him, grinning.
The New directions start to clap and cheer for the Warblers as Kurt pulls Blaine back up to standing.
"You know I hate you guys sometimes."
"That's not what you said the other day B"
"Kurt!" Slightly scandalised at what his boyfriend was implying, Blaine turns red.
"How could you hate us Blainers?!" Nick and Jeff yell as they steal him from Kurts grip
"Let me go guys!"
"Friends of yours Blaine?" Mr Schue asks, as Blaine is dropped to the floor
"New Directions, Meet the Warblers. Idiots, the New Directions. The Idiots who dropped me are Jeff Sterling and Nick Duval, The two who dragged me from my seat are Wes Montgomery and David White. Then we have Thad Van Huesun, Trent King, Beatz and Finns soon to be step brother Kurt Hummel. I don't know the names of the rest. Sorry. Idiots. These are Rachel Berry, Quinn Fabray, Tina Cohen-Chang, Brittany Pierce, Santana Lopez , Lauren Zizes, Mercedes Jones, Noah Puckerman, Mike Chang, Artie Abrams, Sam Evans and Kurts' soon to be step brother Finn Hudson."
"Those who Blaine doesn't know the names of are Kris, Jordan, Michael, CJ, Harry, Mark, George and Charlie. They all joined this year. So Blaine doesn't know them."
"Blaine?" Rachel chimes in, looking critically at how he seemingly fit right in with the group of boys in a way that he had never achieved with the New Directions. "How do you know them all?"
"Well before the divorce I went to Dalton. I was a member of the Warblers. I've known Jeff, Nick, David, Thad, Trent and Wes since grade school. I met Kurt and Beatz in freshman year."
"You weren't just a member of the Warblers Blaine!" Wes exclaims, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "You were the Warblers. Blaine was our Lead singer. We all offered to chip in with his tuition after that wanker refused to continue paying it. But No!"
A scolding, "Calm down Wesley." comes from David, who lays a hand on the Lead councilman's back.
"As I was saying. I've been friends with this lot for most of my life. They're like a second family." A cough from his boyfriend makes Blaine change his former statement. Slinging his arm around Kurt, Blaine adjusts his statement. "Except Kurt. That would just be incestuous"
"Wait. You're Gay?"
"Seriously Man Hands. You didn't know?" Santanna turns to Rachel ready to ream her out.
"I just assumed he didn't want to duet with me out of respect for my relationship with Finn. It actually makes sense now I think about it. It also explains what his fight with Finn was about. Obviously Finn disapproved of Blaine being in close proximity to Kurt"
"No, actually it was because Finn used the F-slur in reference to Kurt."
"But we are all good now. Finn apologised and we moved past it." Kurt quickly interjects, seeing the glares his step brother seemed to be getting. "And anyway, Rachel was it? Blaine and I have been together longer than my father has been dating Finn's mother, so you can get those notions out of your head. Now seeing as we showed you our talent, maybe you could return the favour? Just so we know what we are working with."
"You just want to spy on us before sectionals"
"No sweetie. This wedding is a big deal for a number of us. That and only Headmaster Ryan knows who the Warblers will be competing against. We just get given a date, time and location. But, thank you for that information. Now are you going to perform or should Finn and I let our parents know that only the Warblers will be performing?" Laying his best 'Bitch Please' expression on his face, Kurt stood bored amongst the Warblers, seemingly paying more attention to Blaine's' hand than to the other choir.
"Cee Lo on three?" Finn asks, standing up and indicating for the others to do so. All but Rachel do.