HELLO EVERYBODY! Its ya bitch. So you may have noticed my other stories are gone. No I did not take them down, I honestly have no idea what happened. But I did not have them backed up, and with covid and everything else going on I just did not have the energy to fix it.

That being said, this story will be using the storyline I had intended for my Tsukimi Uzumaki fic, and just overall improving all the grammar/continuity mistakes I made. this WILL be a different story though. same direction, different details.

I promised I would finish this fic, and by the gods I'm going to. Even if I need to re write the whole damn thing. (which I do. Which makes me sad.)

That being said, for those of you that were fans of my old fics I really am sorry that they are gone, but there is nothing I can do to recover them.

I don't own Naruto or any of the numerous works of fiction mentioned in this fic. I only own Risa, the Squirrels, and Pablo. Everyone and everything else is not mine.

Any references to real people/persons are coincidental and are not intended to insult or degrade anyone. Except Obama. But we all know he is not real.

A fine mist coated the streets of Bostin as the final bell tolled, signaling the end of the school day. A tired sigh left me as a sauntered through the hallway towards the exit.

"HEY BITCH!" called a gruff voice from behind me. I turned to see my best, and really ONLY friend Pablo waving like a lunatic. "Sup fucker" I let out a slight chuckle as we left the building together. We lived side by side in an apartment complex so we had always walked together since we started school.

"can you believe were actually graduating soon" he said as we strolled across the cracked stone sidewalk. I laughed again and shook my head. "you mean YOUR graduating. I'm pretty sure I failed chem."

We both stopped in our usual hang out spot, a small ally way. Nobody ever bothered us there so we usually would hang around and smoke after school. He looked at me with a grimace and handed me a cigarette. "Fuck you sure? you realize without a diploma you're going to be screwed with a labor job right?"

I laughed a bit harder at the irony. I had been infamously lazy through high school, me working a job doing hard labor? No way. But he was right, I let out another sigh as I took a drag. If I fucked up here my future was essentially screwed unless I won a loto.

Like that's ever going to happen.

We spent a few hours there, longer than usual. We talked about plans for the future and other nonsense we thought was important at the time…

If only we'd known…

After arriving home and seeing a sock on my front door (meaning my mother was 'entertaining') Pablo and I ventured to his room to watch some anime and get shitfaced. We never managed to get that far though. just as we got through the door was the house began shaking, and the loudest sound I had ever heard ripped through the air. I tuned around, fearing maybe a gas station had caught fire or a car bomb had gone off.

Instead I was greeted with the sight of a mushroom cloud towering over the high rises of the city. The massive effigy of death was far away, we probably had a minute before the shockwave hit. I looked at Pablo, my life flashing before my eyes as we shared a nod, an agreement from long ago passing between us.

Rushing to the kitchen we grabbed some things, a couple of mugs, a newspaper, and a large spoon. I passively observed his mother watching the news, a story of nuclear hellfire burning the whole planet. I dident stick around for that though.

I ran to the bathroom, having only seconds left to get ready. But we managed. As fire and a force of raw power ripped the world around us asunder, I was seated in the bathtub, mug in one hand with a comically large spoon in the other. Pablo was seated on the sink, pretending to sip his empty mug and reading a newspaper.

Now we can forever be environmental storytelling skeletons for the survivors. We executed it perfectly.

I cant say much about dying, for the life of me (get it) I couldn't recall the fire actually hitting me. One second, I'm trying to position my soon to be corpse inside of a small bathtub, the next I was here, sitting on a beanbag chair and staring at the pure white walls towering over head.

"So this is the afterlife" I mused. "Does this mean I'm in heaven? Or is this where I'm going to get judged?"

"I believe I can answer that darling." I turned to face where the strange voice had come from, but there was nothing in the room except me and the chair I was seated in. that and a squirrel siting in front of me-

Your kidding.

Despite my look of pure apathy, the squirrel continued to confound all reason and speak in English. "I am Letheirrion, and you are in fact seated withing the city of the divine. Although you'll find that no one religion in particular got all of the facts right." I nodded along. Assuming that I was dead and not on an ungodly amount of drugs, I would probably need to pay attention here.

"Although." She continued. "there was a man from Orlando Florida named Joshua Mints. One night he ate an absolutely lethal amount of mushrooms, and was able write down the true lore of the divine realm and the thirteen God's with nearly 98% accuracy." She let out a very ladylike giggle at that, the small body shaking at the effort.

"But enough of that." She took a moment to collect herself. "you wont be needing a run through of how heaven works because you will not be staying!" she said those words with such a happy tone, yet my stomach clenched as I anticipated the worst. "oh don't look at me like that, it is GOOD news little human." That eased my worry a bit, but I could not help feeling uneasy. I mean, who wouldn't after an unidentified entity tells you your leaving heaven? Kind of ominous.

"Now as you have no doubt surmised, the earth you lived on has been utterly burned in the flames of human arrogance. But fear not! For there are in fact limitless worlds and dimensions to explore, and you have been selected to go to one such real, and save it from some evil!" her head tilted for a moment as her eyes squinted in thought. "I believe you would call this an 'isekai'?"

Now THAT made my mood lighten significantly. "Well say no more I'm in!" I smiled, probably the most genuine smile than I had worn on my face in a long time. "so do I get to choose where I'm going or is that already decided?"

"A good question, but sadly you will have no choice over the world you will end up in. once we determine where you will go however, you will be allowed to choose some things. Chief among them will be a power and a special weapon to take with you!" my smile did not falter, as this was more than I had actually expected.

"so." I began. "how do you choose the world I will be sent too?"

Lethirrion did that thing squirrels do, where they wipe their paws over their nose. I had to contain a sqee as she spoke again. "that is a rather simple process. We determine the rank of the world you will be sent too first. This will be done with a simple die, now since your soul's potential for power is rather high you will be given access to all of the options" She pulled out a single piece from a set of dice and gave it to me to inspect. The die was six sided and marked with the letters, C, B, A, S, and SS. "as you may have surmised." She continued. "you will roll the dice to see what rank world you will be sent too. C and B rank worlds are easy to manage, and pretty much any human with powers could easily do the job. A and S rank worlds however, require someone with something special, in your case its your ability to remain calm. Combine that with some magic and some training you should have no trouble with even an S rank world!" she said with a gleeful pep, yet her cheery demeanor took a sharp dive as she explained the next part. "SS rank worlds are worlds that have been interfered with by a devil class entity, that means a divine being, one created directly by one of the gods, has turned against the rules of heaven." I took a sharp breath at that. But remained calm none the less as I listened to the rest. "any world that has been tampered with by a devil is automatically deemed SS, but in truth most devils are actually fairly weak, so SS ranked worlds have a secondary ranking system. Ill explain that more if you actually land on that option. Now, roll the dice so we can continue, I've got more souls than you to handle this evening after all."

Nodding in understanding I rolled the dice across the floor, and low and behold it landed face up on SS. "ah well better explain that ranking system now shall I?" I gave another nod of confirmation. "well darling first there is SS- hound class. This is a world that has been invaded by a devil, but the devil is extremely weak. These are more like C or B rank quests. Then we have SS-Serpent also akin to B rank worlds, this is when a weak devil has influence over a group of people, servants if you will. Then there is SS- demon class. These worlds are inhabited by a powerful devil, but said devil has little or no influence in the world. meaning while strong, it will be the only threat. These are akin to A rank worlds. Finally there are SS- Armageddon class worlds. These worlds are enthralled by a powerful devil, and that devil has powerful hold over the people of the land and usually armies of demons at their call." She laughed for a moment, then shook her head as if to clear it of a distracting thought. Well there is also the rare SS- L.O.S.T rank world, But you needn't worry. there aren't any worlds in the multiverse under that rank. The last one just blew up."

I blinked for a moment, but the question I intended to ask was cut off as she answered it with her next statement. "And yes dear, that was YOUR world. the son of the goddess of the sun, A demigod turned devil named Hariselicaite. I believe he called himself 'Markiplier' on earth."

I couldn't help it. I laughed. Not an innocent, soft laugh either. I laughed HARD. It felt like minutes before I calmed down. But when I did…

The squirrel lady was tapping her foot rather impatiently. "right, your very busy. Sorry." I said feeling a bit embarrassed.

"yes well." She continued once more. "now that that's out of the way we shall begin preparing you for the journey ahead, That said, look through this list of SS rank worlds and select which you would prefer to go to. Then we can begin 'customizing' your abilities and items."

I took a tablet that she pulled from thin air, not the strangest thing to happen today though. as I looked through it a few of the worlds caught my eye.

SS- hound: Naruto dimension M.A.D726814.

SS- Demon: Eragon dimension M.A.D991158

SS- Serpent: Devil may Cry Dimension M.A.D666420

SS- hound: Avengers Dimension M.A.D500201

SS- Demon: Lord of the Rings Dimension M.A.D100020

SS- Armageddon: Earth Dimension R.W.D000005

As I looked through the list I cleared my throat for a moment. "um, so what do M.A.D and R.W.D stand for, is that important?" I asked.

"Ah no not at all. M.A.D the world was born from mortal fantasy, essentially whenever a tv show, book, movie, or any piece of media becomes popular it gets a handful of dimensions. A pet project of the gods really. R.W.D means the world is one of the 13 original universes, each god has one of their own you see."

I nodded in understanding, and crossed off the earth dimension in my mind. I am not taking on a world that dangerous just to go back to a crappy no magic earth. After another minute of thinking I finally decided to just settle for the Naruto Dimension. Not so much for the easy rank, but because among these worlds, Naruto probably gave me the best chance of surviving given my knowledge of it. All the other worlds had crazy strong enemies AND powerful devils, I wasn't going anywhere near Virgil's bullshit, and on god/god's I am not going ANYWHERE near Thanos's ball sack chin.

"Alright, I've decided. Ill take the Naruto world." Letheirrion nodded and took the tablet, pressing a few buttons and swiping a few times she put it away.

"Alright now its time for your drop location. This particular Naruto world is around the beginning of the story, so I recommend having you be born into the world. this would prevent you from needing to explain your existence to a bunch of ghastly ninjas." I gave an exaggerated grimace as I imagined how THAT would go, and agreed that being reborn, while annoying, would probably be for the best. "Next." She went on. "you will select a special power. This can be anything from legendary proficiency in a certain element, to having an ability from a completely different world. please do take into account that you will be in a world of overcautious ninjas."

Right. Power, what kind of power have I always wanted to use? If I'm in Naruto there will be plenty of magical chakra bullshit, but I can learn that with dedication. I need to pic something I CANT learn. Something unique. Something that will give me an edge.

"Biju chakra."

It slipped out, but I had no intention of taking it back anyway. I knew its what I wanted.

"so to be clear." Letheirrion spoke hesitantly. "you don't want one of the tailed beasts, you want your own unique tailed beast chakra?"

"yesssss!"

She sighs as she types something into the tablet. "You do realize having a tailed beast energy signature is literally the most suspicious thing you could have chosen?"

"ya I know, but it will also be AWSOME." I nodded a few times to affirm my decision. "wait." I said. "should I specify what my biju chakra does or will that be random?"

She went wide eyed for a moment and cursed as she checked her tablet. "Hon I'm sorry I already put it through so its gonna be random. Lets make sure to think of those details first for the rest of your choices alright?"

I simply nodded again. That was my screw up so I couldn't complain. "Alright boss, whats next?"

"Next." She pulled up the tablet again. "you need to pick a weapon. This will be connected to your soul directly, so you will be able to summon it simply by thinking about it." She stopped to think about something for a second before moving on. "since you will be reincarnated I strongly advice never summoning it until after you are at least a teenager. Seriously I cannot stress enough that there will be natural law defying super over cautious ninjas… EVERYWHERE."

I laughed at her exaggeration as I began to think it through. Again I would have access to plenty of weapons in the world I was headed too. I needed something I could not get there. So definitely a gun. But what kind should I bring-

"The super shot gun!" I called out. And why wouldn't I? it is the doom slayers signature weapon after all!

Minus the B.F.G, but that would probably kill me just firing it.

"yes I can see why. That one is actually one of our top ten most used fantasy weapons believe it or not. Just under Excalibur." She muttered aloud as she input my weapon choice into the tablet.

"oh really? Out of curiosity What's the top three?"

She put the tablet down and did that cute little head tilt again.

"Number three is Excalibur, number two is a lightsaber, and number one is the 007 golden gun."

I sat silently as I considered that for a moment. "you mean I could have had a gun that guaranteed a one hit kill?"

She deadpanned at me for a moment before answering. "I DID tell you to think it through."

Fair enough.

She shook her head at me and once again did that cute nose scratch. "Alright well now you get to choose a companion to bring along with you. You can select any kind of animal or robot, the only rule is that it cannot be something that doesn't exist in the world you are going to." I opened my mouth to question that as all the other options were limitless but she held up a paw to stop me. "The reason for that rule here and not on the other gifts is that too many people would bring something like Godzilla and end up destroying the world they were supposed to save."

Ah.

I stopped, thinking hard on this one. A companion? What would I want? I would probably have access to summons in Naruto so I would probably be better off with a machine, but would I really want that to be my 'friend' through this adventure? Plus were robots even possible in the world of Naruto?

Wait, mecha Naruto. Forgot about that one.

But then I got an idea, it was probably a mistake but the second it popped into my head I knew I wouldn't regret it.

"Can I bring another human?" I said, crossing my fingers and praying that it was allowed. The squirrel giggled and waved me off.

"Well sure but they wont be given special power, why would you want to drag dead weight around?" she laughs as If I had made some funny joke, but I was dead serious.

"I want to take my friend Pablo." A silence passed through the air as she processed my request. Without a word she took to the tablet and input my request.

"very well." She said. "he will also be reborn around the same time as you, just know that unlike you he will lean at a normal pace, and likely wont be able to achieve enough power to help you on your journey. also, due to heavens laws as a human he cannot be bound to you as a familiar. If he dies you wont get him back."

I nodded in understanding, but hey. He was my friend, who would I be if I went full isekai and left him behind?

"Alright, that about wraps it up." Letheirrion muttered. "now you wont get to customize how you will look as you will be born to a family, but in order to make the journey easier for you; your body will have advanced metabolism, a magic assisted healing factor, and a copy of your soul will be saved in heaven. If you die you will return here and be able to go on to a different world."

My smile lit back up as I thought about that. Living out my afterlife going around and saving worlds from danger? Nerds. Dream.

"One more thing before you depart."

Before my eyes the squirrel began to glow, its body twisting and morphing until before me stood a semi humanoid 12 foot tall mutant squirrel, wearing a toga.

Guess heaven is a tits out kinda place.

"Child of Earth Dimension R.W.D000007. you have been selected by the goddess of Balance ly'Wae as a Counterforce Guardian. Do you swear to serve the gods in this duty, no matter the cost?"

I took a moment to process, but quickly shook off the surprise and stood up from the beanbag. "Yes Sir!"

A quick giggle reminded me that this towering figure was still the same person I had been speaking to for the past 15 minutes or so. "And do you swear to put your own needs aside, to serve and protect the innocent people of the world you are entrusted to save?"

"I do."

"And finaly." She took a deep breath. "as you are entrusted to an SS rank world, do you swear to do anything in your power to defeat the devil invader, no matter what it may cost you?"

"Ill get the job done. No matter what!" I said that, yet I couldn't help feel a bit uneasy as the reality hit me. Weak or not, a devil was still a devil. even if I didn't have any real point of reference for how dangerous they were, considering their presence automatically change a world to an 'SS' rank threat means I would need to make training a priority, and I would need to take this seriously.

"Very well. By the authority vested in me by the 13 gods council, I bid you farewell and good fortune. And remember..."

"Eyes up guardian."

And just like that my vision went dark. The feeling of freefalling took hold of me as I lost all feeling in my body. For what felt like hours I was dead to the world, only the feeling of falling let me know I was even alive.

And then there was light.

It was strange. One minute I'm falling, unable to feel anything. The next I'm swaddled in blankets and being held by a woman that smells like pine needles and dogs. Not wet dog though, more like a dog just after a bath. If you own a dog you know what I mean. It was pleasant.

So this must be my 'mom'.

It took me a while to open my eyes, the effort was almost painful. But eventually I managed to observe the room. my ears were not quite working yet so I cant make out what was being said, but in the room were two doctors, what seemed to be a wolf, and a large man who I did not recognize from the Naruto show or manga cradling another baby, a sibling? After trying to no avail to see anything else with my blurry vision, I instead decided to see if I could recognize the woman who was currently holding me. The moment I turned my head to face her a smile split her visibly exhausted face. Her lips began to move, her tone sounded excited yet I sadly couldn't make out the words. I wasn't too focused on the smile or the words though. I was more concerned by the cheeks, and the red fang tattoos that adorned them.

An Inuzuka.

But not just any Inuzuka, that was THE Inuzuka.

Tsume

I just got incarnated as a clan heads daughter.

Shit. I hate politics.

BACK IN HEAVEN WITH LETHEIRRION:

Along a series of silver paved roads and architecture from every generation and century, a squirrel hopped along side a multitude of creatures ranging from humans, to bizarre creature not even found in fantasy. Everyone was moving with purpose, and everyone had duties to attend. But suddenly the motion of the streets halted and the panicking figure of a anthropomorphic alligator called for a clear path. He rushed through the streets of the silver city with a single vanilla envelope clutched in hand, and a look of horror on his fanged maw. Without a thought Letheirrion was on his shoulder, rubbing circles across the back of his head as he continued to run. "what got you in such a hurry Merigrin? I've never seen you in such a panic before."

The gator made no physical acknowledgement of her appearance, but after a few seconds of silence he answered with a shaky voice. "its bad Lethei. Its real bad. I misfiled one of the realms and that world just got sent out to be assigned a guardian!"

Letheirrion stopped rubbing as a bad feeling took hold of her gut. "Meri, what was the worlds M.A.D ID?"

Still panicking and out of breath he took a moment to answer, but her stomach dropped when he finally did.

"Naruto dimension M.A.D726814. I completely fucked this up Lethei. I need to get to the council to re-classify it before some poor soul gets sent off on a suicide mission!" he burst through the doors of the council building in the center of the city, the place where universal law was decided. The place where the gods held meetings and cast judgment. The place where worlds were designed.

"Meri, out of curiosity what is the actual rank of that world?" she asked, hoping beyond all hope that she hadent sent that poor human into a hopeless situation.

"The devil that has taken it is The god of destruction's son Lethi. Its Meliodas." Anyone who had not been distracted by the doors being thrown open a moment before was suddenly focused on the gators panting figure. Even the god of time Chronos, who was present in the hall, was wide eyed at the mention of the thought to be dead demigod. Said god stepped forward, currently in the form of a great blue dragon, his steps shook the hall as his gaze focused.

"Your majesty!" Meri called. "I need to re-classify Naruto dimension M.A.D726814 immediately! Please this cannot wait for processing!"

The god tipped his head in understanding. "I understand the urgency Merigrin Corfang, but I fear that world has already been assigned to a counterforce guardian." The lord of time's face took on an empathetic look as horror stretched across Meris face. And a look of guilt dawned on Letheirrions.

"Meri." Letheirrion spoke weakly. "what is the real classification of that world."

The gators eyes clenched as tears streaked down his cheeks. "Meliodas is immortal. cant be beaten my a mortal soul Lethei,"

The whole room seemed to take a breath before he finished his sentence, a few people fainted, one of two even puked from fear.

"That world is L.O.S.T"

Letheirrion fell from her friends shoulder, a minor wave of panic overtaking her. "Lord Chronos." she squeaked. " Is there any way you can pull that Guardian out?"

The gods nod of denial only served to deepen the pit that had formed in the squirrels gut. "I'm sorry child. But if we open a gateway to save that guardian, we would also be opening a gate for Meliodas to reach the silver city. If he were to use the gateway to invade heaven, his power would destroy the multiverse, and the gods would be forced to recreate the universe from scratch."

At this point anyone who had been in the hall had rushed off to spread the word, so luckily not too many people witnessed poor Letheirrion's mental breakdown as one of the four eldest gods made his judgment known.

"I am afraid, old friend. That your Guardian is on her own"

Aight so thats all for now. tune in next week (or tomorrow if I decide to skip sleep tonight) to see the next chapter.

Character- Letheirrion Lilliana

Race- Divine entity: former human

homeworld- R.W.D000001

backround- former counterforce guardian. 314 worlds saved. currently overseer of new Guardians for the god of Balance.

fun fact- while sweet and elegant among friends and strangers, she actually prefers underhanded tactics and assassination when in combat. she has killed 3 S ranked Devils by crawling inside their anus and tearing their internal organs.