I am a newborn.

11th of my bloodline, I came to be within a family of settles, too powerful to be poor, too poor to be powerful, I'm the first male son born since we came to this blue marble, I draw my first lungful of air surrounded not by those who loved me, but by machines and chirurgeons, they examine my limbs and inwards in invasive ways, I cried and felt pain and fear and cold and... there is disapproval in their eyes, they found me...wanting.

I am mesmerized.

It was my 5th birthday when I finally could touch the sea, endless and all powerful, it covered most of the world my family now calls home, an azure blue of chaotic movement and repeating pattern that was engraved on my very being, my young mind couldn't comprehend its pattern but yet I was attracted to it, I could hear my name echoing just beneath the waves in a tone I thought impossible to hear.

That night, I dream of diving into that underverse as far as my breath could take, the currents guided me ever deeper to waters somehow destined to me and me alone, but the deeps were too dark and the water too cold, I wish that I could endure it, but I had not, the morning after, I awaken from this dream with the news that I was to embark in a strange ship destined to go beyond the horizon.

I am a student.

My father sent me out of our home world to study in the best school he could afford.

For the first time in my life, I could see my home world as it was with my own eyes, a vast blue marble with nine tenths of its surface covered by nothing but that impossible vast ocean.

Within this ship, harsh tutors and a personal physician was all that would keep me company and healthy, beyond them, everything was alien to me.

I am not enough.

In the capital of our sector, there were no second chances, students are expelled for every new test made, most of them are flogged in public before they marched out in disgrace of the Schola´s gates, I have no family or friends here, in this endless jungle of permacrete and plasteel, I am alone, the grays and neon lights of the hives ofends me, this place is made a chaotic order spawn from propaganda, fear and human flesh , an antonym of the sea that I so much miss, all I have are the endless trials and test made to take my measure, constant mental pressure threats to turn me into the sludge that rain down to the underhives below, my bed is my only respite in this trying days, but even in the comforts of the night I found no peace, as the same dream play again and again, I dream that I dive again into my ocean, but now, I delve too deep into the sea, I cannot reach the surface, there was no air within my lungs, and I'm almost giving in to despair.

I am blessed!

I found the answers that I needed, in my dreams I saw a lighthouse, impossible vast and golden, its purer light pierce the dark waters, illuminating the deeps of the ocean and filling it with teeming life, now I could read the text written upon its tides and hear the music of its patterns, kaleidoscopic fishes fetch me bottled messages left adrift with fragments of wisdom long thogth lost, with an eternal patience, they teach me all that I needed to know, there was no question the Schola's teachers made me I couldn't answer and no trail that was hard to me now, but the booms of the sea goes even beyond, in the sea's floor, I found treasure chests and spoils of wars ready for the plunder, within the safes and chests we not jewelry and gold, but libraries of fates and counter-fates that were now mine to learn, I became master of the present, and student of the future.

I am cursed!

The eyes of envy felt upon me, they denounce me as an impostor and a cheater, the masters of this world had their children flogged because of me, as they couldn't keep up with my connection to the ocean and fell from grace from the Schola, now they demmanded my head in justice for their disgrace, they put me in trial and found me cursed! Those jealous zealots condemned my bloodline for not giving me up to the Black Ships, and now they had to suffer for their crimes.

The lords of the schola wanted me burned at the stake, I dreaded the flames with all my heart and could feel the fire already touching my skin, but that wasn't to be my fate, they would make me into a tool, my family's name would be erased, their faces unremembered, their deeds expunged, their glories unsung, and we all were simply... forgotten.

I am a servitor.

Blinded by light and deaf by the noise, they made me a living part of a machine I knew nothing of, were once I learn of politics and history, now the only lessons given to me were about pain and suffering, my mind was bombarded with bureaucracies and paperwork day and night, a flood of orders and instructions was processed by my brain every single moment, sleep was impossible, and thus the sea couldn't come to me, I saw myself in the moments of the deepest deliriums down the ocean floor in utter darkness, crushed and forgotten, left to be picked apart by the scavanges that hide in the ligthless deeps.

Here, time passed with the speed of mountains, but it passed, eventually, I discover myself not alone in this hell, but one within a circle of damned souls that join fate with me, I could see their shapes and silhouettes against the darkness of this lightless ocean, all linked within this torturous machine, forever bound to serve and to pay for their sins.

I am... Something.

I discover myself capable of taking over the hollow husks of those who were trapped within the same machine as me, the burden of concentration found in relaying the capital's orders is lessened the more husks I control, some of those trapped asked to be part of this new whole between their mental screams of pain and collapse of consciousness, others resisted and even tried to fight against me, but eventually, they merge nonetheless, finding in me peace for their torment, the pain was now a mild discomfort and in time, it became nothing.

My original body that carried me to this inferno was long gone, replaced like another component in the machine but yet I remained here, the poor soul that was the replacement of my old body soon join me as well, I became more than the sum of those husks, I made this machine work in unison, in perfect synchronicity within itself, before, the torrential amount of data I had to process was akin to a titanic tsunamis that dragged whole cities to the oceans, but now, was droplets of rain in the calm ocean I reside.

Technicians and priests take care of phisical parts, calling me blessed and holy when they refer to my being, or the machine, in truth, I could tell anymore where the machine ends, and I start. In fact, I question what I am, a servitor? A machine? Pulses within circuitry, the sum of my tasks fulfilled, a frustrated nobleman, an officer that fell from grace, a scholar, a factory worker, an enforcer, a heretic, a priest, a discontent, a thing, a mutant, a scum, a savior, a man? Something lesser or...something greater? Whatever is that I am now, one thing still persists, a thing that was so primordial to me that even now it was present in my mind, the nostalgia of the ocean.

I am enlightened.

I don't merely relay information anymore, I learn, adapt, and I became more, I know now that I was here for at least 300 years, and was my task to relay orders and news to the entirety of this sector, I know the names of all the 48 inhabited planets, 35 temporary colonies and the 143 space installations within the border of this sector, I know their histories, current rulers, noble families, all public, private and classified informations, with pain and effort of my part, I turn all I learn into a grand compilation of mine, the most cohesive and complete reservoir of knowledge that exist within this sector.

Many were those that tried to breach my valts of knowledge, none came close to accessing it and none lived to have a second chance, this library of mine was compiled to serve me and me alone with a single purpose in mind, to find again my homeworld and to bring me back to the ocean I soo much craved for.

I am exploring.

Not myself physically, but with careful study, small changes in budgets and the rearrangement of several minor personnel, I manage to create my own exploration fleet, mostly made of retrofitted civilian vessels, pirate ships still fuming with plasma trails and exposed hulls and three proper military ships.

The state of the disrepair of the local battle fleet is deplorable and the incompetence of those I had to relay the orders made wandering by this sector a dangerous proposition at best, my expedition depart port with a slim chance of achieving its objective, but I did my best with what I had and with those under my command, I sailed the stars veiled not by their distance, but by incompetence and neglect, tens of thousands of worlds were surveyed by my crew, many rich and still uninhabited, others covered in abundant archeotech still to be plundered while entire worlds starved to make the noblemen of the sector capital ever so fat and ever so rich, using my fleet, I saved entire worlds from logistical apocalypses and put several others back to the map, in the 50th year of the expedition, it finally succumbed to the fire of aggressive xenos and renegade pirates, much of the knowledge was salvaged, but there are still no trace of my dear blue marble, judging by the remains of destroyed worlds in the fleet's wake, I fear that my home world was lost in this uncaring galaxy.

I am ready.

Many sectors of bureaucratic nightmares were unmade, entire logistical chains had to be created, booming colonies I turned into hive worlds to supply the manpower for my projects, cults and uprisings were fostered and cultivated in several key-worlds, their news I whisper to agents of the inquisition, the populations of those worlds sacrificed in the cyclonic storms that cracked their world apart as exterminatus was declared, their exposed liquid cores laid the foundation to several industrial and forgeworlds to feast upon, archeotech was excavated and their secrets I showed to the red priest of Mars who heard my words as holy revelations.

Gas giants were seeded with gene tailored floating plants, their havasted would quench the hunger of untold trillions, wars were waged and the tales of several generals exaggerated, misinformations and altered records made dozens of those figure-heads into imperial saints, consecrating nearly settled colonies into shrine worlds, bringing the wealth of the imperial church and the presence of the adeptas sororitas to this corner of the galaxy.

Adeptus astartes founded their fortress monasteries across my civilized worlds, their oaths of eternal servitude and dedication to the defense of this sector inspiring ever greater deeds of zealotry and bravery from the common man.

The god engines of the Schola Titanica now walk upon my worlds, some came relocated from across the galaxy to guard this bastion of civilization, many others excavated from the ruins left of the Old Night and restored to a measure of their former glory, their mandibles grew in game and power as they extinguish many xeno races and mutant empires that lurks in the edges of the stars.

A entire red dwarf was warped around concentric rings of steel to harvest energy and material solely to fuel its dry docks and shipyards, continent-sized resorts were built upon those rings to house the ever expanding Navigator´s houses, those engineered humans saw their talents in soo high demand as brand new void behemoths take flight every single year from its void docks, tasked with the monumental dury to extinguish the xeno and pirates at once from mine sector.

And after half millenia of shadowed guidance and the consolidation of all the infrastructure I needed, I shall launch my hundred vessel´s strong exploration fleets in the shroud of secrecy, armered with venerable vesses, hundreds of thousands of regiments, veteran astartes, several branches of the mechanicums and even some maniples of several titan legions, all with the same secret mission, to find my dear blue marble and take me home.

I am tired.

This machine is falling, this sector is growing beyond me every day, before, the few dozen worlds under the incompetence of those of the capital sector was a trivial thing to manage, but now, seven billion-billion of souls called for leadership, tera-tons of materials clogged the main warp lanes, the logistical bailey that I could possibly manage is at the edge, this place is growing faster than I can adapt, they call this sector ''The Galactic Doorway'', ''The Blessed Presto'' or even ''Ultima-mar'' but to me is a growing nightmare, entire hive worlds-worth of noble buffoons boosted about the glories I gave them, Legions of Lord Generals claimed the honor of winning the battles that I fought, Admechs ascend into the hierarchies of Mars boasting about the discoveries I made and the Imperium fight wars with the armies that I summoned.

After I would be gone, none would ever notice that I had even existed, there will be no statues of me, as none alive knows my posture, there will be no paintings of me, as they would never know my face, there will be no tales about me, as neither me nor anybody remembers my name.

I wonder how many others had a similar fate? How many random souls were strapped into one of those machines like I am, how many of those rules from the shadows? Free from human ambition and pride, free from the frailties of the man's mind, free from the shackles of body and time, is the Imperium ruled by those of flesh, or those such as I?

I am home.

Today, after almost a millennia of absence, I am finally home, my fleet finally arrived at their destination, after searching for it across a quarter million stars and at three times more wolds, after 190 years of battle, pain and strive, I couldn´t belive myself when I finaly found what I was looking for.

A system was located within sub-sector 997-61 at the Imperial date of 735.M41, at the very edge of our sector, the last planet of our galaxy.

I recognized the pattern of revolving seas as soon as the macro pict feeds of my ships captured the image, it was my home world, abandoned, but alive and healthy, I didn't resist and assume direct control of several explores during their journey to the surface, the white clouds above danced like children at the flavor of the seven winds, I steep bare foot upon the beach, I close my eyes, savoring the hot grains of sand that slowly covered my feet as I pressed it against the soft grounds below, the wind passed by me with the touch of silk and the lips of the most caring of lover, the smell of the sea was sweet with the blossom of a immense variety of underwater vegetation, its chemical composition so well tuned to my nose that no essence-crafter could make a more fine perfume.

I open my eyes, tears quietly making their way to the sand, the visage was the sum of all the poetic descriptions of home and peace that I knew was manifest, standing here, true happiness, once thought expunged from my being resurge at the sight of such complete embrace, I ran to the sea, all the caution that came of centuries of shadowy guidance was banish to the deepest recesses of my mind.

I bathe in that most holy of oceans, I drank mouthfuls of that salt water, danced and jumped at its waves and let myself loose in the arms of that sea that gave me so much and ask nothing in return.

In the embrace of my dearest blue friend, I could finally understand the wave patterns of my homeworld, the orderly chaos, the hidden message engraved within the waters, when I was whole again, the images and patterns triggered a memory buried beneath a hundred million lifetimes, an intrinsic part of myself long thought lost resurface like a ancient leviathan from the deepest oceanic trench, my home and I shared the same name.

Both baptized by my father, cherished by my family, cast into the oceanic void to be forgotten by the same incompetent hands, both incapable of existing without each other, calling and yering for each other´s company, and now we are reunited again, we are soo intrisinc linked that I couldn´t forget it and now I know it didn´t forgot me also, I am this planet, and this planet is me.

I am Tyran.