Dear Diary (Sylvester's Diary)

by Golden Snitch1981

UPDATE. I decided to respectfully add chapters carrying on Steve's talking kitty stories. Before Steve Cash passed away, I wrote two Sylvester's diary entries, for something to do. I will post them here along with the final entry I wrote since his passing. These are the only one I have written or will consider writing in the foreseeable future. Thanks for reading and please be kind

1. Christmas

Dear Diary,

Decembuary 33st:

It feels like yesterday we had Xmas. I'm glad that shit's over for another year and that slack bastard Santa has gone back to the north pole, hopefully to rot for another year.

He forgot my friggin catnip - dumbass! I hope Rudolph's nose catches fire and they ALL BURN for this.

So I demanded the human slave to buy my some wet food to make up for it but he said he had no money left after spending it all on presents - for who?

Where's my present?

All I got was this dumb collar with a bell - a friggin BELL! I suppose he thinks that's funny.

Shelby got another hamburger with a squeaker that I hope she chokes on and dies.

GG, Gibbyson and Random Kitty also got collars with bells. Now I'll never get any peace and quiet with all that jingling - and the fcking squeaking from the dumb dog!

They can jingle all the way to hell for all I care. All I wanted was catnip and all you can eat wetfood, but no!

Stupid collar.

Stupid bell.

Stupid Santa.

BURN!

Officially done giving a damn about Stupid Stupid Christmas.

Stupid Stupid World.

I gotta go. Steve's calling me and he says he has a surprise for me. I hope it's catnip!

Until next time diary,

BURN Santa! BURN elves! You too Roldolph, Donna and Blitzen and all you stupid reindeer! DIE!

I'm not pissed at all - peace out.