Chapter 1

"I know what I want, Meredith. Only you, and our children. As many children as you want."
"Two isn't enough, Derek? You want more!"
"I want you, Meredith, I want to live with you until we're old and crusty - to cradle you in my arms until one of us dies. And if you give me the precious gift of another child, I'll cherish and love it, just as much as Zola and Bailey."

Meredith rolled over and entwined her arms through Derek's. Snuggling into his neck, she sighed.
"These moments with you ... are gifts from Heaven. I feel so peaceful, so loved. All my hospital worries fade into nothing. My meaning for living is you - and your children. Truly? Another baby? Well, why not?"

She giggled happily. Finally, her life was falling into place. Derek was actually happy and contented. He had missed the three of them - he really was longing for a family life. He'd devotedly watch ballet recitals and baseball games, operate on tumours, perform ground-breaking surgery and save lives. He had tasted the life in DC, and it wasn't for him.

Meredith was delighted. In the back of her head there had been some small flickers of guilt, tiny, but there all the same.
Cristina, who was her person and best friend, had offered her advice when Meredith was deciding whether she would go with Derek to work on the President's project.
"You are the sun, Meredith," Cristina had said. "Not Derek."

Meredith pondered on the sun for a while. Exactly what did she want, if she was the sun at the centre of the universe? Cristina already knew what she desired above all else; a career in cardio thoracics, her hands on hearts, and a meteoric rise to the top of her field.

Meredith, on the other hand wanted to be a great surgeon, although in which specialty, she was still unsure. But she also yearned for a family, even though she had precious little knowledge of how families worked. She craved love, without quite understanding what she was yearning for. Her parents had been atrocious role models. She would have been given an equivalent position in DC, and the children were too young to be greatly affected by the move, but in all honesty, she simply didn't want to go.

Meredith had spent many nights questioning her decision; a career and a life in Seattle, or her husband in DC. If she was to be the sun, then it was simple; she had to stay. Either, or. One or the other. But the sun, what did it mean exactly? Didn't it mean living the life which would give her the greatest fulfilment? Then she should go to DC with Derek and the children, because she loved Derek. She adored Derek; she would give her life for him.

But what about Cristina's advice? She has supported me and been my friend since our first day as interns. She's smart and she doesn't let anything get in her way. She thinks I should stay in Seattle. And my other friends; I don't want to leave them either. And the kids have friends here. Why should I uproot my career, just because Derek wants to further his career?

And so Meredith stayed in Seattle, and Derek went to work for the President. They didn't part on the best of terms, but despite her unhappiness, Meredith managed to care for the children and work long hours at the hospital. She missed Derek terribly, but she soldiered on.

Derek's time in DC came to a head when he was tempted to have a relationship with a young woman, who kissed him. This incident precipitated Derek's decision to come home to Meredith and their children. He arrived in Seattle late at night and confessed to Meredith that he'd been sorely tempted to begin an affair with the young doctor.

Despite the upsetting circumstances, Meredith believed him; believed him when he told her that he really wanted to be a family man.
"I can live without you, Derek, but I don't want to," Meredith said, and the two fell into each other's arms.

*******
"Shall we go again?" chuckled Derek.
He pulled Meredith even closer, softly kissing her cheeks and stroking his fingers through her long, blonde hair. He nuzzled her hair, delighted by its floral scent.
"We could make a baby tonight. A new baby, a housewarming gift for our new life together," he whispered huskily. Meredith didn't answer. She was enjoying his touches too much to speak. Her lips opened and her warm breath met Derek's.
God, I love him. Everything about him is perfect.
Her breath quickened as he gently caressed her, whispered sweet words of endearment, which tantalised her senses, and drew her ever closer into a world of bliss. The pure pleasure, that only those who passionately love each, will ever experience.

********
Derek left early the following morning for DC to resign from the President's program and wind up his paperwork.
"Wait for me," he called to Meredith, and she sighed happily. A new start for them. They had been through so much together, endured so many setbacks. At last, their happy future was within their grasp.