Dying sucks.

That's right, I said it

It might come as a shock to some of you, but dying really, really sucks.

So there I was, minding my own business walking back from the local pub, swaying merrily, humming a tune to myself, as I had done hundreds of times before. It wasn't even a long walk to get to my place from the local watering hole.

But, me and my luck have frequent bouts of disagreements on where my life should head. Some days I wake up and I see the local Bin Men and I remember that I didn't put my rubbish out for collection and yet some days I'd see my neighbour and he'd have left overs from his wife's heavenly cooking.

See, nothing major though. These things happen to people all the time.

Today, well, today was different. I woke up to see my car all but Written off from the Bin Men letting the new guy reverse into it, I see my neighbour pleading for his wife to come back inside and talk about something, might have something to do with the car I see there on occasion when she's away on business. And then to top it all off, my holiday was cancelled because of a goddamned pandemic.

So I did what any self respecting British male would. I rounded up my friends, I called ahead to our local pub, letting them know the local "Boys" were on their way and that we were looking for a good night. They usually put some free chips on our table because they knew that not only would they make more money from the drinks to cover it, but that they had known us since we were children and would see us around the village all the time.

Now as I'm making my way home singing particularly obnoxiously to "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina & The Waves, which I thought was hilarious in the early hours of the morning, I saw a bright light as I rounded the corner to my street, and it seemed to get closer and closer.

Now in the modern day, most people would assume some sort of vehicle, but no, if only that was the case. Here I was making an arse out of myself and boom, I walked straight into the path of a lamppost that was falling over, crushing me instantly.

Even more worrying to me at the time as I felt the life leaving me somewhere between the lamp post hitting me and the ground I remembered something of grave importance.

"I left my keys at the pub!"

Then I woke up, well woke up would imply me sleeping, but I don't remember getting to bed after my night out.

Then it hit me, which thinking about it is a silly expression and my mind should have a little more tact than that, someone had just died.

That someone being me.

As I felt my consciousness come to properly I couldn't see anything.

No sight, no sound, no temperature.

"Welp, I guess this is purgatory." I thought to myself.

Thinking about my life I thought absurdly that I should have been christened like my older brother to avoid this kinda thing happening, but alas me and my pagan self was trapped here till the rapture, hopefully those nutjobs in the states saying it was nigh upon us.

Anyway the more I settled in the more I could feel this power flow into me, like licking a nine volt battery, but all over my body. That took some getting used to.

It all settled over a midpoint around my belly button, or where I thought it would be, because I couldn't see my own damned body. Who knows who or what is doing it but I just assumed Satan was doing his thing and really half assedly torturing me.

So long story short, I died via a lamp post and now I'm being charged like a battery, How could my day get any worse, then I realised something.

"Oh God I just left the Matrix"

I was in the matrix and I woke up in the pod like neo did now. I'm going to be flushed like a human sized turd and I'm pretty sure if Morpheus isn't waiting for me I'm going to end the day swimming and drowning in human soup.

After panicking like that for a while and not being dropped unceremoniously into a vat of goop, I just waited in a sense of anxiousness. Eventually I found that I could move this buzzing energy around what I thought was my body, so I made a game of it, racing bolts of energy up from my left and right leg and whichever reached my hands won and would get a handicap for the next race.

That little game kept me sane for who knows how long.

What was either a day or a year later I felt the surge of energy surrounding my body increase from the buzz that I had grown used to, to something stronger, not quite painful but definitely much more uncomfortable.

And with that I felt a burning all over my body like being in the sun for too long. It got worse and worse but eventually I got used to it.

"One sun dried human please Satan" I mumbled "Of course Beelzebub I have the perfect thing for you"

I giggled at that, wait, giggled, that doesn't sound like me. Does it?

I was suddenly very aware of my own attitude and that I had the stark thought.

"Am I going to go insane while i'm here."

With that thought in mind I double my focus on refining my races, changing destinations all over my body. I had one terrifying and painful experiment that I never repeated involving somewhere you shouldn't ever put a burst of buzzing energy and we will leave it at that and never speak of it again.

And by now I had almost perfect control of moving this buzz around my body. Then it hit me.

"There it goes again. Thanks Brain." I scolded myself.

"You're welcome." Another part of my brain said.

"And I'm talking to myself, Great."

Anyway tactless figures of speech aside I followed my train of thought. If I could move my energy in my body I could use it outside my body or even.

"I'm a moron." I groaned

I moved my energy in a constant flow to my eyes and whilst there wasn't any colour I could at least see.

Not that there was much to see, a dark void surrounded me with one pillar of light coming down from above me, as I moved more energy to the rest of my body in a constant circulatory flow, I could hear angelic chorus' overlaid on top of each other, seemingly coming from above me accompanying the light.

"How long..." I trailed off

Deciding not to think of my… shortcomings right now. I increased the flow around my body to as much as I could handle without breaking the circular flow.

In a rough estimate I had about ten times more energy than I did when I had arrived here, and it seemed the more it was used the more I could take in from the beam of light that was seemingly cooking me.

So there I was suspended in a void and looking up to the heavens while swirling the energy within me.

"What an absolutely insane afterlife." I pondered, spinning my energy around my core faster and faster.

Then after another eternity or more likely a week or so the energy kicked up a notch again and it was unbearable. When people describe hell as a place of fire and brimstone, they conveniently forget that it is said that heaven shines brighter than many suns. They forget that it includes the heat of many suns I guess.

Then all of a sudden my energy in my body grew like a damn burst. Painfully and blissfully I was able to bring my energy bear and felt some of the heat dissipate to an almost bearable level.

Then I heard a voice. A deep deep voice.

"Ahh, there you are child, I have been searching for you, you seem to have found yourself under My Star Forge, that is interesting."

After a second of wondering if I was having another bout of madness The Voice spoke again

"Well come on then child, come to the light."

I… well I don't really know what I was thinking. I tried to swim to the light. After a minute The Voice chuckled.

"Child, what are you doing, I believe you knew how since you were singing about it before you came here"

'What was this voice saying' I thought 'the only thing I remember singing is… Oh My God'

"Hmm, Yes child?" The Voice said

"Wait, can you read my mind?" I asked.

"Not quite" The Voice said "But you did think of my name."

And then… No it didn't hit me but it does suddenly come to me that if I was dead and the burning light above me was heaven which I can only assume it would be, then this voice must be, Wow, The Almighty was talking to me.

"Wait, I have to Walk on Sunshine? Are you serious?" I asked

"Yes child." The Voice or should I say God said.

"And probably more importantly are you really God from the Bible?"

"Ah is that what this is. I guess I am, I appear to be whatever you're view on the afterlife is, if you don't believe in one I appear as the one you know the most about." God said or should I keep calling it The Voice? Hmm Voice for now.

As I took a cautious step there was no physical floor for me to tread on but I did move forward, or toward the light, this was all so confusing.

After what felt like years or maybe even decades I felt the light and heat start to burn again but I let The Voice know and it somehow dimmed or was dialled back slightly to the point where it was bearable.

"Is this the part where I have repented for my sins and can see my loved ones?" I asked The Voice

"Not at all, unfortunately you're world, your existence has been more of a, how to put this, germination of consciousness, yes that will do, you were born in that world for you're conscious to grow and develop your own personality and tastes."

As the Light completely enshrouded me I heard The Voice as if it was coming from all around me.

"This is the start of your true life. The true beginnings of a being start with the first step, which you have already taken. So all there is to decide is 'Who' you want to become."

"What? What do you mean life is to begin now? I've been alive, I died, I don't know how long it's been but I know that. Who are you?"

Questions flowed from my mouth, this was all too much, an afterlife I can comprehend that, wars had been started in my world for nothing less than disagreements on what happened after death, but this, what's after the afterlife?

"Simple, you have a choice, everything you know, you've read has happened. What you think of as fiction is nothing but a hop, skip and a jump over a dimensional gap to another world. I believe your world called it the 'Multiverse theory', right? Did I get the name right?"

I remember the countless times I had seen threads online about multiverse theory, the different films and shows that used it. Hell by the time quantum physics had rolled around to common knowledge it was a real possibility. But confirmation on it, oh boy anything that could have ever happened, could really happen.

"So what does that mean? Do I get to go to another universe or another time in my own? If I die in this new universe is that it, do I truly die?"

"The second question is complicated, but the first, you can certainly choose to! We normally suggest a few but if a person is truly determined to go to one in particular then by all means they can do so."

There was a short pause, as if The Voice was trying to think of a way to say something.

"You can die, truly die as you say, but not from dying within one of these potential realities. You can only die if your soul well, which is where you retreat after you die, is destroyed, the more power you accumulate going forward the harder it will be for entities that wish to kill you to do so."

"So don't piss anyone stronger than me off, got it! Anything else?" I asked

"Oh more than you care to know but I guess for now you just need to narrow down which universe you would like to be reborn into first. Did you have any favorite stories, games, media, time periods etc… in your life?"

"Well I grew up with a lot of media that I like the look of, but growing up I realised that some worlds would just be torture to go through, or uninteresting to be in the background of. There are all kinds of anime and games that I could think of, TV shows and Films, I mean to be honest in the 21st century there is just so damn much damn media. Are there any that people tend to go for on the first go around?"

Taking a breath I made a real effort to think of something, where would I have visited if I had the chance? There's always Marvel but once things get going it gets really scary, so maybe after I've had some experience with this whole universe jumping thing I could give it a go.

What about the anime verses I knew well? Well naruto was a big one growing up, I played the games, watched the series, read the manga. Same with Dragon Ball, the biggest problem was I wanted a good time but I didn't want to die. Again.

Maybe I should rip the band-aid off, get a dangerous one over with but one with a massive power creep, so that there weren't too many people that could just outright kill me if I applied myself? Maybe a game franchise like Final fantasy or Mass effect, there isn't too much that can't be learnt in those universes so maybe that'd be the way to go. Wait!

"If I played a game franchise would I get the User Interface that the player would normally get?" I asked.

"I don't see why not, you could do it with or without if you wanted to, but you wouldn't be able to turn it on halfway through your new life." The voice commented absently, as if paying attention to something far away

So I could have a gamer User Interface that would help me quantify all of the information in the new worlds. That would be very helpful.

"Would I be able to have the User Interface in a non gaming world?" I asked again

"Hmm, you know not many people ask me about that, but you can if you want, there might be balancing within the universe and 'patches' or 'updates' to the system you use to account for your strength or the strength of the enemies you face." Seemingly more focused on that answer than I had heard him since I met The Voice, he seemed genuinely interested in what I had planned.

Hmm, in that case I could choose something dangerous like Marvel or Dragon Ball and min-max the stats to be efficient and keep up through sheer mathematics and grinding. Interesting.

"Well then I think I'd need a few options in where I would end up if I chose a universe, particularly, where I would end up in the timeline."

"Well let's start with Naruto" The Voice started saying before pausing.

"There are a few good starting places, this world places a lot of faith in generational progression so any generation throughout the Five Village period would do you well. You could even start in the warring clans period and make yourself a name to rival Madara Uchiha or Hashirama Senju. Any earlier than that and you wouldn't get to the reality your universe focused on in their illustrations."

I blinked. Wait, I could be at the top of these universes in terms of power. That is more than I could have imagined, I thought I'd be at best another Ten Ten.

"Of course it all depends on you. You're training, your aspirations and most importantly, your will to succeed. The undying, unyielding strength to not just survive but to win, to beat your enemy. Do you have that?" The Voices' voice rolled like thunder all around me as the light grew slightly dimmer, pure power emanating from somewhere, but I couldn't tell where from.

I just about crapped my ethereal pants from this display of total control of my surroundings, the helplessness I felt in that moment was something I never wanted to feel again.

"Ahh, I suppose you haven't seen something like that before child?" The Voice seemed smug that he held this amount of control over where I was.

""The Star Forge is my soul well, I have been tied here for a long long time, I forget who I was in my many past lives but I know I amassed power, I created realities that could not exist, and I broke every rule because I thought it was fun."" The Voice paused again "I would recommend you don't follow in my footsteps."

"I see..." This entity, this... Voice was giving me whiplash with all the information he was so casually dropping on me. Maybe I would have been better off in the void, less likely to go insane."Why don't you leave this place?"

"Well, child, that is because I see nothing as a challenge anymore. Imagine if you will the oceans of your world. Vast and powerful and could kill you puny humans in an instant." I nodded not seeing his point. "Now imagine what that water would do in space, the closer it got to the edge of your atmosphere, it would freeze and once entering the space between celestial bodies it would have only become a feature or a decoration in space. That is what any world I can dream of has to offer me. Simply my existence would swallow that reality whole. It's what happened to you. As you died you were brought to my Forge like magnets to rod of iron."

"I don't understand..." I started to say.

"I doubt you ever will, child." The Voice cut me off. "It is time for your choice, I am weary of this topic."

Well the only world he gave me information on was Naruto but I myself am a little bit of a font of knowledge for 21st media. Maybe not all of my knowledge is complete… or correct, but it is what it is.

"I wish to be placed In the Naruto-verse as a child old enough to speak, a few years before the time Kakashi and his age group are born. I wish to have the Interface as well. For the first time there at least." I say to the Voice.

"Interesting, I will keep an eye out for you child. But I cannot interfere, what are those shows that people watched in your world? Ahh yes, Soap Operas. You are my new Soap Opera child, please entertain me. " With what felt like a gust of wind I was swept downwards away from the light, now facing the darkness and keeping my energy flowing as I had been I could see pin pricks of light in the inky black, as I started to line up with one dot in particular I thought I saw it spiraling slightly around a point in the middle.

"Wait, are they unive- Grkk" I slammed forward and flew like I had never known possible, I saw this dot get closer before it was upon me and I was suddenly slowed to something that was still a blur to me. Even more suddenly I saw something approaching another dot, but this one was solid and green and blue, hurtling towards it. It was then, right at that moment when I saw the curve of the dot become my horizons, that it hit me.

"God damn it brain!" I screamed as I fell into the world of the Elemental Nations, apparently I was not only Walking on Sunshine, but The Voice had made a supersonic man out of me. So there was only one thing to scream as I hurtled towards the ground.

"DON'T STOP ME NOW, I'M HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME" The tears streaming down my face were a byproduct of having wind in my eyes at mach speed. And you can't prove otherwise.

Then I hit the floor, bounced across the floor rolling like a brick in a washing machine and finally fell still on my back looking at the moon in the sky.

This was going to be interesting.

:NEW PLAYER:

:What is your name?:

"That's a good question. What should my name be while I'm here?"

I thought about it really hard, I promise I really did.

"Koi" Seems about right.

I need a surname. What should that be? Hmmm something strong and full of character. Ahh I know the perfect name.

"Teme"

"Koi Teme. Sounds good to me! I'll fit right in."

Self Serving Bastard - I like it! They are going to wonder what my parents were thinking when they named me.

I sigh.

They'll agree before long though.

Well with that said time to find out where I am. I'll want to be in Konoha before long. If The Voice was true to their word then I should be around the time that Uzushio is being wiped out, that means that the power balance between nations, especially near the coast will be in turmoil. Lots of refugees. A perfect environment for little old me to slip through the gaps and join Konoha with a fairly believable back story. Dad was a fisherman, mom was a merchant, they took a boat to Water Country and never returned. I lived in Wave country which was the staging post for the invasion. No one will look too close at the orphan child wandering around the countryside looking for a safe place.

Sitting up, or attempting to, apparently falling through realities and headbutting a planet hurt, not the smear inducing event it should have been, but sometimes you have to make a mountain out of… wait mountains.

Focusing on the horizon I saw jagged mountains, reaching into the sky, taking stock of the sky above it was raining. Hard. Then in the distance a flash of lightning and a boom louder than any I had heard on Earth, my Earth, tore through the stillness of the night. Looking back at the mountains, I'm sure I could see lights twinkling up and down the sides, like fairy lights.

"Aww Shit. I bet that's Kumo." I sighed to myself, i don't know what a person falling through the sky at mach speeds looked like but i'm sure it wasn't a quiet sight. I started panicking for a second then realised.

"Duh it's Kumo, and there is a storm, they probably love the sound of thunder." I smacked my forehead. I'm an idiot.

"Well I better hit the road. These legs were made for walking. And who am I to disagree with them" I managed to stumble to my feet and looked back to the mountain range, where I'm sure Kumo is, did a 180 and walked the other direction. I'm sure it would be cool to play around in Kumo for this life, and I'd be plenty strong in the coming years but they were much more militant than what I saw from Konoha in the series and I don't think I could handle that in what literally was my new life. I wanted to play with Chakra, get the girl and save the world.

Well I might let Naruto handle that one, but I'm going to look good doing it. Honestly, Orange in a ninja world, surely if he can give Anbu the slip in that then I can do it in bubblegum pink. Maybe not, but it'd be fun to try.

A few days later:

I finally found a village that wasn't on Kumo's doorstep and walked into town. Now I'm from England, I have seen my fair share of old style buildings, but they were exactly that old. This town looked like it was brand new in comparison and they held a similar aesthetic, wooden walls, thatched roofs and a small garden in front of what I assumed were the residential buildings. Feels like home, if i was a peasant from the 16th century.

Walking to the centre of town I saw a building that exuded noise and thought that a pub would be the best place to find some loose tongues and maybe get a direction to the Land of Fire. Sue me my geography was awful in my world, I don't know anything about this one except the Land of Fire was huge and in the north… I think. I do remember that the weather never seemed to match anything resembling normal in my original world, so who knows.

Strolling up to the door and realising that I was a few feet shorter than when I last visited a pub I sighed, reality setting in that I was a child again

"Next stop, puberty. Ding Ding" Putting my self-pity aside I struggled to open the door, after five minutes a couple strolled down the road and gave me an odd look and helped me inside, easily opening the biggest challenge I had faced so far in this world.

"Thank you, kind stranger," I mumbled, not thinking they would understand me, because y'know I don't know japanese but to my surprise they answered.

"Aww what a polite young man, are your parents inside?" The woman of the couple asked, starting to look around the room.

"No Miss, My parents went away and I have been on my own ever since. They will be back soon though. They promised." I gave what I hoped was a believably sad smile "they said that I should head to my relatives in the north, somewhere called the Land of Fire. It sounds hot but My aunt there makes really nice buns."

"Uhm, Honey, the Land of Fire is to the southwest, you have to go through The Land of Frost and The Land of Hot Water. Are you sure you should be travelling alone? That's an awfully long way." The woman looked to her husband worriedly, confused at why parents would send their young son halfway around the world.

"Son, are you sure there isn't anyone that would look after you closer to home, a friend of your parents perhaps?." The man tried to assuage the fears of his partner.

"No Sir" I looked down, praying my acting was better than it ever was back home "No one wanted me. Even my parents." Calling on all my years of trying to get out of tough situations and blaming my brother for things I didn't do, I turned on the waterworks. Tears sliding down my face I looked up into the faces of two concerned adults. I think it broke their hearts which I do feel bad for, but we lived in a shinobi world. Lies and deceit were in the fabric as much as chakra and war.

"Ahhh sweetie, tell you what, i think a merchant is heading to the Land of Hot Water tomorrow, stay with us for the night and we'll talk to her, get you on the road with some company, huh, how does that sound?" The woman said, close to tears herself.

"You don't need to do that, I don't want to be in any trouble." I mumbled, now feeling really bad, there was no way they wouldn't have to pay to get me on that caravan.

"It's the least we can do sweetie, let's get you some food and take you home, hmm? Get a good night's rest and you'll see your aunt soon, enjoying all the buns you could ask for!" The woman was a good person, I'm glad to see that good people were everywhere. This world wasn't inherently bad, just ingrained in an awful system.

"Thank you Miss, and to you Sir." Looking over at the man, he was giving his partner a strange look, but after turning my attention on him, he smiled and hugged the woman.

"Son, let's get you fed and to bed, you have a big day tomorrow."

With that we all smiled, tears forgotten for now, we enjoyed our meal, the barkeep coming over and joining in telling stories that I'm not entirely sure a child should hear, but we all laughed and at the end of the night, we headed back to their house, a simple abode, but it was a home, full of little touches, candles, ornaments.

Definitely a woman's touch I thought as I smiled to myself.

As I fell asleep I chuckled at the thought that this is so surreal and that I, a week ago, would have never thought any of this would happen.