Disclaimer: I'm just borrowing the characters from Avatar: The Last Airbender by Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzk. All credits go to them.
Title: Evanescent
Summary:
"Are you a princess?"
She didn't even know why but maybe it's because she's sick of the world making fun of her. So, in turn, she tried to make a fool out of him.
Toph smirked at the kid.
"If I am. Would you kneel in front of me?"
ev·a·nes·cent
/ˌevəˈnes(ə)nt/
adj.
- Soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence.
- Lasting only for a brief moment.
Synonyms: vanishing, fading, disappearing.
"She would often watch the sky's tempest with an aloof expression. It feels as though she's witnessing one of those evanescent dreams unfold—when daylight breaks all she remembers is that distant sense of nostalgia."
It started very slowly.
With Toph randomly noticing the first subtle change in her vision during their math class. She realizes that the writings on the blackboard appear a little fuzzier than she remembered. It's quite peculiar. Suddenly, everything around her looks a little unfocused.
She ignored it.
And just simply asks her teacher if she could move a few seats ahead to get a better view.
But then Toph's condition continued taking over her, day by day, week by week.
One afternoon, Toph found herself lost in a sea of blurry faces. Barely recognizing her butler if it weren't for that golden flying-boar insignia pinned on his suit. Which she spent a great amount of time tracing before coming along with him. That was also the day Toph started paying attention to people's voices rather than their physique.
Her misery didn't end at that.
No.
Quite the opposite, her suffering has just begun.
Shortly after, Toph started having trouble walking. She kept tripping due to her inability to clearly see objects that are in front of her. Even those that are large in size. Often, she finds herself bumping against people. They did not find it funny. And nor did she. There's nothing entertaining about discovering fresh bruises on her skin.
Going to school began being a pain in the ass. Well, it already is. But back then Toph is just bored out of her wits. Nowadays, she's bored and struggling to see anything that's going on in front of the class. Her playmates also dwindled down in numbers until there was none. Slowly, the children at the playground avoided her. They say they no longer want her in their team because of her unreliability.
But Toph is stubborn.
She decided to remain silent about it.
Enduring her condition for as long as she could because she refuses to let her parents know that something's wrong with their daughter. Toph didn't like the idea of voicing out her problems. For her, there's power in words. If she says it out loud, she's making her disability official.
Toph didn't want to acknowledge anything.
Not even the fact that writing her name on the back of her notebook is becoming harder and harder as days flew by.
Until that one particular accident happen.
That was the tipping point.
One night when they went to watch the theater, Toph fell down the stairs startling a small crowd of people. She missed a step despite being careful. The dim lights provided little aid to her poor vision. As she was standing up, wincing in pain because she scraped the skin on her legs, Toph stole a glance at her father's worried face.
She knew.
Toph needs to do what has to be done: confess.
That was the end of her secret.
On a hot, humid morning in August, Toph Beifong was slap by the brutal, unforgiving reality of life. She knew what was coming. Still, it hurts to hear the truth. They were in an ophthalmologist's office when it happened. The doctor asked for her and her parent to sit down before he broke the news.
Toph is losing her sight.
"I'm going blind?"
Yes… yes, you are. The doctor said. I'm very sorry.
"Why… How did it happen?"
It was genetic. They checked her family's medical record and they do indeed have a history of blindness. Toph's optic nerves are deteriorating at a very fast rate for someone her age. Her brain is having trouble receiving signals needed for sight.
"How long before my daughter completely loses her vision?"
Two to three years at most.
"Is there anything we could do?"
Unfortunately, Toph's condition is much more related to the neurological system; There is no known cure.
The ophthalmologist was very patient with them, answering their questions for over an hour with a calm, placating voice. He even gave them a little pamphlet before they left, it contains information on where to go and what to do in order to adjust to their new lifestyle. A small, tiny leaflet. Just like the ones the students hand out during school festivals to encourage people to visit their booths. Once they're back in the confinement of their home, Toph ripped apart that damned piece of paper.
That night, none of them had any decent sleep.
Toph's mother spent the whole evening weeping while her father on the other hand tried his best to comfort his wife. Toph stayed awake too, listening to the quiet echoes of her mother's wretched sobs resonate back and forth down the hallway.
The following day, they purchased her a pair of glasses.
Something that they need to replace every other month to keep up with her eye's rapid change in prescriptions.
A year later, Toph found a cane laying on her bed.
Just in case.
Her mother says.
Then after another six months of watching his daughter struggle, her father finally hired Toph's first home care worker. Her name is Sally. Sally is a hard-working woman who has two children depending on her. She too is very patient. She helps Toph get dressed, assists Toph as she eats, and is even required to attend Toph's class to help take notes about the lessons as her patient tries to figure out a new way to absorb knowledge without her sight.
Toph's classmates stared.
Of course.
Even though they try to pretend not to, Toph can feel their gaze and hear their passing remarks. And as she stares at the printed letters on her textbook through her glasses, Toph silently mourns the end of her privacy.
She was only twelve.
And Toph is already sick and tired of living.
The most tragic thing about her blindness is that people around her are much more uncomfortable with it than Toph herself.
She's not completely blind yet.
Her eyes are still in the process of losing her sight but they act as if she already lost it.
The servants and her peers would tiptoe around her. Treating Toph as if she's a porcelain doll that could break anytime.
The worst offenders however are her parents.
They are much more devastated about Toph's condition than their daughter.
Her mother and father pushed her to see more doctors. Lots and lots of them. They tested various things about her. Her blood. Her urine. Her muscles. They even made her sit on an electric chair to zap her with electric currents for a series of tests. But all of her biopsies returned with the same results: Nothing's wrong except for that the implications that Toph's condition is indeed a neurological problem.
When the medical world disappointed them, her mother turned to non-scientific remedies. Tarot cards, gems, stones, and some other bullshit that she thinks gonna heal her daughter.
Hence the reason why Toph is standing outside a Buddist monastery.
Her mother is inside along with her father.
Praying.
Hoping for some kind of miracle.
Toph doesn't need a miracle.
What she needs is for people to accept the reality of her situation.
One day she will wake up blind. End of the story. There's nothing they could do about it. So they should stop dehumanizing her with their sympathy.
Toph doesn't want nor need anybody's pity.
She glanced at their bodyguards and found them talking amongst themselves. A sigh left Toph. She's really, really bored and the people she came here with sucks. She jumps off the porch and walks around the courtyard. Watching her steps as she avoids the brick lines on the pavement to entertain herself. It was an activity she used to perform with ease. Now, she could barely distinguish the patterns on the ground. Unknowingly, Toph strays further and further from her previous location.
She was in deep thought when she felt a raindrop kiss her cheek.
Toph looked up to find that dark clouds are indeed hanging above the city. A stripe of lightning flashed. Followed by a roar of thunder. Gently, the rain began pouring.
Why is the sky so whimsical?
Just a moment ago, Toph could've sworn that the sun almost melted the world with how hot and humid their surrounding is, now that fucking shinny ball of gas is hiding somewhere behind that thick blanket of grey clouds.
With her journey being abruptly halted, the young lady sought refuge under a dilapidated waiting shed and glared at the dark sky through the tinted lenses of her sunglasses as if she could intimidate the rain and make it go away.
Once the rain comes falling down there's no stopping it.
Her mother often says that whenever there's a downpour.
Even so, Toph refused to yield.
For a very long moment, she kept scowling at the dark sky. Because maybe, just maybe, this time the world would let her win and bend over her will.
As one might expect, nothing happened.
Defeated, Toph looks around. Propping back her sunglasses on her head, pushing back most of the fringe from her forehead save for a few rebellious wisps of raven locks, to get a better look at her surrounding.
Oh no.
She's lost.
Which way did she come from again? She's not sure. Cause when you're legally blind everything looks like blots of random colors and shapes. Except they're a lot dimmer and fuzzier. As if she's constantly peering at the world through a fogged window during rainy days.
"Are you a princess?"
Toph blinks.
Once.
Then twice.
Before turning to the direction where that gentle voice came from with a blank look. She was greeted by a blurry image of a boy crouching low in the bushes across the road. She heard a subtle rustling of leaves. His face became a bit clearer as he shuffles closer.
He was smiling.
Stupidly.
"Are you a princess?"
He repeated.
She didn't know why but maybe it's because she's sick of the world making fun of her. So, in turn, she tried to make a fool out of him. The impassive expression on her face morphed into a mischievous one. She doesn't like being called princess but that's not going to stop her from making fun of someone who would ludicrously mistake her as one.
Toph smirked at the kid.
"If I am. Would you kneel in front of me?"
She was expecting him to get mad or at least be displeased by her attitude. Perhaps she could chase him off with just one brash query. To her dismay, her words only made the grin on his face shine brighter.
"Great!"
He beamed.
Jumping out of his hiding place as he gleefully skips to where she is. Without hesitation, he grabbed her hand. He didn't kneel in front of her. Regrettably. Instead, he dragged her somewhere and by some kind of miracle, Toph found herself permitting him to whisk her away. Without a fight. Before she knew it, he had already brought her to a secluded area. Deep inside the forest, away from the trail people frequently used, and with no adult supervising them on top of that. In short, it was pretty dope.
Both of them are now mildly drenched, the hems of her light green dress muddy and torn from getting caught on some branches that are hanging low. They'd been walking aimlessly for a while now. Or so she thought until they stopped in front of a gigantic tree where a small, rickety treehouse is perched on its thick branches.
"I finally found a warrior princess."
He announces to no one in particular as he lets go of her hand.
"Warrior princess?"
Toph echoed absentmindedly.
"Yes. One that will go on an adventure with me." He looked around. "Now we just need to find a dragon..."
"You're dumb." She squints her eyes, trying her best to watch what's he's doing. "Dragons are not real."
"Yes, they are. I just found a princess! I'm sure I'll find a dragon too." He exclaims in protest as he handed her a rope with a foot lever tied on its end.
"Do we have to climb?"
"Absolutely. We have to be somewhere high. How are we going to hunt for dragons otherwise?"
"Again, I repeat: dragons are not real."
The boy ignored her remarks and simply checked the ropes for extra measures to make sure it's secure.
As if.
This is totally a dangerous way to scale a tree.
Can't they just go grab a latter or something?
"Step on the wooden plank and hold onto the rope tightly." The boy instructs as he runs to where the other end of the rope is. He fastened it around a smaller tree with a few binds to help support her weight. Then he ran again to fetch a glove from behind a rock. He puts it on, returns to his previous position, then grabbed the line again. "I'm gonna pull you up now."
Toph looks up, uncertainty mapping her face.
"This doesn't seem safe. What if I fall?"
He smiled reassuringly.
"Don't worry. I'm not gonna let that happen."
She shot him a look.
"That's not what I meant."
His happy face however dispelled all her worries. The boy was looking at her expectantly. Just genuine excitement. Not a trace of pity or concern. Not even a hint of doubt wondering whether she could do something as simple as playing with him. The boy regards her as equal. Normal. Not that fragile little blind girl that everyone else sees.
Toph realized that this was probably the last chance she will have to experience something like this. Her future is certainly not going to be as adventurous as she was hoping it to be.
A frown etched itself between her eyebrows.
Toph suddenly remembered that drawing she made of herself wearing a police uniform back in fifth grade. When they get home, she will have to tear it off along with other pointless stuff from the walls of her room.
She swallowed the lump on her throat and steeled her nerve.
"Whatever. Go ahead and pull me up." However, Toph didn't hold herself back from giving the boy a dirty look as she warns him. "But I'm letting you know that I'm so gonna kick your butt if I fall."
"Copy that, Your Majesty!"
He dug his foot deeper into the earth in preparation for hoisting her up.
"Ready?"
Toph nodded making the boy grinned.
"Yip yip!"
He almost dropped her.
Almost.
They had a good laugh over it.
After Toph punched him in the gut of course.
She gotta say tho, the treehouse is pretty decent. It wasn't that big but it's spacious enough to fit two more people. From what she could tell, he painted the inside with bright yellow and orange hues; Doodling everything with sketches she couldn't discern.
The boy even stocked it with food stashes, extra blankets, and a humble collection of books and toys. Toph decided to be generous and donated a handful of candies. Giving away all the sweet treats she's keeping inside that small, dainty, white purse her mother insists for her to always carry around. (Toph thinks it's bugged or something. Oh well, she'll know soon enough.)
Toph roughly estimates that she's been missing for a whole afternoon now. There's no way of really knowing since the storm clouds continue to conceal the blue heavens. Her parents must be worried sick and someone is definitely going to get fired but Toph felt no remorse even though she should. Something's telling her that she won't get the chance to go outside as often as did in the past. She wanted to enjoy this experience guilt-free. Maybe later tonight, when the mansion is fast asleep, she'll condemn herself for this selfish act.
Toph turned her attention back to her current companion, who is now waving a stick around in the air for no apparent reason.
The boy is a chatterbox.
Prattling gibberish fantasies nonstop.
And he kept looking for a dragon the whole time.
Something Toph finds entertaining considering that's never gonna happen in millions of years.
"Let's say dragons are real." She leaned against the tree's enormous trunk as she watches him observe the outside world through the tiny window of the treehouse. "What are you going to do when we find one?"
"We'll befriend it, of course!" He enthusiastically exclaimed. "Then we will ride on its back and take to the sky! We will fly and fly and fly until we reach the end of the world!"
Toph burst out laughing.
This boy is stupid.
He'll be heartbroken once he finds out that dragons are nothing but a figment of imagination, that there's no such thing as 'the end of the world', and that Toph is not a real princess. He's going to be so disappointed once he realizes how cruel this world is just like how she did the morning she found out she's going to lose her sight.
The boy turned to her and that cheerful smile on his lips crumpled when his eyes landed on her face. He dropped the stick that he was holding and approached her.
"Are you okay? What's wrong?"
He is now staring at her with a somber gaze.
Toph didn't say anything.
"Hey...Princess?" He kneels down in front of her, "Don't cry."
She looks at him and the boy gave her a warm smile. His cheeks rounded charmingly when he did so. They were never this close, but now, with the proximity, Toph notices the freckles sprayed across the entirety of his face—the dots thickest across the bridge of his nose.
His silver eyes are twinkling with kindness.
So pretty.
She thought.
I wonder how do that pair of lovely eyes sees the world?
Toph kept her lips trailed in a thin line and averted her gaze. This time she decided that she'll be the one who admires the outside world despite only seeing obscure shapes and colors. Her stomach swirled in an ugly twist.
Those stormy eyes are too captivating.
And Toph hates things that are too beautiful.
One day, she won't have the chance to admire them.
"I'm not crying."
She says, her lips trembling.
"Liar. You look like you wanted to cry right now."
Maybe it's the thought that she'll never see this boy again so it's okay if she does something stupid in front of him or maybe the heaviness she's feeling on her chest is just too much. But regardless of whatever reason, the very moment those words left his mouth, tears escaped from the corner of her eyes.
The edges of her blurry vision deteriorated even more.
It was a cruel joke.
She's seeing a glimpse of what lay's ahead of her; A passing reminder of that what kind of future is waiting for her—clouded with shadows and devoid of definite imagery.
Toph knows.
It won't be long until she becomes completely blind.
Sometimes, Toph wishes that she was born with unseeing eyes. If she didn't deserve the gift of sight, why not just take it away from her from the very beginning? At least she wouldn't know what she's going to lose.
The boy frantically tried to wipe her tears, smudging some mud on her cheeks as he desperately mumbles kind words in hopes of cheering her up.
But just like what her mother use to say:
Once the rain comes falling down there's no stopping it.
"You have pretty eyes."
He said.
One last futile attempt to comfort her.
What a pitiful child.
He doesn't know that those are very poor choices of words as her eyes offer no consolation, only suffering.
"I don't want pretty eyes." Toph bitterly spats. "What I need is a pair that can see just fine."
Her bodyguards eventually found them. Toph was right. She clutches her purse. It's bugged. They probably didn't notice she was gone until much later on that's why they didn't search for her right away. When she heard her name being called in the distance, she turned to the boy and ushered him to slip away. She knows he'll get in trouble. It's not going to end well for him if her parents find out he participated in her disappearance. And she didn't really want any of them discovering his hide-out.
But the boy refused.
He firmly shook his head, seized her hand with his, and brought her back to the place where he stole her from.
Toph was severely reprimanded.
Her father is furious about the stunt she pulled while her mother didn't find it amusing that she made a mess out of her beautiful dress
The boy however had it worse.
Her parents lashed out at him.
How dare that mannerless kid prompted their good girl do something horrendous?
Toph rolled down the window of their limousine to peer at what's happening outside. She couldn't see well but she felt the boy's eyes on her. The whole time her parents chastise him, she endured the weight of his gaze in shame. Embarrassed that he witnessed her cry and that he's getting scolded because of her.
If she was an ordinary girl from an irrelevant family he wouldn't have to suffer harsh words.
If Toph was normal they would've probably played for the rest of day without the world giving a damn whether she ruined her attire or not.
If.
But she's a Beifong.
Her parents told her that they're much more important than other people.
The monks eventually came to rescue the boy.
Offering him the salvation she couldn't give to him
And the adults did whatever adults do. Discussing grown-up stuff in the distance, away from the children's ear-shot. Only sparing the little ones perplexing gazes. God, Toph hates adults. Why do they treat kids as if they're stupid?
She glances at the boy once more.
And he glances back at her with an insanely happy smile as if she didn't get him into trouble.
At the end of the day, the boy meekly asked her parent's permission if he could say goodbye to her.
They allowed him.
To her surprise.
He enveloped Toph in a tight embrace and gave her a sweet, tender kiss on the cheek. He whispered gently in her ears, "Next time we meet let's go on an adventure again, Princess."
It was a hopeless wish.
A feeble promise between two naive children.
She realizes that on their drive home.
How the hell would they find each other again when they don't even know each other's names?
In due course of her life, Toph did indeed lost her sight. And during the nights where sleep makes itself scarce to her, Toph tries to hold on to the few recollections she has on how things look like; The shapes of the trees; the colors of the rainbow; and the lines on people's faces.
Once in a while, she remembers that boy.
Especially during rainy days.
Toph would close her eyes. Shutting them tightly in an attempt to recreate his memories as she listens to the quiet pitter-patter of the rain. The echoes of the past would often flash in her mind one by one as if she's watching it roll on a giant movie screen. The film's disk always burning into a stop with that one particular scenery she could hardly remember: Swirls of dark silvery clouds moving in a mesmerizing dance.
She would often watch the sky's tempest with an aloof expression. It feels as though she's witnessing one of those evanescent dreams unfold—when daylight breaks all she remembers is that distant sense of nostalgia.
End.
Note: RIP to those short-lived friendships and love stories that happened randomly at McDonald's playgrounds. This one is for my homies out there who experienced something similar to this.
The definition of evanescent is just picked from google. Also, this fic is loosely inspired by the fact that I need new prescription glasses. That and because I wanted to imagine Aang with freckles lmao.