It was a bad idea to follow that tugging cord at the center of his being, the one that called him to Ullapool, and he never would have dared to entertain it if he knew it would have brought him here.

Jane sat by the ocean, stone's throw from the town, but his distasteful frown kept his eyes locked firmly ahead. What had he been thinking? Coming to Ullapool had only make him feel worse, not better, a smirch against Tavish's memory if there ever was one. Rubbing in Tavish's face that he'd never go home again—and here Jane was, free to frolic across the whole damn planet, even if it took him to stupid countries ending in 'land'.

He leaned further over his knees, barely feeling the sea breeze as he thought about his dead murdered friend, he reminded himself. Murdered by someone who he thought he could trust, who now had to carry that guilt with him for the rest of his life.

Everywhere Jane looked it reminded him of Tavish. Maybe that's why he'd come: self-flagellation. Appropriate punishment. Or maybe he was so desperate not to forget, he'd take the pain that came with remembering. Torturing himself truly, since he could look on the hills and surrounding coast that he had once only known through enthusiastic descriptions, see for himself the places where a young Tavish had played with dummy-grenades. He could imagine him talking to the local shopkeeps. He could practically see him walking up this very path, groceries in one hand, a newspaper filled with fried fish in the other as he took a large bite out of it-

Wait.

Tavish stopped dead, his face enveloped in utter shock. Still mid-chew, he coughed out, "Jjahne?"

Jane leapt to his feet. "Apparition!" He pointed an accusing finger at the offending spirit. "Do not think for a second I will be cowed into repentance by the spectral manifestation of my guilt!"

Tavish nearly choked as he tried to swallow his bite of fish. "I…what?"

"Ghosts serve no purpose on my journey to recovery," Jane continued. "Not even ones that look like my dead friend! Be gone creature of the other world!"

"What I- I'm not bloody dead."

Jane squinted at him. He definitely didn't look dead, totally opaque, no fettered chains representing his sins in life. "…Are you sure?"

"You'd think someone would know if they were dead," Tavish grumbled poignantly, now glaring at Jane for some reason.

"I killed you though. It was-" -pickaxe right through the sternum, crushing, all the red bits coming out when they should have been in- "That was definitely fatal."

"Aye, was, but I managed to limp my was back into Respawn range. Took a better part of an hour, but I made it."

There was something odd to Tavish's voice, something he wasn't saying, but the realization that he might actually-seriously-really be alive was starting to set in and Jane was too afraid to believe it.

He took a step closer, past the bench he'd been enjoying his solitude at and completing a full circle around the Demoman. Tavish's head followed him all the while, up until Jane came to a stop in front of him. "…Promise you are not a ghost?"

"I'm not a ghost," Tavish said, as convincingly honest as he'd always been. Not that his acting skills hadn't covered for his mendacity before-

-no, no that was a trick, it all turned out to be a lie a damn lie-

"Fine then. You're not." Though Jane would keep his eyes peeled for phantasmal discrepancies anyway. "What the hell are you doing here then?"

"I live here," Tavish huffed. "Gravel Wars are over, wasn't going to spend the rest of my years in some blighted desert. Better question is what are you doing here, yank?"

Crap. Well, maybe a half-truth would suffice. "You always talked so much about Scotland I thought…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I wanted to see what all the fuss was about."

Tavish stood there, one hand still clasped around his groceries. The moment dragged on, vast seas of unsaid things between them, of regrets still festering, to which he ended with, "would you like me to show you around?"

Jane looked down, trying not to stare at his shoes but instead at the foreign soil around them. "…Sure. Why not."

"Everything is incredibly vertical," Jane complained as they climbed up yet another hill Tavish insisted was part of the journey.

"Aye, that's why they call it the Highlands, BLU."

Jane hated how fucking smug he sounded. Hated, and missed it all the same, missed how this bastard could set a fire in his gut just with one of his damn smiles.

"And there she is," the Demoman said proudly as the crested the final ridge.

"Damn. Really went to crap in the last couple centuries."

"Oi, don't point fingers at me! I've only been around for forty of those."

DeGroot Keep was shriveled and hunchbacked since Jane had last seen it, folding under its own legacy as ages had eaten the tallest spires first and chewed its way down to the cob. Still, he could just make out the choke points, the parapets, the places he used to go charging into with his mêlée weapon held high—all sanded down by the years. Nothing like the place Jane had breifly allowed to witness.

"So what," he asked, following Tavish into the slight dip in the Highlands where the Keep nestled, "you live in here like some sort of anti-Italian?"

"An anti- what now?"

"Anti-Italians! Despises sun, allergic to garlic, doesn't show up in mirrors, no sex life. Basic literary reference, RED."

Tavish rolled his eye. "No, I'm not squatting in the dilapidated castle. Got a perfectly nice home down in the village, I just happen to have inherited this along with…all the other crap." He waved his hand. "I've considered shelling out to having it restored but…dunno. Seeing it go from its heyday to this makes me think that in another couple hundred years it'll just fall apart again."

He sat on a piece of tumbled rock, one that used to hang over the Keep's gate, a bright and shining keystone now used as a stool. Despite Jane's complaints, the Soldier actually wasn't winded at all, while the Demoman did truly look like he needed a minute. Jane joined him on the rock.

"Don't get much of this at home, do you?" Tavish mused. "Old crap. Yer country's still a wee babe you know, nothing's even falling apart yet."

"Incorrect! There are plenty of old things in America."

"For last time lad, Thomas Edison wasn't immortal, and he didn't be build a second Shangri-La under Pennsylvania Avenue."

"Your statements reveal both your ignorance and your compunction, but I was actually talking about mounds."

"Mounds," Tavish repeated dubiously.

"Yes! Mounds! Fourteen hundred years ago Americans were building ceremonial mounds in order to track celestial events! They look like animals from the top, lynx, bears, fish, all that crap. I used to walk next to this bird one every day on the way to school."

Tavish blinked at him, tilting his head. "No offense Jane, but I've never heard you even mention Indian stuff before. Where'd you even learn all 'o that?"

"My mother taught me, and her mother taught her, all the way down the line, so think before insinuating more cyclops—lest you show disrespect against her memory and I am forced to take out your other socket!"

Tavish raised his hands defensively, but there was a smile creeping at the corner. "Alright, alright, I get ye. A Mum's honor is a serious thing."

"Hm. Good." Jane glanced ahead, suddenly afraid of lapsing back into silence, as though Tavish would start to slip away from him if they did. "How is your mother?"

"Ah…she passed some years back."

"…I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's alright." Tavish paused. "I still see her sometimes."

"Metaphorically or…?"

Tavish glanced at him, but then away just a quickly, as though frightened of what he might see. "I'd rather not talk about it, if that's alright with you." Instead, he stared ahead, the sun setting between its cradle within the mountains. "Heh. At least there's something that's the same no matter where you go. Always a sunset."

"Guess so."

Still, Jane found he liked this one better than the ones back home. At least, better than all the ones he'd seen before he'd met Tavish.

The next day was spent in the village, and Jane couldn't help but yearn for more of Tavish's time, more of his attention. His friend. His friend who was still alive. Tavish had a kind word for every person they passed, all of whom didn't seem to notice Jane at all, simply starting up a conversation with their fellow local and submitting to the rhythm of the morning. Breakfast was some sort of potato scone, but Jane wasn't hungry, so he just walked beside Tavish as the other man ate. They found themselves at the same bench where they'd first run into each other.

"So," Tavish asked. "Ullapool everything you thought it would be?"

"Hm. It's…nice. It is obviously not perfect for geographical reasons entirely outside of its control, but. I understand how it made you the man you are."

"Me? Nah." Tavish wiped off his mouth with his sleeve. "I made myself like this."

Again, he wouldn't look at Jane, wouldn't say what they were both thinking. That things had gone wrong, that they had both fucked up. One of them more than the other, but Jane had found him again, and maybe they could still figure something out, still have time to unearth all that they had deemed too dangerous and buried in the sand. Jane reached forward, hesitated, then commited to putting his hand over where Tavish's was resting on the bench.

And watched it pass straight through.

Jane sprang away. "I knew it! I knew you were a ghost!"

Startled, Tavish looked down at his hand like he'd been burned. His lip curled, and he stood up saying, "I am not. I bloody told you I was't."

"Liar! I will not be swayed by any more perjury from your ethereal mouth!"

"I'm not lying!" Tavish snarled at him, his eye dark and narrowed, burning hotter than the words would imply. "I never lied. I never wanted any of-"

"Blasphemy!"

"Would you just listen for-!"

"You cannot guilt me apparition! For I know that-"

"Shut up! Just fucking shut up!" Tavish's fist closed around the neck of his scrumpy bottle, half drained before noon, and threw it full force at Jane's head.

Jane raised an arm to block the incoming blow, but the impact never arrived. A second ticked by, then two, then three, and slowly he lowered his forearm to reveal the panting Demoman behind it, shoulders heaving and an inscrutable expression tearing across his features.

"How's that for the truth you bleeding idiot," he said.

Jane looked to Tavish, then rotated his neck slowly, staring at the bottle that had landed in the grass behind him. He blinked, willing what he was looking at to make sense, to suddenly disappear and go back to where things were a second ago. To believe he hadn't seen that bottle connected with his own nose. There was something he didn't want to do, but he did it anyway, turning his gaze forward inch by agonizing inch, staring down at his own hands. Fully taking how translucent they were.

The moment shattered, Tavish tore his eye away. "Fuck. Fuck I'm sorry. I shouldn't've…"

Jane was still looking at his hands. There was panic, deep and overwhelming rising within him, but there was no raised pulse to accompany it, no sweat on the back of his neck.

He lifted his chin to Tavish. "What? I don't…"

"I didn't die," Tavish said thickly. "You did. I killed you and I walked off and you just bled out for who knows how long and-"

-the pickaxe but also a sword, just as deadly buried two feet into his chest and the man above him trying to shove it in a few extra inches, strangled screaming as it pushed deeper-

Jane hadn't been paying attention to the last half of Tavish's muttered confession. The Demoman was crying now, pawing furiously at his one lone eye as stared out valley below them, looking anywhere but at Jane as his sclera turned red.

"I'm sorry," he sputtered. "Christ Jane I'm so fucking sorry. If you came to haunt me or whatever I just- I just want you to know that you can't hate me more than I hate myself. That it's been killing me every day since."

He collapsed on the bench, curling away from Jane as he buried his face in his hands.

It could have been some sort of trick. A ghost bottle or…no Jane wouldn't even try. He attempted to remember what flight he had come in on but couldn't. He grasped for how many years since the Gravel Wars had ended, and couldn't find the answer.

Jane was a ghost, yet everything still hurt as much as it had when he had lived. Immaterial, and he still so badly wanted to touch Tavish's hand.

He sat on the bench next to him. "I didn't come to make you feel bad, Tavish."

"Then why did you come?" It sounded like it was meant to be venomous, but instead it only sounded empty—empty and wet with tears, like a plastic bag trampled into a puddle.

Jane looked down at his hands. His useless, ghost hands that he could still knit together. "I…I wanted to see you," he said truthfully. "I missed you."

Tavish looked at him, bleary-eyed. He whispered, "I missed you too. So damn much."

"Whatever I was doing before, I missed you enough to come here. To someplace I thought you would be."

A panicked jolt crossed Tavish's face. "You're not leaving, are you?" The same man who a moment ago thought Jane had come to smother him with guilt was despondent at the idea that Jane might go after all, that he wouldn't get a chance to hurt himself with his own regret anymore.

"No, no not yet," Jane said. He tried his best to wrap and arm around Tavish's shoulder. The mortal shivered where their skin met.

"Okay," Tavish said quietly. "Okay. Good. Thank you. I don't think I can…When I saw you sitting up here I couldn't believe it could be for something good. That the only reason you'd want to haunt me would be because you hated me."

"I don't hate you."

It was true. Even though he remembered now, remember lying there, thinking how they'd killed each other, Jane had only ever hated the man who'd believed the TV's lies.

"I really did come because I was thinking of you. Missing you. Maybe it was a combination of those things, us both missing each other." Jane paused. "Today was fun. I'm sure you have a lot of other places to show me, right private?"

"…Sure. Sure whatever you want." Tavish wiped at his nose. "I'm sorry Jane."

"It's alright Tavish." He held his head in the crook of Tavish's neck. "I'm sorry too."