Anything to Keep Her
Summary: When you've given up all hope, you'll do anything to keep her.
Edward watched with a smile as Bella danced around his kitchen, cooking something that smelled delicious and singing along with the music playing in the background. Although he told her repeatedly he didn't expect her to cook for him, she shrugged it off as just "whipping something up." He didn't know how she was able to make a meal out of the meager supplies in his cabinets and fridge, but it was always amazing. One of the perks of dating an up-and-coming chef, she often teased him.
Bella was beautiful, funny, intelligent, and sexy as hell, and he was so fucking lucky she was here with him. They'd met only three months ago, at the engagement party of his younger brother and her best friend. How they hadn't met prior to Emmett and Rose's party, he'd never know; they had since discovered how close they'd come to crossing paths on at least a dozen occasions.
He'd been shocked to discover she was unattached, even more so that she was interested in him. They'd exchanged numbers that night, gone on their first date the next, and had been seeing each other steadily ever since. Their schedules were crazy and oftentimes didn't mesh; Bella worked most nights, and Edward during the day. Luckily Chicago had all kinds of places to go at all hours of the day and night, and they had some of the most interesting dates as a result.
Edward focused on the sway of Bella's hips as she really got into the song. While he liked music and generally enjoyed the melody, rhythm, and tempo, he rarely listened to the lyrics. It was just background noise to him; it didn't speak to his soul the way it did to others. The way it did to her. Bella didn't just enjoy music; it all but consumed her. It was a beautiful thing, and he loved watching and listening to her as she would abandon herself to it.
He liked to tease her about her crazy collection of music from all genres, from old-timey 50's and 60's crooners to suggestive rap and hip hop, to the head-bangers and hair bands of 80's rock, to her inexplicable love of all eras of country music. This song fell somewhere between country and pop, more melancholy than her usual up-tempo choices. He focused on the words, his smile slowly disappearing as he felt convicted by each and every line that fell from her sweet lips.
If I told you all the stupid things I've done
I've blamed on being young
But I was old enough to know I know
Those lyrics brought him back to last week's conversation with Emmett, who was more than a little concerned about Edward's relationship with his fiancée's best friend.
"Have you told her yet, man?" Emmett asked.
Edward shook his head, looking down at his nearly empty glass. "No Em, I haven't. Not yet. I know I gotta; I just can't."
"You're damn right you gotta tell her, Ed," Emmett told him somberly. "She deserves to know, and she deserves to hear it from you. And soon."
Edward nodded; Emmett wasn't telling him anything he didn't already know. Bella deserved the truth.
"Earth to Edward, where are you, babe?" Bella's voice broke through his thoughts. He looked up to find her standing before him, playfully waving a spatula to get his attention. Her gaze went from playful to concerned, and she set her spatula down to reach up and cup his cheek with her hand. "Hey, are you okay?" she asked, her dark brown eyes clouding with worry.
Edward felt like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest, his breathing shallow. Was this a panic attack? He felt like he was going to pass out. Emmett was right—he had to come clean with her. She deserved the truth, and he was being a fucking coward by withholding it from her. He gulped a deep breath and closed his eyes, praying to whatever deity might be listening for courage. His voice was gruff and filled with emotion as the words tumbled out. "I love you, Bella."
Bella's eyes went wide with surprise and then filled with tears as the words sunk in, and she smiled the most brilliant smile he'd ever seen. "Oh Edward, I love you too, so much!" she said breathlessly, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a sweet kiss.
Edward kissed her back, passionately and with a hint of desperation. God, he was such an asshole. He did love her with all his heart; that was absolutely true. But he hadn't meant to tell her that, not yet; not until he'd told her the truth about himself, about his past. She deserved that truth first, to make up her own mind about him and the kind of man he was, and he'd selfishly taken that away.
But it was too late now—now that he knew she loved him back. Well, he'd do anything to keep her love. And if that meant she could never learn the truth, then so be it.