Grace
Chapter 1: Earth, Wind, and Fire.
The evening was perfect, as far as, a non-wedding reception goes. Not one of them got a phone call or an emergency text. It was like the entire city stood still. Not a cloud in the sky, just warm air, twinkling lights, and friends sharing each other's company.
The whole squad old and new, were circled together laughing, drinking, and telling tales of the past. It was almost the good old days with.
Fin jumped in ", Remember when Munch had that aversion to George Bush and Elliot and I kept leaving those 'Vote for Bush' pamphlets in and around his desk. Took a whole garbage can of them for him to realize it was us pranking him and not some conspiracy theory to brainwash the police force."
They all laughed, even the people who didn't know Munch.
Elliot through fits of laughter added ", or that time you told him he would have to go under cover as a drag queen and Cragen brought in panty hoes to have him try on."
Fin ", which he took home, btw! And then he started making up names!"
Elliot ", Yes! What was that one…..Madame…"
Fin ", Munchy!"
He and Fin roared with tearful laughter, and Elliot bumped into Olivia and then gently grabbed hold of her arm and then hand, giving it a squeeze.
Kat piped in ", Oh okay! Dudes in drag. So funny…in the 90's! I don't know this Munch guy, but I'm pretty sure RuPaul herself would arrest him for that name."
Elliot, standing next to Olivia, sighed and rubbed the happy tears from his face. There was a moment of peaceful playful eye contact between the three original detectives. These dated stories are just what they needed after the year they had pushed through.
Elliot, for just a few moments, forgot all of his pain and guilt. The warmth of familiar faces and laughter was the best medicine he has allowed himself to have in months. The weight in his chest felt lighter tonight. And to be standing next to his best friend outside of the drama of work, was even more healing. He composed himself slightly resting the outside of his hand just next to her hand. Not quite a hand hold, but just enough for her to notice how close he was. She didn't pull away, though.
The music turned up and everyone started heading toward the dance floor. Elliot was about to take Liv to the dance floor, but remembered he might not or shouldn't. He was in this limbo of what he should be feeling or doing. Sadness is so difficult to sit in. How long should one sit in it before it's okay to be happy again? When does a person stop feeling guilty for their transgressions. And Liv. He was lucky she was talking to him, let alone calling him up to ask if he'd be her plus one. She's standing here next to him allowing him to touch her hand. How stupid he felt that he brought them to this awkward crossroad. And desperate. How does a grieving man even begin the reconciliation a new relationship from a broken relationship. These were the things he wrestled with on the daily.
Olivia sensed him tense up and she put down her wine glass.
"Come on. Dance with me or I'll call Munch and tell him you were laughing at his drag name."
Elliot turned bright red and gave Olivia that devil may care smile. "That's a heck of a threat, Captain. I better dance with you."
He held her tight and spun her around slowly to the song September.
'Do you remember' singing in the background.
Broken bond or not, she was so easy for him to fall into. She was magnetic. Comforting. Familiar. Did she remember those days when he would have never left her? Those days where he would have rather been at work next to her than at home fighting with his kids and his wife.
He watches her body language. She's smiling, her eyes are warm, but there is still a stiffness in her. A fear that he created. He started to feel the guilt well up inside of him again. Then he thought of Kathy. Would she approve? Is this the right thing. Am I honoring her? Did I do enough? His head was spinning.
He slowed his dance steps and gazed at her.
She paused ", Are you okay?"
He didn't know how to respond ", Yeah."
He spun her around and pulled her in tight so that she couldn't see his eyes filling up with tears.
The song ended and everyone danced a few more rounds and went home their separate ways.
Elliot walked Olivia to her car.
"Thanks for making me come out tonight."
She nodded ", Of course. We all needed you to be there. It was a perfect night for Fin. And thanks for not stepping on my feet. You've got better moves than I remember."
Elliot smiled. "Yeah, it was." He hesitated and then ", Can we do this more often?"
Olivia half in her car. "Elliot, you can call me anytime. You know you can."
He nodded. "Good night. Drive safe."
"Good night."
He watched her pull away. Her silouhette fading in the night the city in the back ground. He didn't realize how much he would miss when he ran from his life. Even the smell of the river and the constant noise were like a security blanket he took advantage of.