I wasn't sure if it was my brain stopping the information being heard, or it was the reality of things kicking in. We all knew it was a possibility when accepting a job at the DEO. We'd all heard of the good ones and their stories. But now it was me.
"Agent Danvers?" she repeated, eyebrows raised and waiting for my response.
My mouth opened, but nothing came out. I shut it again. The tight chest guard which was almost a part of me suddenly felt constricting. Eyes tingled and burnt because I sure as hell wasn't going to cry at the DEO. Ever.
"Agent Danvers, I need to know that you understand what I'm saying," the voice went on. "I need to know that you understand why we're medically discharging you."
All I could do was nod. I thought I was fine. Recovery would always be tough, mentally and physically, but I was always fine. Even when I was shooting at targets under observation for them to see that I was ready to come back to work, I felt good. Excitement of what I'd missed while being on medical leave buzzed and my fingers itched to be busy. But then I was sat down in the private conference room and spoken to with words I couldn't soak up.
"You missed 7 targets out of 20. In the field, that's 7 times you would've been killed. Your reaction time was down 50%."
I didn't even see those 7 targets. I thought I had them all.
Kara had come by every day once I was allowed to go home and continue my recovery. She'd bring endless food, most of which she ate, and a lot of DVDs. Sometimes she stayed and watched with me. Other nights I'd sit up and try to act as if things were normal again. The TV would be on, the volume up a little louder than usual, my body directly sat in front of the large screen. If you were a stranger, you wouldn't be able to tell apart from the blue lightning bolt shape cascading through the white of my right eye to the pupil. Kara would turn down the TV the next time she switched it on, not realising. We'd sit through endless hours of movies or shows and I wouldn't catch half of what they were saying. The hearing in my right ear was almost nonexistent apart from a constant high pitch whistle. The sight in my right eye was at about 60%.
Without the DEO, what the hell was I supposed to do?