But it seems the gods have another way.
There was no mercy in their act of terror. Konohammer had rabies. It was really bad. The ponytail girl was on a horse. The snot boy was not on a horse. Konohamaru was holding a bloody kunai. That's Japanese for knife. (Probably)
It was a dark stormy night, but for whatever reason it wasn't raining. It was just dark, cloudy, with crazy wind. And they look down at the man that Konohamaru just killed. A clean kill, but gruesome at that.
"Did you really have to kill him?" said the snot boy.
"Yeah, I feel like we could have let him go." said the ponytail girl.
"I admit I may have been careless. In fact, I think I did make a mistake."
Ponytail girl interrupted Konohamaru by saying "No you're right. We should have killed him. We should have killed him a long time ago. Like we should have found him, and like, went inside his house and then like just put an end right there."
Konohamaru and snot boy looked at ponytail girl, and in unison they both said "We have AIDS?"
Ponytail girl said "...What?"
Without a further moments notice, snot boy's pocket began to vibrate and ring. He looked down and put his hand into his left pocket pulling out an OG GameBoy. Except for whatever reason it was a phone and it had a light mod installed for the screen that was green.
He said "Oops! Gotta take this."
Snot boy pulled the GameBoy up to his face and, what I mean is he pulled it up to his ear, not his face.
Umm..
And he said "Hello, roger, roger."
Shikamaru was the voice on the other end of the phone.
"Snot boy. Ponytail girl. Konohamaru. How goes the mission?"
Snot boy sucked in a giant booger-and-snot-combo and said "Uh, everything's actually going pretty good. We are one day ahead of schedule, but I'm pretty sure we're still going to come in maybe like two days late because the next phase of movements are gonna probably get sidetracked depending on how the enemy behaves."
Shikamaru nodded. Of course, they couldn't see that because they were talking over a phone, GameBoy thing. Pretty sure Shikamaru was also just on a regular phone.
Anyway, Shikamaru said "Well I guess that's better than it going poorly."
Snot boy said "Yes."
Snot boy then hovered his hand over the A button. And by hand I mean thumb.
"Here Shikamaru let me put you on speaker."
"Oh no no no, don't do that!"
It was too late. He had pressed the A button. It was the speaker button.
Konohamaru said "Hey there Shikamaru."
Ponytail girl went "EEYYAHH OOH WAHAYAYWYEE"
Weird squeaks came out of her mouth. Everyone ignored it. Shikamaru gave a deep sigh.
He said "What a drag..." and then all three of them began to applaud.
Konohamaru said "Oh my god, he said the thing, he said the thing!"
Shikamaru said "Yes yes, settle down. Look, I was just talking to snot boy here about the mission, sounds like it might be a little late."
Konohamaru and ponytail girl looked at each other and both nodded.
And Konohamaru replied "The turtle eats the nest."
Shikamaru said "Wow I haven't heard that code name in a long time. Or code word, whatever it is."
Konohamaru said "We learned it in school so I thought I'd bring it up. Maybe it would make me sound smart."
Pony hair girl said "It makes you sound smart, it does."
Snot boy said in a really congested voice "Yeah, yeah Konohamaru, yeah it makes you sound smart."
Shikamaru said "My god Konohamaru, you're so smart, I'm taking my pants off. Just because I'm so scared of how smart you are."
Konohamaru was insulted. Shikamaru saying something so condescending to him, knowing that Konohamaru was just trying to liven up the conversation. He was pissed.
"Yeah well, you know what Shikamaru? I'm just gonna hang up the phone right now."
Circumference said "Fine. Do it. I dare you."
Konohamaru who said "Fine." and then Konohamaru stole the GameBoy out of snot boys hand and he clicked the B button.
There was a little moment of silence.
Snot boy was the first to speak up.
"Sure, that was the right idea?"
Konohamaru said "I don't really care. Let's just get a move on."
Snot girl, snot snot boy and hair pony girl looked at each other and nodded and they followed behind Konohamaru.
The next time that we saw the trio was when they had arrived at a tavern in the middle of the woods. The storm had calmed down much by now but there was still lingering dark clouds with a full moon in the sky piercing through the gaps.
Konohamaru stopped, turned around to face his partners and said "Looks like this is where we're going to be staying."
Snot boy and pony girl were having the same thought, sharing the same thought.
"It'll be nice to sleeping in a bed for once"
Pony hair girl said "I agree."
Konohamaru said "Well, let's just get to it. Hopefully they have some baths or something."
They all said "Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."
They walked in and that's the end of this part of the story,
6:16am 8/5/21