Chapter I

Set in 3x5

When they arrived home after the hospital Jakob went straight back to his building-sight. Jean sat in the car, the door closing ringing in her ears. She closed her eyes against the tears that welled up, but then the baby moved – probably sensing its mother's distress – and the tears began to slide down her cheeks. How could Jacob think that she would lie to him about being the father, Jean thought. Yes, she wasn't the most open and truthful person in the past, but she still thought of herself as honest.

She tried to even her breathing to stop the sobs that threatened to escape her. She knew she shouldn't get to worked up because of the little life inside her womb. Caressing her belly seemed to quiet them both. It hurt that Jakob apparently hadn't forgiven her, although it was him that insisted on becoming a family right away. Maybe they should have listened more to the therapist's warning?

With a sigh she opened the door and made her way slowly into the house. The closing of the front door muffled the sounds of hammering, that Jakob produced. It sounded angry and didn't contribute to easing her mind and heart. Jean put water in the cattle to make some tea. Looking around the kitchen she noticed that her pots and pans no longer littered the counter, so she looked into the pantry and there they were. Her right hand shot up to her chest while her left grabbed on to the door frame. Her head dropped and the sobs she suppressed earlier broke out of her throat and new tears ran down her cheeks.

Wrapped up in her emotions, she didn't hear Jakob had entered the kitchen. Jakob froze for a moment before he moved without hesitation and slid his arms around her waist. Jean startled and he could feel her tremble. He shushed her und whispered "I'm sorry" into her ear. Her breath caught in her throat as Jakob tried to turn her to face him. She buried her face in this chest and her hands gripped tight onto his shirt. His found the back of her head and ran up and down her back. Jakob continued to make shushing sounds, but Jeans sobs didn't quiet down.

She felt overwhelmed at this moment, she wanted to disappear into the warmth of his body. His attempts to help her just made it painfully clear to her what she lost ones again. Jean's intakes of breath became shorter and her trembling worse. Jakob became more worried by the second about her and what could happen to the baby. In a swift move he picked her up and carried her to the couch where he sat down with her on his lap.

The sudden movement pulled Jean back into the present and she made a move to get of his lap. He knew better than to hold on, Jean Milburn was no woman who could be forced and anyway he was glad that she seemed to breathe more regular again. He tried to catch her eyes, but she avoided him. "Can I get you anything? A glass of water maybe?", he asked. She nodded barely noticeable and so he got up and headed to the kitchen.

Jean used the moment to take deep breathes and caress her hands over her unborn child. A small kick let her calm down even more. Jakob returned, she took the water from him, sipped on it, and put the glass on the table. He had sat down beside her, facing her. She could feel his gaze and looked up for a short moment. That prompted him to speak: "Jean, please talk to me. Please I want to help. I am sorry that I made you cry." She looked at him again, her eyes burning in to his. "Why did you want us to be a family?", she asked. He hesitated. "Did you think you where obligated?", she added, hurt seeping into her voice. "No", he said, "It felt like the right thing to do because I love you." "Do you? Then how can you not trust me?" He hesitated again. "How can you love someone you do not trust?", Jean asked. She really wanted to understand, because she couldn't go on with the limbo between love and mistrust. It hurt.

Jakob sighed, "My wife cheated on me." Jean's eyebrows lifted in surprise, to her understanding they had been the loves of their lives. "We met very young. We were very in love and very naive. After we had the girls, things changed. She met someone. I think she wanted to leave me, but than she found out she was sick. I couldn't leave her." Silence followed. Jean's thoughts turned, so much made sense now. She felt her heart break for him. "Why didn't you tell me?", she finally said. "I didn't think it was necessary for you to know, it's in the past." She involuntarily shook her head – oh this man, how could he not see, that even if he tried to put it behind him, his mind would not let him so easily.

She reached out her hand, he took it and marvelled at how tiny her hand was but fit perfectly in his big one. "I'm sorry", Jean said. This time Jakob's head shot up to look at her: "Why?", he asked. "Because I reminded you of that difficult time in your life and I, by being me, I didn't make it any easier on you." He shook his dead: "You didn't know. I'm sorry I didn't realise it sooner. I should have told you. And I love you because you are you. And I love our baby" They stared in each other's eyes and saw only love reflected back at them. Without thinking they came together in a kiss. It felt like non they ever had before. It held promise of a new beginning, hope to overcome their challenges and overall, it felt like coming home.

When they parted, they wiped each other's cheeks of the tears none of them knew shedding. They rested their foreheads together and wrapped their arm around, as far as they could. The baby started kicking, not liking being squished, brought a smile to their faces. Jakob felt Jean become heavy in his arms: "Are you tired?" She nodded and buried her head in his neck. He understood only to well, so he got up, which earned him a low grumble, that was soon replaced by a squeal as he lifted her in his arms ones again. Her arms went around his neck as he climbed the stairs to her bedroom. He sat her and kneeled to take off her shoes. She took off her dress and climbed into bed. Looking up at him she said: "You are overdressed." "I didn't want to assume, and you need rest", he replied. "So do you", she said in a voice that didn't allow for protest. So, he shed his clothes to his boxers and got in behind her. She snuggled back into his chest, his hands came to rest under her head and over her belly, where he drew circles to quiet the movement within. She took hold of his hand besides her head and let out a long breath. They both felt exhausted and for the first time in a long time could relax.

To be continued…