Author's notes: CCPrez's reviews for "Camping in High Heels" got me thinking of something which The Surprise curiously did not cover, even as a brief mention. As I started contemplating that, I realized how one of his suggestions would segue pretty smoothly off of that. Most of this fic takes place after my previous one, "The Pact", but without any particular connection to it. Hope you all enjoy.
The characters and milieu of this fan fiction work are property of Nagaru Tanigawa, Kyoto Animation, and Funimation.
A Tale of Two Presidents
- Chapter 1: Mentor and Protégé -
It felt happier at Yuki's house when Kyon wasn't around.
Haruhi wasn't sure what it was, but whenever Kyon was there, she started to feel like Yuki wasn't going to get better with just soup and rest. Like if they didn't get out there and do something, Yuki was going to just fade away into nothingness.
Such absurd thoughts didn't occur to her when it was just the two of them. Or even when Mikuru was there, too. All she felt was unwavering focus on the tasks at hand. Cook the soup. Take Yuki's temperature. Bring her water. Change her clothes. Wipe down her forehead.
"I could read to you," she told Yuki.
Yuki gave her a blank look, like she didn't understand the offer.
"I read to Kyon when he was sick." Surely Yuki would find it unacceptable that she not be read to while a comatose Kyon was.
There was a brief flicker, like Yuki saw something unexpected in the way she spoke about Kyon, but still no answer to the offer.
She went to her bookbag and dug out a book. "You'll like this one," she assured Yuki. She sat in the bedside chair and opened it up.
Yeah, it was much happier without Kyon around. Besides, he was completely useless at helping take care of Yuki. It always made her so mad when he was useless. She expected better of him, and he almost always let her down.
"Chapter one," she announced. "Malefast is Coming." She belatedly realized she had forgotten to read the title and author. Well, it didn't really matter. Titles only existed so you could find the book more easily. "On a chance -"
The door buzzer rang. Again.
Frowning deeply, she got up and closed the book, but held her place with her index finger. "I'll be back in a minute."
She strode to the console and pushed the talk button. "I know that by now whoever rang the buzzer is running away and giggling like the regressed chimpanzees you are, but I'm giving fair warning for the record: I am now preparing a booby trap for the door buzzer. If you press it again, you will be subjected to a very painful shock. Consider yourselves warned."
She released the button, and to her surprise, a voice responded on the intercom. "M-Miss Suzumiya, wait! It's us!"
She thought she recognized the voice, but she pushed the talk button again, frowning, and asked, "Who's 'us'?"
"The Computer Research Society! We're here to visit Miss Nagato."
The frown didn't go away. "I don't recall you requesting permission to visit one of my Brigade members, or scheduling an appointment for this day and hour."
"Ah, well..." She could practically hear sweat dripping off the pitiful President's face. "We just thought we could drop by..."
"And play ding dong ditch until you confirmed I was no longer in the apartment, is that it?" Her puzzled frown had turned into a knowing smirk.
"M-M-Miss Suzumiya, please. We're just trying to pay our respects to our sick comrade. We don't want to be drop-kicked or yelled at or blackmailed for sexual assault."
"Well, trying to sneak into a girl's apartment while she's bedridden and alone is practically screaming for that last one."
"We weren't trying to sneak in. We were hoping your, ah, underling, Kyon, might eventually answer the bell. But if we have to deal with you to see Miss Nagato, we will. Are you going to let us in or no?"
Unbelievable. They had the nerve to say they'd rather see Kyon than her? She'd like to just send them packing, but... Yuki liked spending time with that club, and it might not be just because of the computers.
"Hey, Yuki!" she called. "The Computer Society guys are here! Do you want me to let them in?"
There was a pause before a weak voice answered, "...Yes."
She buzzed them in.
She read to Yuki for the two minutes it took them to come up, then answered the door. They faced her awkwardly for a moment (those of them which had the guts to instead of looking at the walls or the floor or the bundle of flowers one of them was carrying, that is) and then the President spoke up. "May we speak to her privately?"
For another moment she just stood there with a hand on her hip, enjoying watching them squirm. Then: "Hmmph. I let you see her unsupervised in your clubroom every week. But you really think I might refuse you now, don't you?" Without waiting for an answer, she turned and walked to Yuki's bedroom. "She's right in here. She's been pretty tired, so if you have any big programming issues you need her to solve, save them for when she gets better."
Yuki glanced at them as they came in, but said nothing.
"Here are your friends, Yuki. I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything, okay?"
She left the room, closing the door behind her.
"M-m-miss Nagato," Yanami stammered as soon as Suzumiya left, his face twisted with distress. "You look like -"
"How are you feeling, Miss Nagato?" the President cut him off before he could worry her with a frank assessment of her appearance.
"...Weak." The whispered word sounded like it might have carried the last of her energy away with it.
Tsunoda fidgeted. "We, um... We brought these for you." He held out the flowers.
"We all pitched in for them," Niimi added. "We were very concerned about you, Miss Nagato."
"Thank you," she said.
"Is there anything we can do for you, Miss Nagato?" Watase asked.
"Anything at all?" Yanami threw in. "We'd do anything for you, Miss Nagato! We won't let you face this alone when -"
"That's enough." The President held a hand in front of Yanami to halt his babbling. Tsunoda was still holding the flowers out to Miss Nagato, when it was obvious she was in no shape to get up and take them, so the President took them from him and set them on the nightstand. "We're crowding Miss Nagato. Why don't you all go to the other room and wait? If Miss Nagato wants to speak to one of you, I'll call you in."
They all nodded, murmuring, "Yes, Chief," and cleared out.
Once they were gone, the President let out a relieved sigh. "You'd think they'd be more sympathetic to a fellow introvert."
"I do not mind." Miss Nagato's voice was so gentle, even in her ill state.
"That's kind of you to say, but we all want you feeling as well as possible. Besides, there are things I want to talk to you about."
He allowed a pause for acknowledgment. None came, but at least she was making eye contact. That wasn't a given when talking to his fellow Computer Society members.
"You see, I..." It was hard talking to her. Not because she was quiet – he was used to quiet – but because she was so intimidating. He felt like the village idiot talking to Confucius or Albert Einstein. "...well... The other members of the Computer Society, they look up to me. I'm like a mentor to them. I'm used to having that sort of relationship with the rest of the club. But naturally, I can't have that sort of relationship with you. You're a much better coder than I am, and more successful than me in general... It's only to be expected that you don't respect me the same way the others do."
Her gaze was cool and steady.
"I-It's not a problem!" He waved his hands in disclaimer. "I mean, if it were going to be a problem, I wouldn't have invited you to the group in the first place. I knew this was how things were going to be with you. I, I just, I want to be able to talk with you about things. It's my responsibility to make sure there are no problems among my club members. And you should feel comfortable coming to me if you have a problem. Just as if I were, well, Miss Suzumiya."
Something about the way she looked at him, even though her expression was virtually unchanged, told him she wasn't quite following him. There was a vacancy there.
"Of course I'm not at all the same as Miss Suzumiya. But she is like a mentor to you, isn't she?" He nodded, just to assure himself. "You respect her. Your first loyalty is to the SOS Brigade. I understand that. I just want you to talk to me about Computer Society issues the same way you talk to her about any other type of issue. For instance..." He pointed outside the bedroom. "Mister Yanami. I'm sure you've noticed by now that he's quite smitten with you."
Miss Nagato squirmed around, turning her face away from him. Coming from her, it was an unexpectedly, well, human expression of discomfort.
It made him smile. "I mean, in a way, we all are. Most of us don't socialize with girls much, never mind a girl who is such a wonder programmer as yourself. Your company is a rare pleasure for us. But in Yanami's case, it goes a bit farther than that. He is... very devoted to you." He paused to consider his next words. "I had assumed that nothing would come of this. Then you invited him to come on your camping trip. Things have seemed oddly pronounced between you two since then. ...Please, look at me."
She obediently turned her head towards him.
"Is there something going on between you two?"
Her lower lip moved from side to side a little, but no words came out.
"I know it's none of my business. You don't have to give me any details. I just want, well, a vague idea of what's going on, in case there are problems."
"We are friends." They were the first words she had spoken since the conversation had properly began, but there was no hesitation or uncertainty about them whatsoever. "That is all."
"Does Yanami understand that?"
"Yes."
"How does he feel about it?"
"Content."
"Nothing significant happened between you two on the camping trip?"
"Nothing significant."
Intuition told him that something had happened, but he didn't want to press her too much. She was sick, after all. Not talking to her about it before she got sick was his own failure. Besides, she might be offended if he delved too much into her personal affairs.
"Very well," he said. "Feel free to come to me if there are any issues between you two – though I'm sure you'll prefer to go to Miss Suzumiya." He shrugged helplessly. "But, if I can be of no help to you, perhaps you could help me with something?"
"You..." Miss Nagato trembled slightly. "...have already been... of great help to me."
"Anything I have given you is nothing compared to the debt the entire Society owes you for your brilliant programming work."
"That is simple diversion. Information received while with Computer Research Society..." An eyelid twitched. "...helps... maintain... stability of personal information. Disorder... simpler to avert. Identity... accesses wider dimensions... less susceptible to data loss... vital in present scenario..."
The illness was getting to her. He should leave her be, maybe even fetch Miss Suzumiya, but he couldn't stand to leave without asking this. The question had been maddening him since it came up. "Miss Nagato. Do you remember that time where I went missing, and the SOS Brigade found me?"
There was a flicker of remembrance in her eyes.
"You told me it was my girlfriend who retained the SOS Brigade's services. But I didn't have a girlfriend. At first I thought it must have been my older sister. She's always been jealous of my being so much smarter than her, but she's a good kid. She finds some excuse to drop by my apartment and check up on me every couple months. It would be just like her to employ a group of high schoolers, give them a fake name, and claim to be my girlfriend, all so she wouldn't have to admit she'd been worried about me. I decided to never bring it up, so as not to embarrass her. But..." He twiddled his fingers guiltily. "When she visited me this Saturday, we got into an argument. A fight, to be honest. I got so mad, when she started up with her nonsense about how I'm nothing but a nuisance, I flung the incident in her face. Only she knew nothing about it. At first I thought she must be feigning ignorance, but the next day she called me and said she was sorry she hadn't even noticed I was missing. That seemed a bit too much for a cover."
He drew a deep breath. Why did he have to tell her all that about his sister? It wasn't really the point, and she looked completely uninterested.
"So it must have been someone else. Please, tell me... Who was it? Who came to the SOS Brigade claiming to be my girlfriend?"
Miss Nagato gently closed her eyes. For a second he thought that she'd fallen asleep, and he'd have no civilized choice but to get up and leave. Then she whispered something.
"Who?" he said, having been unable to catch that. It sounded like "Unable to transmit", which of course made no sense.
There was another pause, and he feared she had only been talking in her sleep. Then she said, still softly but now audibly, "Emiri Kimidori."
This time he was the one who could not form an immediate response. He had no expectation for what the answer to his question might be – if he had, he would have just confronted the suspect directly instead of coming to Miss Nagato – but this was a whole new level of unexpected.
He finally managed, "Emiri Kimidori? The secretary to the Student Council President?"
Miss Nagato faintly nodded.
"B-b-but she doesn't even know me! Why would she even notice I was missing, much less reach out to -"
It hit him. The obvious explanation, and the only one.
He had a secret admirer.
Even if it was obvious, it was still shocking. He never had even considered the possibility of a girl pining over him. And what a girl! Miss Kimidori's quiet beauty was surpassed only by her charming politeness. She had more than her fair share of male admirers, yet she remained most chastely unattached. To think that a girl like her would reserve her affections for him...
...Then again, why not? Not all high school girls were as airheaded as popular fiction liked to portray them. Logically, there had to be at least a few who could appreciate what a man of intellect and programming skills had to offer, and in that field he was in the top tier of students at North High. He was pretty handsome, too, if his own assessment and that of his mother were anything to go by. The situation was perfectly natural, even if it sent a thrill all the way up his spine.
He'd long been wishing for a girlfriend. Though he had tried to forget it, that moment when Miss Suzumiya had put his hand on Miss Asahina's breast was lodged in his memory, ever making him yearn for a day when he would touch a girl like that, not because he was forced, but because it was what she wished. It was been so soft, and rounded, and yielding -
No! He had to put specific thoughts of Miss Asahina's breast out of his mind. Even if she weren't out of his league, she could never stand to be in a relationship with him after what happened. He wouldn't feel comfortable about it himself. They were probably incompatible anyway. Miss Kimidori, on the other hand, was just the sort of girl he would be happy to have around his arm.
But, wait. Something wasn't quite right. Valentine's Day had come and gone since Miss Kimidori had employed the SOS Brigade to find him, and it had been a bust for him: nothing but obligation chocolates, not that he wasn't thankful for those. Even if she was still shy about making her feelings known, surely Miss Kimidori could have left him some chocolate anonymously, signed as "your secret admirer"? Since she hadn't, did that mean her feelings had changed?
He hated the thought that because he had taken too long, he might have lost her interest. But there was another possibility. A tall, sneering, bespectacled possibility who, if memory served him correctly, had started making waves right around the time of the last Valentine's Day.
All through his rapid-fire reflections and surmises, Miss Nagato had laid there quietly, seemingly not minding at all that he had stopped mid-sentence and paid her only the most distant, subconscious attention since. Coming out of it, he gave her a brief nod, and stood.
"Thank you so much for your help, Miss Nagato. If there is anything I can do to return the favor, I hope you will not hesitate to ask."
She didn't have any response. Not even a nod. He'd known her long enough by now to be confidant that that meant everything was okay, so he made his farewell and headed to the kitchen. As he left the room, the rest of his club rushed in to fill the vacancy, once more expressing wishes to do everything possible to help her get better. He didn't concern himself with them for the moment. He needed to talk to Miss Nagato's mentor.
He found Miss Suzumiya looking fixedly at the stove as if it had done something to offend her. For a moment trepidation seized him, but then he cleared his throat and spoke up.
"Miss Suzumiya?"
She jerked her head around. "What?" she demanded.
"Ah..." The look she had been directing at the stove hadn't gone away now that she was looking at him. If anything, it had intensified. He yearned for a mediator. "Is, ah, is Kyon around?"
The look intensified further. "Do you see him anywhere?"
"Ah... no..."
"What could you want with him, anyway? He's completely useless!"
"I guess that's a fair question..."
"Seriously, you could drive yourself completely bonkers trying to get any productivity out of him. I've gotten used to it..." She swiveled her head to the right, as if Kyon were standing there. "...or so I thought, but then this happens and he's still as useless as a mud stain! Every now and then he handles himself well, so I keep getting my hopes up."
"Sounds frustrating."
But it was increasingly clear that she was no longer conscious of his presence. "I wouldn't even mind being let down all the time if he would just be helpful when it really counts! He's acting like he doesn't even care about Yuki at all! I couldn't stand to have him around here anymore, being totally useless and irresponsible and leaving this whole situation on my shoulders!" She slammed her fists down on the counter.
He nodded slowly. It was occurring to him that now was a really bad time to ask Miss Suzumiya for a favor. Miss Nagato was sick, and caring for her had to come before all else. His own issue, important as it was, counted for nothing against Miss Nagato's health and well-being. It could wait until she was better.
Besides, Suzumiya was clearly in a bad mood. And what he said before coming in still held true: He didn't want to be drop-kicked or yelled at.
She looked up from the counter and seemed to notice him again. "Hmm? What do you want?"
"Er, I just thought I'd let you know that we're leaving now."
"Good. Yuki needs rest. She can't be seeing visitors all day."
He decided to pretend not to notice her antagonistic tone of voice. Safer that way. "My thoughts exactly."
He hurried back to Miss Nagato's room to clear his comrades out of there.
It ended up being weeks until he summoned up the courage to talk to Miss Suzumiya again. He didn't have classes with her, he was never able to catch her in the halls, and something about knocking on the SOS Brigade's door unnerved him. He'd suffered defeat and humiliation at their hands twice, and even if she seemed more human now -
No, maybe it was because she was more human. Suzumiya was no longer the soulless devil who had stolen their best computer and forced him to manhandle the sweet, innocent Miss Asahina without a hint of remorse. Now she had emotions, and while that made her more scrupulous, emotionalism was something that always made him uncomfortable. With some people, you never knew when they were going to burst out sobbing or explode into a fit of violent rage. He got quite enough of that out of his family, his sister especially. In the form of Miss Suzumiya, the potential chaos was terrifying.
Still, he couldn't get the idea of pursuing Miss Kimidori out of his head. He had to do it – not just for himself, but for the entire Computer Research Society. It was up to him, their revered leader, to give them hope, to prove it was possible for nerds like themselves to find a girl who would adore them and treat them right. To show them that there was life for them beyond coding and graphics.
So while he couldn't bring himself to make the first move, when his chance came, he took it.
It was a Thursday when Miss Suzumiya burst in on a Computer Research Society meeting unannounced. "Don't pay me any mind," she said. "I'm just here on a routine diplomatic visit, making sure that Yuki is being treated well here. I'm not letting her stay anywhere where she's being taken advantage of, of course."
Kyon must have drawn cleaning duty. Ordinarily he'd be along to chaperone Suzumiya, and probably would have talked her into announcing herself more tactfully. The President noticed Yanami skootch his chair and keyboard a couple inches farther from Miss Nagato's, apparently worried that Suzumiya might assume the worst if she saw him within arm's reach of her.
Suzumiya marched around the room, scrutinizing each of the club's male members. Only Miss Nagato seemed indifferent to her presence. She had to be worried about the threat of Suzumiya not letting her stay with the club, though. Even that stony faced angel couldn't hope to get away with defying Haruhi Suzumiya.
She came to stand behind the President's shoulder and frown at his screen. "What are you working on?"
"Posting an update to the news section of our website." Something you ought to know more about, he refrained from adding.
"Lemme see." Without permission, she leaned over, seized hold of his mouse, and started scrolling down. He sat back, arms folded, and waited for her to finish. "Hmm... So you do mention Yuki's illness and recovery. Good."
He decided he couldn't rely on catching her in a better mood than this. "Miss Suzumiya, I was hoping I might ask a favor of you."
"A favor?" Her eyebrow arched with mild displeasure.
"A sort of... mission request for the SOS Brigade, I mean."
He'd stumbled upon the magic words. Her eyes were sparkling with interest. "Well, what is it?"
"Well, it has to do with... my girlfriend."
"Oh. The girl who asked us to rescue you, right?"
So, the rest of the SOS Brigade had never told her that Kimidori wasn't actually his girlfriend. Or more likely, they told her but she forgot about it. After all, why wouldn't they tell her about such a key deception?
"Right," he said. "Only... I guess she isn't really my girlfriend right now. That's what the mission is all about. You see, she's fallen under the influence of a very powerful and evil man." He figured that if he were going to get her interest, it wouldn't hurt to embellish things a little. "None less than the President of the Student Council. I am determined to get her out of his clutches."
A terrifying grin permeated Miss Suzumiya's face.
By the time Haruhi stepped through the doors of the SOS Brigade clubroom, Kyon was seated at the table with Koizumi, where Mikuru was serving them tea. He grumbled something about her leaving Mikuru and Koizumi alone in the room for 20 minutes, but she paid him no attention, just marched straight to the dry erase board.
"Valiant members of the SOS Brigade! Mark this day in your memories and reverence it for as long as your live. From this day forward..."
She spun towards them and slapped the dry erase board with her palm, making a clap like thunder. "...the SOS Brigade is at war with the Student Council!"