DISCLAIMER: Characters of Veronica Mars, any recognizable dialogue, and the canon events of their storyline belong to Rob Thomas.

A/N:

An AO3 reader asked the other day when they might expect a new chapter of my WeeVer series. So you can thank them for the fact that I took some time this weekend to pull this one-shot from my "Ideas" folder.

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Set mid-Season 1, after #1.10 "An Echolls Family Christmas."

See A/N at the end for an update on Learning (Along the Road – Part 4).

Weevil POV

Back in 7th grade, I made out with this girl named Lani. One time. That's it. Never again. I wasn't exactly interested in her, even at the time. But I was 12, almost 13 … and she was one of those girls who … um, developed early.

But if I could have a do-over of that day, I wouldn't have given her a second look.

Since that day, she's had a thing for me. I'm not talking about a typical crush. And it's gotten worse over the years. The past few months, she's been obsessed. I'm talking crazy stalker mode.

For a while, it was emails and phone calls letting me know that she was still interested in me. Then, she started coming up to me at school or in the neighborhood. She's been throwing herself at me, making offers that most guys would never turn down.

The thing is … I've got no interest in her. Not then, and not now. Tried to politely decline her offers – which keep getting more and more explicit. But she seems convinced that she can wear me down if she's persistent.

Finally, the other day, I couldn't take it anymore. And this was what fell out of my mouth: "I have a girlfriend."

She stared at me for a few seconds, shocked by my words. Then, she said, "I don't believe you."

"Not that I owe you an explanation, but we decided to keep it a secret."

After she walked away, I noticed that a few of my boys were within hearing distance.

In quick succession, they asked:

"For real?"

"Since when do you have a girlfriend?"

"Who?"

I just glared at them until they stopped asking questions.

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That night, I had trouble getting to sleep, trying to figure out how I was gonna handle the monstrous lie I had told.

By morning, I decided I needed to enlist some help. I drove over to Veronica's apartment building and waited by her car in the parking lot.

Although she must have been surprised to see me, she played it off like this was a planned meeting.

"What can I do for you this fine morning?"

"I need a favor, V."

"I should really start my own drinking game."

"I'd feel bad about asking this … if, you know, your reputation was still pristine … but since the things people say about you aren't a whole lot better than what people think of me …"

"You're digging yourself a pretty deep hole there, Weevil."

"Yeah, there's not really a good way to ask something like this."

"Getting deeper by the second."

"It's just that I need a girl who's willing to—"

"What exactly are you asking me to do?"

I chuckled at the implication, and then I proceeded to explain the Lani situation.

"So, she's offering to … what?"

"Be on call for … basically whenever and whatever I might want. Which, by the way, is nothing. From her anyway."

"Why not? Seems like an offer any teenage boy would jump at … or jump on."

"Not my type. And I may be a lot of things, V, but well … taking advantage of a girl like that … not my style."

"She really won't take no for an answer?"

"Her offers keep getting bigger. And honestly, it bothers me to watch her lower herself like that."

"So, this is some twisted form of chivalry then?"

"Call it whatever you want … just tell me you'll help me."

"I'm gonna need some time to think about this. I mean what you're suggesting … for it to work, we'd essentially be lying to the whole school, the PCHers, potentially your family." She took a breath before continuing, "And what do I tell my dad? If we were just dealing with her, I'd probably say yes pretty quickly. But—"

"Yeah. I know, V. It's a big ask. Thanks for at least hearing me out."

[

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The next day at school, I was at my locker. Lani came up to me and started laying it on thick – touching my arm, rubbing up against me, using a seductive tone of voice as she repeated all her previous offers.

Removing her hands from my arm, I stepped away from her, "I told you, I'm seeing someone."

"If that's true, then tell me who she is! Otherwise, I'm going to assume you're lying 'cause I never see you with anyone."

Before I could respond to her, I heard someone clear their throat and say, "Either you tell her, or I will."

I turned around to find Veronica standing behind me. Surprised does not begin to describe how I felt at that moment. Not only had I not known she was there, she hadn't told me if she'd help me.

Lani seemed surprised too. "What is she talking about? Does she know who you're dating?"

Looking at V, I watched as she gave a small, slow nod. I had no idea where this conversation was headed. And damn, that made me nervous.

"Well, one of you better start talking!" Lani screamed at the top of her lungs.

"You're gonna let her talk to you like that?!" V asked me just before she stepped between Lani and me. Facing Lani, she said in a tone that was scary as hell, "You should back away. Now."

Lani did not seem scared, although she should have been. "And I should listen to you … why?"

V did not hesitate in stating her answer: "Because I'm his girlfriend."

And just like that, all movement and sound stopped in the hallway. We'd had the attention of a few people due to Lani's tantrum, but now we had a sizable audience.

Lani looked past V and said to me, "She's not serious, is she?!"

I leaned forward and wrapped an arm around V's waist. "Yeah, she is." Then, I reached up with my other arm so that I could turn her head toward me. I was silently asking a million questions with my eyes. The first question being: Will you punch me if I kiss you right now?

Thank God, V's good at reading people. A second later, she closed the distance between our lips.

A few more seconds later, I heard Lani stomp away.

Then, V turned around in my arms. "Guess we should talk … since this just went public."

We headed into the girls' bathroom. She put the "out of order" sign on the door and put the doorstop in place. Then she walked to the middle of the room but did not turn around to face me.

I stood there, looking at her back, trying to read the situation. "So … it seems like you made a decision, V. Any reason you didn't tell me first?"

"Actually, I had decided I was gonna tell you no. But then I overheard her. I just … I don't know …"

"Couldn't take it anymore? Needed to do anything to make her stop?"

"Yeah."

"Welcome to my world, V."

"Guess we're gonna need a game plan." She finally turned to face me.

"We can figure out the details of when and how we break up later, but for now, we should agree on how long this has been going on."

"A month?"

"How about two?"

"Troy left almost two months ago. So maybe we got together right after that?

"And that's why you offered to help me get my poker winnings back?"

"Wow … that … and now this. You are gonna owe me!"

"Yeah. I already know that."

"No. I mean huge. You owe me huge."

"So now that people know about us … and I'm sure it has spread like wildfire while we've been in here … How are we gonna act in front of people?"

"As in … are you gonna hold my hand, carry my books, and walk me to class?"

"Not exactly my style."

"Yeah, I know. In fact, she's right. I don't think I've ever seen you with a girl."

"How about the occasional ride to school, kiss in the parking lot, meet at our lockers a couple times a day, maybe sit on my lap at lunch—"

"Let's not get crazy here. But yeah, I guess I can deal with some of that." The gears in her head continued to turn. "I'm gonna have to tell Wallace the truth."

"As long as he can keep his mouth shut."

"And my dad."

"Why does he even need to know about this?"

"He'll find out. Trust me. And it's better if I'm the one who tells him."

I said, "Guess we should get going," just before I stepped toward her. I took her face in my hands and gave her a long, slow kiss – making sure to rake my hands through her hair.

When I broke the kiss a couple minutes later, she asked, "What was that for?"

"Nobody's gonna believe we were in here all that time just talking. Now you look … like you've been hanging out in the bathroom with your boyfriend."

V took a look in the mirror, smoothing her hair and touching up her lip gloss.

Standing behind her, I leaned to whisper in her ear, "For the record, I like the flavor."

"Good. I'm glad." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

I laughed as I stepped back from her. "We need to meet at some point to figure out the rest."

"Like how long does this charade go on?"

"And who breaks up with who."

"Clearly, I'll be breaking up with you."

"Not so clear to me, V."

"And you'll be heartbroken for months, unable to look at another girl."

I nodded slowly in understanding. "Yeah, okay, I see where you're going with this. Maybe. Let me think about it. We could always do a mutual breakup."

She handed me a hall pass and then opened the door.

I slipped an arm around her as we walked down the hallway toward her locker. After she got the book for her next class, I pulled her toward me and said, "See ya at lunch." Then, I placed a kiss at her temple as I whispered a sincere "thank you" in her ear.

As I watched her turn and walk away from me, I realized how much I was going to enjoy pretending to be her boyfriend.

A/N:

Marking this as a one-shot. However, I do have some thoughts as to how this one could continue: Leo enters in #1.11 "Silence of the Lamb" which would give an opportunity for Weevil to become jealous … and perhaps the fake relationship eventually becomes real.

After my Along the Road series is complete, I will probably look back at all my WeeVer one-shots and decide which one(s) I might continue. Reader interest (reviews, favorites, follows) will be part of my decision-making process.

As for Learning (Along the Road – Part 4) … My sincerest apologies for the delay. I had no intention to leave you hanging for this long. The truth is that with everything going on, I have had trouble getting my head back into that story. I hope I'll have a new chapter(s) for you in a month or so.

Hope all of you are safe & well!

Until next time …

~Jen

12 September 2021